"Flo," Isla whispered my name, gently nudging me with her hand. I groan, mostly because I did not get enough sleep to be able to function, Isla and Jere went out last night, and despite me being asleep when she got back into our shared room, my best friend proceeded to wake me up and tell me about her night, not skipping out on any details. I'm happy for her, of course, but hearing how great of a kisser Jeremiah Fisher (who is practically my little brother) is, is not something I'm particularly fond of. "You've got to get up. It's the big day."

"You make it sound like I'm getting married," I grumble, rolling my eyes as I turn to face her. Isla was already dressed for the day in a pair of cut-offs and an oversized hoodie that I recognized as Jeremiah's.

"If Conrad was your date, maybe it could lead to that," She winks, placing a steaming cup of coffee on my nightstand, "you know, I still don't get why you didn't ask him to be your date? You guys seem so friendly lately."

Conrad and I have been friendly. She's not wrong. It's just... despite my heart longing for it to be more, I know it can't be. Conrad has the world on his shoulders, dealing with his mom, his brother and his future. I will not be some added stress that Conrad needs to worry about. If we went to the ball, it'd ruin everything.

I also haven't really talked to Belly about the whole Conrad thing... Things are just beginning to feel normal again between us, and even if her and Cam are still hanging out, I don't know where her heart lies. I don't know if me and Conrad becoming more will crush my little sister and ruin our relationship.

"It's just easier this way," I shrug, grabbing the cup of coffee between my hands once I'm sitting up, "less messy."

"You're not putting everyone else over your own happiness again, right?" Isla asks. Sometimes, it's a little startling how well Isla knows me. It's like she can read my mind. I shake my head, which isn't a complete lie. If she knew about Susannah, she'd understand. Conrad's got too much on his plate, and I'm happy to be his friend. "I don't believe you..." She quirks her brow at me, "but we really don't have time to argue. There's a surprise waiting for you downstairs."

"A surprise?" I question, suddenly feeling more awake, "did you and Jere go out to get some of the good muffins?"

Isla simply shrugs in response, walking out my bedroom door, "guess you'll just have to come downstairs and see for yourself."

Despite being half-awake and my body longing to stay in my bed for the rest of the day, I pull myself out of bed, trudging behind Isla, who is practically skipping down the stairs excitedly. The house is abuzz, the scent of coffee wafting through the house and old music playing from the radio in the kitchen.

I am pulling my hair into a messy bun as I walk behind Isla into the living room, my eyes landing on the dress that's hanging by the window. Isla stands on one side of the gown, excitedly gesturing to it, bouncing on the balls of her feet excitedly, "ta-da," She exclaims, "what do you think?"

Beside her is Conrad and Jere, both smiling and waiting to see how I react, "Isla," I shake my head in disbelief. This dress wasn't cheap, and I'd assumed she'd forgotten about it, "I don't..." I stutter, moving closer to touch the soft satin fabric, "I..." I shake my head once more, smiling at her, "you got me the dress?"

"Oh, I'm just the messenger," She informs me. Her smile somehow grows even wider as she nudges Conrad, whose cheeks are growing a warm shade of pink, "this was all, Conrad."

Conrad runs his fingers through his hair, tugging at the ends anxiously, and my heart soars. Feeling like it might burst out of my chest at any moment, "You uh looked so uncomfortable in your other dress," Conrad admits, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly. "And when I brought it up to Isla, she mentioned this other dress you tried on. I, uh, picked it up this morning when the shop opened."

"Oh my god," I shake my head at Conrad, joyful laughter falling past my lips. "I-"I shake my head at him, words failing me. Instead, I throw my arms around him, practically leaping into his arms, his hands falling to my waist to steady me as I wrap my arms around his shoulders. I didn't think it was possible for my feelings for Conrad to grow stronger, but at this moment, my heart expanded, practically soaring out of my chest.

"It's no big deal, really," Conrad reassures bashfully.

"No, it is," I correct him, pulling away to look at him, our faces mere inches apart. At the sight of my smile, Conrad's grows his perfect, semi-crooked smile that I could spend hours staring at. "Thank you, seriously. You didn't have to do this."

Before Conrad can reply, I catch a glimpse of Belly in my peripheral vision. Her brow is quirked curiously, "what'd I miss?" She asks, her tone laced with confusion.

I break away from Conrad, grateful my cheeks are naturally sun-kissed so Belly and everyone else can't see the blush that's beginning to coat them, "Conrad bought Flo the dress she wanted," Jeremiah informs my sister. He's smiling brightly, "speaking of which... go into the dining room."

Belly furrows her brows at Jere but does as told, leading the way into the dining room, the rest of us following behind. Conrad and I are side by side, sharing a sideways glance as we enter. I wonder if he knew about Belly's feelings for him? If he feels as guilty as I do for feeling the way we do. "No way," Belly gasps, and my eyes are drawn to the dress hanging up. It's the one mom picked out for her at the shop. It's simpler than the one she has now, a crisp white satin with a squared neck.

"We figured if Flo was getting the dress she wanted, so should you," Isla nudges my sister, her and Jeremiah both smiling at her, "so while Conrad was grabbing Flo's dress, we got yours. Your mom told us which one to grab."

I love my best friend. I think as Belly launches into both Jere and Isla's arms, giggly squeals escaping her lips as she repeats the phrase, "thank you" over and over. When I was a kid, I watched Susannah and mom with envy, hoping and praying I'd get lucky enough to have my own Susannah one day. I know I've found my person, my Susannah.

"You gave them their dresses without us?" Susannah's voice breaks off Belly's excited babbling, her and mom entering the room behind Conrad and me. I allow Susannah to wrap her arm over my shoulder, my arms wrapping around her waist. Typically, when I hug her, I squeeze her just as tight as she squeezes me, but lately, it feels scary to do that, like I might break her.

   It's hard not to look at Susannah and see someone who's sick. She's suddenly much frailer, her bright blue eyes sunken tiredly, her typically glowing skin pale and feverish looking. How had I not noticed anything until Conrad told me? It all looks so obvious now, her cancer staring me right in the eyes, breaking my heart more and more every day.

"You're not upset we're not wearing our other dresses?" I ask her. The last thing I want is to hurt Susannah's feelings.

"Upset?" She asks, chuckling as if I said something hilarious, "you girls could show up in your PJs and still be the prettiest girls at the ball. I just care that you're happy." She squeezes my shoulder before moving over to Belly. Unlike me, my sister tackles Susannah into an excited hug, not as worried about hurting her as I am.

"Why is everyone being so loud?" Groaning, Steven enters the room, his hair still messy from sleep. We were all in the dining room now, and I realized just how little time we've all spent together this summer. My heart aches to go back and do things differently. But, as much as I'd like to ignore it, this is quite possibly the last time things will be like this. Conrad and I are both graduated now, he's going to school in the fall, and I'm... well, I guess I'm not sure where I'll end up, but I know it's not going to be the same anymore. And Susannah, as much as I'd like to remain hopefully optimistic, I can't help but feel like this is the last time we'll all be together like this.

"Flo?" Mom breaks me away from my thoughts, and her face is laced with concern. Everyone's is. I didn't realize I'd zoned out for a minute, my expression falling at the thoughts of our unknown future, "are you okay, sweetie?"

"What?" I stutter, glancing around at everyone. Conrad's eyes lock with mine, and the look on his face is the exact reason we can't be more than friends. Conrad looks like he'd do whatever it takes to fix what's bothering me, even though he's got enough going on as is. "Sorry, I'm fine. Just spaced out for a second."

"As always," Jeremiah rolls his eyes, playfully nudging my arm as he walks out of the room. I was known for spacing out, ideas for stories flowing through my head. I awkwardly chuckle as if the reason I spaced out was that.

Everyone begins exiting the kitchen, dispersing around the house. Susannah, Belly and Isla head to the kitchen to check on our shoes, which had been put in the freezer to stretch. Steven to go to Shayla's and Jeremiah's upstairs. "Can we talk for a second?" Mom asks me. She seems nervous.

"I'll give you guys some space," Conrad says before I can answer, shooting me a reassuring smile as he leaves, "I'll see you later."

"See ya," I nod, fidgeting with my ring as he leaves my mom and I alone. We've talked a bit since my accident, and everything's been sorted out between us. She promised to put less pressure on me and that no matter what, she'd be proud of me. Right now, though, she seems worried. Does she know that I know about Susannah? Is she about to tell me thinking I don't? "So," I start awkwardly, "everything okay?"

"I was going to ask you the same," Mom admits, chuckling, "you know, you don't have to continue with the deb ball to prove a point to me."

"No, no," I shake my head, so that's what she thought was upsetting me, "I'm not." Mom furrows her brows, and I rephrase my wording, "trying to prove a point, I mean. I was at first, and I did hate it," Mom laughs, and the sound soothes my aching heart, "but uh, I want to finish what I started... and I'm kind of proud to show everyone."

"Okay," Mom nods, reaching over to squeeze my hand. "How's your book coming? Cleveland told me you're nearly done?"

"It's good," I nod, and I think it is. Since my accident, everything feels clearer, I might not know where my life is going and what's going to happen, but my writing has come easier than ever, "but uh, I've actually been thinking, I might not apply for that scholarship this year." Before the accident, mom probably would have been disappointed to hear this, I know how important school is for her, she helped me choose the writing program for me, and I was excited about it, but... I just can't help but feel like it's not the right path for me right now. "I was, uh, thinking of maybe taking a gap year? Travelling a bit before I decide what to do with my life?"

I expect disappointment, but mom merely nods, smiling at me with a proud expression, "okay," She says, "can I ask what changed your mind?"

"I don't know," I shrug, "I don't think it was one particular thing, more like a lot of little things." I couldn't stop thinking about Susannah and her cancer. How young she is. She always used to tell me about all the places she's visited in her life. She took a gap year before going to college too, and a part of me feels like by doing it, I'll feel close to her, even when she's far away. I also know that by taking a gap year, I could be there for her, to help out.

I feel like I'm so unsure of what to do with my life too. And I'm finally coming to terms with that being okay. I don't need to have everything sorted out all the time. I can take time to figure stuff out.

"Okay," Mom nods, smiling at me, "no matter what, I'm proud of you. We all are."

Flo is finally doing what she wants for her future, and opening up to her mom a bit! Next chapter we're gonna see some Belly and Flo content, as well as some getting ready for the deb ball!!