Cloud Nine Reviews
Title of Story: He was Here

Title: The words used are not the most imaginative, but it's subtly striking and the title no matter how simple does say something right away. It speaks of loss in forms you do not yet know unless you read it.

dilagmakata tip #12: This is not an absolute must but adding suspense to titles can be a great way to lure readers into clicking on your book.

This is a yes in titles because to readers this could mean death, a break-up, time travel or maybe something so out of the blue and paranormal.

Cover: For color, I like how you chose to go with a nude shade. It's delicate and not an overwhelming cover to look at. The image is relevant as well looking all ghostly. What I do think still has potential to be improved is the main title text and subtitle text.

This is again always optional, but if you wish to make a more captivating cover: contrast. Like I've mentioned in previous reviews, if you're looking for failproof ways to put text on a cover it's always a good idea to end cover and text on contrasting notes. Black on white, dark on light and vice versa.

You may try playing with fonts if you like. Text for both title and subtitles could use some resizing too.

Blurb: This is concise and somewhat suspenseful which is also positively written. You may insert space after the first two lines for better readability. Best, I think it can be lengthened quite a bit, but not to the point of spoiling the remaining plot. Maybe try to add a little more background if you wish.

Grammar: The grammar is good to go and is not an eyesore at all. Excellent. Do still keep an eye out for errors as you go along. You may have made some dialogue tags uppercase when they should have been lowercase.

You may read the grammar portion of my previous review for an example on this.

Plot: I like the beginning and how the relationship of the protagonist is portrayed. Their personalities came together beautifully through their actions. Dialogue was consistent for the first few chapters.

Points I had in my head for plot were driven on how the endings were nicely written, but they were not so much as cliffhangers and that the chapters were considerably short. Perhaps you could lay out a few to help keep the suspenseful aura going.

Also, I didn't know if this was a glitch but there seems to be no second chapter. If it is currently under editing though, not a problem I'll read it as it is put back.

Overall, the plot seems to build slowly, nevertheless, the story still comes into view as the chapters progress. Conclusively, let's still try incorporating more description and giving further depth to your story.

Well, that's it for my short, blissful, and honest review on He was Here. Don't forget to follow rule #3. And once again, thank you so much for allowing me to review your work!

"People come and go, but love always remains. Sometimes beautiful, sometimes a beautiful ache, but love always remains."
-Jm Storm

love always,
dilagmakata