CHAPTER 24 LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

It was a rather cold day in the winter. Right before the first dawning of spring, when frigid rains knocked flower blossoms loose from the ends of branches.  The days where birds cuddled against one another for warmth, and bugs crawled into unruly spaces to stay dry from the shower. The days when umbrellas were forfeited for hats and sweaters turned to T-shirts, when hot chocolate becomes strawberry milk in sunny parks. The beginning of April before he disappeared, if he remembered the time correctly it would've only been a week or two before.

The days when Jeongin had often found himself at Seungmin's house, or Seungmin at his apartment.

Their notebooks had been strewn out with their textbooks across Seungmin's desk, university assignments long abandoned along with the wired headphones still plugged into the younger's phone as a muted melody played from their speakers. Beneath the tapping of the humid rain against his window they could hardly hear that song anymore. The room had been heavy with the scent of sweat and something sweet like saccharine that clung to the corners no matter the gusts of air from that cheap thrifted fan his boyfriend loved so dearly. Maybe it was their skin, their hair, or inside of the wallpapers, forever burned as evidence against their backs.

Seungmin had been still within his arms. Laid peacefully as his back pressed flush into his own bare chest, their breaths that moved together to collide again and again, their legs had tangled up together naturally to the arm his head rested on and the hand his fingers tightly coiled with in play. They must have been in that position on the small double bed underneath the warm navy blue comforters for... Hours at that point. Minutes? Maybe it was days. They could've stayed like that for centuries, and neither of them would have minded too much.

His boyfriend busied himself, playing with his fingers; Squeezing the knuckles, tracing their outlines with his nails and the pads of his fingertips as he dragged them along the creases of his palms, tangling up their fingers like woven knits before releasing them, occupied within the fidgeting as he murmured to Jeongin, "You wouldn't stay, would you?"

"What do you mean?" He had asked, clutching his hand around Seungmin's fingers to reassure him.

"One of these days, something else will come along. And you will be off. You'll pick up the wind in your sail, and you'll be gone," Seungmin moved his hand away from Jeongin's, slipping the grip off of him as he slowly moved away from the body behind him. As languidly, he pressed himself up to his elbows and sat off the mattress, "That's who you are. You're made for more than this life."

Though he kept his back turned to Jeongin. His eyes focused somewhere on the melancholic storms that thundered against the glass panels of his window beyond that room, but almost wanting to reach out to them as he kicked his legs over the side of the mattress.

"There's something else out there, waiting to find you."

He followed after. Pressing himself up to the support of his hand as he moved to caress his boyfriend's arm. A soft whisper he had stamped into the supple skin of that bare shoulder in promise, "Only if you'd be there with me."

Seungmin had turned back to him. A melancholic smile tossed over his shoulder he couldn't quite decipher, before he turned himself away and stood from the edge of the mattress.

Softly he had slipped away from Jeongin's arms,

And something within his heart knew he would never hold him in the same way again.

When his consciousness tenderly clicked back into place, Jeongin found himself stirring awake in an unfamiliar room. Against the cushioned comforter of plain wool sheets tucked around his body, where the thin linen shirt he was snuggled into protected him from the twisted curls of the fabric trying to wick him of the warmth radiating from his skin despite the temperature finally settling into something that could be considered normal. Beneath his body, the mattress he was melted into rocked gently from side to side. As if he was in a craddle. Being moved side to side to the melody of a lullaby he couldn't hear over the yearning of the creaking wood and swaying lantern his eyes hesitantly fluttered open to see.

To quickly chase fast glances wherever he could attempt to see. Though the tender warmth of the scarce lanterns and the half melted candle sitting on the nightstand by the bedside welcomed him into a world far away from the dreamscape he had been pleasantly sucked into, the illumination abraded his exhausted eyes into scrunching him. Into protecting the weakness hovering over his muscles and the lead shackles that seemed to have been cursed upon him to not move a muscle from underneath the sheets despite having every ability to. The ants that crawled on his skin turned to tingles that pricked like feathers against his veins. The labored breaths he took no longer plaguing him, though a mild ache still remained within his throat.

He tried to take in his surroundings regardless. The unfamiliar pattern of carved fairytales along the wooden planks creating the roof of this room he was within. The unfamiliar placement of lanterns, one that hung at the foot of the bedside, another hung across the way, their glow that lit fires against his eyes reeling from a smoke he couldn't see. The sheets themselves were an odd creme color too, a real bed, a real mattress rather than the makeshift rolls they slept on in the holds, and the room itself was decorated cleanly. Though not as ornate as Chan's, this room was similar; A desk strewn with maps and books, as well as different bowls, a few used rags, and crystal vials that tipped over onto the top; A rug woven from eclectic colors from another part of the world entirely; The owner's own cabinets of books, trinkets, though his trophies weren't as expansive as the Captain's.

Until finally, his eyes sunk to the weight pressed on the mattress beside him. Where Seungmin had been sitting at a strange angle in the chair he dragged over to the bedside, his head sunk into the folded pillows of his arms as his eyes shut firmly tight. Head lulled to the side as he fell into the oblivious darkness of what dreams came to greet him.

Jeongin could only shift his head against the pillow beneath him. A comfort that came to heart as he watched the First Mate firmly asleep.

Why did I dream of him?

A sort of luminance casting constantly from Seungmin's being, as if the brilliant sun itself graced the world he walked. As if the rivers themselves would stop gushing across boulders to permit him safe passage in his journey. As if the sky melted and sung to the clouds to ease their storm so he would not be over cumbered with the rain. As if the forests would bend and twist to allow the smallest fawn to listen to his words. To his breath. The same tumbling breath Jeongin found himself fumbling in it's allure. He had been that bowlegged fawn, freckled spots pronouncing his ignorance, stumbling through the overgrown underbrush as his wobbly feet chased the sound. The rhythmic gasps. The drumming heartbeat which laid beneath.

Seungmin pulled his head across the fabric covering his arms, subtly trying to clear the wad of dribble from the corner of his mouth as he readjusted his head on the pillow of his forearms. His neck, crooned at the bent angle must've ached by now. His shoulders trembled with the discomfort of supporting his head for the longer period of time. His back argued with his spine, a fight over who belonged where, what they should be doing, definitely, not bent over in the odd angle they were currently situated in. Despite that, his cheek nuzzled into the comforting warmth of his forearms. His breaths quivering gently as he pulled his limbs closer to himself, a desperate beg on his mind accompanying the whispered pules spilling from his body attempting to wake.

No... That was my memory, wasn't it? Why did I dream of my memories?

Jeongin forced himself to lift his hand and brushed the strands of hair clouding Seungmin's features back. In a ghosted touch, barely noticeable, afraid to alert him to the presence of the connection drawing lines against his skin. Continuing to do this; Gently guiding the strands of hair back, away from the puffs of sleepy breath, holding them there for a moment, before the threads would break loose from the pull and scurry back go where they found it most comfortable to hang, then the fingers would repeat their faint circuit. It seemed the more that touch would attempt to be subtle, attempt to not be noticed, attempt to be hazy, mild, muted, the louder the connection became.

Seungmin tilted his head into the connection. Quietly, wanting more. Wanting the ease to continue and force him back to sleep. Jeongin hesitated for a moment. Locked up, and pulled back. But the First Mate snuggled back into his arms, a barely audible whine rattling his throat at the leave of comfort. And a few breaths after, Jeongin was back. Combing through his hair with delicacy as he finally rasped to him, "Seung..."

Through his semi-concious stupor, Seungmin managed to lift his head from the protective barrier of the forearms closing him off to the world. He let his eyes fall open, swarming with a sleepiness but with something more than a simple curiosity. The deep, earthen eyes glimmered and swirled with the oceans dancing against the hauls of the galleon they were inside of. The scrunch of his lips at the corners as the twitched, the widening of his eyes as his gaze twisted to provide a better view, "Jeongin...?"

His eyes then widening by tenfold as his exhaustion was washed away. Almost, shocked that Jeongin was somehow alive and breathing. Which, probably, he was. Before either of them could dwell too long on the reaction, Seungmin was lifting his head up and fretting over him, "H-how are you feeling Innie?"

"This is awful. I feel like I was eaten, digested, and shit out by a dragon," He scoffed at the First Mate, the soft smile he was given in response enough for him to relax back into the pillow once more. Settling again as his arm flopped back to his side, "How long have I been out for?"

"Six days."

"Six?! Six days!? Damn! What the hell?!"

"You've missed a bit. That little Sprite you befriended, she told Chan she had been trying to figure out the poisonings on her own. She's helping the others with creating an antidote that will help with the crossfire. The Queen will be okay too," The First Mate straightened himself up in the ache of his spine, the twisted fibers groaning as they winced his features up with discomfort. Allowing themselves to sit properly in the antique burgundy chair he rested in by that bedside, slumping his shoulders down as he recalled to Jeongin, "Whatever was in that assassin's bag was strong enough to nullify the poison in the waters. There was enough of it for you and Changbin too. You're... An exeedingly lucky person for what might be the entirely wrong reasons."

With a curt scrunch of his face, Seungmin slapped his chest hard,

"But don't do that again!"

"OW!" Jeongin flinched, recoiling as he quickly lifted his hands to block the attack.

"Don't ever do something this stupid again!" But the blockade to defend was as useless as a cappuccino after drinking monster energy for three hours straight, his frontline defenses were broken to shards, his forces suffered heavy casualties, because Seungmin simply slapped his his chest again. For extra measure. A bit harder this time too. On the same spot already stinging from the palm, most likely about to bruise up as hard as his nose did when he was elbowed in the face. Seungmin's eyes seemed to shimmer with a wetness in their corners as he lectured him with the same amount of fury Jeongin's Mom would yell at him with when he broke her high heels, "Three days! You were poisoned for three damn days and you said nothing to anyone, youー"

Jeongin scrunched up, again trying to block his chest from being smacked for a third time (That shit HURT too, Seungmin was fucking strong as hell and the fact he was smacked by him twice was not enjoyable in the slightest) as he reached to grab Seungmin's hand. Intertwining their hands together as he stopped him, "Not true, Felix and Chan knew."

"You can't blame them for your lack of judgement!" Seungmin kept lecturing him regardless. Obviously. Jeongin almost died because of his own choices, if he expected to go free without some sort of argument or discipline then he would just be kidding himself at that point, even if he knew nothing would really become of it anyway and he'd probably make a stupid decision or two again in the near future. Still, what he didn't expect, was for Seungmin to be so.... Upset. Glossiness that brimmed up in his eyes and a color that burned into the tip of his nose as he seemed to restrain his words, choking and tripping over what he wanted to say, "You were almost dead, Jeongin! If we didn't get to you in time, if your Sprite wasn't there to tell us where you were... I thought you'd be gone, youー"

The manner in which the words stopped themselves. Clogged up in his throat. Choking entirely as he could only release a shaky breath from between his lips. For someone as proud as he was, as unwavering and untouchable as he presented himself to be as the First Mate to their Captain, how fragile he had became in the quiet of that room. How truly afraid he seemed to be, how truly relieved he seemed to be as Seungmin could only fall quiet in the midst of their stillness. As Jeongin watched him from where he laid against that man's mattress, waiting to understand how he hung his head low, how he seemed to try to hide his eyes tightly behind as that gloss grew and the hand laced within his squeezed.

Squeezing down, locking their fingers together as if he was afraid Jeongin would slip from his arms.

If he had the strength left in his recooperating body, he would've sat up and tugged him into his arms. He would've snuggled Seungmin. He would've embraced him, held him tightly in the small of his back to press their bodies together as he always did, would've brought him close enough to whisper reassurances into his ear. To tell him he would be alright. Instead, Jeongin pulled their intertwined hands onto his chest. Bracing his hand against the thundering of his recovering heartbeat as he reassured him, "I'm not going anywhere."

"Don't make that promise to me if you know it's a lie. You were on the verge of dying. How can you say you're not going anywhere if you make choices like this," Seungmin squeezed their hands together even tighter, closing his eyes harder together and turning his head away before a shaky breath carried those words, "And... and one day, you're going to go home, Jeongin. We'll find you a way home. To University. To Library. And, then, you'll be gone. All of this will be memories for you. Nothing more. So don't... Don't say that you're not going anywhere if you know it isn't true."

Seungmin could've hid as much as he wanted to. But Jeongin knew the scrunch of his eyes. He knew the tilting of his head. He knew the strength which he clutched their hands together with. He knew the unstable quakes of those shaky breaths inhaled to control his composure. He knew the tint of pink at the tip of his nose, and he knew his own heart shattered to pieces when he recognized what it all meant. His own heart yearning as he extended his free hand to Seungmin. Longing to connect to him once more. His palm that fit together with his cheek, the warmth of that skin against his,

And the tears that finally poured tenderly from the First Mates eyes as he opened them to look back at Jeongin. That shattered heart being stomped to bits as he tried to wipe away what fell with his thumb and whispered, "Why are you crying?"

"I'm going to miss you," Was the simple answer that Seungmin gave through a trembling breath.

"What are you even talking about? Miss me? All I do is wear cool outfits and tell silly jokes. I'm the world's biggest fuck up and one hell of a failure," Jeongin joked, quirking as much of a teasing smile he could muster up to lighten their heavy hearts. Continuing to wipe away the First Mates tears with his thumb, before retreating to wipe them away gently with his knuckles, "I've only caused you trouble Seung, since the first day I got here. I've only made your life harder. Why are you going to miss someone like me?"

"When all of this is over, I'm really going to miss you. I don't... Understand it but I will. When we found you I've never felt so afraid for someone to be gone," Seungmin admitted.

Softly, his hand came to clutch at the one on his cheek. Their hands that connected them together like the ropes that moor galleons to the security of harbors, welcoming them home from the harsh tides that once thundered against their hauls.

His voice was as quiet as the waves against the horizon as he cried.

"I felt as if a part of my heart would have died with you."

That pull of mystery from the other's tear-filled eyes. The eternal stories which laid in the deep hues. The infinite tales which were forever enclosed in his chest, never to be said. The ancient eyes that were as risky as the ocean itself, high tides that dragged him out to sea, engrossing him, engulfing him inside the other, until all Jeongin would understand was the intense draw to know more. To understand more. To hear him, to see him, to discover the truth behind the strange man and who he was, where he came from, what those tired yet young eyes saw, what wisdom they had unfurled from the depths of the underground world. What stormed he stirred, and which waves were calmed. What battles he fought. Which wars he won. Jeongin wanted to know it all again, the same as he once did what felt like so long ago. And the longer his eyes were locked with Seungmin's, the farther he found himself sinking deeply into their depths.

To be met with the unyielding beam of the powerful ache inside of his crying eyes, That infinite stream of rivers glazing, soft and gentle in the way it washed over him with a fondness, an understanding of everything that they may have come to see, the horrors they shouldn't have witnesses,

They seemed to know.

They seemed to know everything.

But those eyes also came closer to him, the fingers which held fastened to his continuing to clutch at him with a desperation he couldn't break. Despite everything which told him to pull away to honor Chan's wished, to not be in such a close proximity to him when he was told to keep a distance between their hearts, he didn't. He didn't move away. He didn't pull his head away.

But Seungmin pulled away.

Quickly, releasing Jeongin's hands back to himself as he hurried to wipe his tears away, "I'm sorry."

"Hey..." Jeongin called him softly.

The First Mate shook his head, sucking in a hard breath as he cleared the last of the trails off on his sleeve and scooted his chair away, "This whole situation has me shaken up, that's all. I should go check on the others."

He tried again, "Seung."

"I'll let you be," His attempt was dismissed as Seungmin stood up from his seat and turned to leave the quarters.

Jeongin panicked. He mustered up every little bit of strength his body could, and lunged to grab him.

Snagging up his wrist to pull him back with a surprised gasp from the other, his other fishing around the nape of the First Mate's neck,

Pulling him down,

Pulling him into a kiss.

Their lips that had fit together so perfectly, the eruption of an unstoppable feeling bursted in his chest, how they moved together in sync as if they had kissed one another for years before, he heard the symphony of a world beyond them, yet could only focus on the pounding of his heart beneath his ribcage.

It was gazing into the deepest everblues waves that errupted into mist speckling his cheeks, watching as the sunset light fires atop the peaks of waters and burning it's hues across their crystal purity. He wanted to fall into those welcoming ocean waters. He wanted to drown in the serenity of the sea those lips were.

It was the telling of a fairytale; A story long forgotten, a story long abandoned underneath the grass in the meadows and the ferns in the forest, a story which was locked away as the trees fell asleep, as the world stopped singing. The recalling of the taste of morning dew on the lips that moved against Jeongin, a divinity that was the sweetest thing he ever savored. Like flowers, like rivers, like streams, babbling brooks, chamomile teas, there was a mystic to it. A clearness like a nyaid and a coarseness like the dryads, the mystical hypnosis of the mischievous fae and the remedy of the fauns. The protection of a dragon, an all-powerful deity that promised to guard him at any and all costs, and the overwatching eyes of Gods he had never known.

He was fairytales, the thundering of tempests on the distance as it breathed life, and that kiss was their memories spilled onto Jeongin.

Seungmin had never been like this.

Yes, he felt himself soar during their first kiss.

But never like this.

Their kiss naturally broke, staying within the lack of distance as their foreheads tapped together and their breaths huffed against one another. Where Seungmin's hands had gripped desperately at the sheets to keep himself from toppling onto Jeongin, and the aching of his own elbow that lifted for them to meet.

"I'm not going anywhere," He insisted, moving the hand he once placed on the back of his neck to brush his hair out of his face. Away from the tears that were spilling against his cheeks once more.

Seungmin nodded. Silently answering to that promise as he connected their lips once more.

The waters that rocked the galleon that day had never been so calm.

And maybe it was only a feeling in his heart,

Yet for the first time, he couldn't help but feel like he had returned home.

𓇼༝ ˚ ｡⋆ ☾₊ ⊹𖠳 ᐝ ꕀ ⋆｡ ˚ ༝𓇼