Thu. 5

To be honest, last Sunday can be considered as a blast. It was the Inspiration Day of my school, and I arrived late. I had a chance to meet T.T (a pseudonym name that I give him), B.N (a pseudonym name), and I danced, sang songs, cheered, ate bread (it was better than I expected), drank lots of water because it was scorching hot.

But the reason I want to jot down this time is not that wonderful day, but some ordinary days. I'd love to give you a lens to take a look at my real life, a not-make-up life as you'd normally watch on the Internet.

Let's be real. I learnt a lot, worked with deadlines, and my test wasn't good. We did homework, and I scored rather low. I want to go in for the city competition and I need to work harder. And I must balance my time better. I must get rid of unnecessary things: games (I played it once last Saturday because last Friday I had a day off, and it dawned on me that I had better stop playing it temporarily), Instagram (I deleted it), Facebook stories (i shouldn't post anything as they are such a waste of time), Capcut (it's tempting but I must resist from overly diving in it).

I want to go in for that competition and obtain a prize, so I must measure up. I'm presumed to be a great student, some hold a notion that I'm good at maths,... and tbh, I'd like to keep those perceptions like that (to motivate me and to polish my image, as my sister once said). But deep in my heart, I know what's missing from me. My specialized English is not as good as others', and that's what I need to improve. For my GPA, for my future.

Another thing, from now on I'll use my powerful placebo: "as long as I can study abroad, I'll embrace all arduous challenges". I used to utilize this sentence and it worked well so yeh. I dream big, and I do big.

Today I just feel blue, out of the blue =)) that's why I feel like: I'm just making provisions for my future studying abroad, just embrace it and things will work out fine.

I appreciate everything I have today, thank my fam, my friends, my relatives. You're enough, I don't really need a boyfriend this time or a popular clique. I need my prize, my future.

(bonus: I had a whale of a time today with an online pagoda application with my friends, and I also spent time with my mom&brother.)