Seven's feelings were killing him inside.

If he could ask for one wish; that would be...

To be loved, and to be in love.

As he stared at the 1's and 0's on his screen, he could only let out a deep sigh.

What have I done?

Oh God, what have I done to her?

Seven rests his back against the chair, turning his head around when he sees Saeran come inside with takeout.

"Saeyoung, I bought them."

When he hears no reply from the hacker, Saeran places the bag on the kitchen counter and walks up to Seven.

"Are you thinking about-"

"I told you not to bring up her name." Seven snaps at his brother, and stands up, his hands buried deep into his jacket pockets. Saeran blinks a couple times before he sighs in reply.

"You need help."

That is all he says before he goes to have his lunch.

Seven stands in his spot, and for the umpteenth time in his life, he wishes that he could just die already.

Ever since she came to the RFA, there wasn't a single moment of the day where he didn't think about her.

He couldn't deny the fact that he loved her beyond words, probably even more than he could ever express.

He wanted to slap himself for the words he had chosen to say.

'It was wrong of me'? Are you kidding me? What were you really sorry for?

You should have told her you loved her, but that you couldn't let her get hurt by the Agency!

That you didn't regret anything you did, but you were sorry that you couldn't go on giving her more of what she deserved?

Seven's heart throbs painfully when he recalls the sad expression on her face, the tears that spilt out, he wanted to wipe them away and tell her that it will be okay.

But that was the thing; he wasn't sure of it himself. How can he promise something he was unsure of?

And when he had heard that she had overdosed herself and was admitted to the hospital, he could not hold himself.

He had sneaked out at 3 am when everyone was sleeping, visited her when no one else was around and stayed until 7 am just watching her face, before rushing back home before Saeran woke up.

His work for the Agency was getting delayed, but he now had the will to finish it.

He felt like he had a reason.

With a clenched fist, he sits back down and resumes his work.

•••

"Finally!" Seven stretches himself, a hint of satisfaction on his face while the email loaded and got sent.

A pop-up appears on his screen, and for the first time in a very long while, a genuine smile plasters on his face when he pressed the 'ok' option.

Sighing, he stands up and calls for his twin brother.

"Saeyoung? What's going on?"

"Come here."

When Saeran steps out, Seven shows the screen to him and smiles.

"I left the Agency."

I wouldn't have been able to do it if she didn't give me her support for so long...

I'm so grateful for her...

"You... What?"

"I finally left the Agency. Now I am free to take care of you.... To have a family..."

"And to love her? Is that what you wanted to say?" Saeran wants to know, sitting down beside him.

Seven looks down at the keyboard, unsure of what to say to that.

"What happened with the two of you?"

Seven was the kind of person who hesitated a lot before talking about his feelings. It was embarrassing, and he always wanted to just shove it away somewhere.

But in front of him, he saw that it was his brother, his twin brother. If he couldn't confide in him about this, then who else did he have?

And that is how he found himself telling his brother about everything, starting from the day she first popped into his life.

How hard she had tried, and how she did succeed, how every time she laughed, he fell for her even more...

All the harsh things he had said to her, all his regrets...

Everything.

"Saeran, I love her." Seven's voice is wobbly when he's done, and his brother closes his eyes and lets out an exhale.

"You should be telling her that, not me." He points out.

"But she's going to hate me for what I did.... I want her so much that it's driving me insane. I want her to move in with me and stay here, right here, I don't want anyone to touch her, even you."

Saeran raises an eyebrow at the last part. "Then... tell her that. I'm not the best person for you to ask love advice from, but I can at least tell that you have a lot of things you'll need to tell her."

"I made her a diary app and told her not to tell her feelings to me, and write on that instead."

Saeran's eyes go wide at this information.

"Did she use it?"

"Yeah. She used it a lot. Sometimes, I had to tell her to keep her phone away because she's always tapping on it. Why?"

"Have you ever read it?" Saeran asks a question back, and Seven furrows his eyebrows.

"No. Why would I? It's a diary, Saeran."

"It's probably filled with things about you." The boy has to say, and he stands up and leaves.

Leaving Seven in turmoil over what to do.

Should I read it?

I have to make up with her... I have to at least apologise properly for what I did...

Does she hate me?

There was only one way to find out, and Seven found himself giving in once again.

How selfish I've become ever since I met her...

And yet, I want even more...

And he opens up his computer once again, promising himself that this would be the last time he ever hacked into anything.

---

a/n; aaaaaaaaaaaaHHHHH