to all my beautiful readers who requested the angst ending for this book/who wanted fluff but also wanted an alternate option to choose whether they want an angst too. here you go! this is unofficial, the fluff ending is the original ending, but let's just say that this is a bad end? Lol. Idk to write angst kms (╬●∀●) anyhow, i'm so thankful for the support. i love you all for the support! (▰˘◡˘▰) -een ♥

---

You know the kind of people who say life sucks, love sucks, everything is useless, and all of those things people label as 'emo' things?

I felt as if I had become one of those kinds of people, a rotten person who only had nothing to do but to go on with life.

But when you try your hardest and life still continues to be the asshole that it is, you just can't help but to snap, right?

That runs through my mind when we hit the traffic as soon as we hit the main road.

"Oh great. I forgot it's rush hour, and I can barely drive this." I hear Saeran mumble under his breath, squinting his eyes at the controls on the sports car. "How the heck does Saeyoung even use this thing, I can't even."

And as he continues his silent mumblings- or so, he wished - another beep on my smart phone makes me glance at the screen.

"All my life I had believed that I would never deserve a love so pure like yours, and yet there you are... Do you really like me that much?"

"There's still thirty or so blocks to go, what do we do?!"

"I'm getting off!" I say, and Saeran stares at me as if I am crazy.

"You can't just run like that!"

"I can't just sit here!" I argue back taking off my seat belt.

I didn't think Saeran would understand how I felt, and I couldn't blame him.

The feeling of everything that meant to you, crumbling to ashes... especially when you had no idea why. The feeling of wanting to kill yourself, but going on and accepting it as fate.

The feeling of being so close to the person who meant everything to you, but knowing that you could never be with him again... and because of the fact that you knew the feeling, and how much it meant to you... There was no going back.

Oh Seven, please wait for me. I'm coming for you.

Even if I had to risk everything, to see his face, to see him again...

Even that much gives me the will to open the door; before the smartphone lets out another beep.

"I want to cherish you."

Please stop blaming yourself, Seven...

"No. You can't just go, there's too much traffic blocking your way." Saeran furrows his eyebrows, looking at the GPS system installed. "We can try making a turn."

Even though I was not keen on the idea, I decide to listen to his suggestion while he manoeuvres the car back, tapping the GPS system.

"We're taking the other road over there." He says, turning the steering wheel as he does so. "I promised you, so I will take you to my brother."

Or so says the sloppy driver- But I couldn't argue with him, after all. He did come to save me, the way he promised. The fact that he needed a driver's licence could be kept a lowkey secret for a while, for all I cared.

"You have no idea how much I love you now."

"God, just keep that screen away from my face." Saeran sticks a tongue out, disgusted by the amount of fluff that erupted out of nowhere. At this point, the tears that had gathered at the corner of my eyes begin to fall, and I take off my fuzzing glasses, putting them in the compartment block.

"The distance is longer from here, but the traffic is less. We'll make it soon."

Oh, Seven. Please wait for me. Stop blaming yourself and let me tell you that I love you too.

"Saeran, I want to go as soon as possible too, but please be careful while you drive. It'll be worse if we get pulled over, and we could go to jail if something happens, considering neither of us have a driver's license."

"I know the risks." He says, placing his feet on the brakes to slow down before passing a block. "I know, and you know that too, don't you? And you're here, even though you knew that well."

I'm at a loss for words as I watched the 21-year old twin brother of Seven's. Saeran doesn't say much, but he knows that when he does, he ends up saying things that can make a person think about it for a whole week straight. That was the kind of person he grew up to be, and I can't help but give him a lopsided grin. He taps the GPS system, squinting his eyes, and looking at my direction when my phone lets out a beep.

"I think it is safe to say that 707... Luciel... Saeyoung... all of me... they're all yours now."

It felt as if Seven planned on killing me with his words right there, and I shift in my seat, watching the way Saeran accelerates. It was easy to tell that he was panicking, and it made me happy that he cared so much about how his brother feels.

"You're happy to be back with Seven, right?"

"You should call him Saeyoung from now on. He'll get a kick out of it."

I can see my face reddening from the rear-view mirror. It was funny how Saeran changed the subject so easily and made me too embarrassed to utter anything else. Of course, I was aching to be in Seven's arms, the ones that made me feel so warm, so cosy, and so at home.

I needed home.

---

"I think it is safe to say that 707... Luciel... Saeyoung... all of me... they're all yours now."

Meanwhile, Seven sat on his swivelling chair, wondering what else to type. He wondered if he sent too many cringe-worthy things, but he was more panicked when he feels that she wouldn't read that anymore.

His heartbeat got up as he tried to express all his love for her.

You and I could explore space together.

I must follow my heart and confess my love for you.

Seven knew that if Saeran saw what he was writing, he would probably stick a tongue out in disgust. It made him chuckle, a little determination suddenly spreading through himself.

Okay, I got one more, final thing to say.

"I love you so much. This is selfish of me to say so, but... I want to properly ask you to date me. Please let me."

After he typed it down, he presses the 'save' button. A pop-up makes him raise an eyebrow.

'Unfortunately, 7-Oh-DiaryLogger.exe has stopped responding..'

Huh? Seven's eyes squint at his smartphone. Did it crash? Did she open the app just now? Suddenly, Seven felt himself tense up, nervousness hitting right away at the thought that she might be reading it now.

Well, I hope she notices this and reads it, the very least. Even if she doesn't want to have anything to do with me, anymore. I can't blame her for thinking that, but I hope at least my feelings for her gets cleared. He wishes, reaching for the nearest Honey Butter Chip packet. As he waited aimlessly for any kind of contact, he opens up his computer system.

Why did the diary crash? As a person who hated unfinished business, he couldn't get himself to get some rest until he managed to fix the diary app. Seven knew that she hadn't written in the app for days, but just in case... just in case, he opened his error logger to see what the problem was.

The noise of his apartment lock opening makes him look up from the codes on his visual display unit.

"Saeyoung?" He hears a familiar voice ask, and he peeks out from the glass windows, to see Vanderwood entering the apartment.

"Heya Mary Vand-"

"Shut up."

Seven chuckles, watching his friend coming up to where he sat.

"Where's that red sports car of yours that you posted pictures of on FB?" The brown-haired male wants to know, and Seven looks away from the screen.

"It's where it always is. Why?"

"It's not," Vanderwood confirms, making Seven raise an eyebrow. He opens the CCTV footage for his garage and stands up immediately when he sees that his car- his favourite on, of all- was missing. He opens the drawer under the system, and his eyes widen as soon as he sees that his keys are gone.

If the key is missing too...

Realisation hits, his eyes dilating while they look at the man before him.

"Vanderwood! Please activate the GPS system for my car and stay here!" He requests, grabbing his car keys. Without waiting to hear the confused questioning by the brunette, Seven goes out of his apartment, running the entire way to the garage. Turning the car on, he switched on the GPS system on the screen. His car, he saw, was on the run, and Seven wondered just why on Earth his brother would steal his keys.

If Saeran wanted to go somewhere, he could have just asked me. I would have dropped him off.

Or, does he want to learn to drive? He should have just aske-

Seven's clutch on the steering wheel tightens when he sees the GPS history.

Saeran had gone to Rika's apartment.

And the GPS states that the car Saeran was on was currently on the move... Its destination was locked to Seven's apartment.

You idiot. You saw me writing in the log, didn't you?

You're trying to bring her here to make me happy, aren't you?

That's just like him. Taking the duties silently and trusting everything else blindly.

Sighing, Seven starts the engine, the firing sound making him shudder before he makes his way to follow his car. He felt uneasy for some reason but shrugged it off as he passed the first three blocks.

There are so many people blogging about how love wins.

I hope she feels my love, and that my love for her, our love for each other, wins too.

"Destination car, 1.03km away-meow." His GPS system, which was an original creation of his, says in a cat voice. It makes him smile. He couldn't wait to show it to her.

And Saeran is going to riot when he hears the meows. He chuckles to himself until he hears the buzzing noise of the cat GPS.

"Sensor error-meow."

Raising an eyebrow, he glances at the system and is shocked to find that the screen had gone blank. Deciding that Vanderwood messed up at one point, he took his Bluetooth headphones, sticking it to his left ear and focusing on the read.

Vanderwood picks up on the fifth ring.

"Eh? What is it?"

"Mary Vanderwood, why isn't the GPS working?"

Seven could hear the man let out a grunt. From the noises he heard, he could tell that the brunette was walking to where the system was.

"Oh. Gimme a second."

"I'm going to stay on hold, then."

Not knowing where Saeran was driving made him annoyed, and travelling one whole kilometre just to find him felt fruitless. They could miss each other out, and Seven wondered if he should just turn back and go back home.

Whether it was an intuition or a simple thing such as an urge, he adjusts his glasses and speeds up.

"Saeyoung? I'm not sure what's wrong. There could be some fault in the wave emissions. I'll try to cancel them out."

"Wave emissions...? Okay, thanks, Vanderwood."

Seven takes off his headphone, now focusing on the road. He knew that the car was somewhere in the road he was currently on, but the fact that he didn't know exactly where, and when they would take a turn; that made his toes curl while he softly played his favourite song from the music player.

The GPS system was still pitch black, often showing a bright yellow wave-like flash, and the constant noise of the meows made Seven a bit annoyed. Maybe he shouldn't have done that cat voice thing, after all.

A couple minutes later, Vanderwood calls again, asking the boy to restart the system. He had to admit, he was getting irritated, and he punched the buttons and took a U-turn, deciding to head back to the road he was on before.

But when the GPS screen loaded back again, what he saw was the dots for both his car and the one Saeran was on, coming in contact.

"SAEYOUNG, THE CAR IS-"

And when he looked up to the front in horror, the last thing he sees is the car approaching and crashing right into his own.

"Oh my Lord."

•••

Zen and Jumin stepped out of the doctor's room, and Yoosung glances at Seven. There he sat, not moving an inch, while his hands clutched handfuls of his hair. Yoosung and Jaehee, who had also been sitting out in the waiting room for a while now, fidget in their seats, standing up immediately when they saw the two males approaching them.

"Mr.Han, is he okay?"

Everyone had miserable expressions on their faces, ever since the doctor first stepped out of the ICU with bad news about her.

'She had with her a phone that transmitted some dangerous infrared waves. I think that's why her burns were fatal. I'm sorry we couldn't save her. We tried out best. We're sorry for your loss.'

Nobody was ready for one more of that, especially Seven.

Jaehee's hushed prayers make Yoosung's teary eyes more swollen. Everyone was waiting to hear what Jumin had to say.

"Saeran is alive.." Jumin inform, making Seven's eyes close shut before he stands up. Jaehee and Yoosung's sighs fill the air, but Jumin was not yet done speaking. "He has third-degree burns, and the doctor added that his feet were numb. It had to be amputated."

"A-Amputated? Does that mean his feet are gone...?" Yoosung stares horrified, and Jaehee gives a small, sad nod.

"The police wants to talk to him about the engine fire. But when Saeran found out what happened," Zen adds, "He refused to talk to us."

There is silence before everyone turns to face Seven.

"Saeyoung, go see him. He needs you."

Will he, really? After it was my fault that he can't ever walk anymore?

If anything had to happen, why didn't it happen to me? Why didn't I die? Why did this have to happen with the two people that meant the world to me?

Sliding the door the ICU, Seven steps inside, following the nurse who led him to his brother's unit. Saeran is conscious, leaning against the bedpost. When he hears the noise of the door sliding to his unit, his glance darts to Seven, before his pupils begin to tremble.

Why, God, why?

"Saeyoung..." Saeran watches the way his brother takes a seat beside his.

"Did she...?"

Seven's silence is confirmation enough.

You loved me with a love so unselfish... That even I am jealous.

I thought I was the only one... and yet, you proved me wrong.

I crave to hold you in my arms, this time, I want to have evidence that you existed... I want you to exist.

He wanted to scream. He wanted to yell, he wanted to smash everything within his reach.

But his body refused to listen. Not a single muscle budged. He opened his mouth, but no voice came out.

The fact that the engine caught fire... And no one could save the two from the inevitable fate that awaited.

Seven hated himself for losing consciousness right as he hit the car. If only he didn't.... If only he was able to climb out of the car and haul the two out before it burst into flames...

She would have been saved...

Saeran wouldn't have had to face this...

Why did they save me? They should have kept me where I was and let me die there too.

"I'm... S-Sorry." Saeran manages to say. Seven had no idea how to respond to him, he was too busy bursting into tears as he held his brother tight.

"Saeran...What have I done to you both? Oh God, Saeran, she's no longer here with me anymore. This is my fault."

"No...I deserved this... for driving with her when I can't ..."

Seven can feel the front of his shirt dampening, and he sees that Saeran was shedding tears from the corner of his eyes. "Saeran, what am I going to do without her?"

He had been crying so much, that his eyes refused to produce any more tears. His eyelids were swollen, they ached with every blink; clearly exhausted. He wanted to drop to his knees, no longer did he have the will to do anything, even the most minor thing as breathing made him cry.

"Saeyoung... I'm so sorry... I couldn't fulfil my promise..."

And the two brothers sobbed, drowning in the guilt engraving deeper and deeper within their hearts.

•••

"Saeyoung, we will give you a lift." Jumin offers. Shaking his head, Seven raises a hand to decline, making his way out of the chapel as soon as he did so. And when he did, he stepped on soft soil, the soles of his shoes getting stuck to the heavy viscosity of the soil.

Great.

Outside, it was raining. The pitter-patter of the rain on the hard concrete roads echo in his ears as he walked aimlessly, his shoes muddy from having stepped on multiple puddles. His will to live...It had vanished, with no more traces; similar to the way he had all three of his cars just a month ago and now? They were all gone.

Seven wondered if people are stupid, to be happy in pursuing materialistic things. They never make people genuinely happy, he wished people understood that.

I'm so sorry I couldn't be yours.

All the memories came back, but she never did.

He waited and waited, for someone to say it was a nightmare, a hallucination. That he was imagining things. But she never came back. Nothing was the same anymore, and he needed to understand that.

The feeling, of falling down, waiting to hit the ground.... And he waited and waited, but it was never-ending. It was a nightmare, one that he would never wake up from.

Seven stopped talking.

'Saeyoung, say something.'

Say something?

'You want me to say something?

How do I say anything when I have nothing to say? What do you want me to say? That I'm happy?

Exactly three weeks after V had passed away, today, Seven attended the funeral of the person he loved the most. He didn't know which fact had made him unable to say a single thing when he had been asked to read his eulogy; the fact that he would not only see the love of his life ever again, or the fact that Saeran, in the guilt of him being responsible for her death, had stabbed himself just hours before the said funeral.

"Saeyoung, please say something."

'You loved me more beautifully than the way the rain feels on a warm, lazy night. You loved me more unconditionally than the way the sun comes up and shines brightness through the darkness. You loved me more irrevocably than the way the moon gives hope, that even in the pitch blackness, there'd be light.'

How could I have done that to you, someone so pure like you?

Everywhere Seven looked, all he saw was black. Darkness. Fear. Everywhere he walked in, all he heard was echoing of painful voices in his head.

If God wanted us to separate, then why did He bring us together in the first place?

And every time he was alone, all he could think about was her.

Dark nights had started to become his companion. He had nothing left.

And if God wanted me to take care of my brother, why did He never give me the proper chance to?

Seven believed that there were two things in life that gave him the motivation to believe in himself.... And the motivation to live, after having everything broken for so long...

I always kept the pain inside of me because, even if it broke me, I didn't want to break anyone else.

I was standing on a line between giving up, and seeing how much more I can take...

Until I found you. Until you told me, that I mustn't give up... That I had your support.

That you will love me, even when I gave up on everything.

And yet, he now had not one, but both of them taken away from his clutches.

And he had only himself, to blame.

I knew it. I knew, that me trying to be happy was like chasing the clouds...

I knew it, and yet... I craved to be happy.

And while he stood outside his apartment, looking at the scattered stars and the clouds that had fuzzed up in the black sky, he is reminded of something else that had broken his heart.

A pop-up welcoming his smartphone's home screen, when he had finally managed to fix the diary app back at home.

'Unfortunately, 7-Oh-DiaryLogger.exe was not able to save any of your recent logs.'

•••

• "We loved with a love that was greater than love." - Edgar Allan Poe •

---

a/n: 3.5k words wowowowowow xD Btw, to answer an important question you all asked; Who is the narrator of this story? y o U-

thank you for being a reader of chasing the clouds. ♥ i am so thankful for every vote, every comment, everything. thank you. ♥

- een ♥