59. take a breath

QUINN

     'HEY, EARLIER, WERE YOU WATCHING US?' Rick asked Gabriel.

She frowned upon hearing his question. It appeared as though their leader had seen something that had gotten him worried enough to ask a stranger about it.

'I keep to myself,' the priest answered, 'nowadays people are just as dangerous as the dead, don't you think?'

'Nah,' Daryl said instantly, 'people are worse.' And the blue bruise around his eye suddenly seemed to stand out even more.

'Well, I wasn't watching you,' Gabriel told them as he kept on walking through the forest, leading them towards his church. 'I haven't been beyond the stream near my church more than a few times since it all started. That was the furthest I've gone before today.'

Quinn shared a small glare with her brother and knew he was thinking the same thing. It was a miracle the priest had survived this long without having to kill any walkers.

'Or maybe I'm lying,' Gabriel suddenly spoke up, making Quinn look away from her brother and towards the priest, her hands tightening around the hilt of her dagger. 'Maybe I'm lying about everything and there's no church ahead at all. Maybe I'm leading you into a trap so I can steal all your squirrels.' He chuckled in himself as he ended his story but as he turned to look at Rick, who stared at him with his blue eyes cold as ice, the smile quickly faded off his features.

'Members of my flock had often told me that my sense of humor leaves much to be desired,' he spoke dryly, his eyes darting restless between Rick and Daryl who were both staring him down.

'Yeah it does,' Daryl told him.

Rick didn't say anything and simply gestured for the man to keep walking which he quickly did. He led them over a small path which soon branched out into a clearing with a white church in the middle of it. The building was so randomly placed in the middle of the woods that it almost felt like the original owner knew it would provide shelter in the apocalypse one day.

Gabriel walked up to the door, taking a key out of his pocket, ready to open the door but Rick stopped him. 'Hold up. Can we take a look around first?' He walked up the stairs to stand next to the priest and held out his hand to recieve the key. 'We just wanna hold on to our squirrels.'

The priest handed him the key without a word and Rick opened the door, gesturing for everyone to follow him inside. Quinn watched as Michonne, Daryl, Carol and Glenn followed him. She took out her daggers from her belt and kept her gaze focused on the treeline surrounding the church, standing guard in case a walker would stumble by.

'We're gonna check the back,' Abraham spoke up and walked around the church, followed by Rosita.

Quinn threw a glare at Milo, who had his gun in his hand as he stared through the trees as well. 'Never thought we'd end up seeking shelter in a church,' she said, making her brother chuckle slightly.

Minutes went by and finally both groups came back. 'I spent months here without stepping out the front door,' Gabriel spoke up. 'If you found someone inside, well, it would've been surprising.'

'Thanks for this,' Carl said, flashing a small smile to the priest before turning his gaze back to the church.

'We found a short bus out back,' Abraham said. 'It don't run, but I bet we could fix that in less than a day or two. Father here says he doesn't want it. Looks like we found ourselves some transport.'

Rick didn't respond right away, his gaze turned to Carl who was holding Judith.

'You understand what's at stake here, right?' Abraham questioned.

'Yes, I do,' Rick replied sharply, as if annoyed the man would question him.

'Now that we can take a breath-' Michonne started but was interrupted by the ginger. 'We take a breath, we slow down, shit inevitably goes down.'

'We need supplies,' Michonne told him, a deadly scowl on her face, 'no matter what we do next.'

'That's right,' Rick agreed, 'water, food, ammunition.' Then he turned around and walked inside the church.

'Short bus ain't goin' nowhere,' Daryl spoke up, looking at Abraham. 'I'll bring you back some baked beans.' And then he walked inside as well.

Quinn put her daggers back behind her belt and climbed the stairs to the front door, entering the church, a small sigh of relief escaped her lips. Finally some shade. It wasn't much cooler inside but it was enough of a difference to feel it.

She walked up to the front where everyone else was already settling down and took a seat on the uncomfortable wooden chairs, allowing her feet a moment of rest.

'How did you survive here for so long?' Rick questioned Gabriel as he walked up to him, holding Judith in his arms. 'Where'd you get your supplies?'

'Luck,' the priest responded, 'our annual canned food drive. Things fell apart right after we finished it. It was just me. The food lasted a long time, and then I started scavenging. I've cleaned out every place nearby. Except for one.'

'What kept you from it?' Rick asked, handing over Judith to Carl and taking his gun back in his hands instead.

'It's overrun,' the priest said.

'How many?'

'A dozen or so, maybe more.'

The group shared a glare, knowing that wouldn't be a problem after everything they went through. She was more than ready to eat some real food instead of chewing on nuts and leaves.

'We can handle a dozen,' Rick stated.

'Bob and I'll go with you,' Sasha joined the conversation. 'Tyreese should stay here, help keep Judith safe.'

'That'll be okay?' Rick asked the man.

'Sure,' Tyreese replied. 'You ever need me to watch her, need anything for her, I'm right here.'

'I'm grateful for it,' Rick said, walking up to the man. 'And everything else.'

'I'll draw you a map,' Gabriel said.

'You don't need to,' their leader spoke sharply before the priest could move. 'You're coming with us.'

It took a moment for those words to truly reach the man as he seemed to search for words. 'I-I'm not gonna be of any help. You saw me. I'm no good around those things.'

'You're coming with us,' Rick said once again and the tone in his voice was enough to stop the priest from trying to object and so he just nodded.

The plastic jerrycans were heavy in her hand while walking down the road back to the church. The sun was beating down on her, burning her skin but she paid it no attention, feeling too blissfully calm and happy to be bothered by the heat. Of course, Daryl had to open his mouth and ruin the perfect moment of silence.

'Hey, I get it,' he said, looking at Carol who was walking next to him. 'You don't wanna talk about it.'

She frowned slightly but didn't say a word, instead waiting for him to continue.

'You okay?' He asked his friend.

'Gotta be,' Carol simply replied but by seeing the heavy guilt that lay hidden in her eyes, Quinn knew she wouldn't be okay for a long time.

'We get to start over,' Daryl went on, 'all of us, with each other. You saved us, all by yerself.'

'We got lucky,' Carol said, 'we all should be dead.'

Quinn nodded. 'Yeah, but we're not. We found each other, we have the chance to make that mean something.'

Silence fell between the three of them as they continued down the road. Quinn didn't believe in destiny or some bigger power that steered everything but them being reunited again was some sort of miracle that she would not take for granted.

'I'll check it,' Carol spoke, making Quinn look up from the ground and see an abandoned car standing parked on the side of the road. The woman fastened her pace, reaching the car first and opening the door to see if it was still working.

Quinn frowned slightly, wondering what Carol wanted with a car that was working. They wouldn't fit in there with the entire group and with just one car they wouldn't get very far. Carol climbed back outside and opened the trunk, checking for useful things and Quinn swallowed her question, knowing she most likely wouldn't get an answer anyway.

'Hey,' Daryl spoke up, taking Carol's attention. 'We ain't dead. And whatever happened, happened.' He fell silent for a second, as if doubting what to say next but when he spoke he seemed to believe his words. 'Let's start over.'

'I want to,' Carol replied, making Quinn feel like she was missing something.

'You can,' Daryl told her.

Carol stared at him for a second before turning back to the trunk and closing it. 'We should leave this here for backup in case things go south at the church.'

Quinn simply nodded before turning around and continuing her way down the road, hearing the footsteps of the two other's behind her. Whatever was going with Carol, Daryl clearly believed she deserved some sort of chance to start over and so Quinn wouldn't question it. She trusted Daryl and so she would trust his judgement as well.

The sun had started to go down by the time they reached the church again, covering everything in a deep warm orange color. The other groups were already back, having prepared a meal from the cans they had found in the spot Gabriel had told them about. She felt her stomach rumbling by the very smell of food and it was only then that she realised it had been a long time since she had a good meal.

Laughter sounded through the church as everyone got some food and settled down on the benches and the ground. Quinn found herself sitting next to Milo, leaning back against the uncomfortable wood of the church benches, though the fact that she could safely sit made it slightly more comfortable.

She had refused to drink the wine that Gabriel had left in the church, not wanting the alcohol to dull her senses, instead she was enjoying the wonderful canned beans in tomato saus. Nothing had ever tasted so good before.

Looking around the room, seeing everyone together, made her both happy and sad at the same time. It made her miss those who were no longer here, but she knew they would want them to be happy and not think about what they'd lost on an evening like this one.

'I'd like to propose a toast,' Abraham suddenly called out over the chatter and laughter, slowly making all the noise die down. 'I look around this room and I see survivors. Each and every one of you has earned that title.'

Quinn looked at Milo, who had a small smile on his lips as he listened to the soldier his words and it made her smile as well.

'To the survivors!' Abraham called out, raising his glass.

'Survivors!' A few called out, raising their drinks as well and Tyreese applauded, joined in by Milo.

'Is that all you wanna be?' Abraham continued, making Quinn shift uneasily in her seat as a long silence fell. 'Wake up in the morning, fight the undead pricks, forage for food, go to sleep at night with two eyes open, rinse and repeat?' He questioned, looking around. ' 'Cause you can do that. I mean, you got the strength, you got the skill. Thing is, for you people, for what you can do, that's just surrender. Now we get Eugene to Washington and he will make the dead die and the living will have this world again. And that is not a bad takeaway for a little road trip.'

He let a silence fall for everyone to consider his words before turning to his friend. 'Eugene, what's in D.C?'

The scientist cleared his throat. 'Infrastructure constructed to withstand pandemics even of this fubar magnitude. That means food, fuel, refuge. Restart.'

A small smile appeared on Abraham's face. 'However this plays out, however long it takes for the reset button to kick in, you can be safe there. Safer than you've been since this whole thing started. Come with us.' He turned to look at Rick, who had Judith on his lap, the little thing curled up against his chest. 'Save the world for that little one,' Abraham spoke, 'save it for yourselves. Save it for the people out there who got nothing left to do except survive.'

Another silence fell and Quinn turned to look at Milo, who had been nodding along with Abraham's speech. Her brother was a believer, a dreamer, a world-builder. He would go with them to Washington, she knew without a doubt he would. She just wasn't so sure if she would...

A new world wouldn't need her. It would need farmers like Maggie, peace makers like Milo, warriors like Daryl and Michonne...Leaders like Rick.

Sure, she had learned a lot since this all started and she was certainly more capable of taking care of herself than at the start. But what could she truly do that was of any importance? Did the new world truly need someone like her?

Rick chuckled, breaking her chain of thoughts and making her turn to look at him. He was staring at Judith who cooed merrily. 'What's that?' He asked, earning a few laughs from the group. 'I think she knows what I'm about to say,' he spoke, looking at Abraham. 'She's in. If she's in, I'm in.' He nodded, smiling. 'We're in.'

'Yeah!' Milo called and applauded once again, making a few clap with him and laugh along. The choice had been made, the course set and she would go along, of course she would. She just had to figure out if she deserved living in this new world along the way.

'I'm gonna get me some more beans,' Milo said while the room came back alive and chatter rose again. He stood up, placed his hand Quinn's shoulder, squeezing it slightly and smiled down on her before walking towards the table in the middle of the room.

She took a deep breath as she watched everyone in the church, a smile on her features and a happiness within her that felt almost foreign, a warm fuzzy feeling in her stomach she had never felt before and wouldn't give up for anything in the world.

It was only then she realised someone was missing from the scene around her. Frowning she realised Carol was nowhere in sight. Turning around in her seat she checked again but she simply failed to find her. Letting her eyes go through the room one last time, they crossed with Daryl's piercing blue gaze and she could tell that he realised who she was looking for.

Without having to share a word the two of them got up from their seats. She grabbed her daggers and gun, carefully throwing a look over her shoulder but everyone was too busy with something else to notice her. Quietly she made her way to the door where Daryl was already waiting for her. They managed to open the door and sneak outside without anyone seeing them and slipped away in the dark.

'Can you track in the dark?' Quinn asked him, taking a dagger in her hand.

'Don't have to,' he replied and gestured for her to follow him. And as they made their way through the woods she realised he was walking into the direction of the car they found this afternoon.

His pace was quick and hurried and she had a hard time keeping up. But thinking of Carol made her walk harder. It was strange to walk away from her friends after a woman she hardly knew. But Carol had always been part of their family and she meant the world to Daryl, which was enough reason for Quinn to walk alongside him through the darkness, searching for her.

Finally they reached the road and came to a stop upon seeing the woman standing at the car. She had turned to look at them, probably having heard their footsteps and for a second they just stared at each other.

'What are ya doin'?' Daryl simply asked.

Carol gave the smallest shake of her head, tears glinstering in her eyes. 'I don't know.'

'Come on,' Quinn spoke, her voice barely more than a whisper. 'Let's go back.'

Before they could walk away though the roaring sound of engine cut through the quiet peacefulness of the night. Daryl quickly hid behind the car, Quinn kneeling down beside him as Carol ran over to them and sat down. She narrowed as she looked around the car, her heart beat speeding up when a black car drove by with on its back window...

As soon as it had passed she jumped up, followed by Daryl who opened the door of the car and jumped behind the wheel. Without a doubt Quinn sat down in the passengers seat next to him.

'What are you doing?' Carol questioned.

'They got Beth,' Daryl replied, an anget having awoken in his voice as he started the engine. He didn't have to say another word for Carol to jump inside in the back and with a quick speed Daryl drove into the same direction the other car had gone in.

A car with a white cross on its window.

A U T H O R 'S   N O T E

And so the rescue Beth mission has started! I'm so excited about writing season 5 and everything that's coming. The hospital, Washington, Alexandria. I have so many plans and I hope you guys are just as thrilled to dive in.

Please leave your thoughts in the comments and tell me your predictions about the coming chapters. What will Milo do when he finds out Quinn is gone? What will Quinn do when she learns the real reason Carol was trying to leave? And most importantly...will Quinn be able to safe Beth?

I'd love to hear from you guys!

xXx

UYM