third person pov

The next morning Rose awoke with a heavy arm draped across her bare waist, eyes shooting open at the feeling of her naked body intertwined with another. From the empty walls to the brown record player and vast room size with no other beds, she knew this was in fact not her dorm.

Rose didn't have to peak over her shoulder to know who was holding her.

Carefully, she removed his arm and scrambled out of the bed, eyes quickly darting around the room to see her clothes in a trail from the door to the four poster bed.

With each piece of clothing she picked up Rose began slipping one on before grabbing another, mortified by the time she reached the door and decided on carrying her shoes instead.

Times like these she often questioned why one human would be so determined to self-destruct, sneakily slipping out Mattheo Riddle's dorm and into the long, winding stairwell.

Just as she made her way down a few steps and went to grab her dorm door, Pansy Parkinson called out from above.

"Black!"

"Fuck," she whispered before looking up at Pansy, "You do not want to mess with me right now, Parkinson."

"Let's put the enemy stuff to the side for now—"

"You are not my enemy." Rose interrupted, "I'd have to care enough about your existence and be so very bothered by you for that title to exist between us. I simply hate you because you're annoying and a cunt—not in a good way either—like you actually just have an awful personality."

Pansy's jaw drops in the utmost offensive, unable to move in shock.

Rose rolls her eyes and starts to turn the dorm door handle, stopping again as Pansy yells and rushes down the steps.

"Wait!"

"You come any closer Parkinson and I will throw you down these stairs."

"Okay okay! I just...I can't find my boyfriend and I heard you were with him last night so I thought maybe you would know where he went! I lost him during the party and he's not in his dorm..."

"Boyfriend? Since when do you have a boyfriend?"

Pansy crossed her arms with three steps between herself and Rose, "Not all of us are lucky enough to have our every move published in the prophet"

Rose begins to laugh dryly, "Lucky?!"

"Yeah, lucky. It's called fame Black and a lot of people want it." says Pansy, "Me and Graham Montague started dating over summer"

The name sends Rose into real laughter, "Graham Montague? That idiot? He can't add two and two together"

"Lay off Black—just be lucky I'm not going after any of your boys"

"Was that supposed to feel threatening? Whitman and Blaise are too loyal to ever step a foot near you. Theo's too much of feminist to even acknowledging you exist, disgusted by you since first year when you made fun of Johnson's hair—oh and he's the most loyal of them all. That leaves Draco, who has in fact shoved each advance you've thrown his way to the side since he met you." Rose deadpanned, "You'll never be even close to my level so let's not play pretend Parkinson"

"You don't have to be such a bitch." Pansy scoffs, watching Rose roll her eyes. "No ever tries competing with you and you very well know that"

"That was almost a compliment" Rose mutters and swings open the door, slamming it shut before tossing her boots onto the ground.

Relief fills her stomach at all the boys sleeping soundly in their beds, her eyes latching on Blaise's in particular because his is the only one with curtains closed.

She slips through the silk cloth and gasps at the sight, covering her mouth in pure horror. There layed Blaise against Graham Montague, his arm circled around the blonde's toned waist from intense tears of working out and quidditch.

Blaise's eye groggily opened, pulling Graham closer to no avail from the muscle mass on the boy. He heard a loud gasp and looked over at Rose standing by him with wide eyes, "You look like you just had a one night stand" Blaise mutters, shifting slightly when her mouth stays agape. "You had a one night stand?!"

Rose could only point at Graham in response.

"What..." Blaise trails off, eyes growing round and body tensing as he peers at the head of blonde hair next to him. "Who is that?"

"Graham!" Rose whispers harshly, Blaise gasping in shock. "It gets better! He's dating Parkinson!"

"Oh my...Oh it's all coming back" he grimaces and covers his face, "To makes matters worse for me—it was really good"

"Have fun with that"

His hand reaches for her but she slips away quickly, disappearing back behind the curtains to leave him wondering why the hell he decided to have sex with Graham Montague but also laughing to himself at the idea of stealing Pansy Parkinson's boyfriend.

There's Theo sleeping soundly on his bed and there's Rose halting at the end, heart pounding and ears ringing. He holds Nyx in a vice grip, and she feels the guilt of knowing he's clinging to that snake like it's her.

Suddenly the reality of last night sets in and Rose has to dart to the bathroom, strip her clothes off and scrub her skin so harshly the loofa leaves trails of red across her arms and legs.

And then she returns with wet hair dripping onto the oversized Bowie tee she stole from Whitman, her eyes clouded by tears of regret as she watched each inhale and exhale of air Theo takes.

"Fuck," she mutters, wiping her face and sitting on the edge of his bed, unable to comprehend what was happening. She couldn't feel much of anything now and the walls just kept closing in, creating an inescapable prison for herself. Whether it was the medication finally out of her system or the body she buried weeks ago, all Rose wanted to do was crawl in next to him but couldn't do so. Her face contorted in pain as her mind screamed to give in and wake him up, let him hold her while she finally broke. Every time she barely moved toward him or any of the boys, her body would shut down and Walburga's voice screeched in her head.

She grinded her teeth together, so angry that her hands wouldn't reach for him, begging some external force to make it all possible. In the most indescribable way she needed help, to alert them that she needed help, but her body wouldn't move.

Then randomly she started to laugh through the tears as water streamed down her face, feeling as if she completely lost it, completely terrified of what it meant to have no control over your body.

Nothing would be easy when you were against yourself.

Even as she got up and slipped into her own bed Rose still laughed manically, tears clogging her eyes as she brings a pillow close to her chest.

At some point sleep came, her only moment of freedom.

"She's been in there for a long time" Theo had said to Whitman and Draco, the three waking up to the sound of her showering for a second time.

The bathroom door swung open with Rose walking out in the complete uniform from the knee high shocks, mary-janes, pleated skirt, white blouse, and green tie—none of that was shocking though. Their eyes grew at her pin straight hair that hadn't been done in so long, neatly tucked behind both ears, her pouty lips covered in crimson and the rings under her eyes taken over by concealer.

"Morning!" she greeted peppily, taking quick strides to her trunk and slipping the Slytherin sweater vest over her head. "What? Why are you all looking at me weird?"

Draco leaned forward on his knees, stuttering over words. "No...I mean nothing"

"You got ready" Whitman rambled quickly, still leaning back against his headboard shirtless.

"Yes well I am a woman so I presume I'm allowed to pamper myself?"

"It's just..." Theo trailed off, taking a seat on his trunk. "You feel okay love?"

"Oh I feel amazing Teddy! I woke up around four am but fell back asleep—waking up like a new person" she sighs happily, sitting on her own trunk and crossing her legs. "You ever feel like a new person?"

"Um...sometimes I guess" he mutters with eyebrows furrowing together, looking over at Whitman to telepathically communicate.

What was going on?

"Well I do." Rose affirmed as something nudged her back, looking over at the mattress and spotting Nyx, picking up the snake before kissing the scaly head. The three boys watched until suddenly her gaze snapped onto Blaise's bed, beginning to count down aloud. "Three...two...one"

Graham tumbled out from the curtains surrounding Blaise's spot, his blonde hair rumpled and shoes in hand. "Boys," he greeted stiffly, avoiding their eyes. "Rose"

She held up her hand, waving with a smile as Blaise appeared and Graham started for the door. As soon as the wood slammed shut Blaise faced the thee boys looking at him disturbed, "What?!"

"Montague, really?" Draco states with a grimace, shaking his head. "Bloody drug addict"

Blaise leans against the bed frame, a mischievous look on his face. "That addict sure knew what he was doing...it gets exhausting being a top all the time. Nice switch up for me"

"I thought you took sleeping draught" Theo added on.

"No I went to the party" Blaise affirms, "You all fell asleep and I forgot to take my potion so I went to get drunk"

"Alone?" asks Whitman in disbelief, "Hate to break to you but we don't have other friends and there's no way you would go alone"

"Well I did so fuck off"

Breakfast went by rockily, no one quite understand why Rose was overly happy or full of energy while still seeming so distant that she could barely look at any of them. Upon arriving in DADA the group of five crowded a desk Theo and Blaise sat on, Whitman filling the Black in who their new Professor would be, Mad-eye Moody, an ex-Auror. Also known as the man who kill Whitman's father, Evan Rosier, ultimately Evan took the Auror's eye but lost the duel.

Rose felt a tap on her shoulder and the conversation of hushed whispers silenced at once, her head turning to see Hermione.

"What do you want?"

"Can we talk?"

"Sure!" Rose shrugs, grabbing the girl's hand and pulling her to an empty desk next to Theo. Their bags hit the floor as Hermione watched confusedly, Rose humming to herself as she stared at the Granger unblinking.

Hermione clears her throat, hands folding together anxiously. "I'm sorry about yesterday"

"I don't care Mione" Rose grins, "Past is the past"

"It's just I wanted to—"

"Stop!" The Black snaps, making Hermione flinch. "I don't want to hear it"

"But I have to give you this letter—"

"Can you just shut up?!"

One second she was smiling and then she was speaking spiteful, all of it too much of a whirlwind for Hermione. "What's wrong with you Rose? I'm here for you"

Rose turned her head, sharp hallow eyes staring into Granger's. "What's wrong with you?! Besides all the obvious surface flaws, of course"

The sentence shocks Hermione, recoiling away and standing up, furiously picking up her leather bag before storming away. Whitman moves to sit in the empty seat, his hand going onto the desk by Rose but suddenly it's taken by Mattheo riddle who shoots him a blank look, "Excuse me Rosier"

"Give me a minute" Rose mutters, Whitman rolling his eyes and moving back as Mattheo's arm circles her chair, pulling the wooden seat closer to himself. "You know...Whitman usually sits there"

"Thought you wanted to put some distance between you and those boys? Kept going on and on about it last night" As soon as the words leave his lips Rose's gut drops and she nods, remembering he was right. It doesn't hurt too bad because truthfully she can't feel much for whatever reason, so Rose smiles at his dark messy curls and leans closer as he speaks again. "You left something in my dorm...a big fail of sneaking out on your part"

"Did I?" she asks innocently, relaxing into the strong arm settling on her shoulders. "Guess I'll have to come back and get it later"

Mattheo starts to smirk, his dark eyes gleaming. "I suppose I can make time for that"

"Come here" Rose murmurs and grabs his chin, turning his head to the front so she can whisper in his ear.

Whitman takes the chair beside Draco, turning it around loudly as he follows Theo's burning gaze. "What the fuck?" he splutters out loudly, hearing Draco scoff at Rose pressed up against Mattheo's ear, the Riddle with a smile adorning his face.

"I'm going to kill him" Theo speaks to himself, immediately starting to stand up but being pulled back down by Blaise.

"No no no! No murder!"

Theo yanks his arm away, "Get the fuck off of me"

With a deep breath he covers his face up on the desk, Blaise unable to resist the urge to snort and speak again. "Seeing her chat with him too much for you to handle?"

"I feel sick" says Theo behind his hands before looking over at Rose giggling into Mattheo's chest, quickly covering his eyes back up. "Yeah—I'm going to be sick"

"Jealousy, jealousy" Blaise teases while looking to Whitman and Draco who seem to be in the same state, both boys giving him such sharp glare he averts his gaze to the ceiling.

A loud cane tapping silenced the classroom, a man with a peg leg and a strap across his cheeks holding a glass eye coming to stand in the front with a board being rolled out magically. "Alastor Moody"

Picking up a piece of blue chalk the professor started to write his name, shortly after looking back to the mass of students. "Ex-Auror. Ministry malcontent. Your New Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. I'm here because Dumbledore asked me. End of story, goodbye, the end. Any questions?"

No one made a noise and Moody continued with his speech, "When it comes to the Dark Arts I believe in a practical approach. But first, which of you can tell me how many unforgivable curses there are?"

Hermione timidly spoke up from two chairs behind Rose, "Three sir"

"And they are so named?"

With a deep pang in her chest and eyes glued to the back of Rose's head, the words seemed hard for Hermione to speak, voice trembling. "Because they are unforgivable. The use of any one of them will—"

"Earn you a one way ticket to Azkaban! Correct!" Moody shouts, starting to scribble on the board again. "Now the ministry says your too young to see what these curses do, I say different! You need to know what you're up against! You need to be prepared! And you need to find another place to put your chewing gum Mister Finnigan!"

Everyone turned towards the back of the room to look at Seamus as he speaks, "No way! The old codger can see in the back of his head!"

Moody took the chalk, chunking it to the boy. "And can hear across classrooms!"

Rose off-handedly smirks before whispering to Mattheo, "I like him already"

The Professor starts to walk toward the desk in front of Rose where Neville sat with Dean Thomas, "So which curse shall we see first?" his glass eye turned to a head of flaming red, "Weasley!" Ron jumps and Moody yells again, "Stand and give us a curse!"

Shakily Ron rises up, "Well my dad did tell me about one...the Imperious curse"

"Oh yeah..your father would know all about that!" he lowers his voice to a whisper, "Gave the ministry quite a bit of grief a few years ago...Perhaps this will show you why!" Moody heads to the front of the room, stopping by a stack of jars filled with creatures and pulls out a small black spider. "Engorgio" he casts and the spider swells, larger than a tarantula. "Imperio!"

Using his wand Moody starts to laugh manically, flying the spider everywhere around the room, even holding it above a trembling Ron's head until Draco started to laugh.

"Think that's funny?!"

He flung spider onto Draco's face, the blonde turning to Whitman and yelling, Rose giggling at the forever dramatics. "Get it off! Get it off!" Whitman only grimaced and moved away, completely terrfied of the creature.

Having had enough with Draco's panic and the laughter in the room, Moody levitates the spider back into the air. "What should I do next? Throw her out the window? Drown herself?!" Silence fell upon the room as he floats the spider back into his palm, "Scores of witches and wizards have claimed that they only did you-know-who's bidding under the Imperious curse...but here's the rub...how do we sort out the liars?"

Mattheo stiffened at the mention of Voldermort, Rose nudging him in the side and leaning further into his arm, knowing he could feel the stares suddenly burning into the back of his head.

"Another curse!" Moody shouts.

"There's one—the Cruciatus Curse," says Neville in a small but distinct voice.

Moody was looking very intently at Neville, this time with both eyes. "Your name's Longbottom?" he said, his magical eye swooping down to check the register on the desk.

Neville nodded nervously, but Moody made no further inquiries. Turning back to the class at large, he placed the spider upon the desktop, where it remained motionless, apparently too scared to move.

"Pain," says Moody softly, "You don't need thumbscrews or knives to torture someone if you can perform the Cruciatus Curse"

Moody raised his wand again, pointed it at the spider, muttering. "Crucio!"

At once, the spider's legs bent in upon it's body; rolling over and beginning to twitch horribly, rocking from side to side. No sound came from it, but everyone was sure that if it could have given voice, it would have been screaming. Moody did not remove his wand, and the spider started to shudder and jerk more violently—

"Stop!" Hermione shouted with a voice crack. Harry Potter looked around to the girl. She was looking, not at the spider, but at Rose, and Harry, following her gaze, he saw the Black sat up from under the arm once around her. Rose's knuckles turning white as she gripped the side of the desk with wide and horrified eyes.

Moody lowered his wand and the spider's legs relaxed, but it continued to twitch.

Rose shot up from her seat with shaky hands, crossing over to the front of the room so quickly that the Professor didn't have time to process as she scooped up the spider and start storming toward the back of the class.

"Miss Black! Miss Black!" Moody called after, the door slamming behind her. Because Moody was actually a long time death eater named Barty Crouch Jr. filled with polyjuice potion, he halted and wondered about his old friend, Regulus Black. He could recall what Regulus went through in the House of Black, making him stammer and clear his throat.

"Well then—"

"May I be excused?" Theodore Nott spoke suddenly and loud, an insular habit for the quiet boy.

Moody's glass eye zoomed in on the brunette, "Go on."

Theo scooped up his bag and yanked Rose's off the ground. When he exited the classroom she was nowhere in sight, but Theo knew where to find her. They had spent years running these hall and learning secret spots. Within minutes he turned down a hall, spotting the marble blue tapestry and pushing the cloth to the side, stepping into the small alcove.

There Rose sat with her knees pressed up to her chest, tears running down from her widened eyes as she cradled the large spider.

His bag fell to the ground. Crouching in front of her, warm hands gliding onto her kneecaps. Rose lifted her gaze up to him with a shaky voice, "I—I can't heal him. I tried and tried but he just keeps twitching in pain."

"Let me see him love," Theo murmurs and takes the spider from her hands, even though he's crouched down his presence is still so large and towering—but instead of it making her uneasy Rose feels safe and comforted in that tiny corner as she watches him whisper a soft spell.

Slowly the legs of the spider relax and Theo outstretches the creature with pursed lips, "You wanna hold him?"

"I'm sorry." Rose whispers to the spider as she brings it into her chest, head tipping back against the stone, whimpering quietly.

Theo's wide hand wraps around the side of her neck, thumb pressing into her cheek as he makes Rose look at him. A conversation occurs with their eyes that doesn't need words, Theo simply muttering. "I know" before he moves beside her and slumps to the ground, wrapping her head up and bringing it into his chest. Usually Rose would protest anyone claiming to 'know' but Theo knew everything and he understood her in every single way.

Her body was too weak to win the battle of pushing him away. Instead she wrapped herself around him like a tree, crying quietly as his lips go onto her forehead.

*

Just before dinner Rose had found herself in an empty corridor, mood flipped and the weirdly happy state she had taken to this morning came back. Chatter and footsteps rung out from the hall around the corner, students rushing to the Great Hall after a long first day of classes.

After Divination she snuck off with Mattheo and now found herself pressed up against a stone wall with Riddle leaning overtop of her, his arm resting by her head as she rambled about the prediction she received.

"Death over-looms the heart of black, a greater force calls forth" Rose mocked before tugging on his waist, "What the fuck does Trelawney mean by that?"

"She's a loon Rose" his eyes rolls, lips curling up as Rose pinches his side. "What? Every one knows Divination is bullshit"

"Divination is very real—the only people who don't believe are short-sighted by their inability to be open minded." her hands glide up, sending a shiver across his body, "If something was happening this year with To—your father I mean, you would tell me?"

Mattheos features fall flat, "Nothings happening."

"Listen I just—"

"Shut up" he scoffs and cups her face, "I'll kiss you if you stop asking questions"

"Oh well in that case...." Rose giggles, "Consider me silenced"

"Mhm" Mattheo murmurs with lips twitching once more, gently pressing their mouths together. Just as she starts to sigh at the feeling a throat clears as rapid footsteps stop beside them, Rose pulling back to see Hermione with arms crossed.

"Are you incapable of leaving me alone?" Rose groans and looks down the hall to see Mcgongall at the intersection with a reprimanding look as she directs the traffic of students.

"I just need to give you something! I refuse to withhold it any longer!" Hermione's eyes trail over to the Riddle, "Alone please"

"I'll meet you in the great hall" says Rose to Mattheo, giving him a slight shove.

Hermione waits until he makes a distance of five feet away to speak, rummaging through her bag speedily. "Harry received a letter from Sirius and I thought you should read it"

"You want me to read a second hand letter from my father?"

"No." Hermione quips and holds out the folded up parchment, "You need to know what's going on with Sirius though"

"No I don't. If he wanted me to know he would write to me. Even since Walburga's died he hasn't checked to see how I'm doing."

"Just take it" she shoves the letter to Rose's chest only for it to be given back.

"No!"

"Take it!"

"I said no!"

All at once the two girls started forcefully shoving the letter inbetween eachother. Mcgongall spotted the tussle and quickly started down the hall, "Girls!"

"What is wrong?!" Hermione yells suddenly, clutching the letter so tightly it crumbled up—gasping to herself when Rose slams her against the wall. "Look at you! You're being violent and mean! Kissing Mattheo freaking Riddle when you were just telling me about this great summer with the two boys you love?!"

"Just shut up!" Rose spat, grabbing Hermione's shoulders and shaking her. "I want you to leave me alone! Can't you do that?!"

"You're hurting me!" Hermione winced upon Rose's nails digging in, trying to twist away to no avail. Ultimately she stared at the Black with a face contorted in pain, "You're finally free and this is how you act?! Mother Nature took away Orion and Walburga! Shouldn't you be happy?!"

"Happy?!" Rose shouted, putting her forearm up against Hermione's throat with nostrils flaring. "You don't know anything! Nothing about either of their deaths! What—why are you doing this to me?!"

"Because I need to be there for you!" Hermione grabbed at Rose's arm, struggling to breath. "I know that they didn't love you and now their gone! Leading to you hurting all the people who actually do love you!"

At once Rose released her, recoiling back slightly. Water brimmed the Black's eyes, "Did you just say they didn't love me?"

Hermione gasped for air, wearily holding her throat. "Yes! You have me and I love you! So stop!"

"They loved me!" Rose shouted and Hermione flinched away, "Stop talking about stuff you don't understand!"

"Miss Black and Miss Granger!" Mcgongall greeted quickly, placing a hand on the raven haired girl.

"No they didn't! I—"

Hermione's word were cut as Rose reared back, slapping Granger across the face so harshly she fell into a bent position, the force of all the chunky rings filling her mouth with blood.

"I'm going to fucking kill you!" Rose spat and lurched at Hermione, her waist being scooped up by Mcgongall with suprising strength.

"Miss Black! Stop!" Mcgongall struggled deeply from Rose twisting out of her grip, sighing thankfully as Mattheo came up and took the girl away. "Take her to her headmasters office!"

Rose yanked herself from Mattheo after he put a few feet of distance between her and Hermione, body twitching with the urge to turn around and turn Hermione into a pile of melted bones.

*

Dumbledore sat behind his office desk, the moon now shining in and reflecting off his small glasses. He watched Rose from across himself, the Black gazing up as she tapped her nails impatiently. Mad-eye moody next to him with a worrisome look at how calm she appeared.

Dumbledore spoke up softly, "That's two days straight of attacking a student Rose...."

"Yeah well both those little bitches deserved it" she spat, rolling her eyes when Moody snorted.

"As you know we need to—"

"Alert my family?" Rose interrupted, "Sorry Dumbles but I'm pretty sure they are all dead"

"Rose dear I know—"

"Why does everyone keep saying they know?!" she suddenly shouted, "You don't fucking know anything!"

Moody patted Dumbledore's shoulder with a shake of his head, signaling to leave her alone.

The stone carved door creaked open, Mcgongall walking inside with a sniffling Hermione and Snape. Rose clutched her head as Hermione sat next to her and the professors all started arguing at once, debating over the situation with loud voices.

"Listen!" Rose yelled and garnered everyone's attention, quieting them. She smiled sarcastically in return, "While your all trying to point the finger at me I just did what everyone wishes they could do. Hermione sits so high and mighty on some thrown but she's really just a self-righteous bitch." Rose shrugs, "I mean someone had to humble her and obviously that quest fell upon me, so honestly everyone should be thanking me and then going back onto their day because truthfully if I want to attack her again none of you can stop me and neither will your silly little wands. You can thank Dumbledore for that."

When no one spoke Rose started to laugh manically, leaning back into the chair. "If you really think about it....none of you have more power than me unless you, Dumbledore, of course. It's almost like I'm a God?"

Hermione whimpers through tears, shifting to face Rose. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay"

"Hey!" Rose slammed her hand down on the arm rest, "Stop fucking crying!"

Mcgongall spoke firmly, "I think she's only upset dear"

"She tells me my family never loved me and she gets to fucking cry?! Play the victim to you all?! I don't think so!" Rose shouts and Hermione covers her face up, only crying more. "Stop fucking crying bitch! Walburga died three weeks ago and you came up to me!"

If anything the yelling made Hermione sob, Rose jumping out of her chair and grasping the girl's face before being yanked away by Snape. "Oh you poor little girl! Can't handle being slapped or yelled at! Stop crying right now! Stop it!"

"Rosalie Aries Black!" Dumbledore commanded in a rare harsh tone, her movements instantly ceasing. "Go get some air and come back when you're calmed down!"

Mcgongall goes to protest as Snape let's go of Rose, "Albus she doesn't need to leave right now!"

"I'm leaving" Rose muttered, swiftly heading to the door and shouting with a grin as she opened it. "Dry those tears Granger and learn to sleep with one eye open!"

*

Atop the Astronomy tower Theodore Nott stood with a black hoodie across his chest, one ring-clad hand gripping the railing tightly as the other held a cigarette up to his lips. 

The stairs creaked as someone stepped onto the top floor but he didn't have to look to know who it was, he could always feel Rose.

"Was wondering when you'd come"

She stops for a moment, drinking in his backside. A tall and beautiful presence.

"Didn't know you'd be up here" says Rose, coming to stand next to him with both fingers wrapping around the railing as warm autumn air floats in. "Got tied up with Dumbledore. Smacked Mione in the face."

"Hm," Theo hums and holds out the cigarette, "She deserves it"

"You don't even know what she did" Rose shot back, taking a quick puff as she admires the far and few freckles painting his tan skin, his fluffy but curly hair getting hit with strong wind.

"Let me guess...." he drops down onto his elbows, smiling as he looks over at his version of the universe. "Talked about Walburga or Orion or Sirius?"

"Yeah" Rose snorts and Theo can feel the wall she's placed between them.

"You've given Hermione free passes for years because you love her" his eyes roll, "You know...it's always been so crazy to me the stuff people can say when they're completely clueless on what their speaking of. I have a deep disliking for your friendship with her and of her in general. It always drains you one way or another and she's critical, too fucking critical of everything you do."

"That's just her personality. Mione's judgemental and close-minded and I know we were never meant to become friends. Should've stayed away ages ago." Rose takes a deep breath and tosses the cigarette off the edge, debating on whether or not to tell him what really happened. "She um...she told me Walburga and Orion never loved me."

"That's not true. Humans are so multifaceted. Walburga and Orion were abusive cunts but everything they did they believed was for your sake or the stuff they did while angry we know was apart of their own trauma never getting healed. None of that excuses their actions or lessens what you went through though." Theo shifted upward, one hand gripping the railing as the other moved onto her back. "No one and nothing is black and white, not even someone as cruel as Voldemort. Walburga definitely wasn't a two-dimensional person and I will always hate her but I think it's important to understand that although abuse isn't love, she did believe to love you in her own way. That's something no one should invalidate."

Her lips parted and breath hitched, looking at him like some sort of God. "You always speak so beautifully Teddy"

"You do too love," he murmurs huskily, brushing away her hair. "But most people don't hear you—takes the right person to really listen"

Rose bits her lips anxiously, "You always listen though. Even to my most pointless and outlandish thoughts."

"Your mind is my favorite part of you, the most eloquent part." Theo smiles softly and she feels it in her chest, "I would never love someone who didn't have such an outlandish brain—full of weird theories—open to anything."

"I guess I'm crazily open minded" Rose jokes, surprising Theo in every way that she hasn't run from him yet. "You're pretty wacky too though, Nott"

"Crazier than the craziest" Theo proclaims with a long sigh as he cups her cheek, "They call it poet syndrome—have to be insane to be a phenomenal writer"

Rose giggled and his faces perks up at the sound but then she's turning back toward the night sky, shifting away slightly and he knows theres a war inside of her.

A silence grows between them before Theo speaks softly as he stares at the northern star, "You know that essay Mcgongall set?"

"The extra credit?"

"Yeah. I'm going to do it."

Her brows furrow together, still refusing to look at him. "You never do extra credit...I mean you're extremely intelligent but you don't care about being at the top. Not the rivalry type when it comes to academics"

"But it's on a memory from our childhood, a rhetorical essay about one of our favorite moments."

"Oh."

"Can I show you?"

"What?" Rose splutters, turning to face him.

Theo raises an eyebrow.

That's all it takes to convince her.

"Okay" she whispers, breathing catching loudly as he scoops up her cheeks and gently presses her into the stone column. "Theo...."

"Shh.." he whispered back as their foreheads connect, "Let me in."

Her eyes fell shut at his command, the wall of her Occlumency crumbling. Theo focused on a certain memory, willing himself to only show her the specific one he was thinking about.

flashback- rose & theo at 12 years old

Rose laid in a field behind Nott Manor, tall weeds circling her body as the summer wind warmed her cheeks. This would always be one of her favorite places, so beautiful and silent, so wild and free—full of different wildflowers.

A young Theo came running up and pushing through the thick grass, throwing himself down onto the ground and making her tumble to the side.

Childish laughter erupted from both of them as they let go of each other and Theo propped himself up on her chest.

"Let me see..." Theo whispered teasingly, stretching his arm to avoid the pink flowers and pluck a yellow one from the ground, Rose smiling brightly as he placed it in her hair.

"You look so very beautiful Ro"

She giggled and touched the flower, "I missed you—took ages for you to find me"

"It only took me ten minutes" Theo smiled goofily, grunting as she flipped him over and collapsed on his chest. "You know...this game of hide and seek is still amazing with just us two"

"I know! Whit and Draco could never compete with us anyway" Rose mocked boastfully, swatting at Theo as he adjusted the flower behind her ear. "Ten minutes is a long time without my...best friend"

His arm moved behind his head, admiring her in a youthful way. "You'll never make me go long without you, right Ro?"

"No but if do....." she trailed off, pinching his cheek and giggling again as he grumbles. "All of you have to do is say our phrase and I'll find you"

The phrase they said even when next to each other, when it felt like the other was zoning out or slipping away or too sad.

"You there?" Theo whispered with a toothy grin, leaning his head up toward her.

"I'm here." Rose answered, quickly pecking his cheek before rolling off his chest.

"Oh no you don't!" Theo teased loudly, rolling after her and pining her down as he started to attack her face with childish kisses.

"Teddy! Stop!" Rose struggled out between laughs, giggling like crazy as she gave in. "Teddy! That's enough!"

"Never!"

end of flashback

As the memory stopped Theo slumped against her slightly, his forehead moving on her own as tears he hated himself for came down. Rose grasped at his face, her own eyes filled with water.

Her brain screamed to pull away, leave him there alone and stay back until she stopped loving him.

Walburga's voice spoke in her mind, mocking Rose and reminding her love was a sickness. Telling her Theo would never be her own.

Their lips brushed as his hands grew tighter—desperate to hold her there forever.

And the world melted to ash as she purposely ghosted her lips over his again, recalling how nothing would ever feel as right as when they kissed. Something both had been yearning for since it happened.

The tension was unbreakable, her staying against that column and holding him there because maybe she couldn't bring herself to kiss him but she could live in a fantasy world for a few more seconds if—

"Rose?" Came the voice of Mattheo Riddle, both jumping apart and Theo turning toward the sky to wipe his face off.

There stood Mattheo, a mixture of hurt and confusion on his face.

"Figures" he scoffs before rushing down the steps, the sound echoing.

That's when reality seeped in for Rose.

She shouldn't be here with Theo.

She shouldn't be crying.

She shouldn't be connecting to Theo.

Rose needed to isolate herself as Walburga wanted and more than anything—she knew there was no way to let any of the boys in right now. Her brain planned to fully push them all away, so that's what she'd do.

"I have to go Theo."

_________________________________

A/N: omg omg I'm so happy this chapter is over because I hated it just as much as the last 😵‍💫😵‍💫

—so little change being made...one of the boys are going to be bi...place ur bets

—ok so these chapters are going to be coming out super quick because I miss *** and need him back rn.

—NEXT CHAPTER IS SO ANGSTYYYY

—someone help me learn how to make short chapters this book is already SO LONG

—thank u all for the support, I feel like I've been writing this for so long and it's so much fun talking to everyone <3

no memes because i have to go to the store now lol

xx bri