[037] bigger than us

                                                        Although Courtney was still feeling pretty pissed before about everything that had taken place, she was willing to simmer down and talk to Suki as the sun set and the mood in the cabin seemed to set with it.

                                                        Suki hadn't really said much since she came back, only talking to Natalie in the name of making amends. Courtney desperately wanted to know what had happened and how she had managed to survive. But she was designated the job of cleaning the tub and so, the questions would have to wait. 

                                                        In the mean time, Suki had been by herself and stuck by the window. Part of it had to do with the fact that she was busy contemplating everything that had happened to her during the past couple of hours. But she was waiting for something, even if she didn't really know what that something was.

                                                      Noticing her, Lottie decided to sit beside her. Suki barely moves at her presence which Lottie immediately takes as her being upset. In reality, Suki was just incredibly zoned out.

                                                     "Hey," Lottie says, ultimately breaking Suki from her concentration.

                                                      Suki nods. "Hey."

                                                     "Suki? I'm really sorry," Lottie remarked.

                                                     "What? Don't be. I made the decision to go out there, not you," Suki shakes her head.

                                                     "But you felt like you had to - because of me. Seeing you like that... it was terrifying. I... I felt you while you were gone. You were growing so weak and I thought you'd...," Lottie thankfully decides to cut herself off before she finishes that sentence. "But It brought you back and that's all I could ever ask for."

                                                     Suki only nods.

                                                     "Did you see anything?" Lottie adds afterwards. She couldn't deny that she was curious. And if she could help Suki in any way, Lottie knew she would.

                                                     Suki shakes her head. "No. I mean, yes. I - I think I almost died out there."

                                                       "What?" Lottie's eyes widened.

                                                        "Yeah. I saw my mom and she said...," Suki trails off, suddenly going silent.

                                                        "What did she say?" Lottie pressed, leaning forward.

                                                        "I... I don't remember. It was all so hazy," Suki shakes her head. Normally, she'd be willing to share any and everything with Lottie. But the conversation between her and her mom felt too personal. And besides, Suki herself felt that she shouldn't tell Lottie for whatever reason.

                                                        Lottie smiles as she holds onto Suki's hand. "Well, the wilderness brought you back. Don't you see how kind It is? It has a purpose for you."

                                                        "But... what if it didn't? What if there was no purpose? Would I end up like Jackie?" Suki questioned.

                                                        "There's no such thing. Everyone had their purpose, even Jackie. Jackie's purpose was to help us survive. Don't you see? Everything has it's purpose," Lottie reasoned. Everything had a reason and a purpose in the cycle called life, or so Lottie figured.

                                                        "Do you think there was a purpose for us to crash here in the first place?" Suki questioned.

                                                        Lottie bit her lower lip. "Honestly, I'm still trying to figure that one out. I don't know for sure. But whatever it is, I'm sure we'll figure it out soon. All I know is that everything that's happening right now, it's a part of something big. Much bigger than us."

                                                        "Do you ever think that maybe... maybe It isn't all good?" Suki asked a moment later.

                                                        "Why would you think that?" Lottie furrowed her brows, genuinely perplexed.

                                                        "Just... curious. What if there's a possibility that It's been lying to us? Using us or something?" Suki asked. At this point, it was all just suspicions of hers - the seed of doubt planted by her own mother. But there could've been something to it.

                                                        "Nothing but good things have been happening so far as long as we listened to It," Lottie answered.

                                                        "Exactly. As long as we listen to it. If we don't...," Suki trails off once again, hoping that Lottie would get the hint. Those who didn't conform to the wilderness' ways or were outwardly against it, ended up being punished in some way or another.

                                                        "Where is all of this coming from?" Lottie questioned.

                                                        Suki sighs, holding her head in her hands. "I don't know. I don't know. I... I'm sorry."

                                                        And with that, Suki gets up and makes her way to the bathroom where Courtney still was. She had basically finished up with her chore, smiling at the sight of Suki who closes the door behind her. Leaning against the door for a moment, Suki's gaze falls upon Courtney before she starts chuckling.

                                                        "Never thought I'd see the day you decided to clean up a bathroom before," Suki remarked.

                                                       "And it'll be the last. The only reason I took it on was so I could keep my hands busy rather than around Mari's neck," Courtney scoffed.

                                                       "Hey, I'm fine. You don't have to stay pissed at her. Let's just move on from it, okay?" Suki says as she now approaches her girlfriend.

                                                      Courtney huffed. "I can't. How can you be so casual and fine after nearly dying? If I hadn't found you -."

                                                     "But you did, and that's all that matters," Suki cuts her off.

                                                     "If you died, I'd lose my mind. I'm serious. I'd lose my mind and go insane. I just can't imagine the world without you," Courtney confessed.

                                                     Suki was the only thing holding Courtney together. Or rather, holding her back from completely giving in to the darkness. If she was gone, there'd be nothing left for Courtney to fight for anymore. She'd be all alone and the only thing Courtney feared in this world was being alone and abandoned.

                                                     "Well, you don't have to. I'm not going anywhere, Court. I'll always be by your side," Suki assures her, holding onto Courtney's hands.

                                                     Courtney holds onto her, her blue eyes practically sparkling in the dim lighting as she looked at Suki. "Swear it."

                                                     "I swear it, Courtney Morrison. I swear that I'm never going to leave you. It's always going to be you and me forever," Suki nods with a small smile. "You believe me, don't you?"

                                                    "'Course I do," Courtney agreed. She just couldn't picture Suki leaving her. Only death could truly keep the two of them apart and it had already failed once at that.

                                                  Suki smiles before she pulls Courtney in for a hug, momentarily taking the girl by surprise. But she quickly hugs her back, a smile creeping onto her lips as she basks in the little warmth coming from Suki in the first place. Pressing a soft kiss to Suki's neck, she moved up to her jaw before finally connecting her lips with Suki's. Suki quickly kisses her back, cupping Courtney's face in her hands.

                                               Courtney presses Suki up against the wall as the kiss between them quickly escalated. With everything that had been going on lately, they hardly got a chance to be alone. Both of them were touch starved, desperate to be close even if it was for a brief moment away from the others. And yet, Suki managed to regain more of her senses long enough to pull away from Courtney.

                                             "What if someone hears us?" Suki whispers, causing Courtney to softly giggle.

                                             "No one's going to hear us as long as you keep quiet, alright?" Courtney ordered.

                                             Suki nods before she leans forward, kissing Courtney once again. It was passionate and intense and hungry, the both of them drowning in their desire towards each other. And now that Suki had seemingly managed to get a new lease on life, she wasn't about to waste any more time.

                                             Misty had noticed Suki disappear into the bathroom earlier and she also knew that Courtney was there. So she pulled away from Crystal, allowing her curiosity to guide her as she wandered to see what exactly was going on. Misty made it to the bathroom door, pressing her ear against the door but she couldn't hear anything. She then decided to open the door just a little, careful not to make too much noise and alert either Courtney or Suki to her presence.

                                             She paused when she finally got a good look of what they were doing, realizing that they were having sex. Although this was an intimate moment - one Misty definitely shouldn't be spying on, she couldn't help herself. Misty continued to watch like the secret pervert that she was right up until it was over, quickly sneaking back with the others so they didn't realize that she had been missing for very long.

                                           As the two girls dressed themselves and tried to fix themselves up so they could look and normal (and not like they had just finished having sex in the bathroom), Courtney immediately noticed something odd.

                                            "You closed the door, right?" Courtney questioned, furrowing her brows as she looked back over at Suki.

                                            "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I did. Why?" Suki nodded.

                                            "Forget about it. Let's go back out there before they actually notice that we're gone," Courtney dismisses, fixing Suki's hair so it didn't look so messy.

                                             Suki left first, followed by Courtney shortly after. She wasn't so sure why Misty was looking at the both of them,, seeming as though she knew something. But Courtney just chalked it up to Misty being Misty. She wasn't exactly one to act normal. Courtney did a better job at hiding it, of course, although her mask of sanity was slowly beginning to slip the longer she was in the wilderness.

                                            "Hey, we're cool, right?" Mari asks Suki who nods.

                                            "Yeah. What... happened to your nose?" Suki replied, noticing a little mark on the bridge of Mari's nose.

                                            "Nothing. I walked into the door. Clumsy of me, right?" Mari quickly responds, forcing a laugh from her lips.

                                             Suki slowly nods, forcing herself to believe Mari's ridiculous story. "Right. You should be more careful next time."

                                            Suki suddenly heard footsteps then, although it wasn't from any of them. It was coming from outside and yet it was absolutely impossible to hear them. Suki's senses seemed to be heightened and once again, she could feel something approaching. Or rather, someone. The unmistakable sound of snow crunching underneath boots grew louder and louder until...

                                            The front door swings open and everyone turns to see Van and Taissa walking inside of the cabin. Van had some snow on her while Taissa had a bandana wrapped around her face to protect her from the freezing cold wind. Suki didn't even remember seeing the two of them leave but with her mind being so distracted, it was possible.

                                           Suki's heart skips a beat, however, when she and the others quickly see that they weren't alone. With them was none other than Javi himself, making Suki rise up to her feet.

                                           "Holy fucking shit," Courtney declared, basically speaking for them all.

                                          Suki and Lottie share a stunned look and Natalie was equally stunned, probably due to the fact that she had been wrong all along. Everyone started asking questions, no one able to believe that the boy was standing there. It was like seeing a ghost right before them. Suki slowly approaches Javi at the same time Travis did, although he obviously reached his little brother first.

                                            "How - how the hell are you alive?" Travis questioned before he pulls the emotionless boy in for a hug.

                                             Javi seemed to tense up at his brother's touch, upsetting Travis further. "Javi, hey, it's me, it's your brother."

                                            But Javi still didn't respond. Travis then looked over at Natalie who instantly walked away, hiding from her boyfriend. All of her arguments and lies had now blown up in her face with Javi's arrival and she felt immensely guilty for it.

                                           "This means Lottie and Suki were right. They were the ones who said Javi was alive," Mari proudly declared with a grin.

                                           "Three cheers for Lottie and Suki! Hip-hip -!" Misty began, only to be cut off by Mari glaring at her.

                                          "They knew he was alive, but Taissa knew where he was," Van remarked, turning to look at her girlfriend who remained silent. Taissa was obviously in shock and disbelief, staying firmly rooted in her denial. "You can't deny this anymore. There is something deep inside of you that is connected to all of this."

                                          Taissa looked at the others, most of them seeming to come around to the conclusion that there was something more. Perhaps Lottie was right. They had been brought here for a reason - a purpose. And it was so much bigger than them. If they thought that things were intense now, it was only going to be getting worse from here.

(🌲🔪🦌)

word count: 2182
notes: which one do you guys think is the most shocking revelation in this chapter? javi coming back or misty discovering what lesbian sex is 🤣