XXIII

"I'd love to change the world

But I don't know what to do

So I'll leave it up to you"

"I'd Love To Change The World" -Jetta

The sun peered through the roof of the pit, but Carson didn't stop there to talk to Harper. They were headed in a direction Harper had never gone before, and they had long bypassed the gym. It was not, apparently, a safe enough topic to discuss anywhere. Harper began to think they were going to climb up an old, abandoned building like her and Eliza always did when they needed to talk, or maybe even go to Carson's apartment to talk. They just kept going, until they were outdoors. Loud noises filled Harper's ears, trucks delivering food and clothing, among other things, and some trucks were being loaded up and shipped out to other factions. They worked together like a perfect set of gears, each one needed every other faction to survive, and Harper had to wonder what they were going to do if they took out Abnegation. The world would become colder, crueller, darker.

They walked towards the fence, and Carson touched it with her gloved hands. She peered out through to the other side, the emptiness that it was. Vast, nothingness. Her eyes were filled with so much, her head was filled with twice as much as her eyes. She had been holding so much in for a short while, but the Candor inside of her was desperate to see where people stood. If she was going to train Harper, she had to know that she was on the right side. There were whispers in the air, and Carson had been noticing things that could not be overlooked, so she had begun digging.

"Things are going to change soon," Carson began. "The factions are on the brink, the breaking point."

Harper already knew, but could she guarantee her safety if she told Carson? She stayed silent and waited for Carson to say more.

"We are all going to have to choose sides, what is wrong and what is right." Carson had seen a rise in suspicious deaths, and when she discovered Harper's father had died of what appeared to be allergies, she knew that Harper was closer to the situation than she was aware. "Before I take you on, I need to lay everything out, I need to know where you stand. And if you disagree with me, I understand, but I won't take you on."

"I understand." Harper didn't know what side Carson was on, but she hoped that it was the right one.

Carson placed her hand on Harper's shoulder and tightened her grip, "Have you heard of the term Divergent?"

Harper let out a breath; Carson didn't know everything, but it appeared that she knew more about the Divergent side of things, and perhaps could explain to Harper what it all meant. And Harper could then put it together with the potential slaughter of Abnegation, and she could figure it all out before it happened. "Recently, I've heard it mentioned a few times."

A cloud covered the sun briefly, and it was immediately colder; it signalled that fall was on its way, and the days were going to become shorter, colder, food would be less extravagant as it became harder for Amity to produce for the factions. Abnegation would still give extra food to the Factionless, and Erudite would still grimace at the idea of giving away what was rightfully belonging to people who fit into the factions.

"Well, it scares leaders of the factions. They love to control us, they love to make sure we fit into one category, separated from others who might inspire ideas of a better way of life. There has been a skyrocket of suspicious deaths, your father's was the one that got me to search. I think they are killing off Divergents' to keep everything running smoothly." She shook her head. "I'm not a fool, I can pinpoint a Divergent quite easily after all this time training."

"So what you're asking me, is will I reveal the Divergent people I spot through training, or will I keep their secret and protect them?" Harper asked.

"That's exactly what I am asking."

"I'm already keeping one Divergent's secret safe, with the promise to protect them regardless of the cost on my end," Harper admitted. "I do not agree with slaughtering people for thinking differently than the rest of us."

"Then I chose right with you."

"There is something else you should know." Harper cleared her throat nervously. "I think Jeanine is plotting something, she wants Erudite to be the governing faction. Abnegation might be in trouble."

"Abnegation?" She widened her eyes. "Hmm... Interesting."

"I'm closer to the situation than you might think, and I can't explain how, but Jeanine believes I am on her side," Harper told her. "I need to stay inside that circle, I need her believe otherwise she may very well kill me like she did my father. Carson, anything I do that appears to be coming from the other side, it is all to fool them."

"I'm going to need a little more information than that."

"I can't..." Harper couldn't tell her about Eric. "Not right now."

Carson sighed sharply. "Fine, but I'll get it out of you."

"Just trust me?"

Carson held her breath, and then slowly released it through her pierced nostrils. "Trust is a hard thing to come by these days."

"Do I have yours?"

"Yes."

There was a moment between them, one that told both of them that there was a strong bond between them. Harper had been enduring a lot of that lately, on a variety of different levels, with a few different people. The one that felt the strongest was this one in particular, because she was finally able to tell someone about the dangers that always seemed close to closing in on Harper. Having someone to share that with, and someone who knew more ins and outs about how the world here worked, it lifted a heavy weight off of Harper's shoulders. The other two bonds Harper had shared was with Eliza, as friends, and with Eric, as something more. She knew the bond between her and Eric was both good for her and bad for her, but she couldn't prevent herself from living a little.

In a world where she might be killed for her information and alliance, it felt good knowing Eric wanted to keep her safe, to protect her. Even though he was a loose cannon, had a temper, and could flip the switch the minute he caught on to her, she had a feeling that she had already gotten so far under his skin, that she was safe from him. And he had ensured her safety from Jeanine.

Carson and Harper took off to the shooting rage, something Harper needed to work on more than her fighting. Harper smirked when she mentioned that, and swiftly added, "Scared I'll beat you again?"

"Ooh," Carson said in a laugh. "Bold words, Harper, is that a shot at my pride?"

"You tell me." Harper snickered, her shoulder loose, her hands swaying slightly at her side as she moved. She felt relaxed, and was more than happy with that feeling, as it was a rare commodity. If she had been training with someone like Xander, she would have felt a lot more self conscious, though she was unsure why. He had been nice the few times that they had interacted, but she didn't know him very well, and felt he would have a very stern way of teaching. Carson, on the other hand, was firm but she knew when to crack a joke, and when she had been bested.

"Alright, let's go." Carson opened the gym doors and gestured for Harper to enter first.

There were a few other people in there, no one that Harper recognized, but that didn't bother her. She had been knocked out in a few hits by Eric in front of everyone that knew her, she wasn't afraid to fight in front of people. Carson dipped her feet in the small trays of chalk, so that her feet wouldn't sweat and cause her to slip. Harper kicked her boots and socks off and did the same, neither of them bothered to wrap their hands. Harper started to see this as more of a reality, what fighting would be like if she had to face it in the real world. With her line of work, it was unlikely, but with the future that she saw ahead of her, she would, without a doubt. It was in that second, before Carson even threw her first punch, that Harper discovered she would have to be able to defeat Eric in a fight. That cast a heavy shadow over her, and she instantly became vulnerable to Carson.

Carson was hardly any taller than Harper, but she had many more years of experience. She threw her left arm in a jab, and the right in an uppercut. Harper blocked both of them with the back of her forearms, and ducked to the side. She brought a punch to Carson's side, but Carson stepped to the side and her reach didn't make it. Carson used Harper's stumble as an advantage, and grabbed the back of her shoulders, bringing her body down. Harper saw Carson's knee coming up to her face and lunged forward, wrapping her arms around Carson's waist and bringing her to the ground before her knee could break her nose. Carson pounded her fists into Harper's side and rolled her over so that she was on top. Harper blocked her face with her arms as Carson began to aim for her face. When there was a moment of a break, she grabbed Carson's arm and sat herself up, twisting her arm into a painful position.

Carson refused to tap out this time, and even though her arm was about to be pulled out of the socket, she had been through this before many times. Harper didn't have a tight enough grip on Carson's arm, from still being half underneath Carson, and so the older woman was able to bring her head forward and smash her forehead against Harper's nose. Harper groaned and tears formed in her eyes from the shocking pain in her nose. Blood spilled against the mat and she could taste it in her lips as it dribbled down. She had released Carson's arm at the initial shock of the blow, and Carson pushed her back against the mat, and before she brought her arm back to end it, Harper tapped out.

Carson laughed wickedly, but quietly, then she got off Harper and offered a hand. Harper took it, and when she was standing, she wiped the blood from her face and grimaced. Carson quickly grabbed a small towel and tossed it to the young woman. Pressing it to her bloodied and throbbing nose, Harper realized that she might have broken it, but at least she still had all of her teeth. 

"Don't tap out." Harper heard Eric say, and she shot a glance over in his direction. Suddenly it felt as though they were back in initiation, and she was worried about him being around all the time, and yet craved it. It was obvious that everyone filtered in and out of that gym freely after initiation was complete, so she wasn't entirely surprised to see him there. But she hadn't wanted him to see her lose a fight.

She removed the blood-soaked towel from her face. "I didn't want to be out for eight hours again, losing a day of training."

Eric narrowed his eyes at her reference to him defeating her, weeks ago now. "You can't tap out in real life."

Carson rolled her eyes. "Give it a rest, Eric. I'm training her, and I'm not going to knock her senseless if I win a fight. I actually want her to remember what I've taught her."

"Maybe I should train her." His words rung in Harper's ears, she remembered how Jeanine had expected Harper to train with him, not Carson. Did they not trust Carson? Were they on to her? Harper needed someone solid like Carson to keep her on track, and she didn't want to train with Eric anymore. As much as she loved his hands on her, she could have them on her in a different way. One that didn't end up with her unconscious for an entire day.

"I respect that you're the leader of this faction, and you want things done your way. But Harper came to me." Carson seemed defensive; in reality, she didn't trust Eric and wanted Harper to stay safe.

"You don't need to talk about her as if she isn't here." He looked up at Harper. "What do you say?"

Harper wondered if her answer would determine more than she imagined. Was this an ultimatum? If she chose Carson, would she lose Eric in all forms? She assumed not, but Eric was impossible to read. She told herself that if Eric cut her off because she chose Carson, she was better of without him. "Sorry, Eric."

He nodded, understanding, but he still felt it sting slightly. "I'll leave you to it then."

Just as he was leaving, Carson muttered under her breath, "Asshole."

Harper felt like she was already being ripped down a fork on a road she hadn't been on for very long at all. Eric on one end, Carson on the other.