XXXIII

"You only know what I want you to

I know everything you don't want me to

Your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine

You think your dreams are the same as mine"

"Poison and Wine" - The Civil Wars

"It's disgusting."

"Mhm."

"There has got to be a way to stop it, a cure..."

"Why do you think it is an illness?"

"It's not just an illness, Eliza, it's a plague. They threaten the factions."

"There was a time before the factions."

"And where are those people now?"

"Dead."

"We had to evolve, away from that way of thinking."

"Yeah."

Klaus grabbed Eliza's wrist tightly, enough that small bruises were going to form. She winced, tried to pull away but he didn't allow her to break from his strong grasp. She gave up fighting as he shifted closer, whispered in her ear that she better keep those revolutionary thoughts out of her head and off of her pretty lips. She nodded submissively and he finally let her go. He chuckled at her passiveness, and stood up from the bed, walking across the room and stretching his arms over his head. Eliza covered her body and knew that she needed to get out, get away from Klaus, but she felt so detached from everyone that she had no one to help her. She couldn't busy Harper with such trivial things when she had a war to stop. And so she stayed with Klaus, either out of fear that he'd kill her if she left, or because she thought she had no where else to go.

***

Harper was in her apartment, and had not heard from Carson in a few days. In that time, she had spent a lot of it thinking about what the woman had told her. Going to talk to Eric was a risk, she knew, but it had to be put on the table. Jeanine had risked showing Harper what she was up to, surely she had informed Eric that she was going to tell her. Though Jeanine still didn't know about Eric and Harper's relationship, Jeanine and Eric themselves had a work relationship that consisted of a lot of agreements and discussion of what was going on in the factions, and who was trustworthy. She heard a knock on her door, and Harper looked up at it, wishing she had just hallucinated such things. She wanted to be alone, but the knock came again.

"It's open!" she called.

To her surprise, it was Eric. He never came to her apartment, and she wondered if this was a bad thing. Smiling at him, though it was a smile he knew was not real at this point, Harper dropped her eyes. She was sitting at her table, and had her head rested upon her hand. 

Eric closed the door behind him and crossed the small gap between them, pulled out a chair and flipped it around. He sat with his legs around the back of the chair, and his strong arms rested on the back of it. Focusing in on Harper, the woman he was allowed to love but not allowed to tell her, he was upset that he already knew what was bothering her.

"I need you to be honest with me," he said, his tone dark.

Harper didn't need this today, all she wanted was one day off from all of this. But it was too close for luxuries like that now. If she wanted out of all this mess, she could leave, and that was her only option aside from sticking to her gut feeling. She let her eyes bore into Eric's, trying to see if he was going to be a nice person or a total asshole today. "Okay."

"I know Jeanine informed you on a great many things the other day, and since then I haven't seen or heard from you," he started. "Now I need to know if you're starting to waver, or if you're with us."

"And if I'm wavering?"

Eric tensed, it was visible in his jaw as it appeared as though it was locked. He shifted slightly in his seat, and then he took a deep breath. "As leader of Dauntless I would ask you to step back from the situation."

"And as a partner?" Harper's voice was nearly silent.

Eric realized how tough of a situation Harper was in, and wanted her to get over it fast, because things were being set in motion and he couldn't put all his attention towards her. However, he walked over to her, swinging his leg over his chair casually. Crouching in front of her, he put his hand on her soft cheek, looked into her green eyes. He wanted to be soft, to be nice to her, but he couldn't falter here. "Stepping back is still my answer."

She sighed, moving her head back so that he was no longer touching her. "The serum, everyone is getting it?"

"Everyone who... isn't already on board." He said it carefully, as if asking her if she was on board. He wanted her to be, he didn't want to have to stop her from doing something that would sabotage everything he had worked so hard for. "Look, Harper, I know you're being pulled in all directions, but you need to hear my side of it."

"Alright." She wasn't ready for this, but she had no choice but to hear him out.

Eric took a deep breath, his hand now on Harper's thigh. She held her breath.

"Human nature always takes us one step backwards, what Jeanine and I have been working on is stamping out the desire to have all the factions combined, which is what Divergents' are. They are a threat to the system that has been so carefully constructed, this way of the world is the best chance we have for efficiency. Abnegation is a threat because of their Divergent population, and because of their way of life and how it gets in the way of order. They are an outlier, the factions cannot be cohesive with them, not all of them."

The way Eric spoke, it wasn't as if he was trying to convince himself as he said it. He was already convinced that this was the right thing, he had not a single doubt in his mind that it might be unethical to slaughter an entire faction. Prejudice and fear of Divergents' drove this madness, and Harper realized that there was no way she could convince Eric otherwise. She felt her heart break into two, one half that wanted to slap him across his smug face, and the other than wanted to love him but she knew that she couldn't anymore. She couldn't stop that she loved him, but she was disgusted by him and the things he had been lead to believe.

To keep herself alive, she had to pretend that she saw it his way. So she began to slowly nod her head, fighting back the tears that wanted to fall. Aware that she had showed that she was not okay with everything Eric had said to her, she couldn't simply pretend that she understood now. It would have to be slow, gradual, and believable above all else. Pressing her lips tight together, she took a shuddery breath and stopped nodding.

"I really want to see it the way you do," she explained. "I've been pulled in multiple directions for a long time now, but I want to stand by you. I want to see you rise higher than you've ever been, and as the leader of Dauntless, I will follow you. You just need to help me understand, and Eric..."

He seemed elated. "Yes?"

"You have to keep me safe." She had to solidify her safety first, and then she would figure out how to protect the rest of them. Carson, Tobias, Eliza, Mina... everyone she cared about. She decided to make amends with Carson sooner rather than later, and to get everyone caught up, but she also knew that eyes would be on her, and she would have to take extreme cautions in order to keep herself and others safe.

Eric smiled, it was half smug, half considerate. He moved up from the crouched position he had and kissed Harper, and whether it was to tell if she was disgusted by him or still in love with him, she didn't know. Either way, she felt her heart beat speed up as it always did, and everything else in the world melted away like wax. How could he still make her swoon like this with only the touch of his hand or the kiss of the lips. She brought her hand to the back of his neck and brought him closer. She wrapped her legs around his hips and Eric stood up, his hands on her ass to hold her up now. He took a few steps and walked around the table, bumping the chair and it skittered across the ground loudly. Neither of them paid any mind to it, as Eric pressed Harper against the wall of her apartment.

Harper moaned as Eric sucked her neck, leaving a dark purple mark behind, and then trailing kisses down between her breasts. He lifted her higher around his hips and used his hands to pull her shirt over her head. His tongue trailed between her breasts and he massaged her breasts. The feel of his skin on hers made her whimper, and she began to roll her hips to show him that she wanted him. Right there, no bullshit. She knew that this would not make things easier, it would not make walking away from him simple, and would complicate things so much more. But if she had this moment with him, perhaps she could leave knowing they had ended on good terms. She wasn't leaving, not now, but she had to before it all happened.

More and more clothing seemed to disappear, and Harper had just finished kicking off her pants before Eric brought her up around his waist again. This time, she felt his member deep inside of her as she wrapped her legs tightly around his body. With her back against the wall again, and Eric on the other side, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled herself forward so that her breasts were at eye level for his viewing pleasure. He thrust his hips nice and slow, always staying inside of her but teasing her with his tauntingly lethargic thrusts. With each one Harper moaned, and she brought her head forward so it was against Eric's, and she shut her eyes to focus on nothing but the pleasure she was receiving.

It enveloped her and Harper gasped, taking in that breath of life as the pleasure consumed her, rippling through her muscles and bones, veins and arteries. It tingled down into the tips of her fingers and her toes, making them curl in ecstasy. She brought her head forward and rested in upon Eric's large shoulders, sweat dripping from her brow, her body tense as she came down from her high just as Eric was reaching his. The room was silent aside from their panting, and when Eric gained the strength to do so, he carried her to the bedroom and lied her on the bed, flopping down with her and kissing her collarbone. He felt as though everything had worked out in the best possible way. He believed that Harper understood him, and what he stood for, that she still loved him and that she would stand by him until the end of this.

As the high of the pleasure came down, Harper rolled onto her side, looking at Eric. His chest rose and fell, his muscles glistening with sweat. If only this was the only way she could be with Eric, things working out and nothing standing between them. But there was a wall between them that Eric didn't see any longer, only it was growing taller and taller from Harper's side of things. Eric was going to keep her safe, as long as she was a good enough actress. But she was still too tethered to Eric, just as Carson had said, and it was already too hard for her to tear her eyes off of him, let alone leave him forever.