' This is an insane world. '

86. first time again

QUINN

     'I KNOW THIS SOUNDS INSANE,' RICK'S VOICE ECHOED through the crater. 'But this is an insane world. We have to come for them before they come for us. It's that simple.'

She had to strain to hear him above the growling and snarling of the enormous herd behind him. The walkers were caught behind the trucks and rocks but that didn't stop the noise from reaching them. Or the smell for that matter. She had tried breathing through her mouth to not choke on the thick smell of rotting flesh, but that only felt like she was inhaling it even more and so she was forced to breathe through her nose anyway.

'This is where it all starts tomorrow,' Rick continued his speech. 'Tobin gets in the truck, opens the exit and we're off. He hops out, catched up with his team at red, staying on the west side of the road. Daryl gets on his bike-' He was interrupted by the sound of an crash. Everyone turned to look at the cliff on the far side of the crater where the rock had begun to crumble. Her breath hitched in her throat as she watched an entire portion of the cliff tumble down to the depths below, crushing part of the herd but not nearly enough. The noise was followed by the loud clattering of one of the trucks tumbling off the edge of the cliff, creating an opening for the walkers to stumble through...straight into the direction of Alexandria.

'Shit,' she muttered beneath her breath. This wasn't supposed to happen.

'It's open!' Rick shouted, losing his calm composure. 'We gotta do this now! Tobin's group get moving, go!'

Everyone rushed to get to their position and in the middle of all the chaos, she searched for only one person. Her eyes found his, but he was too far away to talk to, to speak the words that were on the edge of her tongue. She missed her chance, she waited too long. Her eyes held his, not able to let go. Daryl mouthed something at her and she narrowed against the sunlight, a shiver running down her spine when she realised what it was. "I know".

She nodded curtly at him, a promise that they would speak later about all the things to this day left unsaid between them. He knew it was killing her, it was killing him too...he knew and that was going to have to be enough to live with until this was over.

Finally she turned away from him and ran after her group. She could hear Rick shouting commands and reached for the flare gun in her back pocket. She fired the flares into the sky while running, forcing herself to keep looking forward while doing so. She couldn't risk letting fear freeze her now. The gigantic herd behind her was enough to push her feet to run as fast as she could.

Together with Morgan, Michonne and Rick she ran through the forest until they reached the road blockade they put in place that morning. Her lungs were burning and her black tank top was sticking to her sweating skin. It was way too hot to be running around like this, but it wasn't like they had much of a choice.

They slowed down to a walk, while Rick took out his walkie. 'Glenn, you there yet?'

'Almost,' Glenn replied, 'we'll have it handled before they get here. And we'll meet you at yellow.'

'Copy that,' Rick answered as they got to a halt, staring at the blockade of cars and the big steal plates the walls back home were made of. For a second they just stood there, catching their breath. Until Rick spoke up, voicing what they all had been thinking. 'It'll hold.'

'Well, that's good,' Michonne replied sarcastically. 'You know considering where we're standing.'

No one replied to that as they kept their eyes focused on the wall. A thousand things could go wrong and yet the only thing on her mind was Daryl and his stupid beautiful eyes. If she wasn't going to get her head on straight, she would definitely die. So she would just have to push him out of her thoughts. As if that possible...

'Michonne?' Morgan suddenly questioned, breaking the silence.

'Yeah?' Her best friend replied.

'Back when you were in that place, where I lived, did you take one of my protein bars?' He questioned so out of the blue that Quinn had trouble holding back a laugh.

'No,' Michonne replied, making Quinn raise her eyebrows as words "the mat said welcome" echoed through her mind.

'See, I could have sworn there was one more peanut butter left,' Morgan went on, his attempt to lighten the mood clearly working seeing as even Rick was smiling now.

Michonne clicked her tongue. 'That's how it is, isn't it? You always think there's one more peanut butter left.'

Rick shook his head at their friendly banter and made his way towards the forest to walk around the wall on the road. The three of them followed him, all of them watching the bloccade carefully for any possible weak spots, even though they built it this morning. Still, Quinn couldn't help but feel nervous. The thought of thousand of walkers making their way towards them with only this wall to keep her safe, to keep home safe, was enough to set her on the edge. And it wasn't just that.

Daryl was out there without a wall to keep him safe. He was more than capable to survive, she knew that and kept reminding herself of that fact but the thought of that enormous herd trailing behind him made her sick to her stomach.

The four of them waited in silence and Quinn kept pacing back and forth. Until, finally, the low grumble of a motorcycle was heard, followed by the sound of shuffling footsteps on the asphalt and the groans and moans of the herd. She took a deep breath and looked to Rick. He nodded at the three of them. She then pointed her flare gun up into the sky and fired. The bright flares led the way, steering the walkers into the right direction. Away from Alexandria.

The herd reached the crossroads and were slowly steered unto Redding Road. The wall was shaking under the pressure of the walkers stumbling right into the metal plates. Worry was sweeping through her veins like a thunder storm as she walked back and forth alongside the wall to make sure it was holding. Every point she checked, she could see that it was, in fact holding. She lifted her flare gun once more and fired again, watching the flare dissappear into the clear blue sky.

Time seemed to slow down as the herd stumbled passed. It felt like forever for every corpse to walk by and each time they bumped against the she feared it would crumble like a house of cards. But as it turned out, her worry was not necessary because even when the whole herd had passed and the rumbling sound of Daryl's bike had disappeared in the distance, by the wall still stood tall.

'We need to get to yellow,' Rick said, nodding into the direction of the road.

Quickly they ran after the herd, crossed the road and sought cover beneath the trees. Being as silent as possible they walked alongside the walkers, making sure every one of them kept following Sasha, Abraham and Daryl. For the first time she was glad for the hunting lessons Daryl had given her. In times like these it was useful to know how to walk silently among the many leaves and sticks that lay scattered on the ground.

A soft whistle came from their left and she turned around to see Glenn, Heath and Nicholas had arrived. The group was complete, watching from their hidden positions as the walkers stumbled passed the yellow balloons, heading towards green and then far away from Alexandria.

'It's working,' Carter muttered, looking at Rick. He seemed genuinely surprised, like Rick hadn't promised this very result the entire time. 'You were right,' he said and then held out his hand.

Rick looked at him for a second before shaking it, accepting the man his apology. Then he turned to look at the group. 'Everyone, we need to finish this. We have to keep moving and fan out down that thing. Front to back. Like we said, cops at a parade. Glenn, you take the back. You got the other walkie.'

'Got it,' Glenn nodded.

'If they get sloppy, we fire our weapons, pull 'em back on track,' Rick concluded.

'I'll hit the front,' Carter offered and started to run towards the front of the herd.

'Okay,' Rick nodded. 'One after the other.' He told them, then headed after Carter.

The group split up, heading to their different positions to make sure the walkers would not stray away from the rest. She, Morgan and Michonne headed after Rick and Carter. They held a distance between the three or them, just like Rick had ordered them to. If they were spread out they could cover more ground and react faster if some walkers would stumble into the woods.

The growls and snarls of the herd were hurting her ears and made it difficult to think. Luckily she'd gotten used to the smell by now, so that was at least one last thing less that could distract her. Still, all she wished for was for this whole thing to be over soon. Only when all of them were back inside the walls of Alexandria would she be calm again.

Once they were back, she would talk to Daryl. She promised both him and herself that she would speak up about the hurricane of emotions weighing down on her. When the herd unexpectedly broke lose, there'd been one tiny second that she feared her chance was gone, that they would die without her ever admitting to him that he was so much more than just a friend. It was the worst pain she ever felt, indescribable pain that threatened to overwhelm her. She never wanted to feel it again and so the only option she was left with was to tell him how she felt. Though, she might had to take some time to think about what exactly she was going to say.

How did she tell him that his very presence was enough to make her feel like she was home? How did she say that looking into his eyes felt like gazing at the stars and wondering what they had planned for you? Or that without him, her heart ached like it was missing a part of her very own body. How did she tell him that meeting him, becoming friends with him, fighting alongside him was the one thing in her life that she did not regret?

Quinn Morales had no words to describe Daryl Dixon. All she knew was that she had to try.

A scream of pure agony broke through her thoughts and made her heart race in her chest. She sprinted forwards through the forest, panic sweeping through her when she noticed walkers at the front of the herd were drawn to the sound, stumbling into the forest. She pushed herself to run faster, her eyes searching for the source of the sound and when she found it, she stumbled to a halt next to Morgan and Michonne, who had already arrived at the scene.

Carter was on the ground, a gaping bite in the middle of his cheek. Blood came oozing out of wind, covering his entire face. And all the while he screamed, like a pig brought to the slaughterhouse. His eyes were wide with fear as he held Rick's arm in a tight grip. Their leader sat on the ground next to the man and tried to get him to shut up, while at the same time getting his knife. Carter gave one last scream before Rick pushed the blade into his brain, putting the man out of his misery. As soon as the sounds stopped the walkers turned around, drawn back to the street by the growls of the herd.

'What was that screaming?' Tobin asked through the radio.

'That was Carter,' Rick replied, 'he got bit, right in the face. I stopped him.' Rick stood from the ground and walked over to where Carter had dropped his gun. He hung the strap over his shoulders, then turned to the three of them. 'We have a good hour until we have 'em to green and then we hand them off to Daryl, Abraham and Sasha.' He looked at Morgan. 'Why don't you head back, tell everyone what's happening. They should know.'

'Okay,' Morgan nodded. 'But, Rick, I just-'

'Will you do that for me?' Rick interrupted him, clearly not feeling like having a discussion with his old friend right now.

Morgan just nodded, turning his gaze away from the man.

Rick then pointed to something behind them. 'I'll take care of that one. Michonne, you take point.' Then he walked up to the walker that came stumbling through the woods behind them.

'I know it's how it is,' Morgan spoke, staring at Carter's body. 'I do.'

'Yeah,' Michonne simply said. 'I do too.'

Quinn threw a look over her shoulder at Rick, killing the walker with ease and she sighed. Her brother was right. Rick was growing cold and even though he was doing what had to be done, he had to be real careful that he wouldn't fall over the edge like he did at Terminus. She turned back forwards and followed Michonne as they walked along the herd. The scary thing was that it wasn't just Rick who'd grown cold, she too had become colder with every trial the world threw at them. It had never scared her before like it did now. At Terminus she felt so guilty about killing that man, despite the horrible things he was planning to do to her. But now, when she thought about it, she felt nothing but indifference. She hardly cared that she killed him. It was done out of self defense. And before, when Aaron asked her if she still believed there was good in the world, she had wanted to say no.

Finding Morgan had changed something. Like a spark had come alive in her chest. She just needed something to get the fire blazing. Which brought her mind right back to Daryl. Maybe she could find peace, real peace, if she were to tell him how she felt. Maybe finding peace wasn't just about not killing anymore, not being out here all the time. Maybe it was about rebuilding her life, trying to find everything she could've had before the world had ended. And the longer she thought about it, the more she believed it. Which really left her with no other choice than to tell him. She would just have to swallow her fear to be rejected, swallow her fear to lose him.

Her eyes went to the front of the herd but from here she couldn't see him riding his bike. She could hear the engine, though, right above the snarling and moaning from the herd she could hear the low humming. Somehow it worked calming, to know he was still at the front, leading the herd away from their home.

Suddenly an awfully loud sound of a horn ripped the sky apart. Panic flared up inside her stomach like a vulcano eruption. She turned into the direction of the sound, eyes wide with panic when she realised it seemed to be coming from home. It didn't stop, just kept on blaring and ripping her ears apart.

She was brought back to reality when Michonne grabbed her arm and pulled her along through the forest. The back half of the herd came stumbling into the woods, following the sound and they were right in their way. The two of them came to a halt when they found Rick.

'Whatever that is, it's far,' Michonne said, her voice calm but her eyes betrayed the storm within her. 'It sounds like it's coming from...'

'Home,' Rick voiced her thoughts.

The growls of the walkers grew louder and she didn't have to turn around to know they were getting closer. And so the three of them started running again, toward the others. All the while the horn kept on blaring, without so much as a pause. Glenn and his group appeared from behind the trees on their right and together they ran from the approaching herd behind them. Her head was spinning from all the thoughts raging around about what could be happening back home. She had to remind herself to keep breathing as her feet carried her through the forest. Behind her she could hear Rick talking through the radio with Tobin's group.

'It's not stopping, light it up, you hear me?'

The only answer was static.

A walker approached from their right and while running, Michonne cut it down. They couldn't stop, they had to stay ahead of the herd and make it back home before the walkers would get there. Or else they'd be locked outside the walls with flesh eating corpses.

'Rick?' Daryl's voice came over the radio and her heart jumped in her chest. 'What's going on back there?'

'Half of them broke off,' Rick replied, 'they're going toward Alexandria.'

'Towards you?' Abraham asked, even though he probably knew the answer.

'We ran ahead,' Rick answered. 'There's a horn or something, loud, coming from the east. It's not stopping.'

'I'm gonna gas it up, turn back,' Daryl said.

'We have it, keep going,' Rick told him.

'They're gonna need our help,' Daryl countered.

'Gotta keep the herd moving,' Rick all but screamed in the radio.

'Not if shit's going down we don't.'

'The rest of that herd turns around, the bad back there gets worse,' Rick tried to explain. This time no answer came and she turned to look at him with wide eyes. 'Daryl?' Rick called his name.

'Yeah, I heard ya,' the redneck replied, though he didn't sound like he agreed with his friend. Quinn knew he was probably fighting the urge to turn his bike around at this very second because that's who he was, always wanting to fight for others. But that wasn't his job at the moment. He had to keep that herd moving or else they'd have a much bigger problem on their hands.

It took every bit of strength she had not to rip that radio out of Rick's grasp and tell Daryl right here and right now how she felt. She was starting to get the feeling she might never get a chance to otherwise. But she had a job to stick to as well and so she kept running, with the never ending sound of the horn blaring still screaming like an alarm in the sky.

One of the Alexandrians tripped on her right and fell down on the ground. Glenn was at her side in an instant and helped her back up. 'It's my ankle,' she hissed in pain.'

'All right,' Glenn said and swung her arm around his shoulder, helping her run. 'Come on, let's go.' He helped her as the group kept moving forwards again, away from the herd that was somewhere in the woods behind them.

'It's coming from back home,' Heath spoke, making her turn around again. 'It has to be.'

'He did this,' a male Alexandrian spat. 'He brought us all out here to die.'

She didn't have to ask who he meant and the fact that one of them, once again, was blaming Rick while all he ever wanted to do was saving their asses, was slowly but surely filling her with rage.

'He killed Carter,' the man went on.

'Carter was already dead,' Michonne hissed, her voice dangerously low.

'Now they're in trouble back there and we're done,' the man went on as if he didn't even hear her. 'We're good as dead.'

'Hey, calm down,' Michonne tried to reason with him and Quinn respected her for not hitting him in the face already.

'What the hell are you talking about?' The man snapped. 'We are done and it's 'cause of him!'

'Shut up and move!' Her ordered, slowly losing her patience. 'Come on.'

Heath looked like he wanted to add something to the situation but Michonne's death glare made him quickly shut his mouth as he ran back towards the group ahead of them.

'One of them blames him again and I'll kill them,' Michonne mumbled under her breath.

'I'll help you bury the body,' Quinn added, sending her friend a small smile. The best she could muster in a situation like this.

Michonne shook her head with a small smirk lingering in the corner of her lips as the two friends got moving again. They ran up a hill where Rick gathered them all. 'All right, listen up, here's the new plan. I go back, bet the RV, circle around the woods on Redding. I'll get in front of them before they get here. I can lead them away.'

Milo's words flashed through her mind and she took a step forwards. 'The RV is a mile back, I'll go with you.'

'I'll handle it,' Rick replied.

She shook her head at him. 'This isn't up for discussion.'

He sighed. 'Fine, the rest of you get home. They might need you there. Glenn, Michonne, Quinn,' he gestured for them to follow him. They walked away from the group and she raised her eyebrows at him, expectantly. 'If something's in front of you, you kill it. No hiding, no waiting, you keep going. The thing is they aren't all gonna make it.'

'Rick,' Michonne frowned at him, clearly not wanting to have that discussion now.

'You try to save them,' Rick said, 'you try but they can't keep up, you keep going.' He looked the three of them in the eye, wanting to make his point. 'You have to. You make sure you get back.'

Silence fell between the four of them, the weight of his words hanging like a fog in the air. His thoughts were loud and clear. These people aren't our people and so we don't care if they live or die. She used to think so too but now she wasn't so sure anymore.

A startled scream came from the group of Alexandrians and the four of them immediately turned and ran toward them.

The man who was just accusing Rick was laying on the ground with a walker on top of him. Rick reached him first and pulled the corpse away, pushing his knife into the corpse its skull. Quinn turned to look at the man, his throat had been ripped open, blood was spilling like a waterfall down his clothes. The rest of the group arrived, staring with wide eyes at their dying friend. It was Michonne who stepped up and pushed her katana through the man his head, killing him for good and just when she pulled the blade back out, the horn stopped blaring.

The sudden silence was almost eerie.

'Get back safe,' Rick spoke and even though he was looking at the entire group, Quinn knew his words were only meant for the three of them. Then he turned and headed into the direction of the RV.

She looked at Michonne and Glenn. 'I'll keep an eye on him,' she promised, earning a nod from Michonne and a reassuring smile from Glenn. Then she turned to walk after him, her heart heavy in her chest.

A U T H O R 'S  N O T E

So, I changed the lay out again, oops. From now on all the chapters that look like this have been edited or rewritten but if you still come across some grammer mistakes, feel free to point them out! I'm here to write and learn :)

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Quinn finally made the decision to talk to Daryl! Of course now it's all going to be a little more difficult with the herd breaking loose but oh well, guess we'll just have to wait and see what their reunion is going to look like. Or, well, you guys have to wait I already know what's going to happen *wink wink*.

If you're curious, stay tuned for the next chapter which will be published next wednesday! Thank you all so much for your support, your votes and comments mean the world to me!

xXx

UYM