the next day

•••••

I survived.

I went to school this morning not wanting to see Q or Z.

I told JR about what happened at the social, and she offered to beat Q up for me, and help me escape any situations with Z, and tbh I needed that convo with her :,)

But JR said she wasn't gonna be in tomorrow, and I sit next to her in chemistry. Also none of my friends I sit with in maths were in either, so I was starting to worry, because I sit on the same table as Z in Maths and behind him in Chemistry. I needed some form of human barrier because I wasn't in the right mental state to deal with him.

Luckily Z wasn't in either. But he'll probably be in tomorrow so I'm low key stressing again?

I had silent study in the morning, and Q was in there too. I guess seeing him wasn't as bad as I thought, but at one point he walked over and I was ready to shit! my! pants! But he actually went over to my friend LM to ask for help on a homework so it was fine.

In maths it was only me and OW on our table, so we sat next to each other and had a little gossip sesh about the social.

He told me that Q had a heart to heart with AC about him (OW) and basically Q said that he's still not over JD, who's going out with OW.

He said that straight to my face. Then went "suck it up mate, it's been a year. I'm dating her."

I felt my soul leave my body. Too right it's been a year. A whole fucking year of one sided feelings 😔

To top it all off: we went through a chemistry test this afternoon (one that I actually revised for) and I only got a C, and the teacher said she was disappointed with the whole class and we're all doing a resit.

She said our year has a reputation with all the teachers as the "party year" who don't do enough work outside of school and don't take their studies seriously enough. She told us to get our heads down and get working, because she can't sit our A-Levels for us.

I mean she's completely right, but I was so close to tears at that point. If Z was in I would've broken down on the spot.

So yeah driving test tomorrow pray for my survival thanks xoxo

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