Alana

No matter what I did, Andrew continued to wail in my arms. The people on the other side of the aisle passed me pointed looks, as if to say give the baby his nipple. I wondered how I was going to handle eight hours of flight if my son wasn't going to cooperate.

I hugged Drew closer, "Shh, baby. It's okay. We are going to meet your daddy, aren't you excited to see him?"

Minnie shifted in her seat, she was reading a book on her iPad. She stashed the gadget away and raised her hands towards me. "May I try?"

I shrugged and handed her the wailing baby, she hugged him closer, and started speaking baby language, "There, there. Don't you wan to meet daddy, baby brother?" he giggled. "Let me give you a kiss." She kissed him noisily on his cheek.

I stared at her in disbelief. Some passengers clapped in the background and even cheered. Minnie passed me a look of triumph. The other passengers threw me a hard look.

Great. I'd almost gotten my hair pulled out from the roots and now I was a bad mommy with nil parenting skills. Even though Drew was already one and a half, I wanted to smack his smug face, but his cute gooey mocha eyes melted me into a puddle, and his cute giggle and the dimples proved that it was a good decision of marrying Rowan. He had given me the cutest baby on this planet.

Eight hours of a long journey from Carmel to Denmark were passing excruciatingly slow, mostly because I'd waited four long months since I last met Rowan. We did promise to meet every two-three months but this time, we just couldn't. We also promised to see each other on Skype every single day, but then again, things got in the way.

Rowan and I sometimes quarreled over little things, and one day, he said, 'Alana, it's best we don't talk to each other for a few days. I think you need a break.'

You being the operative word here.

But I mostly blamed myself for the fighting, between studying, sitting for exams and taking care of Drew, I thought I might lose it. The stress was too much, and Rowan wasn't here to help me out and it made it all worse because at night when we talked on Skype I threw some facts into his face about how he wasn't doing what he was supposed to do which was being a good father and a husband by being here with me and I guess that hurt him a lot more than anything that ever would.

I didn't mean it that way. I never meant to call him a bad father or a bad husband outright, but I'd been way over my frustration when he saw my term paper and began lecturing me over a video call about the importance of studying. He acted like he was still Mr. Masters, like I was his reckless student.

Some habits die hard, I guess.

And then it ticked me off. In the heat of the moment, I said, maybe my grades would have been better if I hadn't been pregnant at twenty before marriage.

I'd said it like the pregnancy was his fault; like he had spoiled my life, as if Drew wasn't supposed to happen and all of that was not true. I would never take back what happened. But, it was too late to regret the words that had left my mouth. I was guilty and I'd cried myself to sleep, pulling Drew closer and whispering to him that he was the best thing that ever happened to me.

And it wouldn't hurt to admit, Rowan had been pretty calm about it. I read those eyes though, I knew the storm hidden behind the calmness. He didn't say anything, even after my repeated attempts at apologizing. After that day, he only answered calls to talk to Minnie or Drew.

So here I was flying to Denmark to make things right and end the cold war. When I reached the institution, I told them not to inform him and that I wanted it to be a surprise. Minnie, Drew and I were standing at his room door, Drew in my arms, my fingers hovering over the door to knock. I was so scared how he would react.

Before I could chicken out, Minnie banged on the door and we waited. The door swung open and he looked at us like he couldn't believe we were standing right there. His eyes shifted from Minnie, towards me and then at Drew. He blew out a breath. "Wow. Guess I've started becoming delusional."

"Rowan, We are really here." I said.

As if he couldn't believe my words, he touched my cheek and his eyes softened. He lifted Drew into his arms and kissed him hard on his forehead, hugging Minnie close with his other arm. "It's so good to see you guys."

"I missed you, Daddy." Minnie said.

"I missed you, too, baby girl."

I stepped back. I felt out of place all of a sudden. So, Rowan was going to hold his guns. The thought of calling it a truce went out the window. Of course I should have expected this to happen. Did I expect my husband to forget the ugly words I'd spewed out and hold me close?

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

Just then he noticed me lingering at the doorstep like a lost kitten, he smiled, "Come here, baby."

My lower lip quickened as I lunged forward into his arms. I felt nostalgic, his familiar scent continued to assault me; it seemed like he was fresh out of the shower. He smelled of soap and aftershave. I buried my face in his shirt front, breathing him in. I asked myself, will I ever get used to this?

When I'd completely soaked his shirt with my tears, I glanced up. The children were settled on his bed, Minnie using Rowan's laptop. He turned to her, "Minnie, did you check out the recreational room?"

Minnie shook her head.

"They have a gaming booth there and even some toys that Drew can play with. Will you give us some time here, sweety?"

Minnie glanced from me to Rowan. "Does that mean you are going to make out here?"

"Minnie! Come on, sweetheart, don't be like that." He said.

"Only on one condition, Drew stays here."

Rowan nodded. "Okay."

"Alright. I'll give you twenty minutes to swap spit and I'm coming in after that." Minnie laughed and walked out of the room closing the door behind us.

Drew sat on the carpeted floor, talking in baby language and salivating over the pages of a brand new diary.

I looked around the room, it was a small cozy room with a single window to my left. A queen sized bed where I was seated on, a study table on the right where the laptop remained propped up. Papers, some books and diaries. There was also a flat screen. Another door right beside the table. I assumed that was the bathroom. I liked the place, there was Rowan written all over it. He was always such a neat-freak.

"This room is better than your last one." I pointed out.

He nodded.

"You've lost weight." I said.

Rowan chuckled. "This place doesn't make me happy. I'm just doing what needs to be done."

I moved closer to him and took his hand in mine. "I know what I said to you was completely despicable, but I want you to know that I don't mean those things." Tears trickled down my face. "I'm so sorry, Rowan. I really am."

He wiped my tear with the pad of his thumb. "I know you didn't mean it."

"I would never ever take back what happened with Drew. He is the best thing that has happened to me and I thank you for that." I placed my head on his shoulder. "I was frustrated with the situation, and so lonely, I know it's not a good excuse but I just want you to know how guilty I'm feeling right now."

Rowan pulled me closer and his fingers drew patterns on my back. "What you said to me were really mean things. If you hadn't been pregnant that time, our baby wouldn't have existed."

"I..."

He placed his finger on my lips. "Let me finish, baby."

"You know, when Lauren left me, I was in a bad place. I didn't eat for days, and I kept asking myself why it happened. Then, when I had Minnie in my life, when I found you, baby, it all started to make sense." He kissed my hands, my cheeks and my forehead. "Everything fell back into place because I realized it happened for a reason. And I'm happy with you right now, Alana. I wouldn't change anything for the world."

I smiled. "Thank you for forgiving me." It still didn't take away from my guilt, but made me feel better.

I kissed his lips, it was just a teasing peck. Rowan chuckled, "You don't get to tease me and get away like that."

Rowan's hand automatically wound around my neck as he tugged me back for another kiss. His lips softy pressed to mine and slowly his tongue entered my mouth. I moaned, running my fingers through his brown curls, his hair had grown longer than usual, kind of long enough for me to grasp in a fist.

He pulled back gasping and laughing, "This is against the institution rules."

"Well, I'd always been the rule breaker."

Rowan pointed at the surveillance camera at the top corner of the room. "Sofia is going to enjoy show."

"I'm your wife, so it's not like I'm doing something illegal." I reminded him. "Besides, I'm meeting my husband after four months and we haven't even had sex for a long time, how horny do you think I am?"

Rowan laughed and I traced lazy circles over his palm. Shyly, I said, "I love you." Like he didn't know that.

"I love you, too, and it's going to stay that way forever."

A few minutes later, Minnie barged in and we only got a few more minutes together.

"So, where are you guys staying?" he asked.

"It's a hotel just a block away, we bought a suite." I grinned, picking Drew up from the floor where he had created a mess for Rowan to clean up later.

"A suite?" Rowan asked.

"So that you and Alana could bump uglies." Minnie said. She sometimes called me mom and sometimes by my name, it depended on her mood.

I was so embarrassed.

Rowan stared at her incredulously, and looked at me. "What do they teach these days at school?"

****

Rowan

My therapist, Sofia was quite amused by the footage. Thank goodness I'd only kissed her, although it had been initiated by Alana. She was always the first person who pressed the wrong buttons at the wrong places. Sofia did me a huge favor by allowing me two days with my family and that meant I could stay with them at the suite.

It's not like Alana hadn't done sightseeing before, but now it was different. She and I were married and that changed a lot of things. I took them to the amusement park and the kids enjoyed a lot, then we went to a nice restaurant for dinner and it got pretty late by the time we came back to the hotel.

Minnie was already dozing off so I carried her back to the suite and into the attached room, and placed Drew on our bed amid a sea of cushions. Alana eyed our baby who was snoring. I pulled her towards me.

She stood between my thighs, feeling my hard-on with her fingers. She hadn't even kissed me and I was already turned on.

Alana rubbed her fingers slowly over my hard-on. My eyes almost rolled back as I whispered "Oh, baby."

I didn't waste time as I peeled the clothes off her body, taking off my own. We were in a frenzy of desperate touching, kissing and biting and then I was finally inside her.

Alana threw her head back. She was always vocal so I kissed her hard on her mouth and whispered, "Baby, try not to scream. You are gonna wake up Minnie." I glanced at the sleeping baby, "Or Drew."

When she heard Drew's name, she controlled herself. She knew if that little brat woke up, there was no sex and definitely no sleep.

We were done almost too soon, and when I pulled out, I felt an empty void spread through me. It just wasn't enough. Alana wrapped her arms around me under the covers and kissed my hardened pecks. I sighed.

"Are you up for round two?" I whispered in her ears.

She giggled and Drew started to make baby noises and suddenly started wailing.

"Drew disagrees."

It didn't matter if Drew agreed or disagreed, he stopped wailing as soon as he began drinking his dose of milk. We dozed off and I got to have round two at the crack of dawn.

They were just here for two days and that wasn't enough time with my family. When they were leaving, I swore myself not to cry like a damn sissy but it wasn't easy to keep up that charade when Alana held me tightly in a hug, I thought she would cry like last time but she didn't and it surprised me.

I smoothed her hair and whispered, "You're not crying, I hope someone else isn't waiting for you back in Carmel."

She punched me playfully, and knew I was kidding. She cupped my face, went up on her heels and pecked my lips. "I'm not crying because I know you belong with me now, and that you are coming home soon."

"Home." I repeated. Home where there wasn't just an empty apartment waiting. There was Alana now, Minnie and Drew. The only people in my life who kept me grounded.

"Please eat well, baby, you look thin." She said.

I nodded. "I will."

Minnie hugged me one last time and if I damn near wasn't going to start brawling. I kneeled down to her level. I kissed her hand. "Sweetheart, please take care of your mom and your brother for me."

Minnie nodded. "I will."

I kissed her forehead. "I love you, you're my good girl."

She smiled, then I hugged Drew one last time and Alana had to practically pull him from my arms. They were getting late.

Alana squeezed my hand as she realized the type of worries that boggled my mind. "We will be fine, Rowan. Don't worry about us."

I nodded. "Lock your doors at night, don't go out alone after seven and the same goes for the kids."

She assured me, and then she let go off my hand. She was good at hiding her disappointment but didn't say a word because she knew I was doing this for us. They waved at me before disappearing through the airport entrance.

I went back feeling happy and sad at the same time. Happy that I'd had the best two days I could have asked for, and sad because it wouldn't be another two months before I went home.

Back in the cab, I reached for my meds and stared at it for a good few minutes willing for all the bad thoughts to go away and thinking of all the positive things. The phone buzzed in my pocket, I received a text.

Alana: Missing you already baby <3

I typed.

Me: Come back to me.

Alana: I'm always with you, like a ghost, like your shadow, as creepy as it may sound, I still doddle hearts around our names.

I laughed and didn't even realize when I pushed the meds back into my pocket.

THE END 

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