Laying on his bed, Jungkook couldn't stop glancing at the painting on his chair every five seconds.

He was so willing to throw the painting, ruining it when he first got inside, but he couldn't help the feeling inside him that made him want to protect it and adore it.

He missed her so much.

So he gently placed it on his chair, trying not to be too intrigued.

He had read her texts and even though he was very angry with her, he couldn't help but want to reply.

He had various times been at the edge of replying her texts, but he deleted them before he could send them.

He really wanted to believe her words.

I will never hurt you Jungkook.

I'm sorry.

I love you.

There was nothing more he wanted to do than text her back.

I love you too.

But the time wasn't right and what if she was lying? What if she really wasn't sorry? What if he would forgive her, just for her to screw him over again and leave him for a second time? Would he be able to handle that?

His eyes moved from his own handwriting in the bottom corner and landed on the small note in the top corner once again. Finally he caved in and got up from the bed, taking the small note into his hands.

The tear in his eye was not to be looked past. It should be impossible to get emotional only by reading three words. Three simple words, yet countless of thoughts flashing through his mind.

To My Kook.

He hated how vulnerable she made him.

Jungkook, I made this painting for you as a sincere apology. I don't even dare to hope for forgiveness... but I just wanted to let you know this...
You do not need to be anyone's decalcomania. There is only one Jungkook - I only see one Jungkook and that's you. The Jungkook that makes me smile harder than I've ever done before, the Jungkook that's stronger than anyone I know, the Jungkook that makes me nervous just by his presence, the one that makes me confident and feel appreciated. The only Jungkook I love. The Jungkook I hope you'll come to love. Don't ever doubt yourself or your worth. You are too precious. I love you Jungkook.

Reading the note Jungkook didn't even try to hold back his tears.

It was so hard ignoring her. Usually people left him and he didn't even have to try making them come back, they wouldn't anyway. Even though Jungkook thought Nia had betrayed him and left him, she had given it her all to tell him how sorry she was and tried her best to come back to him.

Suddenly he was the bad guy, he thought. People had always left him, and now he was keeping her from being with him. He was distancing himself. Had this been his problem all along?

He fell back on his bed, looking at the ceiling, vision blurry partly from tears and and partly from his hair that had grown quite long over the summer.

Nia used to say she liked his long hair.

This girl showed him what it was to have trust in somebody. As well as that, she showed him what it was to feel that trust being torn away. But she also showed him what it felt like to be loved.

Nia was flattened out on her bed, exhausted even though she'd done nothing all day.

The girl was staring at the ceiling, her eyes lids failing her every now and then and closing. It would be nice to say she was in booty shorts topped with a cute crop top, her hair tied up into a 'messy bun' that somehow people always make to look good. Something some people would think of when you 'don't do much out of yourself'.

But the girl was in her sweatpants and a sweatshirt that had been washed way too many times that caused lint to be all over it. She didn't even feel like doing as much as putting her hair up, just throwing it away aggressively whenever it was in her way. It tangled up and hurt whenever she aggressively slapped it to get away, but she didn't seem to bother the pain her scalp felt.

It was tough seeing Jungkook not even care a little bit about her painting. But she didn't hold a grudge against him because she knew that a simple probably shitty painting wasn't going to change a thing.

Grey shades of colors? Seriously?

The girl snorted at her thought.

Why the fuck did she choose such depressing colors?

Maybe he thought it was too depressing to look at and maybe he threw it out as soon as he found a big enough trash can?

Jungkook probably didn't even notice the symbolism in the painting.

The colors that defined him beautifully.

Grey, which symbolized balance as well as maturity, defining Jungkook's growth through their relationship. He matured along with his hardships, creating an impressive and inspiring balance between his past and presence.

Black, that may seem like a pessimistic color, but also showcased the strength this boy had carried upon him as he started to open up to a person - even after everything he had gone through.

The white background, reminding him that his past is distant now and that there's hope for him to always become an even better version of himself.

The design that had come to Nia immediately but still was so hard to make. The hands reaching for each other and touching one another from similar sides, she hoped would show him that maybe he's not the same as before, but he's just as good, if not even better.

But he probably didn't give those thing a simple thought, did he.

And what about her note?

Did he even read her note?

People usually say to expect the worst - when you expect the worst, you won't be disappointed, but it's hard to force yourself to expect the worst. Actually, Nia had been very happy with her little note and hopeful that he would acknowledge her mistake and possibly forgive her.

But it had been more than 24 hours since the boy had dragged the painting inside of his house, leaving the girl with a heavy heart behind a neighbors car. And it was nothing but pure torture, an ounce more despair seeking into the girl's body with every ticking second that passed by.

The vibrating sensation that travelled through the bed, made Nia snap out of her stare at the ceiling.

Grabbing the source of vibration, Nia's phone, her screen lit up, displaying Jungkook's name with an accept and a decline button.

Even though her mind went blank and froze, it didn't take more than a second before she answered the call.

"Hi."

"Hi."

Her response was automatic, her brain still not comprehending the situation. A brief moment of silence struck the two on both sides of the line.

A ruffling sound reached Nia's ear through her phone, making her sit up immediately and finally snap out of it.

"Jungkook?"

"Yeah..." The mentioned guy responded, a hint of hesitation in his voice.

Even though her brain had finally caught up with the situation, didn't automatically make it work and form out a sentence.

Cause what should she say?

How should she start a conversation with him? 

I'm sorry.

How have you been?

I've missed you.

It was scary.

"Nia?" Jungkook spoke again, making the girl snap out of her thoughts once again. She hadn't even noticed the quiet sniffle that had left her as her eyes started tearing up.

"Jungkook... I'm-" The words were hard to push out, partly scared if this was a goodbye call, "I'm so sorry."

Jungkook didn't say anything on the other line, making Nia pull her legs up to her chest feeling as if she was holding herself together.

"I've missed you so much. I'll never be able to express how sorry I am--"

"Nia-"

"No Jungkook, please let me say this..." The girl filled her lungs with air before continuing, as Jungkook let her, "I seriously never meant for any of this to happen and I really hope you know that. I'm so sorry I hurt you and I know that you probably think that I'm just talking empty words, but I swear on everything that.." The girl took a break, her sobs interrupting herself.

"Nia..."

"No matter what I'll understand what you're about to say, but I want to assure you know that I love you Jungkook. You are so worth it for me and I hate to see you beating yourself over something I did..." 

The girl wanted to say so much more with more meaningful and much richer words, but it was like all the emotions welled up in her and it was hard to even breathe properly.

She felt pathetic crying while on a call with the one that she hurt.

"I..."

Nia tried sucking in her sniffles, waiting for Jungkook to maybe break up with her, but she would never not have faith in him. 

"What I wanted to say is that I'm sorry for ignoring you these past days."

To say guilt and anger welled up in Nia in a matter of milliseconds would be an understatement.

"You had the right to ignore me! You should not be sorry for anything Jungkook... I am the terrible person here and don't you dare put any of this out on yourself-"

"Nia relax-"

"Jungkook no! Fuck no you're not apologizing for anything!"

"Okay okay..." 

Nia swore if she could've seen him he would hold his hands in the air defensively. She also swore that if it wasn't for the situation, she would continue yelling at him for being sorry... but she also still felt uneasy by the call.

"I'm serious Jungkook." She let out with a sigh, followed by a hiccup that made the girl curse mentally.

"So..." Nia pulled at the word as Jungkook didn't say anything.

"So... are you coming over?"

Confusion mixed with relief coursed though Nia's body, almost making her jump from the bed and head out straight away.

"Does that mean you forgive me???" The girl exclaimed, her voice rising with enthusiasm throughout the sentence.

"Yes I was hurt... a lot. Haejin texted me, asking what happened since you weren't in the mood to hang out all the time... Your messages and everything... What I'm trying to say is that I believe you and I trust you enough to forgive you. Honestly, I think I've realized that I can't live without you. I hate how vulnerable you make me... but it seems like I can't control it."

"So you do forgive me!!" Nia exclaimed, not yet comprehending every other word besides 'I forgive you'.

"I love you so much." The girl whisper whined into her hands as the phone was thrown on the bed and her face hiding in her hands.

As she realized she picked up the phone again putting it close to her ear, noticing Jungkook's chuckling.

"I hate how vulnerable you make me"

"Jungkook... I heard you singing in the studio the other day."

"I know."

"You know?"

"Well I assumed you did, considering your note, and you just confirmed my assumption."

"Oh..."

"You know... it's okay sometimes-"

"Oh no... not again." Jungkook spoke jokingly from the other side, but Nia sensed the hint of seriousness that once again told her that he still wasn't totally comfortable with his new self yet.

"Just one last time..."

Jungkook didn't say anything, letting Nia continue.

"It's okay sometimes to show emotions. It's okay to be vulnerable. It's not a weakness it's a strength. It's okay to be you, so don't lie anymore Jungkook... please just tell me the truth from now on."

If Nia could see through the phone, she would notice Jungkook's forced smile, internally cringing at the words while still trying to comprehend and understand them.

"I'll try."

Talking over the phone for way longer than they'd planned, Nia still found herself being worried that it was too good to be true. She ended the call with saying 'I love you', Jungkook just humming along. It made a weird and dark feeling enter her. She was worried.

What if he still had doubt about her?

Would he ever be able to fully forgive her?

It wasn't like she was purposely cheating or anything... but it could still have ruined their relationship. And Jungkook not returning the words of affirmation made the girl doubt that the troubles were in the past.

Maybe he just wasn't ready to say it. 

She partly understood it. He hadn't open up to a person in forever. Telling them they love you, wouldn't be easy. 

Jungkook had opened up about his family. He had shown her his musical side. He had told her about his past. He had put the risk of getting hurt on the line. He braved his biggest fear only for her.

As for now, this was enough for her.

It would take time maybe, but it was time she was willing to spend on him.