After a breakdown, I usually try to take some time to self-reflect, often by kinda pondering my best and worst qualities at the moment. It's very cheesy and silly, exactly why it works for a 14 year old! We are incredibly annoying and think we understand everything.

Anyway, I realized I'd never really put this on Wattpad, and it works for content, to at least stay active if I can't stay entertaining

Good thing:

I'm,,

Pretty self-aware?

As that first bit might suggest, I never take myself seriously. Nothing I think is impactful will actually matter. I'm not one of those teenagers who has actual problems in life, so I do my best to constantly prevent pretending that

I've been watching a lot of "looking at my old gross anime art from 2009 lolz I sucked" videos because I love to look at improvement, and I've noticed that I don't act exactly like those former versions of artists. Of course, many things are unavoidable, and an oblivious teenager like me can't begin to actually see all the traits in me I should be avoiding, but it's noticeable. It is a different year, but I try really hard to act passive.

I hardly ever make vent art, and when I do, I immediately ridicule it and laugh. It makes me happy to understand how pitifully unimportant my struggles are, because one day, I'll face real pain and act mature. I did used to make quite a bit of vent art, but now they're even funnier! I exist to appear ridiculous so others can find me funny. It's a good purpose. Laughter is awesome.

I don't usually get riled up at people, especially not my parents. Sure, it's happened, but I try my hardest not to let it. If I ever talk about art school, I first laugh about how it's a major in failure and "my dreams are trash" (I'm particularly proud of that one aheh)

I'm trying my best to get to the point where my personality doesn't scream "14" and what matters is that I'm trying.

Bad thing:

Not to be angsty, but it's a little hard to chose my least favorite quality. Be hypocritical and say acting like the sensitive, dim-witted 14 year old I am? Talk about my general laziness for every task I'm given?

How about the way I take my privileges for granted? I've never felt grief, I've never moved, I've never gotten into a fight, I've never had a close relative or friend die, my parents are happily married and at the top of the middle class, my gender is cis, my sexuality is straight, and I live in a snotty white city that I certainly belong in because I'm whiter than Wonderbread.

The thing I get the most emotional about is the fact that I'm upset at all when I'm almost as well-off as you can get, which, as you can imagine, is a vicious cycle. But as I just proved, it doesn't really matter and I should be able to get through it!

I want to end things off on a positive note anyway, I, uh, got a 95 on my English quiz today?