YES THIS IS A CHAPTER BUT PLEASE SEE THE A/N AT THE END. It's important shit my dude.

Alex

John's body collapsed to the floor with a deafening thud.

I could deal with anything. I can take on emotional baggage of others, myself, anyone in existence. I could of taken on the world's sadness. I wouldn't of understood that before, I would of wondered how i could be capable of that, such sadness upon me. but now i did. Because i would take on the galaxy's sadness for eternity so that i could remove the one thing before me; my lover's pale body, limp and crooked on the floor, blood oozing out of his shoulder.

I would take anything, but this.

I would do anything in this moment. All of us would. We would move, use our voices and our bodies to function.

Eliza would scream a deafening scream.
Aaron would launch at the attacker.
Angelica would snarl bitter curses at the attacker.
Peggy would cling onto the closest person and curl away from the body.
Theodosia would rush over to his body, rummaging for a heartbeat.
Lafayette and Hercules would take down the attacker at all costs.
Maria would swear her mouth away into the empty cafe.
God knows what I would have done. I would weep. Scream. Yell. Cry. Even more. I could've murdered that man on site who dared bring a gun here.

But what we would've done wasn't in our power to do. Our frozen bodies were stuck in our own shock, preventing us from doing anything but staring down at John's limp, unmoving body.

The whole cafe was still.

The world was still.

My ears rang with the eerie silence, it hurt my eardrums to the core, but i had not strength to cover them. To lift my arms or move.

God, I dreaded this silence. It's not the type that is comfortable, far from it. Not even unsettling, just plain shocking and shrill.

I was in shock, my eyes pinned to John's unmoving body. I couldn't look away.

Until the window, smeared with nearly dried blood, shattered into a million pieces next to us.

And (for the only time it would happen) I fully appreciated the sound of glass shattering.

Doors swung open, armed men (police, thank god) swarmed in, yelling brashly. I couldn't comprehend the words, i couldn't care about the world around me, I didn't duck away from the glass that had now cut my arm. Blood trickled down my fingers, but i was more consumed of the blood on the floor. Next to my lover. Who was limp. Crooked.

Dead?

Finding comfort in the man with his hands over his head, I found my voice again. Maybe if I scream loud enough I could wake John up.

John?

John, wake up.

This isn't a dream.

You might be dead.

Snap back into it, John.

John...

Wake up.

Who are you?

You sound like Alex.

I'm still awake, yes. I can feel my toes on my left side. I can hear, but everything is so loud and vibrant. My eyes are closed, yes. But i can still see colours. Crimson, the smell of blood. My ears seem to be the only thing functioning.

Everything is so bright. Fuzzy and loud. It feels nearly pleasant and dreamy, until I hear a blearing smash of glass.

All of my senses flicker on and off, all of my body comes back into full motion. Pain is awoken, the dozy comfort of silence i felt before vanishes. My ribs feel as though my heart was rising through my stomach, slipping into my throat, causing me to silently gag. My eyes stay closed, however, and I don't feel alive. Nor do i feel dead, I just don't feel in the world I was once in.

I'm hanging on to the brink of that world now. My fingers could easily slip and everything could just disappear, the world I knew. What do I have to live for there, anyway? My heart is somber and cold, and the eyes of the back of my head watch me icily.

I could just easily let go, give myself in and let my body float underground. That sounds nice, I have nothing to live here for, anyway. What was in the world I once was in anyway?

"John, wake up! Please, this has to be a dream. You're not dead, please no. Snap out of it, John! Please! John...

"Wake up."

Oh, of course. That's who. I almost forgot about his honey soft voice.

I hold on to the ledge of the world a bit harder, and pull enough to pull half of my body onto safety. Back to the world.

Suddenly the pain comes back. And I'm back in the real world.

Alex

"Wake up."

I try again as i incoherently beg of John to give me a sign, to open his eyes so i could see his marvellous eyes again. Only minutes ago when he was staring down at me, taking a fucking bullet for me, that couldn't of been the last time i saw them- glazed with fear and hurt. It couldn't.

My eyes shut in prayer as i desperately thought of anything, sounds of the once muted cafe buzzing with Eliza's sobs around me and Theodosia's assurances. I wanted to just open my eyes, and his eyes would be there to greet mine, and  his smile would appear.

God, the last time i saw his smile. I did everything wrong on this trip, and he had hardly smiled. I couldn't even get to the bottom of what was happening. Why he wasn't smiling.

from the head lying on my lap, curls bouncing around with every movement of my hand running through them, i stopped when i saw a glimmer of green.

The eyes smiled weakly to me. His mouth unmoving and solemn, but his eyes seem to communicate his smile. His words. His everything. His eyes displayed "I'm not feeling so good". "I want to go home, now". "Its okay. You're okay".

But his eyes never displayed "I'm getting out of this, okay? Ill be fine." 

He's not fine.

"John, oh god John I'm so sorry for everything." I pressed my forehead against his with a racked sob. I wanted to tell him so much. How i wanted to marry him and get a dog with him. Adopt kids. Get an Avery. This wasn't on the fucking plan. "Please, say something, anything." I didn't care what it was, i just wanted to hear his voice again, see his smile again, feel his love again.

"Al." His eyes. Dull and grim, but the smile still weak and there.

"Yeah?"

"W-When I'm gone-"

No. Anything but this. John, i trusted in you to say something right. Something uplifting.

"Don't, John. Please don't-"

"I can't-"

"Please."

"I can't live anymore. Its better where i am now. Its nicer here-"

"No, please don't say that, please no-" I ran my fingers through his tangled hair, pleading of him to speak rationally. To speak fairly. This isn't rational or fair.

"Al, please- you can do this without me for a while."

"I don't want to, not without you. Its a small injury, y-you'll be fine-"

"Its not just that, Lex. Its... I'm done here."

I had never heard John so done with everything. No potential. No passion. No will to do anything. Not even smile. Or breathe.

"Please, no, no. I cant live without you here. No, no, no, i can't..." my mind scattered into strands of words, grief struck me harder than anything in existence.

"Hey, Lexi, breathe, you'll be okay. I'm..." John took a deep breathe, something that could be either good or horribly bad. "I'll be fine, okay? Ill be fine. Deep breaths, Lexi. I love you so much, okay?" John cupped my cheeks with cold, clammy hands but I couldn't care less and fully embraced his touch.

"Please. Please smile."

John closed his eyes for a short moment (thank god he opened them quickly, any moment he sighed or closed his eyes i felt it would be his last) as if his eyes were chuckling, but his moth still peered in a normal frown. I could nearly hear a distant tinkle of his laughter. He shifted his hands to the back of my neck, under my locks of hair. I could feel him brushing the back of my skin gently before pushing my down close to him, gesturing for me to kiss him. I pulled down to him, our lips desperately touching. I felt an overwhelming sigh from him escape his nose.

The kiss felt bitter, sober and soft, I had to remind myself this was not a goodbye kiss. It was a see you soon kiss. His mouth parted- the last time in a while i could feel them, those peach lips of his. I should have spent more time focusing on them, embracing them for all they were, i let time slip. Precious time i could of spent with him was wasted away with countless hours of work. When i pulled away suddenly, he looked at me cautiously, his eyebrows functioning again and dipping into a curious frown.

"Its just- i wasted all my time with work and staying up late on my computer- and- I-I could have spent it with you. I could have spent my late nights drinking cocoa with you on the couch, and not being an asshole and shutting you out. I love you so godamn much, I'm so sorry for everything I've done," i could feel my lips detach from my face as i just rambled to him between sobs, "spending more time with you, spending time with that ass of a turtle-"

"Its a tortoise, you idiot."

I smiled and chuckled, that laugh turning into a sob, and i held onto him tighter, his sweet 'shhhs' lulling me to ease. I looked at his eyes again. My time running short. His eyelids were giving out, shutting down. But not for the last time, John would see to that. "Hey."

"Hm?" John hummed.

"Smile, i want to see your beautiful smile and beautiful eyes."

John's eyes lightened up once more, holding the smile within him brighter, and his lips creased into a genuine grin that his face glowed, despite being in a cafe with broken glass and both of us bleeding. He still manages to smile without fault. And its still beautiful, he's still beautiful. "I'll see you again. I love you."

"I love you too. Please don't leave me here."

"I won't."

His eyes start to close, I try to take in every bit of his green eyes before they close but for gods sake I would never be satisfied enough to take in enough.

His chest, once shakily rising and falling irregularly, stops its movement.

I let him rest.

I shouldn't of done that, he's gone now, isn't he, i let him go.

"Eliza. Eliza, he's not moving. He's not breathing, he- he has no pulse, oh god-

"John!"

Please John, don't leave me. You promised you wouldn't! Wake up!

Wow i forgot how much i like writing lams
Uh hey sorry for not wiring for 4 months then writing a whole chapter in one hour. And some of yall gave up and said "sis she gave up on this book" but BITCH DONT @ ME I COME OUT WITH ONE CHAPTER IN WHATS BEEN MONTHS OOPS. Its sort of a whole chapter length? Its nearly 2000 words but no one really cares

So uh, its been a year since i first got wattpad! I had this account years ago but i never used it regularly and abandoned it completely, then i redownloaded it on jan 7! I actually downloaded wattpad that time to read jeggy fanfics because i found out that was a thing??

So the whole John POV might not make sense now, but hopefully it will.

AlsO THE CONTEST I DID??
I really liked this one of Mon Esprit

This really gave me the feel of just empty scribbles but the clean silhouette that is John and its easy to see it. And its almost the same to what i did??

Thats a really disgusting sketch of mon esprit but that's the point he's ugly and negative and ew

Please leave some constructive criticism for my writing! I need to improve and I'm a bit rusty seeing how I haven't written in a while! But I'm back bbys hell yeah