When someone asks why you have so many bruises:
"They aren't bruises, they're battle scars."
"No, I'm not getting abused at home."

What's the worst bruise you ever got? I'll tell you mine:
I was doing a 45 toss and I reached out to get it, I didn't and it fell right on my foot. I was only wearing socks. Surprisingly I didn't cry (normally I cry ;-; a lot ;-;) and there was a bruise for a month. It didn't help that our school uniform shoes are stiff 🙃

Edit: oh wow did this age horribly. My current worst bruise is from sophomore year when someone next to me did a triple on rifle and they rainbowed it and it hit me right in the middle of my forearm. I was about to toss, and I was confused when something suddenly smacked my arm really hard. The bruise was there for a whole month.

Another edit: idk if this one is worse than the last edit, but I have another bruise story that happened just recently. I have a solo toss on rifle that's a triple and catch under the leg. I was practicing it, but I reached my hand too far under my leg, and the rifle smacked my arm maybe mid-forearm and bounced off my wrist. I saw the main bruise appear quickly, but within the next few days, I saw another bruise below the first one, then a third one below the other 2. (The rifle must have bounced off my wrist twice.) They were in an inconvenient spot too, because whenever I took my backpack off, the strap would slide right over the bruises.