80. a lot to think about

MILO

      'PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF,' HE MUMBLED into Quinn's shoulder, holding her as tightly as he could. He was happy she had been given a job, found purpose in the chaos because it was obvious to anyone with eyes that she was struggling to adapt in their new found home. He just wished it could've been a job inside the walls. Part of him knew it was selfish to wish her skills didn't include painting, building or teaching. She was good out there, a whole better than he was. He should be happy that after all this time she finally found a purpose. Still, being her brother meant he was going to worry no matter what.

She untangled herself from his grasp and flashed him that half annoyed, half teasing smile that he loved so much. 'You know I will,' she replied.

Slowly he nodded. 'Yeah,' he mumbled, trying his hardest to ignore the lingering pit in his stomach. He took in the sight of her once again, he knew every detail of her face and yet he was afraid he would forget the very color of her eyes the moment she walked out of those gates. Before he could form any more words, she had already turned around and headed towards the car.

Aaron was patiently waiting behind the wheel, offering Milo a reassuring smile before starting the engine. His gaze wondered over to Daryl getting on his motorcycle. The hunter felt Milo's gaze burning on his back and threw a glare over his shoulder. Milo must've looked worried because Daryl nodded curtly at him, a silent promise to watch out over his sister. Then he looked forwards and drove out of the opened gate, followed by the dusty red car with Aaron and Quinn inside. Rosita, being given the job of guarding Alexandria's fences, closed the gate behind them, taking them out of sight.

He took a deep breath, gathered all his worries and pushed them away deep into his soul. She was good out there, Daryl and Aaron were with her, she was going to be just fine. Then he turned on his heels and headed towards Deanna's house.

From the very moment the woman told him that her husband Reg had been responsible for putting up the walls, an idea had been brewing in the back of his mind. With Deanna and Maggie taking care of most of the people-related problems of Alexandria, he figured his time was best spend learning everything there was to know about how to keep this place standing. The walls, the solar pannels, the sewers, he was determined to keep it all working. It was too risky to have all this knowledge in possession of one person. Even though the walls seemed unbreachable, nothing was certain these days and Milo wanted to make sure this place was going to last. He wanted to expand, plants seeds, build mills, create a place for people to truly live, for Judith to grow up safely. It was a dream that had been growing inside of him since the very moment he'd come walking through the gates.

He entered the living room of the Monroe residence and spotted Reg sitting on the couch in the living room. Milo walked up to him, offering the man a smile. 'Glad you could make some time for me,' he greeted the man, watching as he turned, smiled and stood up to shake Milo his hand.

'Your request made me curious,' he said, smiling. Then he gestured for Milo to take place next to him on the couch. 'What could an old man like me possibly teach a young fellow like you?'

'A lot, I'm hoping,' Milo replied, a small smile lingering on his lips. Unlike the studying gaze his wife held in her eyes, Reg his eyes sparkled with kindness. Though both seemed to have a warmth to them that Milo was jealous of. How it was possible for people to stay kind hearted, to keep on dreaming in a world that had taken every possibility of doing so, away, was a miracle to him. And maybe that was the reason he had begun dreaming himself, of a better future for his family and every other lost soul that Quinn, Daryl and Aaron might find out there. He wanted to learn how to build again, he wanted to find that part of him that many years ago decided to study politics with a dream to better the world.

He longed to make up for the blood that had painted his hands so horribly red. And the only way he saw to possibily do so, was to make sure this place would become a refuge, a fortified home, safe from the horrors of the outside world.

'What are you hoping for?' Reg questioned, an amused gleam in his eyes.

Milo shifted on the couch, rubbing his hands together. Nerves were flying through his veins and he failed to understand why. Taking a deep breath he decided to take the plunge. 'Deanna told me you put the walls up and I hoping you'd wanna teach me how. I want to learn how to keep this place standing, how to keep it safe.'

For a second Reg studied him, as though trying to read into his very soul. 'You wanna be an architect?' He questioned after a moment of silence.

'If that's what you wanna call it,' Milo replied, not sure he wanted to give his plans such a big name. 'I think it wouldn't hurt if you shared your knowledge with someone.'

A soft chuckle escaped the man his lips and he shifted so he was facing Milo. 'You're a dreamer, Milo?'

'I like to think that maybe,' he took a deep breath, 'maybe I can be one, again.'

Slowly Reg nodded, then reached for a black notebook laying on the table before him. 'First things first,' he said, handing to notebook to Milo. 'Record everything of note. We're at the beginning of this place, you should write it down.'

Milo couldn't keep himself from smiling as he took the black notebook out of the man his hands. 'So, you're going to teach me?' He questioned, raising his eyebrows.

'I have some study books in my office, come by tomorrow morning and we can start,' the man told him, smiling just as brightly as Milo was.

'Thank you,' he told the man, gripping the notebook even tighter. It felt as though his heart had grown three sizes. He was really going to help make this place a home, a place to shelter his family from the horror of the outside world. He honestly couldn't remember the last time he had felt so genuinely hopeful that maybe the future wasn't as cold and gloom as the world would like them to believe.

Footsteps took him out of his thoughts. The two men turned their heads to see Maggie and Deanna enter. There was a man walking behind them that Milo hadn't met yet. There was a worried frown drawn on his forehead and Milo immediately recognized Deanna her business face. Something had happened.

The three took place on the surrounding couches and chairs and the man, introducing himself as Tobin to Milo and Maggie, started his story. Apparently he'd been working on the construction site to gather more steel plates to expand the wall. However, walkers had attacked the place. A woman named Francine had been injured and Milo could feel the guilt radiate off the man when he admitted shamefully how he and his crew had left her behind. But it was Abraham who had stormed forward and saved her life, killing dozen of walkers in the proces. And now Tobin was considering handing the job over to Abraham.

'Sorry to lose you Tobin,' Deanna sighed, 'are you sure?'

'Absolutely,' the man nodded. 'If Abraham had followed my orders she'd be dead.' His voice was heavy from the obvious guilt that he felt towards the situation. Clearly he hadn't handled the situation well, but Milo appreciated the way the man was trying to make up for it. The people of Alexandria had a lot to learn, but at least they were able to admit their mistakes.

'Yeah, well, saving someone's life makes them a hero,' Reg weighed in, 'but it doesn't qualify them to run a construction crew.'

'Well, they're still out there,' Tobin responded, 'still working, the whole team. And he's leading them. Better than I ever could.'

Milo's gaze drifted over to Maggie who had a small smile tugging at her lips and he felt himself mirroring it. Just the thought of Abraham being out there, leading people, made him happier than he could explain. The soldier had been through hell and back, losing the only thing that had given him purpose in the chaos. He had lost the mission.

But now it seemed like he'd been given a new one. A new task to focus on, more people that needed his help. And Milo couldn't imagine anyone better for the job. If anyone could get people to work, make them believe that they were working towards a goal, it was Abraham Ford.

'I guess it's settled then,' Deanna said, standing up from her chair. 'I'll speak to Abraham when he's back and make it official.'

Tobin nodded and mumbled a small "okay" before standing up from the couch as well. 'Thank you, Deanna,' he told the woman. 'And the thing is, I know you won't regret it.' Then he headed towards the door, followed by Reg.

'He's right, you know,' Maggie spoke softly once the door was closed, making Deanna turn to look at her. 'Abraham's more than qualified.'

Deanna chuckled softly. 'I put another one of your people in a position of power. You vouch for them. It's becoming a pattern.' There wasn't really any concern in her voice, it felt more like she was feeling responsible. For the people in Alexandria. And in that moment Milo realised they still had a long way to go before the two groups would become one community.

'We know what we're doing,' Maggie explained, her voice still soft but her words spoken with conviction. 'It's why you wanted us here. It's why Aaron, Quinn and Daryl are out there looking for more people. You wanted a future. You need us for that.'

'We want this place to work out just as much as you do,' Milo weighed in, 'even if some of us don't seem ready to admit it yet.'

'That's right,' Deanna admitted, seeming far away with her thoughts.

'l'll go get back to working on those fields plans,' Maggie said, standing up from her chair.

'l'll help,' Milo said, following her out of the room, realizing the former congress woman needed a moment alone with her thoughts. He was willing to give her all the time she needed to prove that they really wanted to be here. They needed to bere. Living out there was no longer an option and he was willing to do everything he could to make sure it never would be an option again. Failure was not a possibility anymore.

Together with Maggie he made his way down the stairs where they kept the plans for the fields. They gathered everything from the selves. The books, the notes and a map from the area they were using to draw their ideas on.

'You're good at this,' Maggie suddenly spoke, turning to look at Milo.

He placed down the book he'd taken from the shelf on the pile they'd already gathered. 'So are you,' he replied, then smiled softly. 'Your father would be very proud of you.'

A bright smile appeared on her face. 'He'd be proud at you too, you know. There was a reason he asked you to be on the council, back at the prison. He saw something in you.'

Milo nodded, his gaze dropping to the ground as he added softly: 'I wish he could've been here. He would've loved this place.'

Maggie offered him a sad smile, but her eyes held a hopeful spark. 'Yes, yes he would've.' Then she walked over to the table and gathered the books and notes in her hands. 'Let's draw some maps,' she said with a smile.

Grinning at her he took the remaining papers in his hands and made his way back to the stairs. Halfway up though, they could hear the frontdoor opening and voices came drifting from out of the hallway. Maggie held up her hand, stopping Milo in his steps. He frowned at her and she gestured for him to listen. Frowning he focused on the words spoken.

'Gabriel, what is it?' Deanna questioned.

'I need to speak with you,' the priest said, his voice shaking, as though he'd been running for miles. Milo could picture the probably paniced look on his features perfectly. 'Privately.'

'All right, come in,' the woman said. Footsteps sounded and the door was closed.

For a second there was nothing but silence but the priest started talking, his voice quiet and afraid. 'Satan, he disguises himself as the angel of light. I'm afraid that false light is here inside these walls. Your community, you say it's not a paradise, but it is. I'm grateful to be here, I am, but you made a mistake letting the others in.'

Maggie raised her eyebrows at Milo and he stared back at her with an equally as confused look, while his heart raced like a stampede within his chest. They saved the man his life, took care of him, protected him and now he was telling Deanna they were false angels? It just didn't make any sense.

'How so?' Deanna asked him. There wasn't any emotion in her voice that gave away her thoughts to the priest his words.

'Rick, his group, they're not good people. They've done things. They've done unspeakable things,' the priest went on to say and an infinite sadness took a hold of Milo, his hands trembled and he quickly clenched them. Next to him Maggie reached out and placed her hand over his quivering fist but her presence wasn't enough to calm him.

'To make it out there as long as they did,' Deanna replied slowly, 'they must've done things. Rick said as much. They survived. That's what makes them assets.'

'You're wrong,' the priest told her. 'They can't be trusted. They're dangerous. You may believe that they did what they had to do, that they were afraid and so...' He took a shaky breath. 'The day will come, when they'll put their own lives before yours and everyone else's, and they will destroy everything you have here, everything you're working so hard to build.'

Milo could hardly make out the words anymore over the sound of his own heart beating like a warm drum in his chest. 'Why are you just now coming to me with this?' Deanna questioned.

'Satan, he disguises himself as an angel of light. His servant are the false apostles of righteousness.' His got stronger and more convinced as he added: 'They don't deserve this. They don't deserve paradise.'

He bit the inside of this cheeks to prevend himself from screaming, crying, anything at all. He could feel Maggie's grip getting stronger around his fist and only then he realised his nails had made crescent marks into the skin of his hand.

'Thank you, Gabriel,' Deanna said softly. 'I have a lot to think about.'

The sound of the door being opened echoed through the hallway but father Gabriel wasn't done yet. 'I only wish I'd come to you sooner. That I just...I hope it isn't too late.' Then the door closed and the priest left.

It took Milo every bit of strength he possessed to not storm up the stairs, run out that door and hurt that man. Not because he was lying and maybe not even because he went behind their backs but because he was using the truth to sabotage their chance of finding a home. The priest was right, they didn't deserve this, they didn't deserve paradise. And that was exactly why everyone was working their asses off...So they would earn it.

They had indeed done horrible things to survive out there. Things that returned to his nightmares everytime he closed his eyes. Sometimes he even thought he saw red blood painting his hands and he had to force himself to look again, force himself to see his hands were clean. Only they weren't and he knew that. Which was why he was working as hard as he could, not to wipe his hands clean because the murders he had commited could not be undone. But because maybe his hard work could be a new beginning, a chance to earn forgiveness.

But hearing these words were like knives in his heart.

The priest had voiced Milo his worst fears, his darkest nightmares and if Deanna decided to kick them out, because of this, they surely would die. Quinn would die. And none of them would get another shot at making things right.

'Help! Someone I need help!'

Maggie's eyes widened and Milo was immediately wide awake, all his thoughts immediately pushed to the back of his mind. That was Glenn. With fear pulsing like ice cold water though his veins he dropped the papers he'd been holding and raced up the stairs, with Maggie right behind him. He could deal with the words of father Gabriel later because if something happened to any member of the group...He wouldn't know what he'd do but it definitely wasn't going to be pretty.

A U T H O R 'S  N O T E

Hey guys, I'm back!

I'm so excited to get working on this story again, my brain is exploding with ideas and my hands are itching to get words on paper. As you all may have noticed, I changed the lay out of the story and deleted the sequel to put everything in one book. Cracked is no longer, it's all Collapsed now. Why? Because I felt like it. I honestly have no good reason other than I didn't like the way these books were organised and I wanted to give them another kind of aesthetic and vibe, so yeah, hope you guys like this!

Oh and also, the cute little banner you see at the beginning of this chapter is made by the amazing posingposeys Thanks again!

I'm pretty happy with this chapter. I always love writing Milo's perspective though it does make me a little nervous something because part of me thinks you guys only want to see Quinn and Daryl. Sorry if that's how you feel but Milo is just as much a part of this story as Quinn. This is a walking dead fanfic and not just a Daryl love story. I, personally, love Milo to death. He is way too good for this world. It's honestly difficult to write him because he sees the good in people and I definitely don't see the good in the people of Alexandria. Oh how I hated them all in the beginning. I'm kind off more on Quinn's side on this matter. But Milo believes in them. He's honestly just too good for this world. Though what Gabriel said definitely pissed him off and believe me when he's going to find out what Nicholas did...oh boy.

Anyway, I hope you all loved this chapter. I won't be able to update this saturday because I'm going away for the weekend to get a little rest after the stress from my test. It took a lot out of me mentally so going away might be good for me. That means the next update will be next week on wednesday. See ya'll then!

xXx

UYM