Sunday 7 September
New Delhi
12 noon

"Why didn't you let Mihir pick us up Raman?" Ishita sat snuggled in her husbands arms in the back of a speeding limousine.

They were on their way from the airport to a resort just on the outskirts of Delhi, where Mihir, Rinki and Ruhi waited for them.

***********************************
Flashback

Their morning had been spent leisurely.

They had woken up late, entwined in each other's arms. Ishita, safe in her husband's embrace, had looked lovingly at his beloved face as her eyes opened, marveling at just how innocent and vulnerable he looked in his sleep.

He had been so thoughtful, had done so much for her yesterday - the trip, this resort, her clothes, the singers, dancers. Everything planned for her enjoyment, designed for her pleasure.  Whereas she .... she sighed, her old insecurities rearing up. She loved him so much, and she hoped that she had not disappointed him. She wondered what he had thought of her, wondered whether she had given him as much joy as he had given her, wondered just how she had measured up against all the other women who had been in his life before her.

She had known that he was a passionate man, but last night....last night had been completely beyond the boundaries of her imagination and thought. She had learnt so much about him, but even more so, she had learnt about herself. The feelings he had invoked, the paths down which he had led, and she had willingly followed.... she would never, in her wildest dreams, have believed herself capable of such amor, such uninhibited sexual desire.

He had been so generous, so giving, so loving.... surely, it was like this  because he loved her...surely, he hadn't been this way with all those others..... "But Shagun, Ishita", her inner voice reminded her. He loved Shagun. Would he have found her wanting compared to Shagun?

She had no cause for insecurity though, he had assured her as he woke up in her arms, rightly reading the pensive look on her face.

"What are you thinking baby? Tell me" He demanded softly, as she lowered her eyes, not able to look at him.

She blushed, shaking her head, and he reached up to brush aside a stray lock, tucking it lovingly behind one ear. "What Ishita?" He insisted. " Why were you looking so worried my love? Tell me."

She took a deep breath, capturing his wandering hand in hers. "I... Raman, I don't know what... what you thought of me last night, I mean how I reacted ... I don't know what came over me, I don't know if it's normal. I don't know what you must be thinking of me..."

Her voice trailed off as he started to laugh. "Meri jaan, I don't know what you are talking about, but of course everything was normal. I'm sorry if I scared you. I hadn't planned to do all that last night, I was going to take things slow, but God baby, you looked so gorgeous, I just couldn't help myself."

She shook her head again, not reassured, a slow pinpoint of jealousy burning deep inside her. "But...I don't know how you liked...whether I was ..ok. I mean, you've been with so many beautiful women..."

"Hey" he interrupted her, pulling her closer. "Why are you thinking about all that, huh? I can't change my past my love, but please, believe me, I've never felt this way before . Last night....nothing has ever compared, nothing. And you, my love, you...." he shook his head in amazement, as she colored and sat up hurriedly, pulling a sheet around her.

"Mein ..woh...bathroom" she murmured, getting off the bed, wrapping the sheet tightly around herself.

"Wait, shhh, just wait, meri jaan" he stood up and gathered her into his arms from behind, holding her close until she relaxed against him. "You're my wife, you have every right to ask me anything you want. But Ishita, you don't have to compare yourself to anyone, to worry about anyone. You're an amazing woman, Mrs Bhalla, and you have no idea what you do to me, or how much I love you."

She had not answered, and he had twisted her around to face him, had kissed her softly on her forehead. " Last night was only the beginning jaan. There's so much more I want to show you, so much more I want to learn from you. So don't ever be shy of expressing your feelings to me, or of being yourself. And don't ever compare yourself to anyone. Please"

She had been shaken by the sincerity in his voice and had nodded her head, satisfied for the moment. He had allowed her to leave then, but he had stood staring after her for a long while, marveling that she could still feel insecure after the way she had blown his senses the previous mind.

"But she has no way of knowing, Raman" he reminded himself. He had assured her that what had happened between them was normal, but of course it wasn't. It was so damn extraordinary that it blew his mind. And she had no idea of just how she had affected him.

She had been through so much, and her confidence in herself as a woman, a desirable woman, had been non-existent. And while at times, she seemed supremely confident, matching wits and lips with him, it was obvious that at other times, like now, her insecurities overwhelmed her. He would just have to shower her with his love, reassure her by his actions, until she became confident about his love for her.

************

She had still been dressing when he had returned after his own shower, and coming up to her, he had noticed the deepening hues of the myriad bruises he had bestowed on her.

He had been stricken with guilt, and had insisted on applying a soothing cream to her tender skin, ignoring her protests and berating himself as he did so.

"I'm a brute Ishita" he had said contritely, applying the cream with gentle hands, stooping to blow on her skin from time to time. "I didn't realize how rough I was being, I'm sorry. I'm sorry my love".

But she had shushed him, wanting no apologies.

Last night, he had introduced her to a new Ishita, a brand new version of herself, one she had never known existed, and while this new Ishita scared her somewhat, her Raman did not. She knew she was safe with him, she would always be safe with him.

She was not just a dutiful daughter, a loving mother, a caring dentist, an aunt, a sister, a friend - she was also a passionate woman with needs, a woman who could be loved, a woman who could love. He had awakened her to herself, and for that, she had nothing but gratitude for him.

Her upbringing had been traditional, with sex never discussed with her mother, or giggled about with her sisters. Even with Subbu, there had never been any pressing need, any desperate desire. If she had ever thought of sex, it was as another facet of her future marriage, not as a need to be fulfilled. There had been curiosity, yes, but she had never felt it necessary to satisfy that curiosity.

And then her personal circumstances - Subbu's brutal breaking off of their engagement; the countless rejections due to her infertility, from suitors who were not even worthy of her - it had all left her feeling incomplete, left her feeling she was not worthy of being a woman, not capable of satisfying any man.

But last night, he had dispelled those fears. There were still some insecurities, it was true. Insecurities which were intensified by the realization of just how passionate and skillful he had been with her - skill which was obviously the result of vast experience. Insecurities which questioned whether she alone would be enough for him in the future. But she was determined not to think of that right now.

She had given her husband her complete trust, and he had treasured that trust, had wielded it to enable this new Ishita - a wildly passionate, deeply sensual woman - to emerge from an overlong chrysalis. She felt exhausted, her body tender, his overwhelming passion had indeed marked her, but she had never felt more alive.

So no, she did not need him to apologise to her.

She had turned a tearful face to him, and had told him so, and he had gathered her into his arms, holding her close in his embrace, his own eyes filling up at the realization of just how much she loved him, how much she trusted him.

*******************
After getting dressed, they had breakfasted together, served again by the unobtrusive attendants Raman had called for, who flitted away as soon as the food had been served.

He had happily shared her vegetarian food without a murmur of protest.

"You should have ordered an omelette Raman" she had exclaimed when she saw the idlis and parathas that had been served on the table he was sitting at. " You don't have to eat vegetarian just because of me"

He had put out a hand and pulled her to sit beside him, shushing her.

"Kal raat toh non-veg khaya tha, jaan" ( I had non veg last night my love) he had teased her, laughing as she blushed. "I can manage with veg this morning"

"Kuch bhi" (Whatever) She had protested, covering her face with her hands as he had laughed anew.

"Waise, rating kya dogi? " ( What rating would you give?) he had asked minutes later, as she relished her idli. He was in a happy teasing mood, and he had decided he wanted a rating from his wife on his non-veg performance of the night before.

"Rating?" She had asked, thinking he was talking about the idli . "Hmmm, 5 out of 10. It's not that good."

"Five out of ten!" He exclaimed in mock horror, as he realised she was judging the food, and not him. "You certainly had no complaints last night, madam. And if that was a five, what the hell do I need to do to get a ten, huh?"

"Raman, but the idli..." her voice trailed off as she realised what he was actually talking about, and she blushed hard, pouting up at him. "Raavan Kumar, bilkul Raavan ho." ( You are truly a devil)

It was in the same happy mood that they had made their way to the airport, and she had teased him throughout the flight, distracting him in her special way, not giving him the opportunity to feel nervous.

And so they had landed back in Delhi.

Flashback Ends

***********************************

"Raman, I asked why you didn't let Mihir pick us up?"

"I wanted you to myself, just a little bit longer" he replied, tightening his arms around her as she put her head on his shoulder, her fingers playing with the lapel of his shirt.

"What will we do Raman" she whispered, her eyes clouding at the thought of her imminent separation from him. They lived just metres away, but it may as well have been a continent, for the distance between them would be just as immense, once they were back in the bosoms of their warring families.

And while she had suffered through that distance for the past two weeks she did not think she could do it any longer. Not now. Not after last night.

"It will be all right jaan. Trust me" he said reassuringly, dropping a kiss on her quivering lips. "Ruhi's social welfare assessment is on Wednesday, then we have a case conference with the Family Court Judge on Friday. If the social workers report is good in our favour, the court will encourage Shagun to settle. In any event, after Friday, we can start to work on getting our families together."

"But Raman, your mum hates me" Ishita said softly. "And my parents, they, well, they don't know you and so they.... And now they have their heart set on Abhi. How can we change their minds? All this will take so long, won't it?"

"Kyun" he smiled at her. "Mujhse dur nahi reh sakti ab kya?"
(Why? Can't you stay away from me now?)

"No" she sniffed. "Nahi reh sakti. Kyun, aap reh sakte hai kya mere bina?"
(No, I can't. Why? Can you stay away from me?)

"No, I can't" He made a strangled sound, pulling her closer. " And you know it"

"So what will we do Raman?"

"We won't waste time now" he whispered, kissing her softly. "Love me now"

**********************************************************************************************************
Sun n Sand Resort
Outskirts of Delhi
4.00pm

Ishita sat with Ruhi in her lap, listening to the little girls chatter.

Raman and she had arrived at the resort to find Ruhi with her chachu and bua, eagerly awaiting her parents.

Ruhi had thrown herself into her mothers arms and from then on had refused to leave her side. They had lunched in the Resort's Bistro, had played together in the children's playground, taken a golf buggy to tour the resort and now were finally resting on the lawn in the gardens. Rinki sat with them on the lawn, while Raman and Mihir were walking together, a little distance away.

"And then Ishima, Simi bua wanted to come too. Toh Mihir chachu ne kaha ki uske koi aur friends bhi aa rahe hai, aur sirf two spaces hai car mein. Aur phir hum aa gaye" (Simmi bua wanted to come too. So Mihir chachu said we were picking up his friends and there were only 2 places. And then we came)

"Ruhi, you know it's wrong to tell lies na" Ishita said guiltily, concerned about the effect of this subterfuge on her daughter. " Aap Simi bua ke liye yahan se cake lekar jaana. ( You must take cake for Simi bua from here) Does she like chocolate cake?"

"So is it okay to tell lies if we gift cake afterwards Ishima" Ruhi asked innocently as Rinki choked back a giggle.

"No, beta, that's not okay either."Ishita sighed.

"Ishima, mujhe bhi cake khana hai" (Ishima, I want to eat cake too) Ruhi had been diverted by the thought of cake.

"No beta, you already had ice -cream. Teeth mein cavity ho jayegi. Acha woh dekho, papa aa gaye" (No darling, you already had ice-cream. You'll get cavities. Now look, papa is here)

Indeed, Raman and Mihir were walking towards them, and Ishita blushed as she watched her husband's lithe athletic body, encased in a pair of faded jeans and a white linen shirt, which matched the colors of her own casual salwar suit. His confident gait reminded her again of how he had been the previous night, of the way in which he had taken charge of their lovemaking, had taken charge of her, and she blushed anew, the smile on her face reflecting the happiness in her heart.

"Bhabhi" Rinki said in the brief silence. "Aap ke chehre se lagta hai ki kal sab kuch bahoot acha guzra" (Bhabhi, I can tell from your face that everything went very well yesterday)

Ishita blushed even harder but was saved from answering as Raman and Mihir reached them.

"Ruhi, come to papa" Raman said as he sat down beside Ishita.

"No, mein aap se naraaz hoon." (No, I'm angry with you)

"Why beta?"

"Aap theh nahin kal, and I missed you" (You weren't here yesterday and I missed you)

"Beta, kal aapki Ishima ko kuch zaroori kaam karna tha na, aur woh papa ke bina toh kuch kar hi nahi sakti na, isliye papa ko jaana pada" (Baby, your Ishima had some important work to do yesterday and you know she can't do anything without your papa, that's why I had to go.) He spoke to Ruhi, but his eyes were on Ishita, and she colored crimson under the intensity of his gaze.

"But papa, Rinki bua ne toh kaha aap aur Ishima honeymoon pe gaye theh. Honeymoon kahan hai?" Ruhi looked at him in a confused way. (But papa, Rinki bua said you and Ishima had gone on your honeymoon. Where is a honeymoon?)

"Woh tumhe Rinki bua batayegi" (That your Rinki bua will explain to you) Raman raised a mock fist to his sister, who held her ears in contrition.

"Listen Ruhi" he pulled his daughter on to his lap. "Aap papa se naaraz theh kyunki mein tha nahi, but beta, phir naaraz mat hona, kyunki mujhe Mihir chachu ke saath Mumbai jaana hai." (You'were angry with me because I wasn't here, but don't get angry again baby, because I have to go with Mihir chachu to Mumbai)

"Raman" Ishita interrupted. "Kab jaa rahe ho aap?" (Raman, when are you going?)

"First thing tomorrow jaan, that's what Mihir and I were talking about. Something's come up, we have to go tomorrow." He noted the concern in her eyes and smiled reassuringly.

"But Raman, the social workers..."

"That's on Wednesday. I'll be back before the appointment. Dont worry." He looked searchingly at Ruhi "Beta, papa will be back soon. Lekin tumko Ishima ka khayal rakhna hai, while I'm gone, theek hai" (Baby, I'll be back soon. But you have to look after your Ishima while I'm gone)

He glanced at Ishita, her downcast eyes betraying her sadness.

"Hey madrassan" he said softly. " Its only for two days. And Ruhi will look after you, kyun Ruhi"

Ruhi looked at her papa and her Ishima, and threw her arms around both.

"Huggie" she cried, drawing them both close. "Don't worry papa, mein hamesha rahoongi Ishima ke saath."
(Don't worry papa, I'll always be with Ishima)

***********************************
Outside Mihir's apartment
6. 30 pm

Mihir had dropped Ishita and Raman at his apartment to collect their cars, and had then taken Ruhi and Rinki back with him to Aakash Ganga Society.

Raman held Ishita in his arms as they sat together in Mihir's apartment, knowing they had to go home, but not wanting to leave each other's sanctuary.

"Please biwi" he whispered. "It's only for two days, I'll be back soon, Itni sad mat ho meri jaan"
(Don't be so sad, my love)

"I don't want to leave you" Ishita held on to him tightly. "Ab aap se dur nahi reh sakti" (I can't stay away from you now)

"Do you think I can stay away from you, my love? But just a little while longer baby" he comforted her, rubbing her back, touched by her unwillingness to part from him. "Everything will be ok soon. We will have Ruhi's custody and we will be together."

"Promise, Raman?" She raised her dark eyes to him.

"Ruhi promise" he replied, caressing her face softly before claiming her lips. " I can't stay away from you either now Ishita"

Tu tu hai wahi dil  ne jisse apna kaha
Tu hai jahan mein hoon wahan
Ab toh yeh jeena tere bin hai sazaa

Ho mil jaaye is tarah
Do lehren jis tarah
Mil jaaye is tarah
Do lehren jis tarah
Phir hona judaa
Haan yeh vaada raha

Mein awaaaz hoon  toh Tu hai geet mera
Mein awaaaz hoon  toh Tu hai geet mera
Jahan se niraala manmeet mera
Mil jaaye is tarah do lehren jis tarah
Ho Mil jaaye is tarah do lehren jis tarah
Phir hona judaa haan yeh vaada raha

Kisi mod pe bhi na yeh saath toote
Mere haath se tera daaman na choote
La la la la la
Kabhi khwab mein bhi Tu mujh se na roothe
Mere pyar ki koi khushiyaan na loote...
Mil jaaye is tarah do lehren jis tarah
Phir hona judaa yeh vaada raha

Tu tu hai wahi dil ne jisse apna kaha
Tu hai jahan mein hoon wahan
Ab toh yeh jeena tere bin hai sazaa

Tujhe mein jahan ki nazar se churaloon
Kahin dil ke kone mein tujh ko chupaloon
Kabhi zindagi mein pade mushkile
Mujhe tu sambhale tujhe mein sambhalon
Mil jaaye is tarah do lehren jis tarah
Phir hona judaa yeh vaada raha

Yeh vaada raha