The Beagle Birthday Massacre

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"Compass, CB radio, sunscreen"

"Hot dog costumes"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"You know, in case we get lost at sea, and one of us, probably Louie, goes mad with hunger, we'll put these on. Louie hates hot dogs so he probably won't eat us"

"Are you saying that Louie would rather eat us than hot dogs?"

"I do hate hot dogs"

"I think we'll be good"

"So what do you need me to do?"

"I think that's everything. Louie's got the canteens. Dewey's got the paddles"

"Nautical leap. YAR. Nailed it"

"Relax, we've taken this old kayak out dozens of times. We got this"

"Maybe I can be in charge of the map?"

"Oh Huey always handles the map, thanks to ol' Captain Lost, here"

"Hey! That's "Captain Lost, sir" to you"

"Captain Lost. Captain Lost" Everyone laughs.

"I don't know why we're laughing"

"I wish gosalyn was here, where is she by the way?" Dewy asked.

"I think she had practice of some sort" Huey says.

"What kind of practice?" Louie asked.

Any Oh this whole crazy story where we all went kayaking, and Louie..."

"...Got lost?"

"Yeah, sort of had to be there I guess"

"But now you will be. Onward to adventure!"
Everyone gets in the boat at once.

"Pardon me"

"Why aren't we "to adventuring?" Webby falls out.

"I guess we never had to stick four people on this thing"

"Here Webby, you can take my spot"

"No, no, it's okay"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'll just go when you guys get back"

"Unless Captain Lost gets us lost again"

"Captain Lost... Captain Lost..."

"It's just so fun to chant"

A bottle with a note gets washed up on shore.

"Lost Sailor caught in a deadly whirl pool. No hope of survival. Help!?" Looks like Webby's going out to sea, after all"

opening theme plays.

"I'll save you, noble sailor" Webby sees another note in a bottle.

"Shipwrecked raider crew surrounded by dolphins", aww, "who are tearing us limb from limb?" Oh no. I'll- huh?"

Webby starts following a trail of notes in bottles. The trail leads to a teenage girl writing notes.

"I'm here to save either a sailor, group of sailors, or a shark from a sea serpent, pirate invasion, and/or scurvy"

"What? No, no those are from me. I'm just messing around, you know like a game?"

"Fun. Let me try"

"Please recycle this bottle." Okay, I don't think you get this game"

"Hi, I'm Webby"

"Mmm, hey"

"Is that a vintage Sumerian talisman?"

"Dunno. Found it at a thrift shop"

"You got some pink in your hair. I think someone pranked you"

"It's supposed to look this way"

"Oh, I like your shirt"

"Not my shirt. Actually got it off the lead singer of the Featherweights after a gig in Paris"

"You've been to Paris?"

You haven't? Oh, you gotta go. It's like here, only fancier"

"I've always wanted to go to Paris, crawl around in the catacombs, maybe touch a skull. ha ha"

Webby accidentally knock the last bottle into the water.

"Well, game over"

"I got it"

Webby flips from rock to rock, kicks the bottle out of the water, and back flips back onto the dock.

"Here"

"That was, actually, pretty cool. Are you, like, in the circus?"

"Circus acrobats keep elephant hairs in their pockets for good luck. I don't know why I just told you that, or why I'm still talking, or why I pointed out the fact that I'm still talking. or..."

"Woah, easy, Flippy"

"Webby"

"Lena. Thanks for the bottle. Hey, do you want to come with me to this blowout on the edge of town? Should be cool"

"I've never actually seen a proper explosion"

"It's another name for party"

"Yep, totally knew that. Could we just wait for my friends so I can let them know where I'm going?"

"But the party could be over by then. C'mon, it'll be an adventure"

Webby and Lena arrive at the entrance to a junkyard by nightfall.

"This is a party?"

"All the best parties are at burnt out junkyards. So, I'm gonna need you to do your whole pom-pom parkour thing up the wall, drop down, and open the door for me? Cool?"

"Cool! Wait, aren't you invited?"

"It's not an adventure if you're invited"

Webby bounces up the wall and down the other side to unlock the gate.

"Got it"

"Nice"

Lena extends fist, Webby excitedly extends her fist for a fist bump.

"You want to blow it up, don't you?"

Webby nods, Lena explodes her fist, Webby explodes more enthusiastically.

Most of the party goers are in elaborate costumes.

"Wow, my first costume party"

"Oh this isn't a costume party"

"Huh. What are the Beagle Boys doing here?"

"Everyone here is a Beagle. It's a Beagle Boy party" Ma Beagle emerges from her trailer.

"MY BOYS!! Look around, you can see the future of Duckberg is ours. It warms my heart to see all of you here together as a family. The original classics, the Glam Yankees, the Deja Vus, the Sixth Avenue Meanies, the Sixth Avenue Friendlies, the Long Board Taquitos, the Deja Vus, the Tumblebums, the Ugly Failures, and the Deja Vus. What do you all have in common? You love your Ma!"

Everyone sings happy birthday to Ma Beagle.

"This is Ma Beagle's birthday party? We got to get out of here" Webby runs into Bouncer.

"You're the brat that got Ma busted"

"Say what now?"

"Nu uh, No way, Ma said we're not supposed to mess with them, remember?"

"That's the brat that got me busted. Bring her here"

"every single time"

"Huh?" Lena hits Ma Beagle with the cake.

"Run Webby!"

"Thanks for the hospitality. Sorry we have to go"

"Get 'em!"

Webby and Lena run into an alley but then she bumps into someone.

"AH!"

She fell down and the person she bumped into was gosalyn, still in hockey wear, she dropped her stick.

"Oh hey webby" gosalyn waved.

"Gosalyn? What are you doing here?"

"I finished practice and was gonna walk home but then I bumped into you"

Then she turns to see Lena, "oh hi, who's your new friend webby"

"You know this girl?" Lena asked.

"Yeah, I'm gosalyn, webby's best friend, I like your hair"

"Thanks, you play hockey?"

"Oh I play all kinds of sports"

"Gosalyn this Is Lena"

Then a Truck appears at the mouth of the alley.

"We're gonna die!"

"Webby what is going on?" Gosalyn asked.

"We crashed a beagle boy's birthday party and now they are chasing us"

"Uh no" Truck gets stuck in the middle of the alley.

"Oh, c'mon c'mon"

Big Time backs up the truck. Webby bounces up the fire escape and lowers it for Lena.

"Hurry!"

"But what about your friend down there"

"She'll be fine, she can take care of herself"

Then gosalyn uses her stick to each for the ladder and she helps herself up.

"See"

"Well Real smooth moves, back there"

"Hah, thanks. Wait, was that sarcastic?"

"Nope"

"Hah, thanks. Wait, was that?"

"What does Ma Beagle have against you anyway?"

"Oh nothing. She tried to kidnap me so I ensnared her in an improvised ball pit man trap"

"Alright. Where to now?"

"That's my house. If we can make it there, we'll be safe"

"Well my dad is waiting there to pick me up, if I'm not there he's gonna expect something's up and he gets worried and will find me"

"Woah. Your dad sounds like one of those overprotective dads"

"He sometimes is"

"So You fight mob bosses and you live in a mansion? You're kind of something else, aren't you, Pink?"

"We're the long board Taquitos"

"Wow, you guys are so extreme. What are you going to do? Ollie all the way over here?"

"Shrug the nard, brah"

Taquitos engage flight suits as they jump the building.

"Maybe we shouldn't keep taunting them"

"Taquitos go be so amped"

Lena turns on an air vent causing the Taquitos to blow away.

"Foiled to the max!"

"In here"

The Ugly Failures are waiting at the entrance.
Listening to the radio.

"This is Ma Beagle with a very special birthday request. Get those brats for me before they make it to McDuck Manor. That would be the best gift a mother could get"

"This is our shot, guys. Maybe the Ugly Failures might actually become the Ugly Winners"

"Couldn't we just be the Winners?"

"Now now, let's not get crazy"

"They're blocking the exit. Plan A: we survey the area, find another exit..."

"Plan B: who needs a plan?"

"No, wait"

"I like her, she's funny"

"Oi mates, fancy seeing you lot in this 'ere 'arehouse"

"Um, who are you?"

"'oo are we? we're the Beagle Birds. Ma's adopted daughters from across the pond, like"

"Did Ma ever mention a pond to you?"

"I don't think she can swim"

"I don't even think she showers. I smell a rat"

"We're from England, gov. just a little cockney inn't it? Eh, meat pies, bangers'n mash..."

"Britty, darling, oh there you are. Thank you gents, my sister and I will be certain to tell our dearest Mama Beagle of the gracious hospitality we received here in the colonies. This is Britania, and I am, um, Engla..beth"

"She talks fancy. I trust her"

"Well, they are family. I mean, Why would they lie?"

"Marvelous, well it was wonderful to meet you"

"I'm taking this"

"Well, uh..."

"A keepsake of our serendipitous meeting. Stupendous. Ta-ta"

"Wait, was that them?"

Webby gosalyn and Lena take a detour into a playground.

"You totally clowned those jokers, and you got a radio so we can track them. Where did you get that tea and crumpets talk?"

"I live with my British granny in a Scottish mansion. I didn't hear an American accent until I was like, seven"

"With my brains, and your weirdly specific super brains, and your..." she motion over to gosalyn.

"Strength"

"Right, we could run this town. Inn't that right, Englabeth?"

"Most Indubitably, Britania. Hah, wait til the guys hear my new nickname"

"You mean those three nerds who ditched you on the beach? Yeah, they sound real fun"

"What?"

"Oh, no, no there were only three spots on the boat, so I let them go. we're cool like that. It's a family thing"

0Family, huh. Not really my thing"

"But family is the best. You go on adventures together, make inside jokes. Like there was this hilarious joke where they went out boating and Louie got them lost, and since then they call him "Captain Lost" uh yeah I don't get it either. Sometimes it seems like they have their own secret language, it's just, i don't know, they have so much history together"

"But not us, we're so close we're practically sisters, right webby" gosalyn says as she pulls her closer.

"Yeah..right" webby pull away.

"Well now, we have history"

A bush rustles behind them. Huey, Dewey, and Louie emerge from it. Lena pounces on Louie.

"Lena, no. These are the guys I was talking about"

"Oh"

"Lena, this is Huey, Dewey, and Louie"

"Webby, we've been looking for you everywhere. Oh hey gosalyn"

"Hey dewy"

"Cute, the names and the color coded outfits, was that like your thing, you're all exactly the same?"

"Hah, no way, we're all unique snowflakes. Well this usually never happens. This is really weird, okay, stop talking. Antidisestablishmentarism. Seriously? Gahh"

"So cute" gosalyn laughs.

"Seriously, Webby. where have you been? We've been worried out of our minds"

"Well uh Lena and I.."

"Right, you were so worried that you left her on a beach and didn't show up for four hours?"

"We got lost"

"Thanks to old Captain Lost"

"Why would you put me in charge of the map again? This is not on me"

"Captain Lost, Captain Lost-"

"Alright enough, we got bigger problems right now" gosalyn stops them.

"Yeah, they seem like a real tight crew"

"Guys, easy. We were just having a little adventure"

whistling coming from somewhere.

"What was that?"

Then gosalyn makes a worried look, "I know what that is"

"Shh..."

"Ma to the Tumblebums, the rugrats have been spotted in your turf. Make 'em sorry they crashed our party"

"The Tumblebums? they sound adorable Never mind"

"I hate clowns"

"No way, you check them"

"You check them, you go right now"

"Why are the Beagle Boys even after you?"

"Because we shoved their mother's face in a cake. Try to keep up, Louie"

"Hah, we've been kind of having a girls' night"

"We need a plan"

"Okay, we've got a compass, a half-empty canteen, three old banana peels. Wait, three? Did you eat my banana?"

"Yeah, it's called stress eating, okay? And it's a stressful situation" the boys start fighting.

"I need my potassium"

"Let's make a break for it"

"What?"

"Let the boy band be bait while we sneak out"

"No way I don't abandon friends" gosalyn says.

"I can't believe I'm saying this but gosalyn is right, I can't leave them"

"Oh you mean like they left you alone on that beach? C'mon, don't you trust me?"

"Wait right here"

"Whatever"

"Stop, think. Okay, How do you get rid of an evil clown?"

The group makes the Tumblebums slip on banana peels.

"Woohoo!"

"Lena, did you see that? Lena?"

Then dewy realized gosalyn was gone too.

"Where did gosalyn go?"

Webby notices Lena left. They return to the boat. Huey spies Webby moping by the waterline.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, it's dumb. I just I thought Lena and I could maybe have what you three have"

"I promise we'll never leave you off the boat again. We'll leave Louie, he's bad at most things.
Another bottle floats up before them"

"Webby, I've been kidnapped by the Beagle Boys." Wait, is this another prank? "This is not a prank, Lena. Also your best friend got kidnapped too" She didn't ditch me, she was captured. Oh wait, she was captured"

"I'm on my way, boys, I may not have got to eat my birthday cake, but at least I'll get a little slice of revenge"

"We have to help her"

"We should go get Uncle Scrooge, mr mallard and Beakley, and a couple of tanks"

"There's no time. Look, me and Lena fought a truck, and beat the Taquitos and were British together"

"I don't know what any of that means"

"Now you know how I feel half the time. You wouldn't leave each other behind and I am not leaving her. Now c'mon, and this time I'm getting a spot on the stupid boat"

Bottles glass bottles are stuck on all of his fingers.

"Guys, I kind of got a situation here. A little help?
Benevolent"

Bouncer was holding gosalyn by her shirt, she was trying to punch him.

"Rough day, huh? Well here," he offers water.

"courtesy of the Sixth Avenue Friendlies"

Bad Attitude throws water away, "Courtesy of the Sixth Avenue Meanies"

"Put me down or you will be sorry" gosalyn syas.

"Oh looks like we got a trouble one here" bouncer throws her to the Sixth Avenue Friendlies.

"Hello little darling"

"Touch me and your dead"

"But I wound never harm such a sweet cute little beautiful girl such as yourself" he kisses her hand.

"Ew"

"Psst, over here"

"Webby, you came"

"I told you she won't let us down"

"I wouldn't ditch you. We're the Beagle Birds"

Webby accidentally turns on the amphitheater lights and gets captured.

" You two ladies have given us a lot of trouble, tonight. but it will be worth it when Ma sees her birthday gift"

"And we got her early Mother's Day shopping out of the way, too"

"Big Time to Ma, Big Time to Ma, what's your 10-20?"

"Seriously, your rescue plan was to throw yourself blindly into the middle of the entire Beagle family?"

"How is that any different than what you did at the junkyard?"

"I wasn't tied up at the junkyard"

"Now they have what we have"

"Now I remember why I avoid family. All they do is..."

"Fight?"

"Okay, Ma should be here any second. When Botched Job gives the signal, we all leap out and yell "surprise". Any questions?"

"HEY" someone yelled over in the crowd, they all turned around to see drake glaring at them, his arms were crossed.

"Huh" everyone gasped.

"DAD!" Gosalyn was relieved to see him.

"Listen this is a great party and all-well actually that would be lie, this party is the worst, you guys are villains can't you do better"

His insults angered them as they began to come in closer on him but he holds his hands out in defense.

"But anyway, I hate to interrupt the celebration and I love a good birthday party as much as the next guy but I believe you all have something that doesn't belongs to you, if you would just please hand my daughter and webby and the kids back to me, we'll just be on our way and you don't have to see us again-"

"Oh no, she needs to be taught a lesson for not entering into our territory" bouncer says as he jabs his chest.

"Hey hey hey, she didn't do anything, now give her back or else"

But his threat just made everyone laugh.

"Ya hear that boys, we got a party crashed, ya know what to do with party crashes" big time says.

And immediately drake finds himself surrounded by beagle boys.

"Wait, wait wait, hold up a second" everyone immediately pauses and drake counts them.

"Ok 1235-, huh so there's a whole a lot of you and only one of me"

The rest of the boys smiled sinisterly but drake just smiles.

"Wow I have to say you got the advantage of me But I'm a actor,  and A DAD"

he jumps and kicks big time in the face.

"Get him"big time shouts.

Burger tried to hit him with a club but drake ducks and kicks him in the face.

He then punches one of the gam yankes with the club, punches the six avenues meanies.

the Long Board Taquitos came charging at him on their skateboards, he takes a club and knocks them off their skateboard causing them to fall on the Sixth Avenue Meanies.

He ducks when the classics ran towards him and they ended up hitting their heads.

The tumblers swing a fist at him, he jumps and pokes them in the eye, they feel back against the Sixth Avenue Friendlies.

the Ugly Failures ran at him but he puts his leg out causing them to trip into the the Deja Vus.

"That's your dad" Lena says to gosalyn.

"I know he's great right"

While drake fights the Beagle Boys , Webby climbs up the pillar, bites her ropes off, frees Lena, and covers Bouncer's eyes.

"Let go" Lena trips him, "Woah!" Ma finally arrives.

Drake finished them off as ma beagle arrives and he rushes to gosalyn as she ran to him and they hugged.

"Come on kids let's go"

"Hey, where are the brats? For the love of, that's it. None of you get birthdays this year"

"Awwww"

"That was awesome, best up the Beagle Boys fight" dewy says

"Well I was seriously when I warned them not to go near gosalyn again"

"I'm really glad you came dad"

"Well I got worried when you did come home"

"Woah, you shimmied up that pillar like a pro"

"No big. (cockney accent) That's wot family's about, eh, Englabeth?"

"Oh, I knew you'd come through in a spot, Britania"

Then when drake saw lean, he pulls gosalyn closer as he was suspicious.

"Who's this?"

"Don't worry dad, she's a friend of webby's"

He looks at her and Lena looked nervous, "well we should get going now"

"A little penny come quick to get you ute to be"

"Crumpet nonsense. You kind of had to be there"

Lena bids farewell and returns to the amphitheater.

"Summon spirit from the dark, Show thyself before this arc. Free thy dread soul from its prison, Once more shall be re-risen" Lena's shadow changes and sprouts a face.

"Aunt Magica? I'm in" The shadow grins evilly

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