The Lost Note

Dear Andre,

The world may not work the same way you want it to be. But I hope that one day you'll remember what destiny is. But whatever your destiny is, I promise you its not in there. Its not in that place. I don't think it'll ever be.

But one thing I don't want is you beating yourself up with it. This whole thing, everything that happened, its not your fault.

Its what destiny and faith is. If you're still there, I'm sorry that all of this happened. One thing in the human mind is when we regret something, we feel guilt, and beat ourselves up with it. Its sad to think that people yell at themselves for things that isn't their fault, and they're upset and tired about it the next hour.

Thats not what I want for you.

That was never what I wanted.

I will never want you to kill yourself with thoughts and drown in your own misery. Whats done is done. And what happens, happens.

I could've said this earlier when I saw that you were stuck in there. You would knock on my door and pour your heart out to me. I would always ask why and you would say that it was a nightmare. I always responded with, "Its just a dream," but when I found out, I couldn't bare to think that that dream is a horrible reality. I never knew why, but now that I see why you've been hurting, I'm sorry that you were this scared.

I've always wondered what made you so touch deprived. Whether it was from one of our parents, or if it was because of a war inside your mind.

Which is why I'm writing this note to you.

The only winner in your mind is you.

No matter how bad that war gets, or no matter how much you think of the negatives, you're the winner. You own that mind, and everything is just inside your head.

I just wish you could've told me what was bringing you down all those times you would freeze and go pale.

I'm sorry we didn't get adopted together. I'm sorry if it'll take years for us to meet each other again. And I'm sorry if that little fight in your mind is still beating you up.

Even till now, I'm looking after you.

Even if it means writing a silly little letter you'll probably never find, I'll always look after you,

My brother, Andre

-Austin