' We ain't afraid. '

88. race against the clock

DARYL

     THE SOUND OF THE HERD BEHIND HIM and the grumbling engine of his bike beneath him was deafening. He'd always prefered the quiet. Nothing but the sound of leaves beneath his feet and the wind rustling the trees. Being alone, out in the woods, had never been something he struggled with. But here he was, riding his bike at the front of a thousand walkers, leading them away from the people who showed him that he didn't have to be alone.

Merle probably would've laughed if he knew his little brother was even thinking this. He'd tell him not to be such a pussy, to go look for where he'd last seen his balls laying around. But even Merle had eventually decided he didn't want to be alone anymore and paid the ultimate price for it.

The end of the world should've hardened the Dixon brothers, instead, it brought out the good in them. A fire that always been there, smoldering in their souls. It just needed a spark to set it ablaze. This group had been that spark. In the beginning he might've feared it and even tried to fight it. But there was one person who had made it impossible for him to keep turning away. After the prison fell he'd been so close to giving it all up, to turn away, disappear into the woods like he was meant to do.

Instead he stayed.

All because she had refused to give up. He had no idea where he'd be right now if Quinn hadn't all but forced him to come along to Terminus. He hated that he could still remember perfectly how her eyes had shone with fierce determination when she told him she was leaving. It was annoying how that picture had kept returning to him in his sleep after that. How she was standing there beneath the dark night sky, the moonlight reflected in her eyes as she stared at him like she was reading into his very soul. It scared him when she looked at him like that, like she knew everything about him and he had nowhere left to hide. He thought he'd get used to it but even after all this time she still scared him in a way no else ever had.

But the very thought that she was out there right now, with a herd on her heels, awoke a beast inside of his chest. It clawed at his heart, roared loudly and slowly drowned out every rational thought in his mind. He hated that no matter how hard he tried, his mind kept on drifting back to her. She was always in a corner of his thoughts, like a ghost haunting him and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get rid of her. She was a scar etched into his skin, always with him, always reminding him that without her he would've lost his way a long time ago.

'Hey,' he shouted at the red car beside him, 'we gone five miles out yet?'

'Give or take some yardage,' Abraham replied, 'you got a reason for asking?'

'Next intersection we gonna spin around and go back,' he replied.

'The plan is to go 15 more,' Sasha told him.

Daryl knew that, could clearly remember Rick's words as they went over why it was so important to create a distance between the herd and Alexandria. But the beast in his chest refused to calm down, roaring loudly in despair at the thought of being trapped ahead of this herd while the others were stumbling around in the forest, running for their lives.

'Yeah, Imma change that,' he shouted back at her above the noise from the walkers behind him. 'Five's gonna have to work.'

'The magic number's 20,' Abraham reminded him. 'That's the mission. That's making sure they're off munching on infirm raccoons the rest of their undead lives instead of any of us.'

'You wanna go we can't stop you,' Sasha said, 'but without you they could stop us.' She gestured at the herd behind them.

For a second his determination wavered, but then his eyes fell on a sign at the side of the road. The picture showed Alexandria and at the very sight of it his decision was made. 'Nah, I got faith in ya,' he replied, then sped up his bike, leaving the herd behind, ignoring their shouts for him to stay.

As he drove down the road, the sound of the herd slowly faded, leaving him with nothing but the rumbling engine of his bike and the sound of a thousand thoughts raging through his skull.

He'd do anything to make sure his family was safe. He decided long ago that he would give his life if need be to keep them all safe. But this, somehow, felt different. He had no way of describing it but the very thought of Quinn ahead of that herd made it hard to breathe. He had to make sure she'd be safe, he had to be able to breathe again, calm the monster inside of his chest.

She terrified him. The very thought of her was enough to rattle his bones and make him want to run and hide. He had no idea why he reacted this way. He had no idea why everytime he laid eyes on her a hurricane seemed to sweep through his bones, thunder scorched his veins and a tidal wave beat against his heart. All his life he tried his hardest to fight any emotion too complicated to put into words but she was impossible to avoid and he hated it.

He hated that he loved it.

Though, that love wasn't enough to drown out his hear. Because the thought of letting go, of letting himself be vulnerable, terrified him more than any walker or herd ever would. He wasn't sure if he'd ever be ready to let his so very carefully crafted wall down.

When the herd broke lose he told her he knew. And he did. Daryl wasn't stupid, he knew the effect he had on her, knew that he made her just as nervous as she made him. He caught her staring more times than he could count. He'd seen the goosebumps on her skin everytime he came close and how she seemed to hold her breath until he left again. The thing was though, that she no longer seemed to be afraid of it. While he was still pertrified. He had no idea what he could do to stop being afraid of feeling this way. Maybe he didn't want to stop being afraid, because that would mean giving in to it, to be weak and vulnerable. The thought alone made it hard to breathe.

The radio he had clipped on his vest crackled and Rick's voice broke through the wind roaring around him, calling out his name. He reached down, pushed the button as he replied. 'I'm here.'

'Won't be long now,' Rick told him. 'They're almost here. Quinn and I'll get them going your way again.'

'How 'bout that, Daryl?' Sasha's voice came through the line. 'They're gonna be coming our way.'

He focused his eyes on the road ahead of him, trying his hardest to ignore the feeling of guilt that came crawling up inside of him when hearing Sasha's accusation.

'There's gunfire coming from back home,' Rick said. His words made the beast inside him roar, as he tightened his grip on his bike, pushing it to drive even faster. 'We gotta sit with it and hope they can handle it. I think they can. They have to. We keep going forward for them. Can't turn back because we're afraid.'

'We ain't afraid,' Abraham said.

'This is for them,' Rick added. 'Going back now before it's done, that'd be for us.'

He wished the wind would drown out Rick's voice so he wouldn't have to listen anymore. Sasha's remark must've made Rick realise he went back. And as always, his friend knew exactly what to say to make him realise he made the wrong choice. He let his emotions get the best of him, like he always did.

'The herd has to be almost here,' Rick concluded.

But still, Daryl did not turn around. He'd face the consequences later, after he made sure they were all okay and he'd done everything he could instead of driving ahead of herd where he was completely useless.

Once again the walkie cracked and he strained to listen for words above the wind surrounding him. His heart skipped a beat when he heard a gunshot instead. 'Rick?' He called out. The only answer that came were more gunshots. 'Rick? Rick!' He repeated but he got no answer and instead was forced to listen to the sounds to fighting.

A scream rang out through the radio, of a voice so familiar that he would recognise it even in death. Cursing he pulled over his bike, parking at the side of the road while the beast inside of him whimpered in fear. 'Quinn?' He called out of her name. Her scream repeated itself in his head like an endless, cruel joke. 'Quinn!'

He hated this, the waiting, the not knowing, the fact that he was feeling so damn helpless.

'Rick?' He tried again, his heart hammering in his chest like a war drum. With a sigh he hung his head, listening carefully for any sounds coming from the other side of the radio. 'Quinn!'

The radio clicked. 'We're okay,' Quinn's voice came from the other side and he let out a breath he hadn't even realised he'd been holding. He looked up, stared at the road ahead of him. Then he started the engine and turned his bike around, back into the direction of Sasha and Abraham.

His family was willing to die to make this work, and so, the least he could do was get his ass back in front of that herd. He'd make sure there wouldn't be any more walkers heading their way, that was his job and he refused to let Quinn distract him from it.

QUINN

HER LUNGS WERE BURNING AS HER FEET CARRIED her over the asphalt road at a high speed. Sweat was crawling down her forehead, arms and back. Every breath she took felt like a flaming knife inside her lungs and yet she kept on running. Rick was at her side, seeming to struggle just as much. Neither of them spoke as they made their way towards the RV, saving their energy to keep on running.

Just then the radio cracked and Rick held up his hand as a gesture for her to slow down. Though right now wasn't a great time considering the four walkers that were seated on the ground ahead of them, chewing on a corpse.

'Rick, it's Glenn,' his voice broke through the static of the radio. It noise captured the attention of the walkers, who abandoned their meal in favor for something more alive. Both Quinn and Rick reached for their weapons while Glenn kept talking. 'We're in a town five degrees east of the green marker. If you get around on Redding in the next 20 minutes, you should be good. I think that's how far we're ahead of the herd.'

The first walker reached them and with a grunt Rick pushed his knife into its skull, bringing it down to the ground. As he pulled his knife out however, it broke, the blade stuck inside the now dead walker its head.

'I'm gonna try and set a fire to distract them,' Glenn spoke while Quinn threw her dagger at the second approaching walker. The blade whizzed through the air, hitting its target straight in the eye, bringing the walker down. 'If you don't see smoke, they're still coming your way.'

Quinn bend down to pull her dagger free and was about to throw it at the third walker when Rick let out a pained grunt on her right. She turned to look at him, her eyes falling on a cut that went straight across his hand. The growl of the walker that was still left snapped her attention away from Rick. She stepped forwards and pushed her dagger through the rotting corpse its skull then pulled it back out with ease. She turned back to look at Rick, finally realising where the cut came from. The walker he killed had a knife sticking out of its chest. He must've failed to see it when he killed it.

'I gotta go,' Glenn spoke. 'Good luck, dumbass.'

She smiled softly, remembering one night at the prison where they were seated around the fire and Glenn told the story of how he met Rick. How he helped him escape from a herd and called him dumbass over the radio for getting trapped there in the first place.

Rick knelt down besides the corpse the walkers had been chewing on and killed its brain with his machete. Then he emptied the man his pockets and stood back up.

'You alright?' She asked, nodding at his hand.

'I will be,' he replied as he got back to his feet. 'We gotta go.'

She nodded and the two of them picked up the pace again. Every step was a struggle, every breath a pain in her chest but she kept going, knowing that stopping would not only get her killed but maybe the entire community as well. They had to stay ahead of the herd if they were hoping to turn it back around and get it to follow Daryl, Abraham and Sasha again.

At the thought of Daryl, her heart tightened painfully in her chest but she took a deep breath and instead focused on putting one foot in front of the other. If she even thought of his face for one second, she'd become nervous again about having to talk to him when this was all over and she could not afford to be nervous right now.

Finally the barricade at Redding came in sight. There was a pile of corpses gathered at this side of the wall. They'd been crushed by the weight of the herd, or just walked straight into the panels. Some were still moving, snarling and stretching out their hands to the approaching humans but neither Quinn or Rick gave them as much as a second glance. They ran into the forest, making their way around the makeshift walls and towards the RV.

Rick reached the door first and opened it, jumping inside. Quinn followed him, closed the door behind her and made her way to the wheel before Rick could. He glared at her and she scoffed.

'Bind that hand,' she said, 'then I'll let you drive.'

The man looked like he wanted to protest but she started the engine before he could. The scowl that appeared on his face looked an awful lot like Carl when he had to do a chore he didn't like but once she started driving he took a seat and ripped part of his blouse apart to bind his hand with. She had never driven anything bigger than her car before and was glad she had the entire road for herself. Driving a RV wasn't as easy as it seemed. She tried her hardest to ignore Rick his pointed glares whenever she swayed a little too much and instead kept her eyes focused on the road before her. They really couldn't use an accident right now.

'What do you think happened back home?' Quinn asked, her voice quiet. As soon as she asked the question she wished she hadn't. She didn't need any images about it in her mind. About her brother laying somewhere on the pavement with his head bashed in. Or little Judith crying in her crib as she watched her brother being murdered. Or Beth crying out for help. A shiver ran down her spine and she blinked a few times to get rid of them.

'Whatever it is, I'm sure they can handle it,' Rick responded, sounding like he truly believed it. Though she knew he was mostly talking about their own people, not the Alexandrians.

'Yeah,' she mumbled, hitting the gas even harder. It didn't make much difference with the old RV but it was the thought that mattered. At least with her feet on the gas, it felt like they were going faster. Lucky for her the roads were completely empty as they made their way around the forest to get in front of her herd. And soon enough Rick told her to pull over. She did as she was told and watched as he took his radio out.

'Glenn, we're in place by my best guess,' he spoke into the radio. 'You guys make it back yet?'

The only answer was crackling static.

'Glenn?' Rick repeated, worry sweeping through his voice, no matter how hard he tried to supress it. She stared at him, her heart seemed to shrink within her chest with every second that passed and no answer came.

'Tobin you there?' Rick tried contacting the other group. Again, no answer came. 'Daryl?' He tried. Her heart was aching now as seconds seemed to stretch out into minutes.

'I'm here,' Daryl finally responded and it took every ounce of strength she had not to sigh in relief.

'Won't be long now,' Rick told him. 'They're almost here. Quinn and I'll get them going your way again.'

'How 'bout that, Daryl?' Sasha's voice came through the line, making Quinn frown. 'They're gonna be coming our way.'

She looked at Rick who gave a small shake of his head, showing he had no idea what was going on either.

The distant sound of gunfire echoed through the air. It seemed to be coming from the same direction the horn came from, home. Whatever was happening there she had believe that they could handle it. Milo was smart, so was Carol. They'd be alright. She had to focus on getting this done so there wouldn't be any more problems to deal with.

'There's gunfire coming from back home,' Rick spoke in the walkie. 'We gotta sit with it and hope they can handle it. I think they can. They have to. We keep going forward for them. Can't turn back because we're afraid.'

'We ain't afraid,' Abraham said.

'This is for them,' Rick added, nodding at Quinn with a determined spark in his eye. 'Going back now before it's done, that'd be for us.'

And it was then when she realised why Sasha had said those things. Rick figured it out as well, which is why he gave this little speech just now. Daryl turned back. She took a deep breath and leaned back in her chair. It made sense, he'd always been bad at sitting still while his family was in danger. All she could do was hope that Rick's words were enough to convince him to turn back.

'The herd has to be almost here,' Rick finished, then put the walkie aside.

She stared at Rick as he carefully removed his makeshift bandage from his hand and started cleaning the cut. Her fingers went to the scar on her own hand, as the memory of Daryl touching her as he stitched up the wound flashed through her mind. Her heart fluttered in her chest at the thought of how close he'd been, how the fire had made shadows dance on his skin. Taking a deep she turned to look out of the front window, wishing he was here right now instead of riding his bike somewhere beyond her reach. She hated being apart from him, not having his presence around to calm her and make her feel like it would all be fine.

She turned to look at Rick again when he turned the walkie on and listened to the sound of static coming from the other side.

'They're gonna be okay,' she muttered softly, realising the roles were now reversed and she was the one comforting him. He could pretend all he want, but she knew he was worried too.

He nodded and was about to reply when the door of the RV was pulled open with a bang. Suddenly bullets were raining down on them, the sound of a gun being fired so close them was hurting her ears.

Rick threw himself on the ground, hiding behind the couch while Quinn tried to make herself as small as possible in the driver's seat. Through the sound of gunshots she could hear Daryl calling out their names on the radio but they were in no position to respond.

When the gunshots stopped, Rick immediately jumped up and threw himself at their attacker, landing hard on the floor as he attempted to hit him. Another man entered the RV and pulled Rick away from the man on the ground. His arm was around Rick's neck, slowly chocking the life out of him.

She grabbed her dagger, jumped out of the chair and with a scream she pushed the blade into the man his shoulder. He shouted out in pain, releasing Rick from his grip. She pulled the dagger out, only the slam it in his back. Still screaming in pain, the man dropped to the ground, waving his arms around to try and hit her but she bend down, avoiding the blow only to jump back up and deliver the final blow by pushing her dagger through the man his skull. Immediately he went limp, his arms falling down on the ground, lifeless. Rick stared at her wide eyes but snapped himself out of his trance and turned around quickly while reaching for his gun. He pointed it at the first man who attacked them and fired, killing him.

Breathing heavily the two stared at each other. Completely at loss for words of what the hell just happened. Then Rick frowned, his eyes landing on something sticking out of the coat pocket of the man she just murdered. He knelt down and pulled out a small and familiar jar of apple sauce. She'd seen a thousand of them stocked in the food supplies. Her eyes widened at the sight as realisation sunk in. These were the same people who attacked Alexandria. Her thoughts were racing through her mind. Were they here because they succeed in killing everyone back home, or were they here because they fled? Before she could say any of it out loud though, a soft thud came from outside the RV.

Rick held up his hand a signal for her to stay quiet. He gestured towards the side mirror and she turned to look. Her heart beat sped up at the sight of four other people trying to sneak their way around the RV, possibly to kill them. They were wearing the same ragged clothes the two dead man inside were, holding up their guns as they snuck closer towards the front. Turning back to Rick with wide eyes she watched as he reached for his rifle. As quietly as possible he took a stand and pointed it at the side of the RV.

For a second there was nothing but silence, then he pulled the trigger, raining down bullet after bullet, shooting straight through the RV at the people outside. Holes appeared in the side for every bullet that he fired and she could only hope they would make their way outside and kill their attackers.

When the magazine clicked, signalling it was empty, he stopped. The silence returned as the two of them waited with wild beating hearts. Only after a minute or so, when there was still nothing but silence, did Quinn dared to move in her seat. As quietly as possible she crawled to the window and looked outside.

A shaky breath left her lips when she saw the four dead humans. Whether it was a sigh from guilt or relief, she could not say and she wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer. Turning back to look at Rick she nodded and he too, exhaled slowly, as though he'd been holding his breath the entire fight. And it was in that moment that Quinn realised that no matter how many people he killed, no matter how hard he pretended that killing was like a second nature to him now...he still felt the weight of guilt everytime he pulled the trigger. Which was exactly why he resented the people of Alexandria so much. They refused to face that guilt, refused to be brave enough to ever even feel the guilt that came afterwards. He was filled with it, with the weight of surviving. They all were.

'Quinn?' Daryl's voice came through the radio once again.

She reached for the walkie. 'We're okay,' she said to him, her heart aching when hearing the desperation in his voice. Her eyes went to Rick as he took a seat behind the wheel and tried to get the RV started, but the only thing that happened was a slight sputtering of the engine. 'We're okay right?' She muttered, watching as Rick groaned in frustration when he tried again and the engine still wouldn't start.

Through the open door of the RV she could hear shuffeling footsteps and snarls, soon followed by the stench of death. The herd was here.

With wide eyes she looked through the window, watching as the walkers started pouring out of the woods and unto the road. There really was only one option left if they wanted to get out of this alive and they realised it at the same time. Both Quinn and Rick jumped out of their seat and grabbed their weapons.

Then they ran like hell.

A U T H O R 'S  N O T E

I seriously think that writing Daryl's p.o.v. has been one of the hardest things I've ever had to write. He is such a complex character and getting into his head is so difficult. But since he's one of my favorite characters in the whole world, I wanted to try! I absolutely love figuring out how this man would think about emotions and about falling in love, since we haven't really seen that side of him in the show.

 I want to keep him as real as possible, which is why it has taken so long for him and Quinn to get together because that's who he is. You can't take it too fast with this guy. And another thing I realised while writing is that: He ain't nobody's bitch. ;)

Daryl is one independent guy who don't need no woman. You get what I mean? So, I really hope I managed to describe him as someone who is realising that for the first time, he needs someone, wants someone, and he doesn't know how to deal with that.

I had a lot of fun doing this, so who knows, maybe I'll write another p.o.v. for him! Please let me know your thoughts in the comments, they mean the world to me!

Thank you all so much for your support,

xXx

UYM