' Killing should never be easy. '

87. when the wolves come out

MILO

     HE ENTERED THE HOUSE AS QUIETLY as he could, knowing Judith was probably asleep for her afternoon nap. When he walked into the living room, however, Carl was seated on the couch with his little sister in his arms. The teenager looked up when he heard Milo approach and offered him a smile.

Milo returned the smile and took place on the couch beside him, looking at Carl as he let out a small sigh. 'I know my dad asked you to stay behind to keep an eye on me and Judith,' he said.

'Really?' Milo answered sarcastically. 'Your father worries about you? I never noticed that before.' Carl snickered, making Milo's smile even wider. 'Listen, I know you can take care of yourself. You wouldn't be here if you couldn't, still, that doesn't mean you have to do it alone.' He gave the kid a nudge with his shoulder. 'It's okay to have people look out for you.'

Carl nodded, shifting Judith on his lap so she was more comfortable.

'So, why isn't the little asskicker in bed yet?' Milo questioned, staring at the little girl as she played with her own fingers, seeming very fascinated with them.

'She wouldn't sleep,' Carl replied, looking down at his little sister as well. 'I think she can sense that dad isn't here. Is that weird to think?'

He leaned back into the couch and shook his head. 'No, no it's not weird. I always believed kids can feel more than we can explain.' He studied the little girl and laughed when she blew a bubble of her own spit, only to have it break and spill all over Carl's shirt.

The teenager groaned and Milo leaned forwards again. 'Here, I can hold her while you clean that up.' Carl handed him his little sister and stood up to get a towel. Milo held her small body in his hands, turning her so she was looking at him. Her big brown eyes were staring at him with so much wonder and excitment that he could feel his heart melting. Judith giggled and reached out, tapping his nose with her little fingers, making him laugh once again. 'So, you don't wanna sleep, huh?' He whispered to the little girl. 'Now what are we supposed to do about that?'

'I could take her for a walk,' Carl offered, walking back towards the couch. 'Beth told me that usually works with little kids.'

Milo nodded, then carefully handed the baby girl back to her big brother. He stood up from the couch and walked to the hallway to get the stroller. Carl placed Judith in it, strapping her in tightly. She was giggling all the while and didn't seem tired at all, but Milo was confident that Beth knew a lot more about kids than he did so maybe a walk would work.

The three of them left the house and once they were on the street, Milo placed his hand on Carl's shoulder to get his attention. 'I have to meet up with Maggie and Deanna. If she becomes too much to handle just come look for me, okay?'

'We'll be fine,' Carl promised him.

He smiled at the teenager. 'I know.' He squeezed the kid's shoulder before turning around to walk towards the gate. Today Maggie wanted to start working on the fields outside the gate. Deanna had marked them in her plans, wanting them to be used to plant vegetables, wheat and other things. The construction crew was supposed to set up the walls around the field once the problem of the herd was taken care of. Deanna had been locked in a state of grief ever since Reg died and Milo knew this was Maggie's way of trying to pull her out of it, he just hoped it would work. He and Maggie weren't enough to hold this place together without Rick. They needed Deanna because the people listened to her, trusted her. And no matter how badly he wanted the people of Alexandria to put their trust in Rick, they just weren't ready to do so yet.

After a quick stop by the armory to get a gun and his beloved axe, he headed out to meet Maggie and Deanna. They were already waiting for him with shovels in their hands. Maggie offered him a soft smile that meant so much more than a simple hello. She knew the significance of getting Deanna back on her feet. Today was about much more than just planting some seeds.

'We got some panels to put up,' Maggie said, nodding at the beams that were already standing in place to put up a wall. 'But that doesn't mean we have to wait to start growing things. There will be some sore backs and tired feet. That's how you know you've put in a hard day's work.'

'Seems like all we do is put up walls,' Milo added with a smile. His hands instantly started aching again from all the shovelling he did this morning. His remark awoke a tiny smile on Deanna's face, which was a small victory considering how sad she'd been these past few days.

Maggie reached in her pocket and took out a little bag filled with seeds. 'They found crates of these at a nursery just a few miles out. Tomatoes, carrots, you name it. We can plant them right here.'

Milo nodded. 'We just need to finish the expansion and the walls need to go up.' He took a deep breath, then turned his gaze to Deanna. 'Your husband wanted this community to grow and so did you. Has that changed?'

Deanna didn't seem able to answer that question, staring at the ground in silence instead.

'Everyone's that here, is here because of you,' Maggie added. 'You need to show them you're still here.' Then she reached behind her and grabbed one of the shovels, handing them to the female leader of Alexanderia.

For a second she just stared at the tool but then, finally, reached out and took it in her hands and with a determined nod she started digging. Milo flashed a quick smile at Maggie before joining the woman with his own shovel.

The ground was pretty hard but after a few good strikes, he managed to finally get the start of a small hole. It was actually pretty nice to be doing work that distracted him like this. He didn't have to think about Quinn being out there. Yeah, they were only doing a practice run but he still couldn't shake the feeling that something was about to go horrible wrong. It felt like something was crawling around in his stomach, tearing at his insides to get out. And everytime the feeling resurfaced he tightened his grip on the shovel and dig it deeper into the ground.

It was once again that horrible feeling of not being able to protect his loved ones. They were out there and he was here, planting food. He wanted to be able to just look to the future and not have to worry about the present but it seemed like there was always something he had to worry about. Quinn would probably tell him that since he wasn't able to do something about it anyway, he shouldn't worry. And yet he couldn't ever the shake the feeling of helplessness when his family was out there doing something dangerous.

Just then a scream rang out through the peaceful silence of the community, pained and filled with fear. He looked up from the ground, all his thoughts about being helpess forgotten as he dropped the shovel and reached for his axe and gun.

'Richard!' Deanna yelled at the Alexandrian standing guard on the nearest guard tower. 'What's going on in there?'

The guy, however, never got a chance to respond. A makeshift bomb was thrown at the man, his clothes and flesh catching fire immediately. With a dying scream he stumbled around, tumbling over the edge of the wall and fell down the ground. The smell of burned flesh reached his nose and he tried not to choke on it as he raised his gun and looked around.

Maggie ran forward, disappearing the in the smoke. He screamed her name, running after her in a hurry. In front of him people were jumping up the walls, climbing over them and dropping down on the other side. For a second he just stood and watched, frozen in horror. It was Maggie's scream for him to follow her that snapped him out of his trance. He spun on his heels and raced after her towards the gate. Everytime his feet hit the ground, Carl and Judith's names flashed through his head. Worry for their safety washed over him like a tidal wave. He could only hope Carl had managed to get hold of a weapon and protect his little sister. Milo would never forgive himself if something happened to those two.

With every scream that he heard, his heart started beating louder. The image of the kids their dead bodies was burned inside his mind and he couldn't shake it anymore. With a grunt he pushed himself to run even faster, following Maggie closely. He could hear the shallow breathing of Deanna behind him and he could only be glad that she wasn't standing frozen in fear.

Suddenly there was something else, the loud roaring of an engine. By the sound of it he guessed it was some sort of truck and it took him only a second to realise that they were planning on driving the truck straight through the wall.

'Shit,' he muttered, pushing himself to run even faster.

Gunshots rang out from the guardtower, followed by the sound of a crash and then a horn. It blared through the sky, drowning out all the screams and even his own thoughts. Fear spread like ice through his veins at the thought of their friends out there. Every walker for miles would be able to hear this. What if the herd somehow broke loose, drawn here by the sound.

Gritting his teeth he ran on, trying his hardest to shake all those thoughts from his head as the horn continued to scream into the sky. He needed to focus, get to the kids and make sure they were safe as he handled whatever was going on here.

On his right, the familiar groans of walkers came from the forest surrounding the community, quickly followed by their stumbling footsteps and rotting smell. Four corpses came walking out of the trees, straight towards them. Slowing down his pace, he took his axe firmly in his hand and pushed the weapon through the skull of one of the corpses. While Maggie handled the other two, he stepped towards the forth. One side of its face was almost completely gone, nothing but a few strings of flesh attached to very little bone. Raising his weapon, he brought it down with such force that the skull of the corpse split in two. He cringed, stumbling backwards. The sound of the horn still blaring like it was announcing the end of the world, took him out of his thoughts. He turned away from the walker, his gaze going to Maggie. She nodded curtly at him, letting him know she was fine before she turned around and started running again. He followed swiftly, his heart beating in his throat.

They ran around the corner, the truck coming in sight. It had crashed just besides the guard tower, taking a part of its foundation down but the panel of the wall seemed mostly intact. Spencer was stumbling through the rubble, trying to get the door open.

He sped up and ran ahead of Maggie to meet the man. Just as Spencer opened the door did Milo reach him. Deanna's son stumbled backwards when the driver, now a walker, snarled at him. Milo was about to step inside to kill it when the door was opened from the other side and Morgan climbed inside the truck, killing the walker. Milo didn't waste any time, climbed inside the truck and killed the horn.

'What happened?' Morgan questioned.

Milo shook his head. 'Some group got inside the walls. What are you doing here? Where are the others?'

'The herd broke loose early,' the man said and with his words Milo felt as though his heart was being ripped out of his chest. 'Rick send me ahead to warn you, they're leading them away.'

His gaze went to the dead driver and the fear inside him grew when he realised that the sound of that horn was going to draw the herd here. 'Oh damn,' he muttered. Then shook his head. 'We gotta get inside,' he said, then turned away from the truck and toward Spencer. 'You coming?'

The man didn't reply, instead he just stared ahead of himself, into nothing. His gaze empty and scared. Nodding curtly, Milo placed his hand on Spencer's shoulder. 'Hide,' he suggested, then turned to Maggie and gestured at Deanna and her son. 'Keep them safe,' he said, knowing that normally she wouldn't have agreed to do so but as he had figured out that very morning, she had a very good reason to stay out of danger right now. When only Glenn had volunteerd to go with Rick, it hadn't gone unnoticed by Milo how he'd whispered something to his wife. And with Rick telling Milo to stay and keep an eye on Deanna, there really wasn't a reason for Maggie to do so as well except for the only logical reason he could think of.

And as he stared into her eyes, she seemed to realise that he'd figured it out. He simply winked as a silent congratulation at her pregnancy. Then he turned to join Morgan as they ran toward the gate. The group that had managed to climb over the walls had opened the gate up so their friends could easily enter. With his gun in one hand and his axe in the other he followed Morgan inside. On their right was an Alexandrian on the ground, surrounded by crimson red blood. There was man standing over him, a hammer in his hand as he kept beating the corpse. As soon as he heard their footsteps though, he looked up, his expression crazed and eyes wild. But the thing that stood out most was the red W painted on his forehead. It was blood.

He took a step forwards, pointing his weapon at the two of them. 'Quick?' He questioned. 'Or slow?' His eyes shining with some sort of strange amusement.

'Leave,' Morgan muttered, 'please.'

The man took a stance. 'Gonna be slow,' he said, just when Milo raised his gun and shot him in the head, his body dead before he hit the ground. 

'I could've stopped him,' Morgan spoke, his voice heavy with emotion. Milo could feel Morgan's eyes resting on him but he didn't look back at him, not needing his judgement. He killed people before and he carried every single one of them with him and he would continue do so for the rest of his life. He would never feel easy about killing, remorse and guilt always sweeping through him whenever he pulled the trigger or brought down his axe. He didn't need Morgan judging him when Milo knew exactly how it felt to live with the guilt of taking someone's life. But just because he knew this moment was going to haunt him in his nightmares for the next few weeks, that was not a reason not to kill the man. There were people here he cared about, this was his home and he was more than willing to sacrifice his soul to keep his family safe.

But they weren't in the clear yet as another one of the group came running right at them, only to stop a few feet away. He frowned, watching as the person reached up and pulled down the scarf they were wearing in front of their face. A small sigh of relief left his lips when Carol revealed herself. It was truly a talent how this woman managed to handle every situation she came across.

'Are the others back?' Carol questioned before sitting down at the corpse, placing her fingers in its blood and drawing a W on her forehead, just like the man Milo just killed had.

'No,' Morgan replied, 'it's happening out there.'

'They're doing it now?' She asked, frowning.

'We had to.'

'These people don't have guns,' Carol went on to say, inspecting the corpse for weapons. 'If they had guns they'd be using them.'

'I could've stopped him,' Morgan repeated, staring down at the corpse.

'We have to get to the armory before they do,' Milo said, following her trail of thought.

'Did you hear me?' Morgan asked but Milo ignored him.

'Just tell me one thing first,' he said, 'Carl and Judith? Are they safe?'

Carol nodded, starting to unwrap the chains the man had been wearing around his middle. 'Yeah, they're safe. Carl's got a gun, he's watching over her.'

Hearing those words it felt as though a weight had been lifted from his chest. Now he could focus on Carol's plan and stop these people from destroying their home. 'Alright we need to work fast,' he said, kneeling down and helping her with the chain.

'We don't have to kill people,' Morgan spoke.

A small sigh left Milo's lips as he finally turned his attention to the man. 'Listen, I don't like killing. In fact, I hate it. I've lost count of the amount of times that the people whose lives I've taken came back in my dreams to haunt me. But sometimes, there is no other way.'

Morgan didn't seem like he agreed with that statement but Milo didn't feel like wasting his time right now and so he turned away from the man. There was a job to be done. A desperate scream from their right, however, pulled him out of that thought. Down the street he could see Beth struggling with keeping a man with a huge knife at a distance. 'Get to the armory,' he told Carol and she nodded at him. Quickly he got to his feet, grabbing his weapons while sprinting forwards towards the teenage girl.

His feet carried him over the pavement, he was running so fast it almost felt like he was flying. He reached the two and pointed his gun at the man his head. Before he could pull the trigger however, someone slammed into him. He'd been so focused on Beth he never saw his attacker coming. He was thrown to the ground, the man sitting down on top of him. With a crazed laugh the man brought down his knife. Milo raised his arm, grabbing the man his hand, protecting his chest. His arm was shaking from the pressure it took to keep the knife away from him. With his free hand he was feeling the ground for either one of his weapons he dropped when he fell down. 

'You don't belong here,' the man above him screamed, 'you're all already dead!'

His arm was trembling as he struggled against his attacker, whose eyes shone with the same strange kind of sickness Milo had seen in the other man. This man also had a W on his forehead, thoug this one wasn't drawn with blood. It was a scar. Like someone had drawn on his face with a knife.

'You don't belong here!' The man screamed once again.

'Shut the hell up,' he mumbled through gritted teeth as he struggled with all his might to keep the knife away from him, while still searching the ground for a weapon.

The man laughed, his eyes wide and filled with insanity as he pushed the knife further down. Rage waved through Milo and when his hand finally found the handle of his axe and he slammed the weapon into the man his skull, he did not feel one single ounce of regret.

He threw the corpse away from him and jumped back on his feet, breathing out with relief when he saw Beth had managed to throw her knife through her attacker's eye. She gave him a shaky smile and shrugged slightly. 'Quinn taught me that,' she said, trying her hardest to keep it together. Her lip was trembling and yet she managed to look proud of herself.

He couldn't contain his own laugh, filled with pure relief. He walked forwards, pulling the teenager into a quick hug. 'Come on,' he said, letting go of her and bending down to pick up his gun from the ground. 'We gotta make sure the others are safe.'

Beth nodded, holding her knife tightly. 

Milo stared at her for a second, then held out his gun for her to take. 'I'd feel a lot safer knowing you have that to watch my back,' he said, winking at her, hoping to take away most of her nerves.

Her eyes filled with determination as she took the weapon, holding it like she had been doing so all her life. Then they turned and ran down the street. When they reached one of the houses, Milo stopped, gesturing towards the window. They crouched down behind the deck surrounding the house, waiting as the people inside were done looting the place and ready to come outside. It didn't take long for two men to leave the house, both holding a pillow case filled with stuff in their hands. Beth didn't hesitate to shoot, the bullet finding it's place in the man his forehead.

Before the other could recover, Milo had jumped up from their hiding spot and thrown his axe at the man, the weapon landing right between his eyes. He walked up to the corpses and pulled his axe free, then turned to look at Beth who was staring at her hands they weren't her own.

'Don't worry,' he told her, 'it's got thing that you're still not used to it.'

'Why?' She questioned, her voice trembling.

He smiled reassuringly at her. 'Because killing should never be easy.'

Rushing footsteps came from their right and his eyes snapped away from Beth, toward the approaching danger. But when the footsteps rounded the corner and the faces of Rosita and Aaron appeared, he breathed out slowly, nodding at the two of them. Both were covered in blood but didn't seem to have any major injuries.

'Glad to see you in one piece,' he said, walking towards them with Beth on his heels.

Aaron nodded at him. 'You think we got them all?' He questioned.

'We gotta be sure,' Rosita said, 'come on.'

The four of them made their way down the street, checking every house carefully. They didn't find any more people but stayed alert all the same. They made their way through the entire back of the neighbourhood and finally toward the gate but all they came across were dead people. Most of them were the people who attacked them, but some were Alexandrians. With every person they came across, he felt his guilt about not even knowing all their names grow. These people let them into their home and now he failed to protect them.

As they walked down the main street, they met up with Maggie, Deanna and Spencer. 'They're gone,' Maggie informed them, though she didn't lower their gun. Looking around their small group, her eyes landed on Deanna. 'We're still here,' she spoke.

'Not all of us,' the woman replied.

And while that was true, Milo had finally realised something much more important. No matter where he was, or what he was doing, he would always work on a way to protect his family. Everything he did was for them. And it wasn't helping to lead away the herd, it was by making sure this place had a future. That this place would still be standing when the others returned. And it turned out to be a good thing he was here. He knew, in that moment, he would never have to feel helpless again because everything he did was for his family, to protect them. He would die to protect them, to make sure this place would keep standing. 

That wasn't being helpless, that was the strongest he'd ever been in his whole life. 

A U T H O R 'S  N O T E

Milo Morales: Part time badass, part time dad.

Honestly though, wouldn't he be such a great dad? I just love this man so much and sometimes I can't believe my brain came up with a person this pure and lovable. (Don't worry Quinn, I still love you too).

Anyway, I'm sorry for not updating last week. I was in a really bad place mentally and while I'm still not feeling great, I just wanted to write and escape into the awesome world that is the walking dead! I really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and are looking forwards toward the next one as much as I am! Can I just say...the next chapter is going to have a point of view that we've never seen before in this book! Who do you guys hope or think it is? :)

Please let me know your thoughts in the comments, they honestly mean the world to me! Your support really keeps me going and gives me so much energy to start keep this story going!

I love you all so much,

xXx

UYM