I don't own anything except any original characters (including the Reader's concept) and/or any original plot

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Chapter Ten - Bakugou's Lament

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A/n: Bakugou is hard to write for because of his inferiority/superiority complex duo, but I've done a lot of research on not only Bakugou's character but how people handle those complexes, so I hope I did him justice!

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After the villain bitch left - the crazy blonde called you (Y/n) once - Bakugou thought about your words for a long time. So long that he felt like he blinked and his alarm was going off, blaring so loudly that he wanted nothing more than to blow up his phone to end the noise.

Kirishima was the only one who commented on the bags under his eyes and was rewarded with an explosion to the shoulder that he took with a laugh and a repeat of his concerned words.

"I'm fine, dumbass," Bakugou grunted. Kirishima didn't question him any further, which Bakugou was thankful for.

Krisihima had the strange ability to be able to speak to Bakugou without making him feel looked down upon. He worked to become Bakugou's equal and friend in a way that the explosive blonde could process positively. Sure, he was miles ahead of Kirishima in strength, but Bakugou knew enough about Kirishima's own insecurities to feel secure in his own skin no matter what.

Your words stuck with Bakugou through the Provisional Licensing Exam, where all he could see in the "victims" was his own weaknesses and failures. He failed, and he couldn't even be mad about it because he deserved the loss.

Helpless and weak, that was what he was. The end of All Might. Always helpless, always lesser than. Born to be the best, the greatest, and striped of all that in an instant.

(Y/n) (shit, did Bakugou tell the police he knew your name? They never asked, probably assumed it was some super protected secret) visited again the night after the exam. Every time he saw that mask he wanted to destroy it. To see your face and get back at the league for what they did, but he didn't. Something pushed down the urge every time it rose. That pissed him off. For better or worse, brute force always solved his problems in the past. Until Deku got into UA, and he got kidnapped, and he needed help from a villain to stop being a distraction to All Might.

"What? No snarky comment tonight? No death threats?" (Y/n) asked, sitting in Bakugou's desk chair.

The bitch was annoying. The urge to take off your mask rose again. He wanted to know who you were. You looked young, sounded young too. The way you talked about the world and the people around them made you sound mature, but everything else about you said otherwise.

"Bite me."

If you were really Bakugou's age like he thought, then you were the embodiment of everything Deku could have been.

"The forbidden love trope isn't my thing, sorry."

"I'll kill you!"

"No, you won't, hero," you read through his empty threats immediately.

Bakugou hated that. When he was kidnapped, you asked him a few questions and acted like you knew everything there was to know about him. The thing is, you picked Bakugou apart. He was in the middle of a villain base, chained up and assuming he was going to die, and he felt more exposed by your words than anything else. You figured out his intentions and thoughts faster than anyone else ever had. You were a idiot for becoming a villain, but you weren't dumb. You knew people, knew what made them tick and how to get at them. You knew how to make Bakugou feel small when he was forcing himself to grow.

"You don't know that."

"I know it well enough. Based on how you act though, you probably had a violent past. You probably grew up assuming you were better than everyone else-"

"I am better than everyone else!" Bakugou didn't believe his own words. Someone better would have escaped. Someone better wouldn't have been kidnapped in the first place.

"I'm sure there were plenty of times when you would pick on anyone deemed beneath you. You hurt them, didn't you?" You tilted your head innocently, but the hairs on the back of Bakugou's neck stood up. His instincts were screaming at him to run or fight for his goddamn life. In that moment Bakugou realized, your age didn't matter, you were still deadly as hell. He clenched his fist, "And you knew you wouldn't get in trouble, not because you were worth more than the others but because deep down you knew how twisted everyone's minds were. You knew you'd never get called out because of how the world works."

No. No. They were beneath him. Deku was beneath him. He deserved everything he got. He never should have become a hero. Never should have gotten the power that All Might was trying to keep a secret. Bakugou was better, he was better and everyone needed to know it...

Everyone needed to know he was the best so he could convince himself.

"Shut the hell up! You don't know what you're talking about."

Shrugging off his shout, you tilted your head the other way. God, what the hell kind of game were you playing? You always came in with an agenda, picking his mind apart under the idea he wouldn't know. Of course he knew what you were doing, he just didn't know how to stop it. Another thing he wasn't strong enough to prevent.

"Maybe I should talk to someone who understands, then. Midoriya Izuku seems like the type of hero that would listen to someone's problems, don't you think?" Explosions popped off on Bakugou's palms at the mention of Deku, at the compliments being directed toward him from one of the worst villains in Japan, "He's strong, strong enough to protect his friends. Strong enough to beat us, surely. Strong enough to keep even someone like All Might safe."

"SHUT UP!"

"Hm," you shrugged, and stood up, going to the balcony, "See you later, Bakugou."

You were gone, lingering in his mind and invading his thoughts once again.

What right did you think you had to say things like that? To say that Deku was strong enough to protect everyone, to beat the league and protect All Might. To do all the things Bakugou couldn't?

Pacing frantically, Bakugou let his thoughts run wild until he couldn't take it anymore. Deku was stronger than him, huh? Bakugou would find out for himself, get all the answers he needed to feel sane again.

Making his way downstairs, Bakugou quickly located Deku and was on a warpath. No attempts at conversation - the self proclaimed Bakusquad were the only ones brave enough - would stop him.

"You, meet me out front later," Bakugou ordered the nerd lowly. When he was close enough to be heard by Deku only, he added, "We need to have a talk about your Quirk."

He didn't stick around to hear what Midoriya had to say, he just went back up to his room to wait for curfew to fall. The time it took allowed him to stew in his thoughts, in his insecurities. Useless, worthless, weak. Why was it that everything he yelled at other people was truly how he saw himself? The thought made him nauseous.

Finally, the time came where all of Class 1-a settled in for the night. All except two. Bakugou didn't have to wait long for Deku to show up, jittery and obviously nervous. Without a word, Bakugou left the dorm building and walked down a familiar path.

"Kacchan. How far are we going> We shouldn't be walking around in the middle of the night. Hello?"

Bakugou wasn't focused on Deku's questions. He'd figure out where they were going soon enough. Instead, Bakugou's mind was going a mile a minute, reliving his entire life and picking out every moment that set him apart from Deku.

"Wow, you're so lucky! Your Quirk is amazing Kaachan! When I get mine I hope it's just as cool!"

"Whatever, Deku. No matter what power you end up with it'll never be enough to beat me."

Even back then, Bakugou was an asshole. He'd let all the praise get to him so quickly, raised under the idea that he was better. Trained to think he was destined for greatness. Forced to accept that failure would lead to his ruin.

Bakugou finally stopped in Ground Beta, right in front of the building that started his spiral. It had been repaired since their battle trials, but Bakugou found it hard to forget.

"You took us to Ground Beta?"

"This is the place where we had our first combat training. Where I fought you and lost. You've always made me sick. You know that, Deku? You were useless. No power, and a joke. So you're gonna tell me how you managed to get into this damn school with a brand new Quirk that appeared out of nowhere."

"I wasn't hiding my Quirk from you. It was given to me from someone else, recently. I'll work until I have full control of this borrowed Quirk, and I'll finally beat you with my own power."

"I didn't understand what you meant back then because what you were saying made no sense. But still, you kept climbing higher and higher, always looking so satisfied with yourself," flashbacks of the day Bakugou stared death in the eye flooded his mind. He was terrified, and helpless, just like he was with the League of Villains, "Every since that sludge villain- no, it actually started when All Might came to town. Better and better. Until finally, you passed the licensing exam while I failed. How the hell is that even possible?"

"It wasn't a matter of ability though-"

"Shut up and listen, you damn nerd!" Deku should have hated Bakugou. He needed to hate Bakugou. For ten years he made his life hell, and all Deku did was smile and try to stay by his side. He told Deku to kill himself and he became a hero. What seperated you and Deku? What made him the next All Might and you a villain? Bakugou hated Deku, but he wanted what they had when they were kids, too.

"S-sorry."

"It pissed me off that I was getting beaten by a damn weakling, but after seeing All Might at Kamino Ward I began to understand," Bakugou knew that you knew as well. That was your agenda, riling him up and talking about Izuku and All Might to shove his face into the truth, "You got your Quirk from All Might, didn't you? He gave you his power. I heard about the boss villain. Apparently his Quirk can take someone's power and give it to someone else, which sounds crazy but then one of those old cat ladies lost her Quirk and can't work anymore.

"One of the league members said they were quirkless, but now they have a Quirk," Bakugou didn't mention that you told him your were quirkless after he was kidnapped when you broke into UA to see him, "And then you met All Might, and you started changing. Then he lost his power and had to retire, just like her. I remember what he said when he beat the big bad. We all heard it."

"Now, it's your turn."

"Back then, you were the only one who really knew what he meant. There's more evidence too, like how those Nomu monsters had multiple Quirks. Even though it seemed impossible. Besides, All Might and that boss villain knew each other before that fight. Quirks could move from one person to another. All Might knew the guy that could do it. And somehow it's all connected to what you said about getting your Quirk from someone else. I asked All Might about this, in a way, but he wouldn't give me a straight answer. That's why you're gonna tell me the truth. You're not trying to deny anything which means I must be right. So say it."

Deku was sweating, and pale. Bakugou knew it was true before he started talking, had known the truth for a while, but he needed the confirmation. The assurance that he wasn't losing his mind trying to find an excuse for Deku catching up.

"Okay. What if it's true?"

Eyes narrowing, Bakugou clenched his fists, "You and I both wanted to be just like All Might when we were growing up, but I was the one with the potential. Then somehow, a little nobody like you was singled out by the person I admire most, and I didn't even realize it. That's why we're here. You and I are settling this. Right here, right now."

Bakugou didn't like talking about how he felt. The words never came out right. Emotions were a weakness he couldn't afford to show. If he was weak then he couldn't be the best. But fighting, that was a language Bakugou could understand.

"Wait, what? How is that the best way for us to work things out?" Deku screeched. It wasn't. A normal pair would sit down and actually talk things through, but Bakugou didn't need to talk. He'd talked enough. To the police, to teachers, to you. No, what he needed was action, "No, this is bad. We're not even supposed to be at Ground Beta by ourselves. Why don't we talk about this during one of our free periods? We can reserve a training room. There's no reason we have to fight right now."

"If we fight for real at school we'll be stopped," no time limits, no teachers, no rules, "I wanna know what made All Might give his power to a loser like you. I wanna see for myself. Is it because you looked up to him more than I did? And if that's the case, does that mean everything I've done to be like him was wrong?"

"No, Kacchan."

All Might was a winner. He won everything. That was what Bakugou saw. Power and victory. Deku saw something else, and he became something else because of it. This "special thing" that Deku saw, Bakugou needed to see it too. All Might couldn't show him anymore. Bakugou would go for the next best thing.

"You really wanna do this?"

Stretching out his arms, Bakugou said, "If you don't wanna get hit then punch back. You've switched to using kicks more these days, didn't you?"

"Come on, stop! This isn't smart!"

Finished stretching and ready to vent, Bakugou blasted himself toward Deku. Rearing back his right hand, Bakugou could practically hear Deku's thoughts. He'd think the right hook was a feint because he'd caught Bakugou that way before. Damn nerd needed to think less, act quicker.

Releasing a giant explosion, Bakugou saw a blur of green miss the majority of the blast. Deku was fast to react, but he could have avoided the blast altogether if he wasn't so over-analytical.

"You're always over-thinking things. Just fight me!"

"You're serious? You want to spar?"

Blasting himself forward again, Bakugou let his actions show his answer. Explosion after explosion sounded off as he waited for Deku to fight back. His arms already started to grow sore due to the sheer size and force, but he wouldn't stop until Deku fought back and Bakugou's thoughts could finally, finally process.

After several blocks worth of buildings were destroyed, Bakugou stopped for a second to catch his breath. Deku had the chance to speak up again. Couldn't he just shut up?

"Why hurt each other when we could just talk things out?" Deku cried, lifting his hand, Bakugou let off small explosions but did nothing more, "You were right to look up to All Might like you did. I know just how much he meant to you when we were growing-"

Taking off again, Bakugou aimed a blast for the ground right next to Deku to get him moving again.

"I told you to wait!"

"Wait for me! Please! Kaachan!"

"You were always behind me. Our whole lives."

"Are you alright?"

"You were stuck to me like glue. I couldn't get rid of you. No matter how much I tried, you kept coming back!"

"Listen to me!"

"Stop running! Stand up and fight! We both admired All Might. So why?"

"In small doses, pride can be a useful attribute to have. I'd say you certainly have the ability to become a pro hero."

"I know why you're so angry, Young Bakugou. Because of Young Midoriya's sudden improvement, right? But you have to remember each of your rankings when the year first began. It's much easier to level up when you're a novice."

"Why?"

It was never pride. It was living up to the expectations thrust upon him. Every person he'd ever met had focused more on his Quirk than who he was. Eventually, Bakugou Katsuki became: a boy with a powerful Quirk, the future Number One Hero. That was what the world told him to be, so that's what he became. When faced with the idea of not being what every wanted, of letting them down- the facade cracked.

Grabbing Deku by the collar, he let off a high kick to his chin. Deku was quick to fling him back without outright hurting him.

"Why? Tell me!" Falling to his back, Bakugou felt his eyes burning as badly as his anger.

"Hey, are you alright?" Deku was quick to run forward and offer his hand. Just like years ago, Bakugou smacked it away.

"Don't you dare worry about me! Attack me!" Pushing himself to his feet, Bakugou let his arms hang by his sides as they ached in warning of overuse, "Why did I end up having to chase after someone who was always so far behind me? Why did a damn small fry like you get strong and become the Number One Hero's sidekick? His favorite?"

Bakugou was crying, and just... tired. Tired of existing the way he had, tired of not being enough anymore, "You got so much better and I destroyed All Might! I admired him so much, but it's because of me he lost his power. If I had been stronger- If I hadn't been kidnapped by villains- All Might knows it's my fault, but hasn't said anything. Everyone has to know, though. I can't get it out of my head. It's like it's constantly playing on loop! So what the hell am I supposed to do?"

Wide eyed and dumbstruck, Deku stayed silent. But then his stance changed into something defensive, and Bakugou knew that Deku was willing to fight now that he understood. Running forward, Bakugou was greeted with a kick to the face before he could strike.

Grinning at the pain blossoming across his jaw, Bakugou looked up to Deku. Covered in green lightning, the nerd finally lifted his fists.

Is this what you wanted? Did you want Bakugou to confront his emotions to make him unstable? Make him weak? But that didn't make sense, because for the first time since the start of the year it felt like Bakugou could see clearly. What did you want with him if it wasn't to take him out?

He'd worry about it later. At that moment, he had other things to focus on.

Moving quickly, Bakugou pushed through his fatigue to attack. He couldn't let Deku think. Plowing across the ground, Bakugou kept a keen eye on the air. Pushing himself up, he dodged a kick and landed a heavy blow to Deku's stomach.

Deku landed and dented a railing along the sidewalk. He tried to use the rail to his advantage, but Bakugou caught his arm and threw him across the street before he could do anything else.

Deku smiled, and Bakugou screamed, "What are you smiling about? Huh? I thought you weren't gonna be my punching bag!"

"I'm not!"

"I bet you've got some kind of plan up your sleeve! That's one of the things I hate most about you! I can never tell what you're thinking! No matter how much I beat you up, you always come back! It's obvious you've always looked down on me! Ever since we were kids. You think you're better than me. But if you seriously believe you're gonna surpass me as a hero, even with your new power, you better think again, Deku!"

"Wait, is that what you actually believed, all this time?" Bakugou's hearing sucked thanks to his Quirk, but he could hear Deku's voice clearly at this moment, "If I looked down on you, I wouldn't want anything to do with you anymore. But I'm still here. I noticed things you couldn't all these years because I had nothing at first. There were things I hated about you sure, but I could clearly see how amazing you were. You had so much going for you that I didn't have. All Might was my hero, but you were the one actually in my life!"

He's faster than before, Bakugou thought as Deku sprinted forward for a kick, I can't dodge, gotta block.

Raising his arms, Bakugou grunted under the force of his kick. He was sure he had a fracture at the very least, but the extra adrenaline in his veins held back the pain.

"I thought you were incredible Kacchan, I wanted to see what you'd become. That's why I kept chasing after you!"

The pair went back at each other full force. Kicks and punches. Lightning and fireworks. There was no stopping them. They'd fight until one of them went down. Bakugou made sure Deku felt as much heat as he did raw power.

"Is that all you've got?" Deku yelled after a mis-timed explosion.

I've got the advantage in the air, Bakugou thought to himself, shooting himself up.

Deku was above him, but that didn't matter. Bakugou had a plan until he noticed Deku's arm lighting up. The harsh punch to his face sent pain through the other side of his jaw.

"I won't lose to you!"

Flipping their positions midair, Bakugou set off an explosion above them that launched them into the ground. Panting, in pain, and bloody, the two of them took a few moments to catch their breath as Bakugou held Deku on the ground.

He won. Bakugou won. In some ways he felt better and in others he felt worse. But all in all, his thoughts had been processed and he didn't feel like a pot waiting to boil over.

"That's it. We're done here. I won this fight. You have All Might's power, but even using his strength after making it your own you still managed to lose to me. Why? How could you lose?"

"Stop this right now, both of you," the two turned to the man they'd been screaming about for god knows how long, "I'm sorry, but I've heard what you've said."

"All Might," Bakugou let go of Izuku's face and wrist.

"When'd you get here?"

"I didn't notice before. I should have."

"It's too late now," Bakugou grumbled. You noticed before ALl Might, but the pro had more on his plate than mentally torturing a UA student, "Why did you pick Deku? It started when the sludge villain came, didn't it? So why him?"

"He was powerless, but still more heroic than anyone else," that sent a pang through Bakugou's heart, but he pushed it aside because he knew it was true. Being the strongest didn't matter if you weren't good at heart, "I knew you were strong, that much was obvious. You were someone who could already fight. So, I decided that he should have a chance to stand in the ring."

"But now you know I'm weak, too. I always wanted to be like you which meant being as strong as possible. But look what I did to you because I'm not good enough."

"This is not your fault Young Bakugou," All Might assured gently, "I was always going to lose my power. You couldn't do anything to change that. You are strong, but I focused too much on your physical strength and I overlooked what was important," All Might pulled Bakugou to his chest, and Bakugou couldn't find it in himself to fight against it, "This isn't you burden. I apologize. Sometimes I forget that you're children."

Children. Children and they were fighting for their lives. Children and they were forced to face the world for what it truly was. Children and they had more on their shoulders than anyone else. Children... children and you became a villain.

"When you've been a hero for so many years, you learn a few things. Striving to be the best, like you, Young Bakugou. And caring for other people and rescuing those in trouble, like you Young Midoriya. Both of those things are necessary to be a hero. Otherwise they'll never truly be able to represent justice. That's why you admire his strength so much, Young Midoriya. And I know that's why you've always feared his heart and spirit, Young Bakugou. Now that you've laid your feelings out on the table, maybe you can understand each other. You have a mutual respect and focus on making one another stronger, and I have no doubt you can become the ultimate heroes, winning and saving people at the same time."

Bakugou and Deku looked at each other. They had a long way to go, and things would never be the way they were before Bakugou's Quirk appeared, but at least they could take steps forward either way.

"Dammit. That's not what I wanted to hear," flopping to the ground, Bakugou knew it wasn't what he wanted, but what he needed. He looked to Deku, "You. You had the strongest guy in the world lay out the groundwork for you. Don't you dare lose again."

"I'll work harder, so I can beat you."

Sighing, Bakugou wanted to sleep, "Okay. So who knows about you two? Recovery Girl and Principal Nezu do. As far as students go, only you."

And (Y/n), Bakugou thought. Somehow you figured it out before anyone of the other villains. It had to be related to your Quirk. You could probably see the connection between All Might and Deku. Knowing Bakugou should tell All Might and Deku about the fact that a villain knew, he bit his tongue instead, Dammit. What's stopping me? If (Y/n) knows then they're both in danger. Still... no one has gone after Deku yet. (Y/n), at the moment, is keeping it a secret for some reason.

"And you don't want this to get out, cause that would be bad." As bad as the second-in-command of the League of Villains knowing, "Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me. I won't tell anyone what's going on. Unlike Deku I can keep my mouth shut. This will stay between us."

"Thanks, Kacchan."

"I don't deserve this. I should be down on my hands and knees begging you to keep this a secret for me, and here you are being considerate. Thank you."

"I'm not doing this for you. It would just be a real pain if this got out and messed stuff up."

"Now that it's come to this, I can explain what's happened between me and Young Midoriya. It's only fair."

Bakugou sat through the whole story. About how One for All began and how it was passed down. How All Might was injured by All for One before and was using his Quirk on borrowed time. It all made more sense, and Bakugou kicked himself for not realizing it before.

When all was said and done, the three started walking back to the dorms. Something caught Bakugou's eye, a flash of green light on top of one of the buildings. Son of a bitch.

"If this got out then people would start wondering where the power is. You idiot, what were you thinking when you first told me this?" Bakugou quickly turned away from you. He wasn't sure how long you'd been there, but it would be any good to point you out now (he told himself, whilst knowing telling was gravely important).

"It was my own choice to use up the last of my abilities. I said this earlier but, it was in no way your fault."

"It doesn't change what I have to do."

"True. You're right about that."

"Things aren't gonna be the same, though, Deku. You got that? You've been watching me and everyone around you, absorbing what you see to get stronger. I can do the exact same thing and keep getting better myself. I'll go higher than even you, Chosen One."

"Right, then I guess I'll have to be better than that."

"You what?"

"I have to go higher than you."

"Dammit nerd, I just said I was gonna be the one to surpass you!"

"I know! And now I'm saying I'm gonna go beyond that level!"

"What?"

As soon as they finished being patched up by Recovery Girl, Aizawa was on them with his capture weapon like a vice. Bakugou expected a punishment, so he wasn't going to be upset about what it was unless it was expulsion. But Aizawa actually liked 1-A, no matter how much he denied it, so Bakugou didn't think that was going to happen.

"You fought the night of the preliminary licensing exam? I'm glad to see that you two have so much energy."

"Aizawa, wait. Hold up those restraints. It's my fault that they sparred in the first place."

"Huh? Your fault? How is that?" Aizawa sent the two students a glare that had them frozen in place.

All Might went up and whispered something to Aizawa that Bakugou knew was about him. He couldn't bring himself to care much.

"I understand that they felt they had to break the rules, but this isn't something I can just ignore. There must be a suitable punishment. Who threw the first punch?"

"I did," Bakugou stated.

"I also went pretty hard against him."

"You're both on house arrest. Four days for Bakugou and three for Midoriya. During that time you'll clean all the common areas in the dorm morning and night. Plus I want a written apology! That's all. Go."

Not wanting to stay behind in case Aizawa changed his mind, the pair scrambled to leave the infirmary and ran back to the dorms. Things remained silent between them, but the silence wasn't filled with tension anymore. It was just silence.

Giving each other similar nods when they seperated, the pair felt ready to sleep through their house arrest. When Bakugou got to his room, he was planning on washing his face and getting ready for bed, but a stray piece of paper caught his attention.

XXX-XXX-XXXX

Feel better? Don't bother giving this to the police, it's a burner. Ring me up sometime. I'd love to pick your brain some more.

Rolling his eyes and frowning deeply, Bakugou picked up his phone from his nightstand and put the number in his contacts all the same.