The Cutthroat shit was already the vision of my hood. That's where me and Vince from. So we just made an entertainment side.
-Joey Fatts

• Locked & Loaded •

Marcel
Long Beach, CA.

They walk me into the visiting area where I see Joey sitting and waiting on me. I sit across from him dapping him with my right hand. Honestly the only thing getting me through this bullshit was my visits, but even that wasn't enough because I only get one a week. "You good?" He asks. I could hear the concern in his voice and even on his face.

"I'm straight. How bout you?" I ask back.

"I'm good. Tryna stay sane and free cause these pigs tryna find anything to take my down. They can't find anything, so now they're pulling shit out of their ass."

"I heard you got arrested awhile ago. What happened with that?"

"Nothing pretty much. I got arrested in Texas, posted my bail then had a court date a month later. All they did was fine me. No jail time, probation or even community service. They tried though."

"You know they're gonna try every way they can to take you down, but you can't let them. Keep doing you and keep doing the right thing. If you never do wrong, what can they do?"

"Lie!" He says. I nod my head because that is true. "I'm just tryna provide for my family, that's all. I moved my Mom out of Long Beach, I have my brother in Texas at college that depends on me, I have two kids and one's a newborn and a fiancée. They need to cut the bullshit because I can't afford to be taken away from them."

"I heard that. You know I know what you mean. How's fatherhood treating you?" I ask as we both smile.

"Man, that shit is cool. Everyday is something new. That little boy, Stevie is a G. Jodie is getting bigger and bigger each day, it's crazy. I went to go see Matika and your Momma the other day. Marina is almost as big as Jodie now. And the new baby, Riva, she kinda look like you. I don't know if that's a good thing though," he says chuckling.

"Don't talk about my baby."

"I'm just saying. She look like Teek, but she has your eyes. Those big, round eyes."

"I know, Matika gave me some pictures of her. She's waiting a little while until she brings her to visit me. Have you seen or heard from Maurice's momma, Char?"

"Naw, you know I only saw her when y'all were friends. I just know she still with that one nigga and she still has her store in L.A. that's not too far from mine. I think she still lives in Long Beach, I'm not sure. She still hasn't brought Maurice to see you?"

I sigh saying, "You know she hasn't. She won't even take my calls, so I can talk to him. Like, who does that? I get it, I'm in jail, but let me talk to my son. You hid him from me for the first two years then bring him around just to keep him from me again. That shit pisses me off." I shake my head as Joey looks at me.

"I know that's gotta be hard. One day I might pop up at her store and see if I can have a convo wit her and talk some sense into her. She doesn't even have to bring Maurice to visit you herself. I can bring him or Matika."

"You know damn well she's not gonna let Matika bring him. Char pretends she's cool with Tika, but after that time she kissed me and Tika slapped her it hasn't been the same. It's been awkward ever since. You know I called her dude, Dominic cause we're kinda cool. I was able to get through to him before the own mother of my child. He said he's tryna get through to her, but she's hard headed."

"Damn, that's all bad," Joey says shaking his head. "I never would've thought you would have these problems. This seem like it should be my life," he says chuckling.

I laugh too. "You ain't lyin'. I thought you would be the one with a crazy baby mama, kids by more than one woman and in jail."

"Damn, that's how you envisioned my life?! You had very low expectations of me. That hurts."

I laugh saying, "I'm just being honest. You used to live recklessly. You can't lie about that."

"I guess you're right. Do you know when you're going to trial?" He asks.

"No idea and they denied my bail. There's no telling how long I'll be in here just sitting and waiting. I actually wanted to talk to you about something..."

"What?" He asks furrowing his eyebrows.

"My music. I need some money coming in to Matika for my kids. I know I have money coming in from my investments, which she's in control of, but I need more. The bulk of my money came from doing shows, which I obviously can't do right now. Artist don't make that much on albums or even streaming services, but it's better than nothing. I need you to talk to my manager, Corey and Def Jam about releasing some tracks I never put out. Make it into an EP and if I'm still not out then an album."

"Whatever you wanna do, I got you. I've also been giving Matika money. I added your name as one of the co-creators of Cutthroat Records, so now you get a cut of the money as a CEO."

I looked at him shocked, "You didn't have to do that. That's your shit. I haven't even been repping it as much as I should lately."

"We started this shit together. Me, you and Aston. I fucked that up by being disloyal. Even then you still didn't ask to get out of your contract and leave my label. Even when we weren't on speaking terms you were still on my label and I was still making money off of you. I owe you that much. It's for your kids."

"Thanks," I say dapping him. We're not even supposed to touch, but a lot of these C.O.'s don't pay close attention or they don't care.

A lot of people gave me shit for forgiving Joey for what he did years ago by setting me up, but I didn't care. I did what I thought was best. At the end of the day that's my blood cousin. All ya family doesn't have your best interest at heart, but I know when it's all said and done he has mine when he's in a right sound of mind. I know him better than anybody and the same goes for me.

We've both been through a lot and by the looks of it it's not stopping soon. Getting out of the hood and having money doesn't stop the problems. It actually makes it worse. We just have to see what happens. Nothing is guaranteed when it comes to freedom, happiness and life...

Dyme
Laguna Beach, CA.

I had just left a doctor's visit for Stevie and I was now driving down the highway towards Orange County. Jodie and Stevie are both in the backseat in their car seats as Unforgettable by French Montana played throughout the car. Stevie is now two months old and I'm not even going to lie it has been hard.

I go between being happy about life with no complaints to being extremely stressed and mad at the world. I guess that's expected with two small children, but some days it's really really bad. Some days I don't even want to get out of bed to do anything for myself or them, but I have to. Joey works a lot between his store and running a label and being at the studio. I'm pretty much a stay at home mom doing it alone and dealing with everything everyday. I don't even have time to write.

Yeah, I get help from Miss Shellie, but even that's not enough. Miss Edna helps too, but she has to help Matika with her two babies as well. Days like these I miss my mother, my brothers and especially Star. I'm lonelier than I've ever been.

As I drove across the bridge that's over a large body of water I envisioned myself driving right off the edge. With me and my babies in the car landing in the water. As the car sinks into the water it starts to fill with water completely submerging us. The doors won't open, but I don't even try to escape or save my babies. I just wait until all of our lungs are filled with water until we have drowned and it's over. Later on my car is pulled out of the water where they find three dead bodies. On the news the headline is 'Mother kills herself and her two small infants by driving off of a bridge.'

The longer I drove on the bridge, the longer I contemplated jerking the wheel and actually doing it. I look at the water then at my rear view mirror where I can see Stevie asleep in his car seat and Jodie kicking her legs to the beat of the song in hers. I look back at the water letting its movement mesmerize me by how blue it is. When I realize what the hell I'm thinking I quickly pull over to the side putting my car in park.

I hold onto the steering wheel with both of my hands gripping it tightly as my head falls. With no hesitation I break down crying. This isn't the first time I've had thoughts like this since Stevie was born. One day he was crying and I couldn't get him to stop. I was tired running on only a couple of hours of sleep with no help. I wanted to throw him at the wall like a damn football if that meant he would stop crying.

Then there was the time I was standing on the balcony of the second floor of our house holding Stevie. I wanted to just throw him over like he was nothing. Or the time I had a tea kettle of hot water. I walked into the living room seeing Jodie and Stevie imagining myself throwing the hot water all over them as their screams filled my ears with no care. The list went on and on. Whenever I thought everything was better and I wasn't having those thoughts anymore they would come back. I would never want to hurt my kids.

After wiping my tears I put my car back in drive and pull off. Once I get to Matika's house I get out then open the backseat door. I unbuckle Jodie from her car seat helping her out then I get Stevie out grabbing my baby bag. I go up to the door ringing the doorbell frantically out of impatience tapping my foot as I wait. As soon as Miss Edna opens the door I hand Stevie over to her catching her off guard. "Can you please watch them for me for awhile?" I say grabbing Jodie's hand guiding her inside.

"Yeah, that's no problem. Is something wrong?" I just shake my head making her look at me with concern. "Do you need to come inside and talk?" When I don't say anything as tears stream down my face Miss Edna puts her hand on my shoulder guiding me inside. "Come on. Stop crying, sweetie." We go to the living room sitting on the couch then she asks, "What's wrong? Talk to me."

I wipe my face saying, "I just can't. I'm going crazy. It's too much. I could barely handle one now I have two. I'm not cut out for this...to be a mother. I would never hurt my babies, but I keep having thoughts as if I want to. I don't want to end up doing something I can't take back. Something I'll regret."

"Explain to me what exactly is going on..." I told her everything. Everything I've thought and felt since I've had Stevie. She sighs saying, "Why didn't you say something sooner? You have postpartum depression. No wonder you lost that pregnancy weight so fast. You're so skinny and look tired as hell. Even the fact you haven't been able to sleep. It's completely normal. I had it after my first pregnancy when I had Monica as a teenager. It's normal, but you have to tell someone so they can help you."

"How do you stop it?" I ask. She hands me a tissue and I wipe my face then blow my stuffed nose from all the crying.

"You can go to therapy, take medication or it'll just eventually go away. You have to go to the doctors to be diagnosed to make sure it's not something else. The first step is getting some time to yourself, relaxing and getting some rest. Tell Joey, so he can watch them for once. Me and Shellie can watch them too. You just go home and get some sleep. I'll watch them for the rest of the day and then I'll call Joey to come pick them up. Alright?"

I nod my head saying, "Okay. Thank you so much. I don't know what I would do without you."

I hug her then she says, "It's no problem. You'll get through this. Even if it doesn't seem like it, you will. Don't feel guilty either because everyone knows you love your children." She sends a smile my way, so I smile a little too. I get up from the couch kissing Stevie on his head who Miss Edna is holding in her arms. I then kneel down to Jodie who is sitting on the floor kissing her. I leave going back out to my car. I sit there for a minute taking a deep sigh then start my car and put it in reverse to back out of the driveway.

Joey
Los Angeles, CA.

After my visit with Marcel I headed to L.A. to check on my clothing store. Once I get there I park around back using the back door. I walk down the hall going to my office unlocking the door. I walk in flicking the light on heading straight to my safe that's in the corner. I take my Supreme backpack off of my back then kneel down putting the code in. Once it's open I reach to the back grabbing the gun I kept for protection dropping it into my backpack. I was getting rid of all my guns that weren't registered. I wasn't taking any chances with this investigator watching my every move just waiting on me to slip up once.

I kept guns for protection, but now that would have to come to a stop. If some crazy shit pops off, I'm just out of luck.

When I hear a knock at my office door I turn around to see Trell who I hired to be the manager of my store, Cutthroat la. "When did you get here?" He asks stepping in.

"Just now. Everything okay today?" I say standing up zipping my backpack back up.

"Yeah. We sold out of the Reaper t-shirts, but I already put an order in for more."

"That's good," I respond.

"Um, Trell, you might wanna come to the front." I look up to see Jazmine, one of the sales associates say from behind Trell. "Oh, I didn't know you were here, Joey."

"Yeah, what's going on?" I ask.

"The police are here. They're asking for either the working manager or the owner. I guess since you're here you can talk to them."

I furrow my eyebrows wondering why the police are here, but I don't say anything. I didn't want them to get worried. I stand there for a second. What do I do with the backpack? If they're here to arrest me or just harass me because Detective Reed sent them it's not a good idea to have a gun on me. I put the backpack under my desk pushing it as far back as I can. "I'm coming," I say walking around my desk pulling my shirt down.

I walk out of my office down the hallway. Sure enough I see two cops looking around my store as people are shopping. This is embarrassing as hell. I clear my throat saying, "Can I help you?"

They both look at me then one cop says, "Are you the owner of this store or the manager?"

"Owner," I reply.

"Joey Vercher?" He asks next I guess to make sure. I nod my head crossing my arms over my chest. "We have a warrant to search the premises," he says holding it up.

"Warrant? To search? For what?" I ask looking at him like he's crazy.

"You're under investigation for using this as a front to sell narcotics. If we could ask that everyone step outside while we conduct the search."

"Let me see that," I say pointing at the warrant. He hands it to me and I scan my eyes over it reading it. I bite the side of my mouth trying to contain my anger.

I pass it back to him then he announces, "Please, if everyone could step out." Everyone looks around confused then at me. I motion for them to come, so they do. I hold the stores door open for everyone. When the last person walks out I let the door shut following behind them. I watch as more police go in with even one of those drug detection canines. They can't be serious. I haven't touched, looked at or sold drugs in years. I damn sure wouldn't be doing it out of my clothing store. You don't mix legal money with illegal money. Once you intertwine the two you risk losing it all. Even I know that.

As soon as I lean against the wall that we have a mural of Yams, my brother, my Dad and Lil Lotty painted on, I remember the gun. "Shit," I mumble to myself as I lift my hat off of my head using the other hand to rub over my hair. I needed a haircut badly, but things have just been hectic. I turn my hat around putting it back on my head. Now I was worried. I was hoping and praying they didn't find it.

"What's going on? Why are they searching the place?" Trell asks as he approaches me.

"I don't fucking know," I grumble. "They're not gonna find anything." Even I wasn't sure of that. The gun was unregistered and that was a given that I would be arrested if they found it. What I don't know is if I would get off as easy as I did in Texas with that weed. At least I know for a fact if they find the gun and they run tests on it, it won't be linked to any murders or anything like that.

They were taking so long searching I got tired of standing up, so I sat on the ground putting my back up against the wall. I called Dyme to let her know what's going on, but she didn't answer my call or my texts. From how long it's taking I knew they were searching the place from top to bottom looking for anything and everything. Knowing them if they can't find anything they'll get petty and point out some shit like code violations for like a crack in the wall.

I try calling Dyme again. It's ringing as I hold my phone to my ear when a cop approaches me holding a zip-lock bag with the gun in it. They found it. My stomach sinks then I lower my phone from my ear hanging up. "We found this in a backpack in an office. Your office I presume. Do you have a license to carry?" He asks as I stand up from the ground.

"No, sir." Despite me not liking the police, I'll still show respect if that'll help me get out of my predicament.

"Well, from my understanding you are a felon meaning you are not supposed to have this." He hands the bag with the gun to another cop. I knew that. After catching that charge in high school when I was 18 for robbing someone at gunpoint I became a convicted felon. Then when I got the possession of an illegal substance charge in Texas that was a misdemeanor. The conditions of that were that I couldn't be caught with any drugs or a gun again or I'll be arrested. "Okay, well, I'm going to have to place you under arrest." I'm not gonna lie this officer is kinda nice. At least he wasn't an asshole like most I've encountered.

As he gets his handcuffs out I turn around and put my hands behind my back. A part of me was expecting this. He put me up against the wall reading me my rights as he put the cuffs on me. I know that detective had something to do with this. There's no other reason they would have to randomly come search my store.

As they put me in the back of the police car I look out of the window. This has got to come to a stop. Now he's fucking with my money because I know they're gonna close my store. One thing you don't do is fuck with my money. I worked too hard to gain financial freedom. He's playing with my kids by taking food out of their mouths, clothes off of their back and a roof over their heads. I refuse to be broke again for my families sake. This detective has to be stopped...

Dyme going through postpartum? Joey getting arrested? Comment / Vote💙⚔️