The Faerie Forest by @CayliRhea

CHAPTERS 4-6

As usual there were some occasional errors here and there. I commented on these because I think it will really help with the editing later on.

No need for the second comma in dialogue.

For example:

"I'm so bored," said Linda, "How are you, Tom?"

THIS IS THE WRONG WAY^^

"I'm so bored," said Linda. "How are you, Tom?"

THIS IS THE RIGHT WAY^^

I'm only mentioning this because after reading 6 chapters I've seen that this happens a lot. It must be a habit for you so I would look at these examples and see where you can apply it to the book. Also, because I can't go through every single one and comment the correct version, I thought it'd be more useful to tell you.

You had some occasional comma splits (this is when two sentences that make perfect sense on their own are joined by a comma. This is the wrong thing to do and they should be separated by a semi colon instead.)

You used "lead" instead of "led" when using the past tense.

I must say that there is a very strong plot line. I can really see where you've developed the story and I can see that there is so much potential for more.

GREAT character development. I absolutely LOVED the thinking scene with Darion - it gave us a lot more insight into his mind and made me start to trust him a lot more. Keep scenes as good as this throughout.

Overall, a very good addition. This is one of those books where I could just read and read forever. Seriously. That doesn't happen very often. Keep it up!

Remember that this is a critique, NOT a criticism. Please spread the word!

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