25: TOBY, DON'T SAY YOU LOVE 'OLIVER!' OUT LOUD, PEOPLE MIGHT GET THE WRONG IDEA

« shut up and drink your gin. »

"SO YOU THINK I should just text him?" Allison says into the phone, biting her lip in thought. On the other side of the line, Reuben gives a heavy sigh, a rush of static down the receiver.

"Yes, Allison," she can practically hear him rolling eyes. "You should text him."

"But he hasn't texted me..."

"Be the mature one and make the first move."

"What if he doesn't want to talk to me?"

"He does."

"But what if he doesn't?"

Reuben gives another sigh. "Allison. He does. I promise. Just do it, okay? For me. And if it doesn't work out - wait!" he stops himself in mock horror. "What am I talking about? Of course it will!"

"That's what you think," Allison mutters.

"Yeah, it is what I think, and I think right, like, ninety-nine percent of the time."

"More like ninety-five."

"Your odds are still fucking great."

"Okay," Allison says. "Fine. I'll text him."

Reuben snorts. "You're saying it like you're doing me a favour, or something. Do you not want to talk to him?"

"I do, I just..." Allison trails off thoughtfully. "What if he doesn't want to talk to me?"

"You know, I'm getting déjà vu, it's like...hold on - it's almost as if...oh! As if you literally just said these exact words to me thirty seconds previously."

Allison scowls. "Reuben. I'm serious."

"So am I. If he doesn't talk to you then it's his loss. You're fucking hot."

She hesitates, not knowing which part of his response to get annoyed at first. She settles for a terse: "I don't see how my attractiveness has anything to do with us making up as friends."

"As friends. Sure."

"We are!"

"That's what they all say, and: bam! They're having friendly make-up sex."

Allison can feel her cheeks begin to heat up and thanks God that Reuben can't see her. "Shut up, Reuben."

"You're blushing, aren't you?"

"What? No!"

"Oh, you totally are," she can't see Reuben, but she has no doubt that there's an infuriating smirk on his face. "C'mon, like you haven't thought of getting it on with the guy?"

By this point, Allison's cheeks are definitely burning. "I have not!" she declares.

"Sure."

"You're terrible."

"I know. Listen, I gotta go, okay? Just talk to him. It'll be fine, I promise. Text me and tell me how it went."

"Okay," Allison replies. "Bye."

"Bye, Allison. Say hi to Toby when you both get your shit together."

Allison is about to reply, but Reuben's already hung up, his voice being replaced with a single monotone beep. She brings her phone away from her face with a long-suffering sigh, slumping back down on the bed and ending up opening up her message conversation with Toby, thumbs hovering over the keypad. She chews at her lip in thought for a few more seconds, before steeling herself and beginning to type a message.

18.13, Allison Reed: Hey. Wanna meet up at Starbucks? I think we need to talk.

Allison stares at the message for at least half a minute before sending it, before proceeding to keep staring long after she's pressed send, wondering if it's too formal or weird or uncomfortable. Only a few minutes later, her phone buzzes with a response, even though it feels much longer.

18.15, Toby Martin: see you there in ten??

18.16, Allison Reed: Okay.

✦

By the time Allison's heaving open the door to Starbucks and entering, letting some of the chilly January wind in with her, Toby's already there - she can see him sat at a small table in the corner of the coffeeshop by the window, sipping at a paper cup with an identical one across from him. When she draws close enough, he catches sight of her and stands up.

Allison stops short directly in front of him, and looks him in the eye, because she refuses to be the nervous one. "Hey," she says.

"Hey," Toby shifts slightly from foot to foot, and she realises that he's already filled the space of the nervous one.

Allison can't think of anything to say, so instead she just lets whatever occurs to her come out. And that happens to be: "Did you know we just accidentally quoted Next to Normal?"

Because it's possible that she made Laura show it to her over the weekend and it's possible she really liked it. Maybe.

Toby smiles at that, hesitant and unsure. "We did."

"That's a musical," she tells him, even though she's very sure that he already knows. "Just saying."

Toby's smile is growing in magnitude now. "Yeah. It is."

And she looks at him, and he looks at her, and she doesn't know who went in first - well, actually, she does, it was totally Toby - but suddenly she has warm, strong arms being wrapped around her, her cheek squashed into his chest, and all she can smell is cinnamon and sugar and melted butter - the bakery, all over again - and she's missed him.

"I'm sorry," she can just hear Toby's murmur dropped into her hair over the general hum of other conversations in the coffeeshop. "I'm so sorry, Allison, I wasn't - I wasn't thinking straight and I..."

"Ssh," Allison pulls back to look at him, and at the sight of the look on his face, feels all and any anger at him that might still have been lingering in the back of her mind melt away entirely. "It's okay," she says softly. And she thinks that she means it.

Toby looks down at her for a long moment, before swallowing and beginning to nod, a little jerkily. "I, uh - I got you a hot chocolate," he manages to say, gesturing towards the table directly beside them.

Allison smiles, moving to sit in the seat that Toby hadn't been sitting in prior to her entering the coffeeshop. "Thanks," she says quietly.

Toby sits opposite her, and they both sit in silence for some time, Allison sipping at her hot chocolate and trying not to glance up at Toby, whose eyes she can feel following her every movement. Eventually, though, it's too much for her to handle, and she looks up at him once she's about a quarter of the way through her cup.

"So," she says.

"So," Toby repeats, a little nervously. "I'm guessing - I'm guessing you want an explanation, huh?"

"Not really," Allison tells him honestly. "Daniel told me the basics. I don't want to make you go over it again. It's probably not a fun story to tell."

"I'll do it if you -"

"I don't," Allison shakes her head. "I don't need you to. I just..." she trails off and takes a deep breath. "Did you really mean it?" she forces out, trying not to let her voice shake too much. She lets her eyes fall to the table and away from his, studying each groove and burn in the wooden surface. "What you said?"

Toby pauses and she hears the soft sound of him setting his coffee cup down. "Allison..."

Before she knows it, his fingers are tucking beneath her chin, pushing it up so she's looking directly at him. "Of course I didn't mean it," he says gently. "I was upset and angry - mostly at myself. And I say stupid things when I'm angry." He hesitates, trying to smile. "That's why I try not to get angry, ever," he jokes. "It never works out. Especially not when I get angry at my best friends."

At the words best friends, Allison feels something warm bloom in her chest, spreading itself till it's reaching the tips of her fingers and toes. She feels a little dizzy, and the feeling of his fingers against her face isn't really helping. "I guess not," she murmurs.

"You know, I can't even remember what I said," Toby shrugs. "It was that stupid. I didn't mean it at all."

"I can remind you if you want," Allison retorts, but it's more dry humour than anything else, and thankfully, Toby seems to realise, letting out a laugh as his fingers fall away from Allison's face.

"I don't doubt you'll seize the opportunity when it presents itself," he agrees with a chuckle. There's a pause, and Allison catches Toby looking at her in a way that makes her nervous but not nervous at the same time.

"So," he says curiously. "Next to Normal, huh?"

"Ah," Allison shifts with discomfort in her chair, but for some reason, she can already feel the beginnings of a wry smile inching its way onto her lips. "I was wondering when you'd bring that up."

"You watched a musical," Toby sings. "Without me. And it wasn't for the project. You've been -"

"I swear to God, Toby, if the next word that comes out of your mouth is con -"

"- verted! I've converted you!"

Allison kicks him under the table.

"Ow!" Toby pouts. "That was so unnecessary!"

"I warned you," Allison sniffs in response.

Toby looks affrontedly at her for a few beats, and she holds his gaze, before he suddenly breaks out in a smile. Allison's eyes narrow in suspicion.

"What?" she says slowly.

"Nothing," Toby beams. "I've missed you."

The comment is so unexpected that Allison is at a loss of what to do, which of course means that Toby ends up being kicked again.

"Allison -"

"Whatever, idiot," Allison shakes her head and tries to brush it off, but feels her hand moving almost of its own accord towards Toby's across the table, pausing when their fingers are just touching.. "I missed you too."

Toby's smile returns full force, and Allison's kind of glad that she's sitting down, because her knees feel oddly weak at the sight of it. Then he starts rambling on about the musicals they need to watch and which ones she's already seen and which one they should watch next, and Allison feels a lot better already.

✦

"Oh, thank God," is all Lydia says when she sees the two of them standing at her locker discussing 'Oliver!' (because it's the musical they're watching next)  at school the next morning. "It was getting boring, honestly."

"Gee, thanks, Lydia," Allison says dryly at the same time as Toby says, "Sorry."

"Well, as long as it's all good now," Lydia says lightly, inspecting her nails. "So, Oliver, huh?"

"I love Oliver!" Toby exclaims loudly.

"Careful there, people might get the wrong idea," Allison says dryly, moving to open her own locker and retrieve her books.

"And I'm just checking - the two of you are definitely okay now?" Lydia asks.

"Yes," Allison says with an eye-roll, punctuating the statement with the slam of her locker door before turning back to Toby and Lydia. "We are."

"Good," Lydia says firmly. "Now, excuse me, Toby, but I have to do this. Please don't take it personally."

Toby has just enough time to frown in confusion before Lydia straightens up, looks him directly in the eye, and slaps him clean round the face.

Allison feels like her eyes are on the verge of falling out of her head. "Lydia - what the -"

It's literally been about three seconds, but people have already started flocking around them, whispering and giggling about how No, I'm serious, Lydia Huntington literally just slapped him like, right now. Toby is slack-jawed in surprise, hand moving to touch his face gingerly; Lydia holds his gaze and doesn't even look at Allison, practically crackling with electricity, and it's shattered glass all over again.

"Toby," she says in a calm, collected tone of voice that sends shivers down Allison's spine, "I love you. But the day you ever - ever - hurt Allison Reed again will be your last on this earth, so help me God."

Allison can't even begin to articulate the things running through her head, too inexplicably caught by the fierce, ruthless expression on Lydia's face. It's one she doesn't think she's ever seen before, and it kind of terrifies her.

Toby, however, looks strangely understanding. He studies Lydia for a long time, eyes travelling her face slowly.

"Understood," he says softly into the complete silence of the hallway.

Lydia expels a breath, and suddenly the electricity vanishes into thin air, the glass piecing itself together again. "Good," she says, her voice a lot smaller than it was only a moment ago. "Good. I...good. I - I need to go."

She pauses for a moment before turning quickly away and being swallowed by the small crowd surrounding them. Allison goes automatically to follow, but feels a hand catching her wrist. She turns back to see Emmett, who she guesses turned up with everyone else at some point.

"Leave her," he says quietly. Allison stares at him in surprise, and he adds: "I think she needs a moment alone."

"What -" Allison begins, but she's cut off by Emmett shaking his head with a smile that looks a little sad.

"You really don't see it, do you?"

"See what?" she asks immediately.

Emmett holds her gaze for a long moment. "Nothing," he says slowly afterwards. "I - nothing. Just...just give her a moment, okay?"

"Okay," Allison frowns. Lydia needing a moment alone has always meant Lydia needing a moment alone with her, to talk out what's wrong or how she feels or if she's upset. And Allison needing a moment alone has always worked that way too. She doesn't understand why Lydia suddenly wants to go without it.

✦

"Bad news," Toby announces as he joins Allison and Laura in the canteen at lunch the next day.

Allison sighs and sets down her fork. "Hit me."

"I may have misplaced my Oliver DVD. I mean, it's possible."

She sits forward slightly. Opposite her, the hints of a smile are beginning to show themselves on Laura's face. "Hold on," Allison cocks her head to the side in mock confusion. "Do you mind repeating that for me? I mean, I just had this crazy idea that, I don't know, you just said you'd lost a DVD of a musical, but, I mean, I must've been hallucinating, or something -"

"Yeah, okay, fine," Toby huffs. "That's what I said."

"Hm," Allison leans back with a smirk and glances at Laura, who grins back. A few seconds later, she glances back at Toby, who's surveying their wordless conversation with a small degree of confusion.

"What?" Allison asks, sipping at her juice.

"Nothing," Toby shakes his head and mutters something under his breath which sounds vaguely along the lines of 'eye sex'. Allison's eyebrows shoot up, because she's pretty sure it's the crassest thing she's ever heard him say.

"Toby," Laura sighs. "Just because we were exchanging a look does not mean we were fucking with our eyes -"

Toby colours a bright shade of pink. Allison's eyebrows go up a little more, because she's pretty sure that's the crassest thing she's ever heard Laura say, too.

"I didn't say that you two were -"

"Oh, come on, I totally heard you, we both totally heard you-"

"I was just -"

They must bring this out in each other, Allison realises pensively as she watches the two of them debate whether eye-sex was an appropriate way to describe her and Laura's interaction (which it totally wasn't).

"Allison?"

Allison looks up from her lunch. Toby and Laura are peering at her with the exact same expression, and she feels like she's seeing double. "Yep," she nods. "I'm listening."

Toby glances at Laura and Laura glances back and they converse silently in a way that kind of annoys her but she knows she should expect whenever she spends even a minute with these two together. "I was just saying. I'm sure we can find the DVD somewhere. It won't take that long to look for."

"I'll help!" Laura chirps.

And because Allison is stupid and has kind of forgotten about how Toby's home is practically a rabbit warren and thinks that three pairs of eyes (and hands) will mean that they'll find the damn DVD pretty quickly, Allison says "Okay," and doesn't think she'll regret it or anything.

✦

Allison regrets it.

She really, really does.

"How much fucking junk do you have in this fucking house," she growls, using a miscellaneous cardboard tube to beat away various things falling close to her face with what's probably a worrying amount of violence.

"Uh...a lot?" Toby's voice says, sounding a little nervous. She can't see him, because they've gone up to the attic after failing to find the DVD in most of the other rooms, which means they are completely surrounded by towers of boxes.

"You need to clear this out," Laura agrees with Allison from a point behind her.

"I'll fucking say." Allison is frustrated. "We've been here for two hours -"

"It's fun!" Toby says in a sickeningly enthusiastic tone. "Think of it as a team building exercise!"

"For what team?" she snarls in response, knocking over one of the boxes while she's at it.

"Humour him, Allison," Laura says. "I think he's been hoping for a threesome ever since he caught us apparently having eye-sex at lunch."

At this, Toby's head suddenly pops up from the other side of the dark room, and she can just make out the hair sticking up in all directions and the eyes, which are as wide as saucers. "What?"

"I was saying," Laura repeats. "You were probably -"

"N - no!" Toby trips over a box in his hastiness to get up and locate Laura, and both her and Laura stifle snorts. "No, I was not - !"

Toby's markedly fervent denial is cut off by peals of laughter coming from Laura's direction. Allison rolls her eyes and kneels to begin to look through a new box whilst the other two resume their discussion on threesomes.

Naturally, with Toby and Laura and their various conversations on God knows what moving at what one might call a very slow pace, it's Allison who digs up the DVD after another hour of searching; not in the attic, but in Toby's room.

The bedroom is pretty much everything she expected it to be – well, not expected as such, because she hasn't exactly been spending hours thinking about what it would look like, but it is the solidified version of the vague picture that was probably lingering somewhere in the back of her mind. There are posters everywhere – and they're mostly of musicals. There's autographs and signed Playbills and T-shirts and it's all so Broadway that she thinks she might just throw up. There's also a pair of glittery shoes standing by the closet that she isn't quite sure she wants to know the origins of.

Generally, though, it's ridiculously Toby; each wall – well, what she can see of each wall that isn't covered in posters – is painted a bright colour, and the entire thing is clearly organised but clearly not at the same time – an organised mess, Allison thinks. It's so ridiculously different from the rest of the house but at the same time she thinks she couldn't have expected anything else.  What strikes her as odd is the complete lack of photos in the room – of his family, at least. There are a few of Daniel and him here and there, and one of Laura with the two of them in their Grease costumes, but otherwise, nothing.

But really, it isn't odd, not when she thinks it over. If she takes into account Toby's pretty tragic family history, it's almost expected. Her heart aches just a little just when she turns it over in her mind. She tries to imagine her own mom forgetting everything about her, and all that comes up is a marked blankness, her mind not even willing to consider it. She isn't sure she could ever live without her mom. The thought terrifies her. She thinks of thirteen year-old Toby being told he'd probably have to, and swallows hard. It isn't a nice mental image.

Eventually, though, her mind manages to wander away from such grim subject matter, and Allison ends up sitting on Toby's bed and just looking around - that's when the DVD cover catches her eye, balanced high up on a bookshelf.

"Hey, Toby," Allison calls, eyes still fixed on the DVD. "Think I found it."

"Where are you?" Toby replies from downstairs.

"Your room."

A few seconds later, she can hear his footfalls up the stairs, and the slight creak of the door when he comes in. "Where?" he says.

She nods in the direction she's looking, and he follows her line of sight, before saying: "Awesome!" and walking over to pluck the DVD from the bookcase.

Allison can't help rolling her eyes when he's turning back to her holding the DVD and there's a huge grin on his face. "Wanna go watch it?" he says, as though she has a choice.

"You're saying it like I have a choice."

Toby beams.

✦

Allison can happily say that she's never watched Oliver! before, but she did read the actual book by Dickens at some point during middle school, so she knows the general plot and characters and doesn't feel entirely out of her depth whilst watching it sat in between two musical theatre nerds. Just mostly out of her depth.

Even with prior knowledge of the story, she didn't realise there'd be such a heavy focus on Oliver missing his mom - like, a focus to the point of him singing about missing her. They're only a little way in when Toby falls silent, and the suddenness of it causes Allison to glance at him.

Oliver's stood in the dark in a cellar and singing about love and where to find it, and she can just make out the bob of Toby's Adam's apple as he swallows hard. The next thing she can catch sight of is Laura's hand moving to grip his.

"I'm okay," she hears him murmur very quietly to her, and his tone is heavy with what she thinks might be unshed tears, and it makes her fingers itch with a sudden urge to find his like Laura's did - but she thinks that Toby would prefer for her to pretend she can't hear the exchange at all. So she does. She shifts closer, leaning into him a little, but doesn't do anything else. She hopes that between them, her and Laura can provide a little relief for the wound that onscreen Oliver seems to be reopening. And when Toby brings up an arm to wipe his face against his sleeve, she keeps her eyes fixed on the television.

By I'd Do Anything, Toby seems to have recovered slightly - enough to sing the duets with Laura along with Dodge and Nancy, anyway. Allison rolls her eyes and tries not to snigger at the (admittedly, pretty accurate) British accents the two of them put on, singing and quoting the dialogue in between the singing and basically putting on their own mini version of Oliver! right there in the living room. She's busy thinking about how she needs to stop making friends with drama geeks that she doesn't realise Toby and Laura are standing in front of her and singing with earnest expressions.

"I'd do anything," Laura sings, going to kneel in front of her. Allison rolls her eye and tries not to look amused.

"For you, dear," Toby mirrors Laura's expression, also kneeling and taking Allison's hand. She tries to retain her glare and ignores the tingles in her fingers. "Anything!"

"For you mean everything," Laura takes her other hand. "To me!"

"I know that I'd go anywhere -"

"For your smile -"

"Anywhere!"

"For your smile, everywhere -"

"I'd see!"

"I'd risk everything -"

"For one kiss -"

"Okay, that's enough," Allison says, rolling her eyes, because she thinks that mentioning kissing is a surefire way to get things very awkward very clearly if things go wrong. "Thanks, guys. I appreciate your devotion."

"Give us a smile, Allison!" Laura chirps, still speaking in a British accent.

"Yeah, Allison, give us a smile, Allison!" British Toby agrees.

"Or a kiss!"

"Or a kiss," Toby laughs, the Britishness still there. "Give us a kiss, Allison!"

Allison's breath catches suddenly, and she thinks she probably stares a little too long at Toby before realising he was just kidding, and then, for some reason, feeling disappointed, and then wondering why she feels disappointed, and then wondering why she ever thought he wasn't kidding in the first place.

Then she glares at him. Because she doesn't like that he's making her confused, especially considering she doesn't even like him. "No," Allison sniffs, then she pushes Toby, and he falls back onto the carpet. Laura lets loose a laugh, and Allison doesn't hesitate to use the opportunity to push her, too, when she's off-guard, so she ends up staring down at the both of them with undisguised satisfaction.

"Now, whilst you two are enjoying yourselves down there, I am going to watch the movie," Allison says, and if it maybe comes out a little British, that is so not her fault.

She diverts her attention back to Fagin telling his boys to be back soon, which of course means that she doesn't notice Toby and Laura exchanging devious grins and only realises that they've reached up to pull her down with them onto the floor once they've pulled her down with them onto the floor.

"I'm getting déjà vu," Allison growls at Toby.

Toby shrugs, already turning over onto his front to continue watching the film. "You're making it too easy to make pull you off the couch. Make it harder next time."

"Shut up," Allison retorts. "You're the one always kneeling in front of me."

"Kinky," Laura remarks from her other side. Allison musters the dirtiest look she possibly can before throwing it in her direction.

"You disgust me. Both of you."

"There's a better viewpoint from down here," Toby offers.

"That's what she said," Laura says without missing a beat.

"Oh my God," Allison's used up all of her I am supremely disgusted looks already, and has to settle for huffing in indignation. "Was that really necessary?"

"Yes," Laura says with conviction.

"Ssh," Toby says. "This is the best part."

Allison scowls. "Shut up, Toby."

_______________________________________________________________

a/n: I'D DO ANYTHINGGGGGGG for a comment. because they mean everything to me.