Kata noticed Alex leave halfway through Monday's advisory, and when she had texted her about it, Alex said she had a doctor's appointment. However, the next day she seemed pretty off so Kata suspected something was wrong, especially since she thought she saw Alex wiping tears off her face as she ran from the library during the suicide lesson. She confronted her about it, and Alex said that she was sensitive to the subject of suicide and it was still fresh on her mind. Kata felt that there was something Alex wasn't telling her, but she didn't seem to want to say anything about it so Kata didn't push. Besides, by Wednesday Alex seemed mostly back to her normal self. Although, she was an actress so it was hard to tell.

Kata sat in math, making faces at Alex from across the room. Even from where she was Kata could tell that Alex was trying not to laugh, and she found it very enjoyable. Alex made a motion for Kata to stop, but Kata didn't feel like listening.

Alex: Yk if u don't stop we're probably not gonna be anywhere near each other in this new seating chart cuz Ms. Ono won't trust us to sit together

Kata rolled her eyes, not wanting to listen to her friend but she knew she was probably right.

Kata: *sighs and pouts*

Kata: Ur taking away my fun with ur logic

Alex: That's what I'm here for :)

Kata laughed and was trying to come up with a witty response when she was pulled out of her thoughts by Ms. Ono's voice. "Miss Adams, would you please put your phone away?"

A light red color dusted Kata's cheeks for a moment as she put her phone on her desk. Ms. Ono gave her a sweet smile as she put Kata's completed test- from last week- face down on her desk.

Kata swallowed hard. She was taking algebra 1 which was a high school course that they offered in middle school. However, it still counted towards Kata's high school GPA so her mother was even more intent on making sure she got perfect grades in the course no matter what. This also meant that if she got anything below an A, or even below 100, her life would be a living hell for at least a few days, more depending on how bad the grade was. Because of this Kata worried every time she looked at her grades, but she was especially worried about this particular test. She had studied like crazy, but she couldn't seem to put an equation with a graph, which is what this test covered. She felt so stupid for not understanding it, but no matter who taught it to her, the information would get scrambled up in her brain somehow and it ceased to make sense. She thought she was starting to get it, but she was still worried about her grade.

Kata finally flipped over the paper after staring at it for about a minute. She took a sharp breath in. "80," she whispered.

Her mother was going to kill her.

***

"Kata you okay?" Mr. Benj asked Kata, shaking her out of her thoughts and back to the scene going on in front of her that she was supposed to be taking notes on.

"Um yeah, I just..." Kata stopped, trying to find words. Mr. Benj looked at her with kind eyes, and maybe that was the reason she said what she did next. "Truth be told Mr. Benj I'm really struggling with the subject we're covering in math right now, and I got a grade on my test that my mother isn't going to like. I'm really not sure what I'm going to say to her." She paused, expecting Mr. Benj to say something about how it-will-all-be-okay-because-your-parents-will-always-love-and-support-you-so- if-you-get-in-trouble-who-cares bullshit, but he just stood there listening. He was actually listening to what Kata had to say instead of brushing her off as every other adult would. He didn't seem like he was going to say any of that fairytale nonsense to her. "My mother, she wants me to succeed, but she just wants that so badly. I feel like she uses me to make her look good. I'm like a trophy to her, so if I mess up even the slightest bit then-" I'm scared of what she'll do to me. Kata thought but didn't say that for two reasons. Reason number one being that she didn't want Mr. Benj to think her mother beat her because if he did she would have to then explain everything and how her mother made her feel all the time and while Mr. Benj was great, she really didn't want to have to do that. The second reason being that she didn't want Mr. Benj to tell her to see the school counselor. She already tried that. It didn't work or help her at all. Kata sighed. "I just sometimes" Always. "feel like I don't matter, only my success does."

Mr. Benj sat thoughtfully for a moment before speaking again. "Sometimes..." he paused searching for the right words. "Even when people love each other, they have a strange way of showing it. I know that there are parents out there who don't love their kids, but I also know that there's a much larger amount that does, and there are so many parents out there who love their kids more than anything. However, I also know that even when there is love, parents can show it in bad ways, like being overly-controlling. I don't know, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I get having parent problems, but don't mistake that for them not loving or caring about you unless something is very wrong, in which case you need to tell someone about it."

Kata sat, mulling over Mr. Benj's words. Part of her wanted to believe that her mother was only trying to look out for her, but the other part of her was finding it hard to think that when she just felt like shit at home all the time. She knew what was happening wasn't a good thing. It was wrong, and it wasn't just her "being a teenager" and "overreacting about the situation" like the school counselor had said.

Kata nodded slowly, still in thought. Mr. Benj gently took her stage manager binder from in front of her. "Why don't you go take a quick break? You're not helping the company or more importantly, yourself when your mind is focused on this. I'll have Carmen take notes for about ten minutes. Go clear your head, and if you ever need to talk, my door is always open."

Kata nodded again, and thanked Mr. Benj, then walked to the back of the cafeteria. She knew there was nothing she could really say to her mother that would get her out of trouble or make her any less mad, but she felt like she should have done better. In reality, Kata had done everything she could to learn the material, but she didn't feel that way. Shake it off. Kata thought. Worrying is only going to make you miserable, there's nothing you can do. Just get your mind off it.

While having this little conversation in her mind, Kata had been pacing, but her pacing was slowly turning into something else, her turns into pivots, her walking more graceful. She began doing the only thing besides for a show day or tech week, that could almost always take her mind off everything.
Dance.

Kata hummed Fight Song softly to herself and walked through the motions of the dance she had started choreographing not too long ago.

When tech week came, and everybody was working as hard as they could and you got almost no sleep, you just worked and drilled every little detail into your mind, it was the most tiring thing in the world, but also something Kata loved. Then when you got to opening night, you never felt ready, but you just had to trust that everyone knew what they were doing and that you could perform your job correctly. As soon as the lights came up, the curtain opened, the backstage was all abuzz, everybody in the company found an energy and a passion they didn't know they had. Those were the most stressful moments in theatre, and Kata, along with every other member in the cast always found themselves wondering why they put themselves through this. Then at the end of the show, the lights were dimmed, and you could hear the audience's thunderous applause, while everybody backstage had nothing but smiles on their faces, everyone would hug. Everyone would laugh. You realize that it was all worth it, and how much you enjoy what you're doing. You'd look around at everyone in the company, and feel the accomplishment of an amazing show, and you can't help but smile because you're home. That's when you realize, this, this is why I do this.

However, the show wasn't for another four weeks, so Kata used her other creative escape. As she continued walking through her dance, not daring to go full out on anything for fear someone would see her, she put more and more effort into the dance without realizing it. By the time she was almost to the end of the section she had choreographed she couldn't help but do a back sissone with at least half power. She jumped with only some of the full force she had, then kicked her back leg only about half of the height she knew she was capable of. She turned out of the jump, only to stop abruptly after hearing Alex's voice to the side of her.

"That was cool."

Kata's cheeks reddened with embarrassment. She turned to face the girl beside her who had a little smile displayed on her lips. "Um I was just uh-"

"What was it?" Alex asked, a curious expression taking over her face. Kata looked at her in confusion. "That move you just did," Alex clarified. "What was it? Also please say that's not something I'm going to have to do." Kata laughed, and her embarrassment was forgotten for the moment. Alex looked pleased with the fact that she had made her friend laugh.

"Uh, no, I'm not going to make you do that. I think you've fallen on your face enough times as it is." The two girls laughed, becoming more and more comfortable with the other's presence. "It was called a sissone, and actually it was a pretty bad one." Kata finished, her earlier embarrassment returning. "Hey, it's better than I could ever do." Alex giggled.

"Do you want to try?" Kata blurted suddenly. Alex looked a little surprised by Kata's offer, but that soon melted away.

"I thought you said you weren't going to make me do one," Alex said smugly.

"I'm not." Kata retorted. "I was offering."

"Well okay, as long as you try to keep me from being too klutzy."

"I'll do my best." Kata beckoned Alex over to where she was. "The mechanics are fairly simple, but to make it look good it's a bit harder." Alex just laughed.

"Yeah, well I can't even make a jazz square look good so..." Kata laughed as well.

"How about you try a smaller one then? There are many different types of sissones, and I think you'd have the best luck with a small one, just to the side." Kata said. She then demonstrated for Alex, showing her how to push off both feet then spread her legs, not too wide for a small jump, and then bring them back together for the landing. "Now you try," Kata said with encouragement. Alex took a small jump and performed a very messy sissone that didn't quite make it all the way through, however, the landing wasn't half bad, so Kata counted it as a win.

"Okay, but what you did was not that, it was bigger and cooler. Show me that." Alex said. It was like she was reading Kata's mind.

Kata was, of course, ashamed of her dancing, but at the same time only she knew what she could do and if she was being honest with herself, she was proud of the things she had taught herself, and she really did want to share it with somebody. She just didn't want to be judged.

"Okay fine, but you're not allowed to do it," Kata said with mock strictness and a pointing finger. Alex held up her hands in surrender. Kata smiled, but her grin quickly wavered. It was just one dance move that she was showing Alex, yet any confidence she had was shaken and she could feel her mouth getting dry.

To compensate for her nervousness, Kata imagined she was in her favorite place to dance, listening to the song she had choreographed her latest dance to. She watched herself lead up to the powerful sissone.

Push. She pushed off the ground with both legs and as much power as she could muster. Kick. She kicked her back leg up as high as it would go, keeping it straight and pointing her toes as much as she could in her combat boots. Control. She brought her legs together and landed both feet on the ground, toes first so it looked graceful and controlled as well as making little noise. Alex clapped for her.

"Kata that was really cool!" she praised. Kata beamed, proud of herself.

"Well thank you." she paused for a second. "What are you doing back here anyway, aren't you supposed to be onstage, or at least ready to go onstage?"

"I could ask almost the same for you," Alex answered, bringing down one of the benches to sit on. Kata walked over to her and sat on the table. She shrugged.

"Mr. Benj told me to take a break. I was just stressed."

"About what?"

"Hey, you didn't answer your question!" Kata said.

"Oh, well they said they wouldn't need me for a while and I'd already finished all my homework, so when I saw my friend back here all by herself, I thought I would join her." Kata's heart fluttered at the word friend. It still surprised her that Alex would call her a friend, something she was called by very few. It made her happy, but also nervous. What if she did something to mess it up?

"Oh, well, thank you again then," Kata replied. Alex gave her that look that she gave whenever she knew there was something Kata wasn't saying. It was a look of patience and caring, and that made her want to open up more than any words ever had. Kata sighed. "I got a bad grade on the algebra test, and my mother's not going to be happy about it, and it just really sucks because I studied so hard, but I still couldn't seem to understand the topic. Every time I think I understand it, it just goes flying out the window of my brain and I'm really not sure why."

Alex sat for a moment, thinking about what to say. "I understand this unit pretty well, if you want I could help you get ready for the retest? I mean I don't know what I could do that hasn't already been done, but every person that teaches you brings a new perspective to the topic, so it couldn't hurt right? Maybe?" Alex rambled. Kata put her hand on Alex's shoulder to calm her down. She seemed very doubtful about her idea when all it was was thoughtful and caring. Kata didn't like that Alex wasn't confident in herself.

"I like that idea. Besides even if it doesn't work it's better than going to tutorials alone which I would end up doing. I still don't want to face my mother though."

"How bad was it? I mean you obviously don't have to tell me or anything but-"

"I got an 80." Kata interrupted, cutting her off.

"Well, that's really not that bad of a grade," Alex said. Kata sighed.

"It is according to my mother. I've already had the one B I'm allowed for this semester. If it were up to me I probably wouldn't care so much." Kata said sadly. Alex looked at her with empathy.

"That really sucks."

"Yeah."

The two sat in their own respective thoughts for a while until Mr. Benj called for Alex to get on stage.

Alex gave Kata a plan to not bomb the retest that she didn't hate. She actually kind of liked it considering the fact that she would get to spend more time with her...friend. It was still weird to say. She just hoped it would be at least kind of satisfying to her mother.

***

A/N: Um super long chapter...hehe...whoops...

I hope you liked this chapter thank you so much for reading! Please consider leaving a vote/comment if you liked it!

-Sunny <3