"You've got to think of the fine times you had with your mate, not the moment of his perishin'. Every tear you shed now only wets his windin' sheet and disturbs his rest"
~L.A. Meyer

This chapter is dedicated to my uncle Chris and all the sailors who have lost their lives for our country.

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I felt nothing...

It was a hollow emptiness that had
drained me dry. Everything just felt numb, and meaningless. I didn't see the point anymore. I couldn't even see the point in eating or drinking. Nothin even tasted good anymore; every flavor nothing more then a bland, empty taste in my mouth.

I'd felt like this before - the nothingness that made me wander what the point was in getting out of bed in the morning. I didn't even understand how I would make it from my room to my door when someone knocked.

It was strange because I could always see who ever it was talking, their lips moving and their eyes casted over with worry and pity, but I didn't get it. I didn't understand why they felt the way they did. There was no point - not then, and especially not now.

It was kind of easier this time though. Wake up, get dressed, go to work, go home, and then head back to bed. I had originally thought that going back to the ship was going to be hard, but there was nothing there when ever I walked across the brow. The worried faces of everyone around me just flickered away as the darkness swarmed in, zooming in and out randomly until I was suddenly standing in my living room, my eyes focused on a single closed door.

It was how I was found.

I heard my front door open, but didn't bother looking to see who had decided to come inside. Hands found my arms, and suddenly I was moving - being moved into my room. My shirt was removed followed by my pants. Who ever it was kept my underwear on but left me standing bare in the middle of my room.

Black covered my vision for a second and then I felt something snug around my torso. I looked down, staring blankly at the black dress, not bothering to looking up until I felt the sun on my bare shoulders. The warmth was gone all to quickly and I was being moved again.

Voices echoed all around me, and at one point I swore an all to familiar voice had said my name, but I couldn't look up. There was this tiny prickling feeling in my chest, a slight stab that drew me inside my own self and chained me down. I'd noticed it before, but never paid attention to it.

When the warmth hit me again, the amount of voices increased, and my name was called out multiple times. My eyes never left the ground in front of me though. At one point I knew I was sitting, and all the noise had vanished except for one voice, but I didn't hear anything it said. Once it stopped I was standing again, my body being moved by someone else, and then there was the warmth, and then I was sitting and moving like before.

The movement was shorter this time, and the warmth that had been covering my arms had chilled slightly. I heard a throng of words being thrown left and right, and suddenly a lump of shade was thrown over me, the line dividing the shade and light cutting right through the spot I had been staring at.

By the time I stopped walking, I could feel the presence of others swarming around me. I felt sick, the closeness making my chest tighten and the breath in my lungs harder to catch. My feet finally decided to move on their own,when a rough pair of hands pulled me back. They pressed down onto my shoulders and held me still.

The tightness in my chest grew, the feeling almost too much to for my chest, my breaths came in light and ragged. Light danced around the corners of my vision and beads of sweat gathered along the back side of my neck.

Suddenly, the sound around me became too much. I cried out, shoving the hands off of me and crashed onto the ground, my hands catching me just before my face collided with the ground.

"Mia..." I finally looked up, my uncles tired eyes filled with dread and worry. It was my breaking point.

Everything came flooding in, the pain, the emptiness, the sorrow, the guilt, all the emotions that I had managed to suppress. I felt the air in my lungs thin, each breath harder and harder to catch. Someone else crouched down to where my uncle was, his all too familiar hazel eyes coming in close and he forced my gaze onto his, "You are having a panic attack Mia, you need to breath."

I couldn't do it. The air only became harder and harder to grasp, each breath like a thousand little needles inside my lungs.

My uncle suddenly pulled me into his arms, wrapping them around me like my father used to when I was younger. I clung to his jacket, squeezing my eyes shut as I desperately reached for air.

The hold around me suddenly tightened, and I felt myself being shifted. Everything had grown quiet, eerily quiet, like no one was breathing.

"Open your eyes Mia." It wasn't my uncle, nor was it her fiancé. The silence clicked in my fogged mind. Something was wrong, "I said, open your eyes." I shouldn't have listened, I didn't want to, but I did anyways. The air in my lungs completely froze as I found my eyes drawn to the barrel of a standard issued police pistol.

I couldn't take my eyes off the barrel, but it didn't matter, who ever the attacker was, was satisfied that I had done what he directed.

"You are a selfish bítch!" His grip on the pistol tightened, "You let her die!"

"Andrew-"

"Shut up!" He seethed, his hand beginning to tremble with unfathomable rage, "All of you are pathetic! My sister is dead, left behind like she was a piece of trash, and yet all of you here are clinging to this woman! She left her there! She let her die! How can you all just be okay with this!" The pistol jerked forward, the edge of the barrel only a few hairs away from my forehead, "Did you enjoy watching my baby sister die!?"

"Drew-"

"SHUT UP! Next word said by anyone and I put a bullet in her skull!" My uncle tensed, "Tell me if you enjoyed watching her die Mia! Please let everyone know how much you enjoyed watching my sister get shot! How thrilling it was to watch that ship explode with her body still on it!" He laughed suddenly, the sound dry and hollow, "Were you jealous of her or something. We're you hoping that by getting rid of her, that you could have all the better job opportunities? I know Mia! I know about what was really going on! She told me that her only competition on the ship was YOU! It was the other way around to! As long as she was there, you would always have someone keeping you from the top!"

He was right. She was my biggest threat, as was I hers, but that didn't make me hate her. It only caused us to work harder. If it wasn't for her, I would have probably ended up somewhere else with my career. We both challenged each other, every day with everything we did.

"I-I..."

"You what Mia!?" He hissed, "You wanted her to die...is that what you're trying to say!?" He shoved the barrel against my forehead, the metal cold against my skin, "I'm waiting Mia!"

"I..." hot tears spilled down my cheeks as her smile flashed across my vision. She had the sweetest smile, a smile that always made anyone recuperate one of their own. It was one of my favorite things about her, "I loved her..."

"Shut the hell up!" He screamed, his dark brown eyes flooded with uncontrollable rage, "That is a lie! Now tell everyone the god, dãmn truth Mia!"

"That is the truth!" I cried out.

She wouldn't want this..., "Do you think I wanted to leave her on that ship! I tried to get to her! I tried to save her! Those bastard took me before I could do anything!"

"It should have been you-"

"And you don't think I know that! She had so much more to look forward to then I did! I ask god every night why it was her! I wish it had been me, and not her! I-I-I...I wish I could go back trade places with her...Ashley...she didn't deserve any of that...I...There was nothing...I tried..."

"You didn't try hard enough-"

Blood...

I screamed as it splattered against my face, the stickiness covering the paleness of my hallow cheeks. My uncle scrambled to his feet, taking me with him as he backed away from Andrews crumbling form. My chief stood behind him, smoke spilling out from the barrel of his own gun. Michael caught Andrew as he hit the ground, the anger seeping from his eyes as the sound of sirens wailed in the distance.

My feet moved on their own, stepping backwards as Andrew moved forward, his sin filled brown eyes never leaving mine. He walked me into the couch, forcing my body down with a push against my forehead from his gun.

His gaze darted towards the side, his gun trained on me, "Lock the door. Now." He was talking to Killian. My breath caught as I heard the movement, followed by the sound of a deadbolt clicking into place, "Good, now come sit down next to Mia." I kept my gaze forward as I felt the spot next to me dip under his weight. Everything in me screamed to get him out, but I didn't dare move.

The gunner observed us both for a few minutes and then took a seat across from the both of us, his gun still trained on me. He smiled and relaxed into the cushion, "It's been quite a long time Mia."

"How-"

"Don't talk." He snapped, his smile fading before returning a few seconds later, "I'm the only one of who gets to talk today. Do you both get that?" We kept quite, nodding instead of letting the words come out, "Perfect." Andrew paused, darting his gaze between the both of us, thinking to himself.

Max had to have been hurt. There's no way that he would have just let the man walk in here. Killian probably didn't have enough time to hit the emergency button under his desk, his fear for my life most likely controlling his actions. Unless Andrew forgot to block the video feed, then we were on our own.

The gun moved. My heart jumped as I realized the barrel was no longer pointed at me, "Prison sucked you know, but I made some friends. Very powerful friends actually. They helped me get free..." Cause that's what this world needs...him free, "I thought about you the whole entire time I was there. You were in all of my dreams. Would you like to know what happened in my dreams?" I remained still, but my answer didn't matter.

Andrew continued without my response, "I dreamed of all the ways I could kill you. Sometimes your death was slow, the pain so evident in those clear hazel eyes of yours. Other times it was quick and to the point." He moved the gun again, this time pointed directly at my head, "A single shot to the head. One bullet and dead."

He moved to gun back to Killian, "They were such sweet dreams..."

Killian suddenly shot to his feet, "Listen here you sick-" I shot up for him right as Andrew clicked the safety off his gun and stood himself.

"Sit the fuck down or I put a bullet in her head!"

Hesitantly, Killian sat back down, this time much closer to me then before. "Next time you interrupt me, I shoot. Do you understand?" Killian nodded painfully, his anger practically radiating off of him. He was mad, and scared, a deadly combination for the situation we were in. I prayed that he controlled himself.

"I've thought of so many ways I could kill you Mia. Each idea brought more and more joy then the previous one. There were so many wonderful, blissful ideas, and for the longest time, I just couldn't decide. Killing you slowly would be nice...I would like to see you suffer, but at the same time I just want you to die.

I had thought about it while I watched you. While you were walking around the city, looking so happy and innocent...It would have been easy to grab you at that point, but I wanted to wait until I knew for sure.

I thought about it some more on my way up here. Killing you slowly was holding a greater poll on the decision, but then I heard something wonderful. I heard everything you said to him while you two were in here, thinking that you had all the privacy in the world. It was like a light had shined down and an angel came to me with the answer that I should have thought of a long time ago.

I've decided that I'm not going to kill you Mia. As much as I wanted to...I think killing him will be much more painful."

My control snapped.

"Please Andrew! Killian...H-He has nothing to do with this!"

"He has everything to do with his," he growled, his hand tightening around the grip of the gun, "He's your happiness, so why wouldn't I take it away for good?"

"Listen sir-"

"You shut up!" He screamed making me jump. "The only thing I will be hearing from you is the last breath you take do you hear me!? She deserves this after what she did!"

"He doesn't need to die!" I cried out praying Max had woken up and managed to call security, "Just kill me Andrew! Please let him go!"

"Do you really love him Mia?" My gaze flickered over towards Killian. I could see the struggle in his eyes. Everything was spinning out of control.

"Yes," I sobbed silently, "Yes I do-"

"How much?" He growled.

"I-"

"Do you love him as much as you loved Ashley? Do you love him enough the leave him behind to die like you did with my sister!?" I try to answer him but my sobs becomes caught in my throat. My silence only angers him more, and the panic in my chest rises, "Answer the question Mia!! Do you love him enough to watch him die!?"

Before I can answer him, my knees give out, and I drop to the ground in a fit of hysteria. "Please don't kill him! I'm begging you to take me instead! I let your sister die! I know I should have been the one left on that ship! I-"

"You let her die. It's as plain and simple as that. And now," he cocked back the hammer, "You are going to stand by helpless, as the man you love dies."

Everything goes silent.

My screams filled the room as Killian's body jerked, his eyes going wide as blood started seeping into his shirt. I dove for his body as he collapsed, my heart dropping as his crimson blood started pooling onto the carpet.

"How does it feel Mia!? He's going to die, and it's all your fault-" my ears started ringing at the sound of shattering glass and bullets dance around us.

Killian reached out for me, blood trickling down his lips as he tried to speak. I shake my head at him, and moved to his side, "oh god, please hold on..." I press down onto the bullet wound, my cheeks raw from the tears still flowing, "You better keep breathing Killian or I swear to god I'm going to-" my words died in my throat unable to think that far. I stared at him, my vision going blurry as another fit of tears managed to take over, "You can't leave me! You told me you loved me! You don't get to leave me after telling me that, not when I love you too! Do you hear me," I sobbed, "I love you Killian! So you don't get to leave-" suddenly I'm in the air, Killian being forced farther and farther away, darkness swarming him as I'm pushed back, "No!" I stroke out, reaching for anything that would allow for release, "Let me go! I need to be with him! Noooooo!"

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Another update!!!

Probably two weeks till the next update. I've got to completely rewrite it, so it's going to take time.

Please remember to comment and vote.