Harry drops his gaze, as if caught in the caught.

"You're too perceptive for your own good, you know that?" He asks, blowing out a breath. "That's why you don't fit in here. You ask the questions that no one else even thinks to ask."

"I care a lot." I find one of his hands and lace my fingers through his. "At least about what you have to say."

"You have an odd way of showing it most of the time," he jokes. "But this right now... This is nice." He squeezes my hand and I appreciate the rough texture of his palm.

"You're avoiding the question," I point out, trying to get the conversation back on track.

"You're stubborn," Harry notes, and I turn my head to stick my tongue out at him. "But I guess I should start giving you some answers at some point, shouldn't I?"

My heart picks up speed. I was absolutely not expecting him to be so willing about this.

"You should. It would only be reasonable." I nod my head in semi-mock seriousness.

"Or...I could find other ways of avoiding the question." He presses his lips to the spot on my neck right below my ear and my body automatically responds to his touch. The heat his mouth leaves against my skin fills my entire body. His lips are soft and warm and they move with fervor down my neck and back up again.

My body locks up as Harry continues his unexpected exploration of my collarbone. His unpredictability leaves my mind swimming. My breathing picks up speed and I know I have to stop this if I want to hear Harry's answer. He makes it so difficult to concentrate and it takes all of my willpower to push his head away from me.

He sighs dejectedly. "Fine, fine. I figured it wouldn't work anyway. But it did last longer than I thought it would." He smirks and I realize that I'm beginning to love it when he does, even if I thought it made him look like an arrogant asshole when I first met him.

"What?" He asks me after I haven't said anything. Harry gives me a strange look and I realize that my eyes have widened and I'm probably revealing how shocked I feel on the inside.

"What was that?" I ask, feeling completely thrown by his recent display of affection.

"What was what?" He asks, trying to feign innocence.

"Harry..." I scold. "We went from awkwardly not being able to kiss a moment ago to...to that! Whatever that was... Excuse me for being confused," I say sarcastically.

"It was whatever you want it to be." The tone in his voice keeps me from pressing him further.

"So would you like to answer my other question instead of talking about your annoying distractions?" 

"I really doubt that you found that to be annoying." He laughs and I swat at his arm with my free hand. "Okay, yeah I'll tell you."

He goes silent and I look up at him questioningly, trying to wait patiently for him to speak. I admire how his jaw looks from this angle. It has light stubble along the edge and I have an urge to run my fingers along it, but I don't since there's a very likely chance that that would lead to more distractions.

"I'm not from here, from Amberly," he admits quietly. "You were right, I guess. I can't tell you anything else about that right now, which I'm sure you're not surprised about. I don't want to be secretive with you, but it will -"

"Keep me safe, I know," I finish for him, exasperated. He can't drop that kind of information on me and not expect me to have questions about it. His explanation didn't clear anything up for me. If anything, it leaves me more puzzled than before.

Harry nods tersely. "You're sick of hearing that." He says it as a statement, not a question. This time it's my turn to nod.

"I just want to understand." I feel like a child - like I'm being given an explanation that an adult would find appropriate for me at this stage in my life. But I'm not a child, and I can handle whatever it is that Harry's keeping from me. 

"I want you to understand, I do. But I've just gone and told you something that you shouldn't even know. That puts you in enough danger as it is because now you have to make sure you don't tell anyone else. It's another secret that I'm adding to your list of things you have to hide from everyone else. It's another burden for you." He bites his lips, his forehead scrunched up with worry.

"Who would I even tell? Cade? Alec? Logan? My social circle isn't exactly extensive," I laugh bitterly.

"It's not them that I'm worried about. Well actually, I take that back. I'd be worried about Logan because he seems like a dick - "

"So you're encouraging me to stay in a relationship with someone you're claiming is a dick?" I raise my eyebrows in annoyance. "Nice." 

"No!" Harry says hurriedly. "No, no, it's not like that. I just...I don't know him. Maybe he's a fine person." His face looks like he's tasted something bitter as he sputters out the last words.

"Real convincing, Harry." I cross my arms over my chest. 

"It has to be this way, but not for long. You trust me, right?" He waits until I nod reluctantly before continuing. "There's a reason for this and it will all become clear eventually. I don't want you to have to do these things, I don't. But it's to keep you safe. That's the priority." 

As Harry goes on, it seems like he's trying to convince himself as much as he's trying to convince me. His face is filled with guilt. 

"You just can't tell anyone, Nya. You can't even tell them about me being here...at all," he says after I don't respond.

"Ever?" I ask, perplexed.

In my deluded mind, I had imagined Harry's presence as a permanence for the foreseeable future. If he leaves, that really means that I'll be entrapped to a life of pleasing everyone around me - Alec. Cade. Logan. This new knowledge that I can't tell anyone about him means that Harry probably won't be around much longer. He could leave any day now and never come back. It makes me feel sick.

Tonight, for the first time in so long, I started to show someone else my vulnerability. It might not have been much... Obviously Logan and I had done much more, physically. But even in the brief touches I shared with Harry tonight, I felt more in tune with myself and with what I want.

"No, never." Sadness tinges his voice.

"Then why are you here with me now?" Pulling my hand from his grasp, I run it raggedly through my hair.

"Because we need to talk - "

"But all you ever do is confuse me more and you never give me real answers," I yell, frustration evident in my tone. I won't let him see that he's crushing me. I would rather have him believe that I'm just angry with him than to open up to him again.

"I know. Nya, I know. I'm not sure what I can do to make this better for you. Maybe I shouldn't have even come. I guess I'm not sure about anything right now." Harry lowers his head in defeat, angry at himself.

"Then you shouldn't have come into my life just to make it more complicated. I don't need that from you," I lash out angrily. I don't really mean it, but my temper gets the best of me.

"I know, you're right, I should probably leave," he says in a monotone, defeated.

"Yeah, you probably should," I huff, feeling my throat clench from the lump forming there.

Harry stands swiftly and he wordlessly climbs back over the bar of the balcony. I wait until I hear his feet softly touch down on the grass below before I shut myself in my room for the night and throw the bed covers over my head.