"And dreams are followed by nightmares."

*

Anger was an emotion I was programmed to react to; never feel. It was a response to war, to conflict. How the Replicas were able to intimidate, instill fear in the enemy.

Without wars to fight, that anger, that programming remained dormant within our cores. Sleeping beasts, roars lingered within dreams. That was what we were.

But Rory unlocked those parts within me. Freed me. Let me breathe and feel the relief of humanity. Yet, not once, not once did he disclose the pain. The suffering.

The emotions Mary pushed out of me with just one look.

With one hand, I forced the warehouse doors open as I stepped out into the pouring rain. Water slid down my face as I looked at the empty road ahead, at the minimal streetlights. Rory had taught me where to stand, where to move, to avoid Bionics security cameras. But I didn't care. I was out in the open. Exposed. I wanted the water to cool my heart, calm my rage.

"Axe!"

I heard Rory scream my name behind me, but I didn't think to turn towards him. I stepped further into the rain. Closer to the road. With a quick swipe at the ground, I ripped blades of already dying grass into the palm of my hand. And squeezed. Dirt and water slipped between my fingers.

"Axe!" he called again.

But again, I didn't look back. My gaze was focused on my surroundings. My computers scanned the area, the temperature, and the hour of the night. There was a lingering message, flickering near the corner of my vision; must return to sleep, must remain lined with my fellow androids.

Had Mary gone to her computers and sent that message? Was she trying to control me? As I looked down at my hand, at the dirt pressed against my artificial skin, I wondered if she tried to control Javier, too? Were the reactions in the park faked? Were her emotions programmed, too?

"Stop!" Rory's hand reached out to grab me from behind, forcing me to turn and look at him. Lightning struck nearby, shimmering in his eyes. For once, the color wasn't blue, but red. Just like mine.

Rather than ask about the sudden change, I pushed him. "Why!" I shouted as I squeezed my eyes shut. "This isn't fair! Why can't I have what he has?"

Rory stumbled back but didn't remain there. He straightened, came forward, and placed both of his hands on my shoulders. Rain poured on us both as the thunder roared overhead. His eyes flickered—red, then blue, then red again. "Who, Axe?" he asked, searching my face.

I tried to break out of his grip, but there was no use. He was an android, just like me; strong, hard to break, just like I was. I had to lower my head, slump my shoulders, and stare at the puddle of water forming over the edge of our shoes. "Javier..." I whispered.

"Oh, Axe." Rory's thumbs rubbed against my collar bone.

"His life is perfect, Ror," I said, lifting my head.

"No." Rory shook his head. "His life isn't perfect. It's far from perfect."

There was sadness in Rory's red gaze. Had he faked it for me? Created an internal defected glow to relate to me? Rory was exceptionally human. Had the mannerisms, the emotions, the actions perfected... down to the lies he was able to tell.

As I pulled out of his grip, I slipped back. My shoes skidded across the wet dirt. With the rain, puddles splashed up against my pants. Looking down at my suit, sullied with weather, I growled. Irritated. Emotional.

Unable to process information. Retry?

"Lies," I whispered as I looked at my hands. "All of this is a lie. Being free?" I looked at Rory, at his flashing eyes. "That's a lie, isn't it?"

Lightning flashed behind the warehouse, brightening Rory's silhouette against the night. As he stepped forward towards me, I stepped back. His hand stretched out for me to grab. "Axe, why are you feeling this way? I don't understand."

"Of course, you don't!" I shouted. With another step, I was off of the grass and on the road. "How could you? What you did to me, freeing me and releasing me into the wild with the hopes of being human; what did you think would happen? Was I an experiment for you?"

"Axe..."

"Bored Rory needing another android to play with." Angrily, I pointed at him. "You played with my systems, opened up emotional sectors I wasn't supposed to feel! My life was easier when I was in line accepting orders. I am supposed to take orders!"

Rory was speechless. The expression on his face changed, emotionless. He didn't approach me as I yelled at him. He didn't flinch as I pointed, as I slapped my hand against the rain to retreat. And in a way, it was fine; I didn't want him to come any nearer. I wanted to leave. I wanted to run.

Data corrupted. Reboot required.

Turning around, I stepped into the center of the road. For a moment, I listened to the raindrops as they pelted against the asphalt. The sound was different. Alluring. My heart, as impossible as the artificial organ was, had beats that suddenly matched the weather, the terrain. The steady thump thump reverberated under my skin, like sparks. And my chest tightened, burning, even.

"Rory..." I whispered as I looked down at my damaged shoes. Thoughts of Mary crossed my mind. Images from Javier's files, the ones stored within my system, replayed in my head. In high speed, as if someone had pressed fast-forward on the file. I attempted to close my eyes, but it didn't make the memories go away.

In seconds, I watched the videos of Javier fading away from existence. There were moments from his younger years, his twenties. Happy, fleeting moments where Mary brought out emotions in him. But those images shifted, changing. The painful pull surrounding the next batch of videos matched what I felt.

Javier was forever extending his hand with no one to grab onto him. Everyone turned away. Ignored him.

He and I are just alike in so many ways, aren't we?

I pressed my hand to my face as I listened to the thunder overhead. My jaw clenched as my chest tightened once more.

I'm trying to be someone I already am...

"Axe, you need to go inside." Rory's hand landed on my shoulder. I didn't turn around to look at him. A part of me didn't want to. Couldn't do it. "At this point, you'll shut down, Axe. All of your sudden emotions will corrupt your battery and—"

"My battery?" I opened my eyes and stared at the water as it hit the ground. Large drops of rain, small splashes followed. Turning my head, I observed them as they hit my shoe.

"Your battery life will drop," Rory said. "What you're feeling is similar to a human's anxiety attack. It's something they learn to manage over time. Something—"

I had to laugh. Lifting my head, staring up at the dark sky with the clouds absorbing the stars, a low, deep chuckle left me. It pushed through the pain in my chest, broke through the tightness, shattering it as though it were nothing.

Emotions were nothing. If they could harm you, destroy you, what was the purpose for wanting them? To feel human?

"Axe." With a pull, Rory made me turn around. The movement wasn't hard because I willingly followed. But when I faced him, I saw the red in his eyes had brightened. I saw myself in him. Yet, he said, "All of this will pass if you just rest. Return to your line with the other replicas."

"I don't want to return to them," I said. "I refuse. To stand with them means I accept that—"

Rory narrowed his gaze. "A moment ago you said it was easier then. To be like them. You said—"

"I know what I said." Placing one hand on his shoulder, I copied his movements. When he dipped his head, I did the same; appearing as if I were his mirror reflection. "But I don't think you understand what I feel."

I don't understand what I feel.

**

A/N: Small chapter update. Things will go up (or down, depending on how you want to look at it) from here! 

As always, thank you for reading <3