It's an open house party. The random swarm of boys and girls keeps sweeping in through the front door, and I recognize most of them from university. The house is getting crowded every passing minute, the air hazy with smoke. I'm already suffocating, if not the crowd, then definitely due to the look Adrian is giving me.

Since I've arrived at the party, Liam has been kept away from me by his captain. Of course, that's what Adrian does. He keeps sabotaging my chances with guys like Liam. No strings attached, no commitment type. But I don't want anything other than that either. I've tried falling for the other, and it left me with a sore heart. The love which lasts forever, I can't imagine having that with anyone who isn't you, Augustus.

Then there's this ugly anxiety in my chest that keeps howling from within. In the evening, while I was getting ready for the party, my mom called. She had an unexpected edge on her voice. It almost made my heartbeat stop. For a second, her desperate sighs turned my stomach, and I wanted everything to shut down. But then, when she said we're still waiting for the test results, I felt my heartbeat once again.

"They want to do another MRI tomorrow morning," Mom's voice was shaky and low. "It's still too early to confirm if it's a tumor or not. Your dad seems to disregard the possibility, but I'm scared."

I swallow the lump forming up in my throat and press a hand against my chest to subside the dull ache. I hope my dad's test results turn out negative. He's too young to have cancer. I want him to be there when I need my dad, and I need him in every important decision of my life. I need him. Mom and Daisy need him.

The thick feeling crawls up my throat. I force myself to find something, anything among the flickering green and red neon lights, the smell of alcohol, booming noise of the bass, and bodies moving, grinding against each other, but nothing takes away the pain. Not even the electrifying vibrations of the music thumping through my bones.

The world around swirls faster, and I feel tangled up in a heap of chaotic emotions. I shouldn't have agreed to be here. It's not the place or time for me to be here. Parties had never been my choice of places, but then one look at the girl across the hall, dancing and laughing through her heart, one can tell there's nowhere else Olivia would rather be.

My fingers fist on the soft fabric of the wrap dress I'm wearing. Olivia chose this dress for me, a little too perfectly hugging the dips and curves of my body, exposing enough skin around my neck and thigh down. I would have never agreed on wearing it if it wasn't in a shade of deep violet.

I look down at the punch in my solo cup, and I assume it has been spiked and, without giving another thought, gulp it down in one go. The burning sensation that follows isn't enough to take away the panic grating against my heart and mind. When I move to the back corner of the room, I feel the warm salty liquid dripping down my cheek, and I wipe them with the back of my hand. I can't lose my shit in public.

Save it for later.

The first person my eyes search for comfort is the boy with an everlasting scowl on his face, messy brown tuft sitting haphazardly on his head, the black T-shirt hugging his broad shoulder perfectly, paired with black jeans. A black chain hangs down his neck with the dog tag necklace. My lips tip upward with the knowledge that it's my gift he's wearing tonight. The one I gave him on his twenty-first birthday, one year back when we were still each other's comfort.

Oh, God! I crave his comfort every single day. As I stand awkwardly against the wall, I wish he walks toward me and lets me know that I'm not alone. Why do I always crave people I love to stay by my side when they don't want to?

As an add-on to my misery, I watch Charlotte brushing past me intentionally and going straight to the soccer team. The moment she looks over her shoulder and gives me one of her mean girl smirk, I feel like showing her my middle finger, but I give her a tight-lipped smile instead. The image of her kissing Adrian on his cheek after the last game flashes in front of my eyes. She bends down, holding the back of the couch, and kisses his cheek. My eyes lock into his green ones as Charlotte says something in his ears and sits on his lap.

Charlotte looks stunning tonight with her long blonde hair and her finely curved body. My chest feels itchy as she caresses his chin, and I don't know why I turn away from looking any further. It feels kind of a double standard for him to stop me from dating Liam when he's all touchy so openly with every other girl who throws herself at him. I take a moment to gather my emotions, releasing a deep breath that's still stuck in my throat.

The speaker blares the latest pop song. The sharp volume accompanied by the trip result of another two shots of spiked punch makes my head hum with the music. I rest my head backward on the wall for a second when a pair of bulky arms wrap themselves around my waist.

"Liam!"

"Sorry, beautiful, for making you wait so long," he slurs out and doesn't give me enough time to react as he turns me around, hugs me tightly, lifting me off the ground.

"Liam, please put me down now!" I shout in his ear, music making it difficult to capture the edge in my voice. I'm beyond shocked by his sudden closeness but try to excuse him just this once.

I place my arms on his shoulder as he puts me back on my feet, and behind him, I notice Adrian. He's off the couch, Charlotte brushing her hair in confusion and looking at him as he glares in my direction.

Liam tips his head in front of me and grins. "I wanted to have a moment with you alone since you arrived at the party. This dress looks so sinful. You've no idea how much I regret not asking you out sooner."

I've no mind whatever he says, but I give him a small smile. "You haven't asked me out yet. You just invited me to your house party and then ignored me all evening. I think it's rude."

We walk over to the drinks table and grab another set of punches. Liam drinks from his cup and leans closer to my ear, brushing my hair away from my shoulder. "Give me a chance to rectify that."

Liam puts my drink down and pulls me onto the dance floor. And not a moment later, I see Adrian on the floor too with an over-excited Charlotte, dancing around him. She's moving her slender frame sensually, grinding herself on his front.

I lose my mind, not sure what's the reason for this sudden fire that's surging through my nerves. It's a combination of both past and present. The night of the fundraiser reels in my mind as I sway to the music. I remember how my eyes were on you, Augustus, as I danced for you to watch, then later how you broke Jamie's nose for trying to kiss me forcefully.

As music infiltrates my hazy mind, I remember how that night we kissed. It was my first kiss, you're my first kiss, Augustus, and I wanted you to be my first in everything. But that was the night when you broke my heart too. You left me, Augustus, and my heart never stopped loving you even after all this time. I need to stop myself from living with you over and over again. It hurts so much. I want to move on, Augustus, or at least fail while trying.

I feel Liam's body against my back, his arms circle around my waist, and then we are consumed in smoke.

He takes me away from the dance floor to the far end of the hall, and I wonder if Adrian is watching or he is too busy dirty dancing with Charlotte. I've nothing in my mind except the caving pain in my chest and desperation to feel anything except heartbroken. So, when he pulls me into one of the dimly lit rooms, I let him. But the moment his half-lid eyes roam around my body, I break free from his hold and wander into the room.

It's a typical college boy's room with a queen-size bed that occupies half of the space inside, along with a dresser on the far end wall and a desk with all the electronic equipment. A sudden wave of nausea hits me, and I sit on the bed for a second.

As I whirl around to check on the guy who came in with me, he closes the door and faces me with a lop-sided grin. My heart jumps up to my throat, and suddenly it feels like the most stupid decision of my life. But then there isn't anywhere else I would rather be. The thought of going downstairs and watching Charlotte grinding her hips against Adrian makes my gut twist in a tangled knot, neither does drowning in anxiety over my father's health condition seem so appealing. And then the memory of you, definitely a no-go for me. So, I'll take my chances with Liam. After all, this is what I want. I want to move on from this love that keeps hurting every single day.

"It's not my room if you're wondering," Liam says. "It's my brother's, and I didn't lock the door. So, you can relax."

He takes slow steps towards the bed, and I shift towards the farthest end, my legs hanging from the edge. I need a little space and time to reconsider everything.

"This is the only place where your bodyguard won't forsake our chance to form a connection." He winks, but it only enrages me.

"Don't call him that. He's my best friend, and he has every right to be mindful of me." I wipe my sweaty palms on my lap as anxiety floods my mind.

"I never had to wait so long to ask out a girl in my life. If it were not for Adrian's mindfulness, I would already have you." He raises a brow at me and sits beside me on the bed. "I've never put this much effort in any girl. Girls usually don't even wait to be asked out."

"Well, you experienced something new then." I grit out a smile.

"Violet," he leans a little closer. "This is why you make me crazy every time I look at you."

I already dread the idea of letting him have my company. The anxiety of not having any experience with guys is unavoidable as the heat of his body inches closer.

It's normal.

Just give him a chance.

You can do it.

God! I can't do this.

When he places his hand on my thigh over my flimsy dress, I immediately know that it's not what I want. My body goes cold and rigid as his fingers run up and down my thigh, a little bolder this time. I snap my head in his direction, knowing instantly, he isn't the guy who cares about consent.

"Liam," I warn, placing my hand over his in a firm grip. "Please take your hand off of me."

He smirks, holding my wrist with the other hand, and moves his hand up to my hips. "Stop playing hard to get. I know this is what you want. Let's stop bullshitting about dating and all."

Every cell in my body repulses him, dread seeps through my fibers, and I tense up when his face dips down to my neck. As I grind my teeth, bracing myself to work on my defenses, he suddenly flies off the bed and onto the floor. It takes me a minute to recollect my senses and connect with whatever just happened. My eyes from Liam to the familiar six feet, two inches frame looming over him. From his deadly green eyes to his messy dark hair, Adrian looks intimidating as hell. All I can see is his back, his muscles tense, and his body stiff.

"Get your fucking hands off of her, Parker!" Adrian bellows, pulling him back on his feet with a hold on his shirt's collar. "Didn't I warn you to behave?"

Adrian's temper is a hot topic around the college, and everyone who knew him knew better than messing up with his head. But here's Liam, who is comparatively lean and less built, going after me. Of course, it's his doom right there.

"What the fuck, man! She wanted it too," Liam yells, trying to wriggle out of his hold.

Adrian snaps his head towards me, his eyes brimming with fiery disapproval, and the way he stares at me, I almost feel like digging a hole to bury myself.

"Look, man, if you guys are an item, just put that out in the open," Liam says, running a hand through his wild hair. "If you guys are friends with benefits, then it shouldn't be a problem if I have her too."

I get approximately two seconds to process Liam's words before Adrian's fist slams across his face.

"Goddammit!" Liam falls against the wall, holding his bleeding nose.

I cover my mouth as a gasp escapes and dash towards the angry, wild hunk of a guy, holding his shoulder to stop him from landing another punch at Liam.

"Adri, stop it! You already broke his nose." I glare at him.

"Get the fuck away from my face and consider yourself benched for the next game!" Adrian shifts his fiery gaze to me. "I told you if he touches so much as a hair of you, I'll finish him."

"Why? Only you have the privilege to get touches from Charlotte."

"What does Charlotte have to do with this?"

"Everything. So, you can date whoever you want, touch whoever you like, and I can't do the same. Maybe, I did want to be with Liam."

I hear a grunt as Liam curses under his breath, holding on to his broken nose, and slams the door shut as he rushes out of the room. I have zero sympathy for him, though. He deserved that punch for being a non-consensual prick.

"Well, congratulations for getting your control back on my life," I grit out, jabbing my index finger on his chest. "You finally succeeded in crossing Liam out of my dating list. And now, most likely, no one will ever want to be near me. They will either tag me as your fuck buddy or be scared to get their nose broken by you."

For a moment, he stares into my wild eyes, and I have to gulp down due to the feral look on his face. The flush on his face as he glares down at my finger still pressed to his chest, makes me pull my hand away. His fingers latch around my wrist, and I'm backed up against the wall.

I shudder under the heat radiating off his taut body as in two strides he's on me, our chest just an inch away from touching. My breath quickens, and my body goes rigid. I press my back some more against the wall as his hand tightens around my wrist, and then something shifts in him. He's heaving, and his warm breath hits my face every time he exhales. I can see him losing his control altogether. "Why V? Why do you need someone like Liam when your heart belongs to goldilocks?"

His words hit home, and I can't hold back the tears trailing down my eyes. "I want to move on, Adri. Can't you see I'm tired of waiting? But also, I can't stop loving Augustus. So, yeah, I'm miserable. I'm so fucking miserable that I let Liam kiss me."

The moment those words leave my mouth, his jaw goes rigid, and I swallow hard, looking into the raging depths of his eyes.

"Fuck!" He curses, gnashing his teeth, and his fist lands beside my head. "Where did he kiss you?"

I blink at him in confusion for a second but try to back away from his closeness. "On my neck, but it doesn't concern you, Adri."

His nostrils go wild with anger before he touches his nose to my neck. "God, I can smell him on your skin, and it so damn concerns me."

I should be pushing him away, but the moment his warm breath touches my skin, I'm on fire. Electrifying energy pulls me towards his light feathery touch as his nose keeps tracing a pulse on my neck. He releases my wrist, placing both his hands on the wall beside my head, his face still on my neck.

My heart races fiercely. My hands fist Adrian's T-shirt around his shoulders to keep our chests from crashing against each other. I have never felt something so powerful like this before, and my insides start burning up, throbbing with need. The worst part is I know it's not how you should feel around your best friend or someone who isn't in your heart. "Adri."

He releases a ragged breath against my neck and rests his forehead against my shoulder. "I can smell Liam on your skin and Augustus in your heart."

Dread knots in my stomach. Adrian's words feel like a sharp blade slashing my skin.

He steps away from my body, taking away all the warm and fuzzy feelings with him. My throat feels constricted as his icy gaze locks with mine, devoid of all the passion I saw in them a moment ago. He clenches his fists to his side. I don't give him the time to apologize as I walk past him, away from his comfort, away from something new and substantial.

Because Adrian is right, my heart still smells like you, Augustus, and I don't know what my soul smells like from this point onwards.

***

Author's Note: Beginning! It's the beginning of something new, guys. Let me know if you feel what Adrian and Violet are feeling? And do you think it's something worth protecting?