My heart feels heavy. I feel heavy. I stare up at my ceiling, breathing deeply and I try to push the images of my dream out of my head. It was the same dream with the same imminent ending - Harry's lifeless body collapsing as I stand there unable to help or move or do anything. In my dreams, I can't even scream.

I yank the Dreamscope cords out of my bracelet and throw them to the floor beside my bed, disgusted with myself for not being able to block the recurring nightmare out of my mind. Something must be wrong with me if I can't even dream about something normal for one night. My heart is just beginning to return to its normal rhythm as I fling the covers off of my sweat-soaked body.

It's been four days since my disastrous date with Logan and I've been holed up in my home, avoiding him and avoiding everyone else, namely Alec. It would've been a nice break to stay curled up in my bed, but instead of trying to process my feelings for Logan, I've been a prisoner to my dreams and the terror that they leave in their wake.

Unfortunately, I have to return to the real world today and actually go outside and attempt to do something productive. I have a meeting with my life advisor later and I don't want to be late since it will be my very first meeting with her. It's a nerve-wracking thought. 

Before you turn twenty in Amberly, you meet with a life advisor and they try to place you in a specific work program based on your interests and talents. Cade had an interest in reading, writing, and nature when he was younger, which made him the perfect candidate for his job researching trees and other plants in nature.

With no specific interests or talents in mind, I have no idea what I'll even say to this life advisor of mine who I've never even met before. I'm not sure how someone can accurately place me in a work program that I'll be in for the duration of my life based on a twenty-minute conversation that we're about to have. It seems like bullshit to me.

At long last, I push myself from the warmth of my bed and rub my eyes as I make my way to the bathroom. The image that greets me in the mirror isn't a pleasant one. I have light purple marks under my eyes, which is evidence that I've been restless during the nighttime hours. Great, this will help me make a wonderful first impression with my life advisor.

The shower I take helps to relieve some of my anxiety and I breathe in the scent of roses. The cleanser scanner had offered me aromatherapy oils and I decided to indulge in them. I rub a small pool of soap between my hands until it lathers and I run the foam up and down my arms, noticing that my muscles feel slightly weak from staying in one place for the past few days.

After getting out and walking through the dryer panels, I walk back to my room to retrieve my clothes. I need to wear something that will give off the illusion that I take this whole work program thing seriously. 

Rummaging through my closet proves to be more work than I originally thought it would be. I don't pay attention to what clothing I have, so I haven't noticed how lacking I am in my choices. Every year we are all allowed to select six new pieces for our wardrobe that complies with the uniform code. I usually tend to go for a more casual look, so finding anything that looks presentable is a challenge.

"Nya," a voice says softly behind me.

I jump up from my crouching position and gasp as I drop the shirt I was holding. My heart feels as though it's jumped to my throat when I turn to see Harry's figure sitting on my unmade bed.

"Shit. You scared me." I laugh shakily and try not to murder him right then and there for showing up unexpectedly for the second time in the past week. What the hell is he doing here?

He clears his throat uncomfortably and that's when I notice that I'm still not wearing any clothing. Well fuck. Not this again.

"That's the second time we've run into each other like this," Harry laughs quietly as I throw on the shirt that I dropped and a pair of underwear.

I look at him and see that he's averting his eyes. Well, that's certainly a difference from how he made his rude comment to me earlier this week about how it's nothing he hasn't seen before. The memory of that turns my mood sour.

"Don't think it will happen again," I say crossly. I'm still pissed that he snuck in here. 

"I wasn't counting on it." He gives me a small smile to let me know that he's trying to joke with me. I appreciate his attempt at lightening the mood.

"So why have you snuck into my house this time?" I ask, joining him on my bed but keeping my distance. "Don't you think it's a bit creepy of you?" 

He pulls anxiously at the long sleeve of his shirt and it makes my stomach clench with dread and anticipation. But when his green eyes meet mine, they have a calming effect on me.

"I'm sorry about surprising you like this. If there was another way for me to meet with you, I'd do it differently. It's just too risky," he tries to explain with guilt in his voice.

"You're not being careful," He goes on. He bites his bottom lip and the sight of him gives me another feeling in my stomach, but this time it isn't dread. I quickly dismiss the thought and allow Harry to continue. "I don't think you realize how imperative it is that you don't draw attention to yourself."

"How am I drawing attention to myself?" I ask in shock. "I've been in my room for the past four days. I thought I was actually doing a good job at hiding out."

He gives me a pointed look. "Do you consider that to be normal behavior? Especially for you?"

"What are you implying?" I ask, but Harry just gives me a look, so I go on. "It's not like people know what I'm doing in here." I roll my eyes in response to his dramatic warnings.

"Everyone your age in Amberly is going out, trying to talk to people in the work program that they're interested in. How do you think it looks that you haven't spoken to anyone about work? Or that you've used your last few days before your meeting just sitting around?" Harry tugs at his hair, clearly out of frustration.

Without thinking about it, my hand reaches out to him and I grab one of his large, rough hands from his hair. He looks down at my hand, still holding his, and his lips part slightly in surprise. I set his hand down on the knee of his slightly ripped pants and quickly retract my own.

"It - It just makes you look suspicious," he says shakily. "You need to go along and do what everyone else is doing. You can't stand out so much."

"So you want me to be a mindless clone?" I scoff in annoyance. "You sound like Alec." 

"I want you to not run away on dates with Logan," he says sternly, appearing to have regained his composure.

"Or what?" I raise my eyebrows, challenging him.

He scoots closer to me on the bed until his face is inches away from mine. My stomach dips from his nearness and the feeling is foreign to me. Logan has never made me feel nervous due to his close proximity to me in the past.

"I know that you think questioning everything makes you unique, but it doesn't. It makes you a stubborn pain in the ass. And that is what will eventually lead you to getting killed." His mouth is hardened in a thin line, but his eyes reveal that he's troubled by his own words. 

I feel like I've been slapped in the face and my cheeks burn with embarrassment. How can he have the nerve to even think that, let alone say it? He doesn't even know me. He has no idea what makes me unique.

"I can see you thinking a mile a minute and I know you're probably pissed off -" He says, trying to ease the tension that he's created.

"You're damn right, I am," I interrupt him. "You've just insulted me and you don't even know me!" 

He sighs, backing away from me but not sitting quite as far away as he was at the beginning of our conversation.

"I'm just trying to help, Nya." He shrugs and almost looks defeated.

"I wasn't expecting you to give up so easily," I try to provoke him. I can tell that he's right - I am being a pain in the ass - but I'm not going to give him the satisfaction of agreeing with him. 

After a moment, he looks up at me and smirks. It's the same expression he wore the first time I saw him in my bathroom.

"You're not that lucky. I'm not giving up." Harry smiles and a dimple appears. "Yet," he adds.

Silence passes between us and I wonder again how Harry knows all of this about me. I almost ask him, but something in my mind tells me that I'll have no luck at getting answers. Harry told me I'd get my answers when the time is right. Patience has never been easy for me, but I decide not to push the issue for the time being.

Harry stands to leave, his tall frame towering over me as I stay seated on the bed. "Go on another date with Logan. Smile and pretend like you're having a good time. You need to fake it. I know you don't like being a cookie cutter version of everyone else, but right now that's your safest bet. Please, please do this. I promise it won't last forever." 

His body is stiff and his arms hang heavily by his sides as he fights out the words. It's apparent that he doesn't even like his own instructions for me. 

"Okay," I agree. As soon as the word leaves my lips, I'm shocked by my compliance. The look on Harry's face tells me that he's quite surprised as well.

"I'm fighting for you, Nya." At that, Harry shuts my door behind him and I'm left yet again with my jumbled thoughts.