"Hey Kata K!"

Kata froze what she was writing. Only one person called her Kata K, and that person only called her that when none of her friends were around. Kata slowly pivoted on the cafeteria bench. A smile broke out on her face.

"Katie!" she half squealed, feeling like a little kid who wanted attention from their big sister. She had to stop herself from running up and embracing the taller girl. "What are you doing here?" Kata asked her friend cautiously. "Is Hunter around?" Kate beamed at the mention of her boyfriend but shook her head.

"I don't think so, he said he was going to be in tutorials for about twenty minutes but that he would walk me home afterward, so I figured I would come to visit you in rehearsals." Kate came to sit down next to Kata, and Kata wouldn't admit to anyone, even herself, how happy that made her. She missed Kate like crazy. They had just been so close at the beginning of middle school and then they drifted apart. Kata hated it.

Kate looked at all the notes written down in Kata's stage manager binder. "So," she said slowly. "What's this job?" Kata knew that Kate was only trying to make conversation, but she didn't like the way the blonde girl had asked the question.

Kate didn't think tech was an important aspect of theatre and when Kata became interested in it in sixth grade, she told her what a waste of time it would be. The fact that Kate asked this question also made Kata realize that they really hadn't talked a lot lately. She had been so excited that she got to be the stage manager, and she thought she had told everyone she knew. Now that she thought about it though, she really hadn't told that many people. It's not like she had that many to tell. This made Kata's blood boil and she turned her gaze back to her binder and began writing with frustration. "I'm the stage manager," she said through gritted teeth, then immediately felt bad about it. It wasn't Kate's fault she was mad, but she was in the wrong place at the wrong time so some bitterness came out on her. Kata tried to swallow her anger. "It's a huge leadership position and I'm really proud of myself for getting it," she said meekly, hoping that Kate would understand how important this was to her.

"Well then I'm proud of you too," said Kate with kindness. Those words made Kata's chest swell with pride. The two girls talked for another ten minutes then Mr. Benj called for Alex, a girl named Maria who was playing Sharpey, a boy named Alejandro who was playing Ryan, and Carson to get on stage. As Alex walked to center stage from the wings, she had that bunny look about her that Kata had noticed in ILA before they picked groups for their project. Kata gathered that whenever Alex looked like that, she was at least somewhat uncomfortable with her surroundings and that was her way of quietly observing them. Alex caught Kata's eye and Kata stuck her tongue out at her. Alex laughed, and Kata smirked in return. Kate watched the whole exchange.

"Kata," she said, placing a hand on Kata's leg. "We really need to talk." Kata gulped but hid her nervousness and put a mask over her emotions.

"Sure, what's up?" Stay cool. It's okay. It's just Katie. She thought, talking herself down. Kate took a deep breath and looked Kata in the eyes, seriousness written all over her face.

"That girl up there-"

"Her name is Alex," Kata said defensively. Kate sighed in annoyance.

"Alex. Is she your girlfriend?" Kate asked, keeping a perfectly straight face, being completely sincere in her question.

Kata didn't know whether she wanted to punch Kate, laugh at her, or just be relieved. She had no clue what this conversation was going to be about but she was expecting worse than what Kate had just thrown at her. However, Kata felt her fists clench and her jaw go rigid. She had every right to be mad at this.

"Katie!" Kata said sharply.

"Kata I'm serious." Kata breathed hard. It was taking every ounce of her strength to not start yelling at Kate. "Look, I don't have a problem with it." Yeah because there's nothing wrong with being gay and also because, oh I don't know, maybe the fact that she's not my girlfriend! "Y'all seem really happy together, and that's all I've ever wanted for you. Ever since I found Hunter," That little jerk. "I've been the happiest I've ever been." Kata's anger dissipated and turned into sadness. Even happier than when we had each other? "Also, let's face it, we both knew you were going to turn out lesbian." And the anger was back, stronger than before. "But that's not the point. The point is, you can't go around holding hands with her. You just can't." And why the fucking hell is that? Huh? You go around with Hunter all the damn time! "I don't want you to get teased by Hunter any more than you do, but he's just making jokes, and you're playing right into them. You're not even trying." What the hell is that supposed to mean? "You know Kata, it's really not that hard to put a little mascara on every morning and wear shirts that were actually made for girls. He's right you know, you do kind of look like a guy." Kata was torn between sadness and anger.

She knew she didn't dress strictly feminine. That was how she liked dressing and how she liked looking. She didn't understand why people had a problem with it. However, part of her just wanted to please Kate. Kate was one of her only friends, and here she was pretty much saying that she wanted Kata to change herself and that it was her fault she got teased. It hurt, and the wounds cut deeper than most, if not all, that Hunter had inflicted. However, in the end, Kata's anger shoved the sadness behind it to protect her heart, and she simply got up and stormed off to the bathroom. She knew she couldn't stay there or she would say things that she would later regret greatly.

Kata ducked into the end stall and locked the door. She slid down against the wall, so filled with frustration that her hands shook. She wanted to scream or cuss or punch something.

Someone.

She wanted to do anything to get rid of the feeling eating her soul. It scared her when she got like this. She was afraid that she was going to hurt someone. That was part of the reason she could never get too close to any of her friends. If Kata ever got mad around any of them she was terrified that she would say something to hurt them. Then she would lose them. If she wasn't that close to them then it wouldn't hurt as much when she lost them. It was a way of protecting herself.

But Alex was different. So was Kate. With Kate, Kata always felt indebted to her. She always felt like she owed her something. Kate didn't have to keep Kata around, but she did. For that Kata was extremely grateful, and because of this mindset it made it exceedingly difficult for her to lash out at Kate. However, for some reason with Alex, she couldn't even get mad at her in the first place. She hadn't even gotten annoyed at her. This made Kata think that maybe she could get close to Alex and not mess things up. Yet, here was Hunter and Kate attacking Kata's friendship with the person that Kata felt safest with, besides for her sister, even though they had only been friends for about a month.

No. Kata reminded herself. Katie is your friend. She didn't mean to hurt you. She didn't know what she was saying would hurt you. However, she couldn't bring herself to say the same for Hunter.

Kata grabbed her arms as her muscles tensed. She tried to get her hands to stop shaking, but she felt so much rage coursing through her body. There were so many things pounding on the inside of her skull. Words echoing throughout her mind.

For one, she knew she was more masculine than most girls, but that didn't make her lesbian, and it made her so mad that people would think that and then say it to her face. She knew she was a "stereotypical lesbian," but the fact was that she didn't quite know sexuality and she didn't want stupid uneducated people to try to force something on her and have her believe that she was something she wasn't. Sure, Kata thought she was probably attracted to girls, but she really wasn't sure yet. The fact was, she, and no one else for that matter, could choose their sexuality, it's just the way you're born and there's nothing wrong with that. If she did turn out to be lesbian then good for her, but that's not something she wanted other people to assume. Plus, she didn't like Alex! Not in that way. Alex was her friend. Granted, Alex was a great person and attractive and super thoughtful, so if Kata ever did develop a crush on her, she would understand why, but she had never had a crush on anyone before and she didn't know why she would start now. In addition to that, she thought dating in middle school was stupid and pointless so she wouldn't be dating Alex even if she had feelings for her. That being said, if she and Alex were a couple, she would want to be able to go around holding hands with her just like every other straight couple in the school! And even with them not being a couple, Kata didn't want to have to worry about showing affection for her friend because she didn't know if some homophobe was going to come around the corner and chew her out for it just because they assumed she was gay! Even though she thought she was probably at least bisexual that really didn't matter! She should be able to show affection for her friend.

Suddenly Kata's anger dropped and uncovered the sadness it had been hiding. As much as her anger scared her, she knew it was just covering up her insecurities. She hated feeling either way, but when it came down to it, Kata knew she would much rather sit by herself and cry her eyes out than have to worry about hurting another person.

Kate- Katie, her friend, told her she needed to try. She needed to change herself. It was only her appearance, but still. That was part of her. It showed who she was. Or maybe who she wanted to be. Really it showed a bit of both. Yet Kate wanted Kata to change that. She hadn't said that Hunter was a jerk or that she was there for Kata. No. She had just said that it was Kata's fault and that she needed to change. Kata didn't know what to think. Maybe Kate was right. After all, Kate was Kata's friend, so she should take her advice on the matter right? If her friend wanted her to change, then probably everyone else did too. Which means she should also want to change.

But she didn't. What was wrong with her?

***

A/N: Ah super big update day!!! Lots of chapters being put up today and I still have to study...pRoCRasTiNAtiON!!!

Thank you all so much for reading this chapter, if you liked it please consider leaving a vote or a comment!

-Sunny <3