You know it's bad when you start to miss them. Your friends I mean. The ones who said you did something wrong when you didn't. The ones who have taken sides, but none yours. What have you done? Tried to fix things and then have it all turn on you.
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Maybe harsh words were used, but it was never from you. You used soft, kind words that you would often nurse children with. Apparently that was one of many problems.
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It was never about personality, only actions. Actions that helped to tear this friendship apart. Maybe they think they are right. Well of course they think that they are right. Still they replace you, someone who had been there from day one, for someone who you introduced them to. What the irony.
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I hope you have a great life. I hope you find a great spouse and have children and you love them all and they would have good parents. Good people make good parents. You are a good person. I hope you win the lottery. I hope you finally find love, whether it lasts for a minute or for a life time. Just wishing you well.
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You would probably wish me well but you probably wouldn't mean it. Only trying to sound polite. I've gone this before, trying to be the bigger person and making things correct. Of course then it is assumed that I did something wrong. I did not. Blame, then again, is not apart of this controversy. But to be honest, I wish you the best.
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You ask to talk and I think that this is finally it! An apology, but what could I truly expect? I still expected you to stab me in the back. Well not the back because true friends stab you in the front.
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You stabbed me in the back. I fell, bracing myself for what had come. I had been preparing and before I hit the ground, I caught myself. I rose back up and walked away. Why fight a fight that isn't worth fighting anymore?
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Through sobs and heartache I wrote you this. This thing attached to a Christmas gift that was bought before all of this had happened. I tuck it away and tell you not to look unless you are really ready.
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It's probably been 3 years. I receive a message from you. Someone who I haven't talked to since Christmas. You send me a picture of this letter and it looks wet. No words were expressed, but I know that those tears had not been for what I wrote. You sob these tears for realising how much friendship had died because of actions. Actions that had defined you.
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Let us celebrate this friendship. Newly kindled. Newly felt heartache for nostalgia. Not newly felt happiness, but newly felt laughter and joy, for I missed this dear friend. Don't make me feel that heartache again.