Warning: If you are squeamish or sensitive about messed up hair and/or extremely ridiculous and unlikely scenarios, do not read. This is your first, only, and last warning.

...

Luigi: Um, actually, I'd like to point out that you said 'warning' twice.

NintendoJedi: ... Very true. Be quiet, Luigi.

Once upon a time, on a beautiful winter afternoon in the Mushroom Kingdom, The Author that is me decided to torture some people with another sad, unfortunate tale. It happened like this:
Yellow Toad slammed his teacup a little violently down on the table and let out a loud BURRRP. Everyone sitting or standing around looked at him but nobody bothered to say anything.
Princess Peach was having Daisy for tea that afternoon, mostly as an excuse to drink sugar while disguising it as a 'royal meeting'. So far they had discussed the plans for their next appearance in Mario Sports Superstars. The castle toadstools (i.e., Blue and Yellow Toad) were there, along with Lakitu and Birdo, who looked as if they'd missed their morning coffee for this.
Blue Toad continued his five-minute-long mouth running marathon.
"And so I think that we colorful toads should toadally be playable in the sports games. What do the guys at Nintendo have against rainbow toads? All my life I've watched Toad steal the spotlight and everyone eats him up. Well you know what?"
"Yes," everyone replied dully.
"You do? Good. Now I guess I can stop talking."
"Finally," Yellow Toad sighed dramatically. "This was starting to turn into the Conan O'Blue Toad show."
Before someone could say a smart comment, Daisy's phone rang. Everyone watched in utter boredom as she dug it out of her magical dress pocket and answered. It was a guy at Nintendo.
After a long automated message I do not care to share, she hung up and turned to them.
"Well, I've got to run," she said. "They need me at the studio right now to pose for some artwork, if you believe that."
"I don't believe that," said Yellow Toad. "You're just trying to bail on us."
"Believe me, I really wish I could stay here and watch you drink yourself into a sugar coma, but I'm already running late," she informed him, standing up. "I'll catch ya later, Peach. Let me know if anyone actually says something useful." With that she dashed out the door.
Lakitu slowly sunk on his cloud and let his head hit the table. Peach put a hand to her head and sighed.
Then Blue Toad collapsed to the floor from too much sugar.

It was still a lovely wintry scene in Toad Town, and all around on sidewalks and in yards toads were frolicking and playing in the snow. As Daisy dashed down the road for the warp pipe, everything seemed wonderfully perfect: the sun shone down, the winter birds were singing, and leftover love from Valentine's Day was in the air.
And then Daisy got pelted in the head with a snowball.
"Whoops! Hi, Daisy!" A toad called from nearby. "Wanna come play?"
To put it lightly, Daisy did not 'want to come play'.
"Hey! Watch where you throw that thing!" She said. "Don't you have any idea how much time it takes to get that stuff out of your hair?"
There was an awkward silence as she and the toad both glanced up at his smooth head.
"...uh, actually, no."
Daisy sighed. "Okay, look, ordinarily I'd be getting you back so hard you wished you were never born, but right now I'm on a deadline," she said, brushing the snow out of her hair. "So I'll catch you later."
"Oh, okay. Later, Daisy!" The toad waved. As she continued down the road, he paused as her words sunk in. Then he slowly crept inside his house. Then he pulled the curtains shut. And he bolted all the doors.

So with very minimal hair damages, Daisy went on her way. All was going well! For five seconds.
Soon she passed a small construction site, where some shy guys were building a playground. (Get ready for ridiculous scenario number one.) There were about 23 other townspeople walking around in the near vicinity. Of all these, the shy guy picked Daisy.
"Hey there, do you mind giving us a second?"
Daisy paused. "There, I gave you one second," she said, starting forward. "I really don't have time -
"Thanks! We need you to stand on top of that hill and tell us if this sand box looks centered," he explained, shoving her.
Daisy was too stupefied for words for a moment.
"I - you - what?! Can't you do it yourself?"
"Well we could, but we wanted a girl's opinion."
Daisy was ready to slap someone in the face. "You don't have ANY girls among you??"
The shy guy did a quick headcount. "No. Last I checked, all shy guys are... well, guys."
Snorting like a bull, Daisy tromped to the top of the hill and crossed her arms, staring down at the sandbox. "It looks positively fine," she informed. "Now I'm leaving before I fall in -"
Just then a paratroopa and a goomba came prancing along like magical pixie horses and bumped Daisy from behind.

Daisy: OH COME ON!

Paratroopa: Sorry man.

Goomba: Hey, I do NOT prance around like a pixie horse!

NintendoJedi: Too bad. I can decide if you're out of character.

Daisy began to fall down, towards the sandbox at an amazing slow motion speed. Luckily, at just the last second a hand grabbed her and pulled her aside in the nick of time, saving her from certain sandcastle disaster.
Unfortunately, the person who saved her was Wario.
"WARIO! Get your hands off my hair!! Now it's messed up!"
"Well excuse me, princess," Wario snorted mockingly. "I was just saving you from the author's tyranny! I don't even know why I did it!"
"Maybe it's because you really do have a kind little heart deep inside of you!" A toad piped up from seemingly nowhere.
Wario's eyes popped open like daisies. Daisy rolled her eyes and counted under her breath. "Three, two, one..."
Wario took off screaming for the hills.
Daisy at last continued on her way. The warp pipe to Nintendo Land was only a couple blocks away -
"Hey Daisy, how's it going-
"STAY AWAY FROM ME!"
The random toad stared at her before carefully scooting away.
Looking carefully right and left for potential hair hazards, Daisy kept moving. "If one more person slows me down I swear I'll -"
Then Bowser Jr. appeared from out of nowhere in his clown car overhead, chasing after Lemmy in his own car. Bowser Jr. was swinging around his big paintbrush. I'll let you put two and two together. Or should I say, head and paintbrush.
"Haha! Can't touch this!" B. J. taunted, completely oblivious to what was going on below.
"Oh, I'll show you can't touch this!" Daisy hissed from below. "EAT FLOWERS AND DIE!"
Lemmy pulled up his clown car in confusion. "What?"
Next instant he and Bowser Jr. were pitted in a merciless fight for their life against an assault of plants that came like bullets.
"AAAAHHH! DADDY HELP MEEE! ITS THE SCARY FLOWER PRINCESS!!!"
They received no mercy until their engines became clogged with flower petals and died.
With the battle won, Daisy tossed her paint-snowball-dirty hair. "I don't mind playing dirty, boys, but this is ridiculous. And don't you forget it," she informed them, stalking off indignantly. Lemmy groaned and rolled on the ground. "What... did I... do?"

So with pretty bad hair damage, Daisy at last came to the warp pipe. She was quite nervous now about what she would do for her artwork, but luckily she forgot about all of that for a second when suddenly an extremely strong wind hit her face.
"Oh Daaaaaaisy!" Luigi said, holding up his Poltergust. "Look what I -
"No! No no no! Why?" Daisy sank to her knees and screamed at the sky. "WHY????!!!"
Luigi stood there and blinked in surprise. "Gee I - I'm really sorry, Daisy," he said. "Not a good time?"
Daisy, with hair like the Eiffel Tower, stood up and took a deep breath. "No, it's not your fault, Luigi," she said. "It's just icing on the cake."
Luigi frowned. He opened his mouth to say something but Daisy cut him off.
"There are no literal cakes here, and I'm talking about my hair," she added.
"Oh. Well, it does look kinda... well..."
She laughed. "I know... I was going to get my artwork made, but now... I don't know what I'm going to do."
Luigi tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Hm... I-
"Please don't say that," Daisy said. "I need answers, here."
"I have an answer!" Luigi said. "You can use this!" He held up a spray can.
"'Hairdo in a Can'?"
"Yup! It's totally foolproof. They're really expensive, but when I do manage to get one they make me look like Simon Baker."
Daisy blinked. "Am I supposed to know what that means?"
Luigi blinked. "No. Just use it!"
"But didn't you say they're really expensive?"
"Yeah, but I'm giving to you!" Then without warning he opened it up and squirted her in the face.
"Luigi-!!"
...
A few days later the Mario Sports Superstars artwork came back in all it's glory. When Waluigi saw it he gasped.
"Holy mackerel! Daisy made it onto the front cover and LOOK AT HER HAIR!!"
From that day forward he was jealous of Daisy's hair products. And he lived unsatisfied forever after. Because no one would tell him the secret.

Finally! There's another one. I'm really sorry about the huge delay for a relatively short story, but I was just busy drawing and working on another book I guess (it's a Super Mario Sunshine novel if you're interested). I wanted to give Daisy a story but I was just suffering from a bit of writer's block. Hopefully that spell is over now :)
Funnily enough, I think this was actually the first story that didn't feature Mario in any way. Anyhoo,
See ya next time!

~Daisy