"Are you not tired?"

It was a question that visited my memory ever so rarely. Though it seldom echoed in my head, it was a question that haunted me so. I could not recall the one who had asked me, thus troubling me even more.

"Are you not tired?"

Am I tired of what? I closed my eyes, straining my mind for a familiar voice. A face? A time? The sound of that voice was distant. I could not see a face...And time had been too distant for me to remember. How ironic! I held all the power to end anything that breathed, yet I could not be granted the a simple memory of the lips that had uttered that question. I remembered the history of life, yet I am deprived of this one. Why? I had regarded myself to be patient with life. From the moment of conception, I waited for the moment when it was time to make the heartbeat stop–and I had waited for so many lives.

"Do you even know the value of what you are taking?"

I frowned sullenly at my failure to remember. Yes, Death was patient. I am patient! But I was not one who had the patience for the answer to unfold itself. Memories were trivial thoughts that one should not be dwelling on, in my view. They were like ghosts from the past that should stay in the past. If there was no recollection for that memory, then there must be a reason for it to stay buried–like corpses underneath the earth.

I closed my eyes as I stood motionless at the busy intersection of the city, shoving back the ghost that dared to disturb me. My mind shifted to the many individuals who would soon be due for my taking. One of them was this staggering fool who had been making a spectacle of himself.

"Oh my dear Kurt." I smiled to myself. Until now, you don't value time. He had complete disregard for my generosity. I have met so many people like him–men and women alike. They begged me for mercy. Many even had the audacity to question if I had any mercy at all!

The horns screamed at him persistently to move out of the way. The wheels shrieked sharply as they dodged the lunatic.

"Get out of the way, man!"

"Oh fuck you!" Kurt hollered, flashing motorists the 'bird'. He realised that he was gaining an audience and without hesitation, he flicked them the finger as well. "What are you looking at, you fucking assholes?" His voice was raspy. Underneath his filthy jacket, he was shivering in pain, and the cold air was not helping him. A long beep resonated from a red sedan that had stopped behind him. His body whirled violently around as if he was getting ready to shield himself from an attack. The high beams from the headlights made him cower behind his hands. "Turn your fucking lights off!" He thrusted himself forward and repeatedly slammed his fists down on the hood of the vehicle. "Turn your fucking lights off!" He ran his grubby fingers through his hair. Confusion, disorientation, fear, and anger were brewing in his veins. The horns from the vehicles and the flurrying voices that attacked him were setting his ears in flames. He cupped his ears and screamed. "Shut up! Shut the fuck up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!"

"Someone call triple zero!" someone bellowed.

"Get your fucking ass out of the way or, so help me God, I will hit your sorry ass at full fucking speed!"

Pointing at anything and everything that had lights on, "Turn your lights off!" he screamed. "Turn your fucking lights off!" He ran towards another car and kicked the bonnet with the heel of his shoe, leaving dents.

I could have taken him at the bus stop while he wallowed in his stupor. Yet I gave him more than sixteen hours to tie up his loose ends, say his goodbyes. My upper lip curved into a sardonic snarl as I preempted the question Kurt would throw at me after I took him. Sixteen hours? How dare I consider myself generous when all I had given him was sixteen hours? What is sixteen hours to a dying man? This question was not new to me. The figure may vary, but the essence of the question had always been the same. Through the centuries, I had taken many lives. Maybe two hundred, fifty thousand? Three hundred thousand? All in just a day. So what was sixteen hours to a dying person? It was fifty-seven thousand, five hundred, ninety-nine seconds more than a precious second of time. Some people did not even have the luxury of a second! What was a second? It was a significant amount of time that determined who crossed the finish line first. It was a longing from a parent to hold their child for a fraction longer. It was a lover's yearning for one more kiss. It was a friend's craving for a small moment of company. It was that small space that could be one's window for closure. Understand the value of this unit in time and one would realise what sixteen hours was worth!

I would have given him more time, but his choices beaconed for my return.

Within three hours after I had left Kurt that morning, he had stolen someone's satchel and pawned its contents: the little laptop, a phone, a tablet, and an engagement ring. Congratulations, Kurt! You have ruined someone's perfect marriage proposal! That did not matter to him of course! He had the money for alcohol and amphetamines. The entire day, he spent his time running around like a madman with his heart racing. He would collapse on the side of the footpath after his paranoid rampage, and passers-by would just regard him as another homeless loser. He received no sympathy–only scorns of disgust.

"What are you waiting for? Why don't you take him?"

The voice was full of hate. I lifted my chin and rolled my eyes to the soul that has remained earth-bound. She averted her gaze from me, not wanting to look into the coldness of my stare. "April," I acknowledged her with a nod.

"I don't understand! He should be dead by now! He should have died many years ago! Why are you prolonging his life? He doesn't deserve it!" Even in spirit, her face was just as tired as when I took her. In fact, she was more dreary. Sadness loomed in her brown eyes, mirroring her sorrows and the regret she did not want to face. Her blonde, wavy hair lacked luster. Her skin, pale and dull . It was like her soul failed to feed on the light that death usually brought.

"When the time is right."

She paced around me frantically with her bare feet lightly touching the ground. "Time?" she scoffed. "Why does he get time when I didn't have the chance! It was not my time!" If the humans could hear the voices from our realm, her screams would be like the cry of a jilted banshee.

"I agree. It was not your time, but with your circumstances, I had to take you." I could still remember the the sound of her cracking bones on the night I took her.

April knew that Kurt would not be home until the late afternoon. His appointment with his Job Services consultant was not until two o'clock. She woke him up early that day, eager to get him out of the house before ten o' clock. He had to be out of the house before Hector came. She had told him that it was best to see his consultant early, to make up for all the other appointments he had missed. She had convinced him that the earlier he got to the place, the less chances he had to get himself drunk. If he was drunk, she knew he would either miss that appointment or he would rant on like a dick–his consultant would not tolerate that behavior. Either way, a report would be lodged against him that would affect his unemployment benefits. They could not afford another penalty! Kurt had just served an eight-week non-payment period as a penalty for breaching his agreement with that stupid Job Services provider. She wanted to strangle his case manager every single time Kurt's payment got stopped. Stupid bitch! she thought to herself. There are many more important things out there than one person missing an appointment and attending useless workshops on how to look for a job! Stupid bitch!

"If you don't want to attend your appointments or participate in activities–you either get a job or stop claiming unemployment benefits!" his consultant would say. April huffed and swore that one day, she would give that woman a piece of her mind.

She managed to get Kurt out of the house. Within half an hour, Hector had arrived. He was early but that was all right since Kurt had long gone.

Hector and April–simply put as two people drawn to each other by a common need to feed their addictions. Hector had the goods that she did not have the money to pay for, while she had the prowess that would satisfy him in bed. To Hector, she was a cheaper option to a prostitute. Plus, she was very beautiful. Behind the tasteless choice of clothing, likely acquired from the op shops, April still had some class. He could sense that she may have come from a good family. Who knew what went wrong?

Hector flashed a crooked smile at her as he lustfully looked her over. Seeing the yellowish tinge in his teeth made her cringe. Hector was definitely not pleasing to the eye. His black jeans, black shirt and leather jacket all looked expensive but he still reeked of smoke and alcohol. He pulled out a small packet of white powder that made April's eyes glow. He waved it in her face, teasing her. "You want it, baby?" She didn't have to say anything, he already knew the answer. "You know what to do," he grinned.

April tried to hide her disgust but the involuntary twitch of her lips made her revealed a wry expression. He continued to taunt her with the precious packet in his hand. Who would have thought that the key to heaven comes in such a small package? She reached for the hem of her shirt and lifted it up.

"Wait!" Hector said abruptly, causing April to stop just above her navel. He couldn't help himself from licking his lips at the sight of her smooth flesh. His smile went broader. "I've been doing some research," gesturing quotation marks in the air. "Let's make this interesting. You'll enjoy this!"

April could hear the sleaziness in his voice. Her heart started pumping nervously. Hector made himself comfortable on the sofa and waved his hand for her to move in front of him. Reluctantly, she took a few steps until she was facing him. "Listen, let's skip the games and get over with it," she demanded, getting ready to lift her shirt but Hector's strong hand signaled her to stop.

"What's the rush, babe? We have plenty of time to play!" he laughed, raking his eyes up and down her body. "You are a beautiful piece of work, you know that?" He returned the packet back into his pocket. "Now, let's play and I'll give you a nice prize after." He looked her over from head to toe once again before stopping to meet her wide-eyed stare. "I want you to dance for me," he chuckled. "Nice and sexy!"

She rolled her eyes. "What the fuck do you think I am?" she exclaimed irritably.

He chuckled even louder. "A whore!" he said bluntly.

April's jaw dropped. She wanted to lash back but no words came out. She did what she did in exchange for her drugs. Hector was right and she could not deny it. "You filthy asshole!"

He tapped the pocket that had what she wanted. "Come on, baby! Dance!" he ordered, his voice harsher this time. Reluctantly, April started to move her hips. Much to his delight, he nodded in approval. "That's a good girl!" His eyes fell on her hips. "Yes, move that ass!"

April felt so low that she wanted to cry. She had never stooped so low in her life. She could stop all this right then and there, but the craving for her to fly was so strong that she continued to dance to the music of his laughter, basking under his lecherous gape.

********

April shoved the sheets into the washing machine, setting it to wash at the hottest temperature. She wanted to burn the mattress. The mere sight of it reminded her of the most humiliating time of her life. How could she explain to Kurt why their bed was damp and smelled of sex? Right after she started the laundry, she hopped into the shower to scrub off the filth that Hector left on her. As soon as the lukewarm water hit her body, April buried her face in her hands and broke down in tears. How did her life turn this way? The memory of what she had done that day flashed in her head. She felt lower than scum just thinking of how she had danced for him, allowing him to command her into doing compromising positions to expose herself. She closed her eyes tightly and wrapped her arms around her as if to cover her shame. The way he touched her made her sob. She didn't know what disgusted her most–the things he had made her do or the fact that she screamed with pleasure with everything he had subjected her to. She reached for the soap and scrubbed herself hard, trying to cleanse herself. The only consolation she had after everything that happened was her cunningness to ask him for a few more packets of drugs since she was giving him more than what he deserved. Luckily, he agreed. She couldn't wait to taste heaven...At least in heaven, she could forget all the filth!

The sudden ringing of the phone snapped her away from her thoughts. She quickly rinsed herself off and ran to the bedroom, leaving a trail of wet puddles on the floor from her dripping body. "Hello?" she answered as she grabbed her phone from the edge of the bed. It was Kurt on the other line. "Did you get everything sorted out? Did Centrelink restore your payments?" she asked eagerly.

"Hey, what about meeting me at Jordan's house? It's his misis' birthday."

Disappointed that she didn't get her answer. Maybe he did get his money. She was looking forward to getting her hands on some cash. Rent was due, and the food was running low. "I don't know, babe," she frowned. She'd rather stay home to clean up the mess she and Hector had left. "I have some stuff to do."

"Come on! He'll be cross if we don't come. Besides, we might score some free cones if we went."

There was something different in his tone. "Are you all right, babe?"

"Yeah. There's a bus that will come in half an hour. If you hurry up, you'd get there before four.

She let out a heavy sigh. "Fine!" After hanging up, she quickly got dressed. The heat outside was sweltering but she chose to put on a long-sleeved shirt to hide the marks left by the electrical cords that Hector used to tie her up.

Kurt looked like he was already intoxicated when she got to their friend's place. That was enough to explain why he seemed pretty shitty towards her. Though everyone else was enjoying the party, April couldn't help but feel uncomfortable the whole time. Must have been the guilt and humiliation she had experienced earlier.

It was getting late and Kurt wanted to go. April was more than glad to leave. The pathway Kurt chose to go through was dark. There were street lamps that were distanced too far from each other to give ample illumination. "You stupid fuck!" she slurred angrily. "We should have gone the way we usually do! It's fucking dark here!"

"Shut up! It's a short cut!" Kurt snapped. Just then, they were near a bush reserve. He quickly jumped up the metre fence.

"What are you doing?" she glared at him. "Stop fooling around or we'll miss the bus!"

Kurt smiled at her. "Relax, there'll be another one coming anyway." He waved at her. "Come on!"

"What?" she frowned in confusion. "What the hell do you want to do in the bush?"

Kurt eyebrows wiggled naughtily. "Come on! It'll be fun."

Surprised at what he was implying. "Are you fucking crazy?"

"No one will see. Come on!"

She reluctantly stepped forward and stopped. "Let's go! We can bloody do it at home!"

Kurt chuckled. "Where's your sense of adventure? Come on!" he insisted. April was adamant that she wouldn't follow him. "I am so wanting you right now. It's either here or in the bus. Your choice!"

April gasped. "You fucking pervert!" If it were Hector asking her, she wouldn't be surprised. She looked at Kurt and his smile widened. Her jaw dropped as she noticed that he was starting to undo his shirt. "Are you crazy?"

"Come on!"

She huffed in defeat as she hopped over the fence, joining him in a stroll deeper into the bush.

"Ah this is a good spot!" He looked at her and grinned sheepishly. "Now let's see that sexy body of yours."

She was about to undo her pants when she felt her mobile phone vibrate in her pocket. She took it out and saw one missed call and three text notifications.

"Check your fucking phone later and take your clothes off!" he demanded angrily.

April viewed the first text message that came in at two-thirty.

Kurt, please call our office re: your failure to attend your 2p.m. appt. Failure to do so may affect your benefits.

April jerked her head to him. Her eyes were glaring at him. "Oh you fucking son of a bitch! You didn't attend your appointment? You asshole! You know we need that money!" she ranted. "Where the hell did you go?"

Kurt's eyes got bigger and mocked an amused grin. "Well, I was waiting at the bus stop when I saw some guy head to our door. So, I had to walk back to see who it was."

April was mortified. She felt her body shake. Her mind was telling her to start running but her body was too drunk and sluggish to move. "Kurt, I–"

"I'm glad that I did! It was like watching a live porn movie through the window!" He began laughing and clapping his hands. "Damn! I shouldn't have hocked the phone with the camera! I could sell the video for big bucks!"

"Fuck you!"

He walked closer to her and the faint light from the moon revealed her pale face. "Yeah! Fuck me, and everyone else! That's what you're good at!"

She saw the hurt look in his eyes. "I'm sorry!" She was shaking. "I-I only did it–" Without warning, she felt her head snap to one side. Her cheeks were burning as she lost her balance. Next thing she knew, she was on the ground. Her nose was dripping with blood. April touched the cheek where Kurt had hit her. Tears started streaming down her face as panic settled in. "Please, Kurt! Stop!" she screamed as she tried to crawl away.

In a frenzy, Kurt grabbed April by the ankle. Dragging her across the rough surface of the bush. "How could you do this to me?"

She hid her face behind her forearms, avoiding broken branches and rocks from scratching her face. "Stop!" she begged. She squirmed to escape but his strong grip on her ankles made it impossible.

Kurt stopped dragging her. She wriggled herself to stand up but he pushed her down with his foot. He filled his hands with her disheveled locks and pulled her up. A painful cry escaped her as she held on to his arm, digging her nails into his flesh. He felt the pain but he didn't let go. Her face had splatters of blood from her nose and the scratches on her cheeks. "How could you do this to me? I loved you! I took care of you! You ungrateful bitch!" His fists pounded on her face repeatedly.

April ducked her head from side to side, trying to avoid the blows. "Help!" she screeched. Finally Kurt let her go. Her whole head was throbbing and her vision was blurry. She had to get out. She managed to stand up and staggered to run away from him. Kurt was quick though. She felt him tug on her top, causing it to rip. "Get away from me!" She tried to hit him back but missed and ended back on the ground.

Kurt rolled her on her back and pinned her thrashing arms with his full weight. He straddled over her hips to immobilize her legs. "You're gonna pay for this, bitch!" His other hand reached for the rest of her top and ripped it open. "You like this kind of game, don't ya?" She shook her head at him. "Don't deny it! I've watched you!" His expression changed to a look of ecstasy. "Oh stop, Sir! Don't! Please stop!" he mocked her voice when she was moaning in pleasure while he watched her and her lover play their sex games.

"Kurt, please don't hurt me! Let me go!" She was trembling. "I-I-I'll do anything you want. I promise! I–" She screamed as Kurt's fist landed on her nose. Both of them heard the cracking of bone. She let out a painful gasp as that same fist landed on her stomach. Kurt let go of her and she curled in pain.

"Anything I want, huh?" He stood up, glaring at her as he paced frantically. "Will you give me a dance as well? You going to give me nice, naughty poses?" He couldn't remember when he got hold of a branch. His grip tightened around it. "I should get it on video and post it on the internet so the whole world can see what a fucking slut you are!" He started beating her.

April was starting to get dizzy. She felt like she no longer had the energy to move her battered body. "Please stop," she begged in silence. He was yelling but she couldn't hear him. Everything around her was hazy, but there was only one thing that was clear–her vision of me crouching down next to her.

"It is time," I told her. Before she could question me or protest, I held her in my arms. Her body was filled with pain and ecstasy as she gasped for breath. Her body convulsed with the inrush of emotions. I could feel her anger being the strongest. She fought me. I caressed her forehead gently. "It is time," I repeated to her calmly. She was still fighting me when I tightened my embrace around her. Her tears raged as the light exploded in front of her.

April could feel herself moving at an inexplicable speed. It was like getting pulled by gravity, only forward. There was no wind but her hair was billowing. To her, darkness was painted white. The light around her was brighter than the sun. What was happening. She struggled to even look at the sun, but the intense glow around her was too comfortable to even squint.

We stopped moving and all she could see was me. "This is as far as I can take you," I told her.

She looked around. Everything before her was an infinite terrain of light. She turned to where I stood and looked down at the red, dry dirt beneath my feet that seemed to have ended where the light has begun. "Where am I?"

"You're at the Paths."

It was clear to her that she was dead. She knew who and what I was. "What now?" She turned her attention back to the white beyond.

"You walk."

"Where?" she asked, her face contorting in confusion.

"That is for you to decide."

"Then what?"

I remained silent. Even I did not know the answer to the question. I had never set foot in the Paths. It was forbidden for Death to walk through it. All I knew was that it may lead to rebirth or somewhere else–heaven perhaps.

Confusion filled her face. She was not ready for this. Panic fell on her soul. "I have to get back!"

I shook my head. "That is not possible. Your body will not allow it."

She stared at me in anger. "It is possible! People get revived. I've heard of near death experience! I–"

"Your body will not allow it," I repeated flatly.

Then she remembered how she died. Kurt had wrapped his hands around her head and with a quick twist, he broke her neck. She closed her eyes as her heart shattered in anguish. She longed to hold on to what was tangible. She wanted to be with him to hurt him! "You shouldn't have taken me!"

The scowl on her face was as sinister as the flames in her voice. I was not fazed. She was just among the many souls who could not let go. "You had no choice in the matter. Your time was up."

My nonchalance irked her even more. "No! I'm not ready! I'm not going anywhere!" Like a spoiled child she lifted one foot and landed it hard on the red soil.

I remained composed as I looked upon the foot that defiantly touched my turf. "So you wish to step out of the Paths," I stated.

"So what?" She narrowed her eyes on me, challenging me.

"I am not here to push you towards where you are meant to be." I turned my back on her and started to glide away. "You make the choices."

Once again, my actions startled her. "Where are you going?" Her eyes followed me as I walked towards the opposite direction of the white light.

"Everywhere."

In an instant, her anger diminished. Confusion had set once again. She looked at her feet–a boundary apart from the realm of death and the realm that goes beyond. "What does that supposed to mean? I thought you were supposed to guide me."

I stopped. "I have put the final blow on your body by taking the consciousness that is left. I have brought you to the Paths. You have the choice to fully step back and proceed with your journey or remain bound to your human life for whatever purpose you think suits your unrested soul. From here, I have nothing else to do with you." I turned to her and smiled. "If you choose the latter, I will come back for you when you are ready for me to take you back to the Paths." I bowed my head and closed my eyes as I walked away. I listened for her other foot touch the cracked soil. As she slowly stepped away from the boundary of pure light. A silent prayer sang in my head, sending a solemn message for the angels to pass on–Another ghost will roam, and she is full of anger. I listened to her soul disappear from my realm, going back to the world she had left. That was her choice.

So what would be come of her? She would have the same fate as any earth-bound soul...

Sorrow will feast on her until she lets go. For the time being, I shall wait. For I am patient. For I am Death.