Tell us what happens when there is a fan? What a dark prompt master we have.

Yes, I'm talking about you 

I'll tell you what happens when there is a fan! Just a half hour of research on the internet revealed to me the horrors of what happens when there is a fan. Just like that BOOM, new fear unlocked! I never worried about fans before. In fact, I found them pleasant on a warm summer's day. But now I'm paranoid. And I'll make you paranoid as well. Read on. You're welcome.

Electric fans were a problem from the start. Invented in 1886 by an electrical engineer in New York City named Schuyler Skaats Wheeler (clearly a psychopath intent on bringing about the demise of human civilization). His first design, mass produced by Crocker & Curtis Electric Motor Co., consisted of brass blades without a cage surrounding them and a strong DC motor also unprotected. So the first fan could both cut your fingers off and deliver a fatal electric shock. Apparently even if the fan was turned off, if it was connected to an electrical socket, it could still kill you if you touched the metal parts.

Still they were handsome and they provided relief on a hot summer's day in New York City. And if you have ever been in New York City in the summer, you know it might just be worth the risk of death to get some relief from the heat. In fact, your can't really go to New York City without risking a little death anyhow. It's part of what makes it the greatest city on earth. And thus humanity was seduced by the electric fan. 

(note the light bulb was used as an electrical resistor to slow the uber strong motor down rather than to provide light):

Ok, fine, so some safety upgrades were made over the years, but sources I cannot reveal (that I also found on Google) shared with me a top secret government memorandum about the hazards of electric fans. I would cite my source but someone might lose their job or their head. Wait, you don't believe me? Ok, ok, fine, I share the link with you: https://www.cpsc.gov/s3fs-public/hazardupdate.pdf

This little dossier from 2004 reveals the chilling fact that between 1990 and 1998 about a hundred people died as a result of fans either from a fire or electrocution. 

I could tell that this little research project of mine was headed to a grim conclusion. I began scrolling through international media. I tried to avoid pictures of children in Israel who had lost fingers as recently as 2020 to a defective fan model. Then BOOM. It turns out the South Korea as known since the 1970's what we are all just learning now– a secret makers of fans have been trying to hide for over a century. The logical grim conclusion to a story that was twisted from the start: Fan Death. 

"Fan death" (seonpunggi samang, 선풍기 사망) is the belief that going to sleep in an enclosed room with an electric fan blowing directly on an individual could be fatal and it is wide-spread in South Korea. Despite lack of scientific evidence that it could possibly be true, the Korea Consumer Protection Board (funded by the government) issued a press release that said fan death was one of the five leading causes of summer injuries between 2003 and 2005.

So this summer, when the heat wave hits, turn on your fan if you dare, sip your margarita, and if you aren't maimed or dead yet, try not to fall asleep.