26: IT'S OKAY NOT TO BE ABLE TO SWIM, IT'S JUST A LIFE SAVING SKILL

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"I STILL HAVE no idea why you two like watching swim practice so much," Allison has just climbed out of the pool to be greeted by the sight of both Laura and Toby sat at the side, each with a load of homework in their laps.

"Well, I know why Toby wants to watch y -" Laura begins with a smirk, but is cut off by a sharp glare from Toby's direction. Allison tries not to do something stupid like blush, and ends up sort of running a hand through her (wet) hair, which for some reason only widens Laura's smirk and makes Toby look at her like she's Jesus Christ incarnate.

"Well, I hope you enjoyed me swimming around for over an hour and a half," Allison says wryly, just managing to ignore the way Toby's gaze is making her gut lurch and how exposed she feels dressed in nothing but a wet piece of lycra.

"I did," Laura says seriously, then slipping into a stage whisper, she adds: "So did Toby."

At this, Toby pulls his eyes away from Allison to glare again at Laura. "Shut up," he says.

Laura smiles, but doesn't respond. Instead, she turns to Allison and says: "Go change, before Toby collapses or something. We'll head for Starbucks now and meet you there, okay?"

"Okay," Allison chooses to ignore her other statement about Toby collapsing and its possible connotations, instead making a beeline for the changing room.

Eventually, Toby had explained to Laura about their English project, thus providing method to the madness that she'd been observing on Allison's part for the past few weeks.

"Trust Toby to rope you into this," was all she'd said, rolling her eyes. Now, they're going to Starbucks, because Allison needs coffee after swimming (this and when she has it with Daniel are the only times she'll ever drink the stuff) and because Toby and Laura want to come with her.

Allison hasn't really talked to Lydia for a while apart from a few lukewarm texts here and there, and it's not really sitting well with her. She can tell Lydia's distancing herself a little, and isn't sure why. She feels like they've had a fight when they haven't. Not really, anyway. Lydia's a specialist in Cold War-esque arguments. Occasionally, it's so bad that Allison doesn't even know where they stand.

She thinks about it now as she emerges from the shower and dresses swiftly. It's been like this ever since Lydia slapped Toby in the middle of the hallway, something that, several days later, is still being talked about. It isn't often that Lydia loses her cool in public, and Allison's got a feeling that the entire ordeal is going to end up being the stuff of Hunter High School legend.

It's still stuck in her head, Lydia's face when she was threatening Toby. Threatening him, Allison thinks, stuffing her things into her kit bag and walking out of the changing room, heading to the gates. Lydia was threatening him. And she meant it.

Allison has no doubt of Lydia's ability to raise hell when it suits her. She'd probably find a dozen different ways to make Toby's life practically torturous, in high school or out. She just never thought that she would be a suitable reason to do so. Not really, anyway.

But Lydia looked deadly serious. Allison can't begin to explain, even to herself, the look that had been in her eyes. Like...scary. Terrifying. If Allison had been on the end of that look, she'd probably have pissed herself right where she stood. And the way it just suddenly went away, in a split second. How flustered she looked afterwards. Allison doesn't get it, and she doesn't get why she doesn't get it, because she always gets Lydia. She could, like, teach the art of getting Lydia. Lydia Huntington 101. She should know what's up.

Shouldn't she?

You really don't see it, do you? Emmett's words bounce around her head. Ridiculous.

Of course I see it, Allison thinks, hiking her sports bag higher up on her shoulder and kicking at a stray pebble on the sidewalk as she begins her journey to the coffeeshop. It's raining hard enough for her to need to squint through it, but not so hard that she needs to pull out an umbrella or other such shield from the water.  Lydia's just...emotional.

About what?

Life. Periods. College apps. Me.

This thought dredged up from her subconscious makes Allison stop in her tracks. Me? she thinks.

Truth is, all Allison can compare Lydia's behaviour to is her own behaviour in her last year of middle school. Her closest friend was a guy called Kurt Jackson. He was tall with brown hair and what at the time was the cutest smile she'd ever seen in her life. He was good at baseball and math and listening to her talk, which naturally meant she ended up becoming very unhealthily attached.

Middle school Allison Reed had watched enough best friend romances to know that the first rule was to never ever admit one's burgeoning feelings for their best friend, because it just ended badly. You had to wait until some freak accident or near-death experience exposed both parties' feelings at the same time, which would miraculously be mutual. But never confess, because then you lose both your friendship and your shot at something vaguely romantic, which sucks. So she tried to keep their interaction as platonic as possible in an attempt to keep from inadvertently exposing herself, which eventually meant she ended up whittling their interaction down to nothing but a "hey" in hallways and the maintenance of their pact to work together if there was ever paired work.

Middle school Allison Reed kept waiting for her freak accident or her near-death experience. But it never came. Kurt Jackson moved to Pennsylvania the day after graduation and, a few weeks later, got himself a super cute girlfriend. And Allison wallowed in self pity for pretty much the whole summer, then suddenly she didn't. She still messages Kurt on Facebook, occasionally. It's cool.

The thing is, Allison's mind is drawing the comparison between current Lydia and middle school Allison, but then there's just a blank. The idea of those two things being even vaguely correlated is ridiculous. It doesn't make sense. Lydia's her best friend. And she certainly isn't Lydia's Kurt Jackson.   

"Damn it, Lydia," Allison mutters as she approaches Starbucks. There has to be something. What's more frustrating is that Lydia isn't telling her what it is, and it's making Allison feel like she's in the wrong.

She's still frowning in an annoyance when she reaches Toby and Laura, who are deep in conversation but break to look up and give her identical smiles.

"Hey, frowny face," Laura teases. "You alright there?"

"I'm fine," Allison shakes her head, depositing her bag by Toby's feet and sitting in the empty seat between them. "Sorry. Just...tired from swimming."

Laura nods, but Toby's eyeing her closely. "I got you your coffee," he says, offering the cup to her.

"Thanks," Allison says gratefully, taking it from him and squeezing his hand in silent thanks before drawing away. It's times like these, with the way Toby's looking at her and the reminder that he knows her coffee order (milk and extra extra extra sugar), that she thinks he might just know her almost as well as Lydia does. Allison wonders if talking to him about whatever's up with Lydia might help.

She sips at the coffee, and doesn't mean to sigh out loud in relief, but clearly that's what ends up happening, because Laura is looking at her with barely disguised amusement.

"Sorry," says Allison, swallowing. "Coffee's good after swim."

"I can imagine," Toby nods, sipping at his own drink. Laura cocks her head and shoots him a knowing smile.

"Can you?" she teases.

Toby colours, and it takes Allison a few seconds to work out why. "Oh yeah," she says out loud. "I forgot about that."

He turns on her, eyes narrowing. "Forgot about what?"

"That you can't, you know..." Allison trails off and shrugs before taking another drag from her coffee cup. "Swim."

Toby's blush intensifies. Allison doesn't know why. She doesn't really think it's much to be embarrassed at. Beside her, Laura is clearly struggling to suppress a smile.

"Who told you?" Toby manages.

Allison thinks of Daniel and how betrayed he'll be if she mentions his name. "Daniel," she says with a smirk.

Toby mutters something vaguely along the lines of a plot to kill his best friend.

"I don't get why  you're so embarrassed," Allison shrugs. "It's just swimming. No big deal."

Laura nods in agreement. "I mean, sure, it's a life saving skill, but..." she trails off, her tone teasing. "Like Allison says. No big deal."

Toby's studying the table like it's the most fascinating thing in the world. "Whatever," he mutters.

"Aw, don't get upset," Allison says lightly, nudging his knee with hers and hiding her smile behind her coffee. "We're just teasing."

He huffs at the table. Allison looks at him in amusement, then a thought occurs to her.

"I'll teach you, if you want."

Toby looks up. "What?"

"Yeah," Allison hums in thought. "You free this weekend?"

"Allison," he huffs in disbelief. "You can't just teach me how to -"

"Sure I can," Allison arches a brow, daring him to argue. He doesn't. Beside them, Laura's smirk is only growing in magnitude. "There's a pool, like, forty minutes from my house. We can go tomorrow."

Toby's still frowning. "I don't think..."

"Well, I do. Come to my house and we'll drive there, okay? But like, early. So there's less people."

There's still faint residue of blush on Toby's cheeks, but he's looking at her in the weird way he does sometimes when she's said something that completely surprises him. "Okay," he says after a while.

"Good," Allison says contendedly. "What are we watching next, by the way? Laura, you should watch with us."

"Oh, I don't know about that," Laura's still smirking. It kind of suits her, Allison thinks, objectively. If she were a boy, she'd probably find it really hot. "I think that's too much third-wheeling for me to take."

Allison frowns. "What?"

"Nothing," Laura sings.

"You weren't third-wheeling when we watched Oliver," Toby points out.

"There's nothing to third-wheel," Allison huffs. "I don't even get what you're trying to say."

"Nothing," Laura says again, but this time Allison can tell she's trying to be serious. "It doesn't matter. But I don't know, if you guys are swimming tomorrow, might as well just watch it after and get it out the way, right?"

"What is it?" Allison turns to Toby, who for some reason is looking a little dejected, like her claiming that there's nothing to third wheel is somehow incorrect. It annoys her, firstly because all she was doing what being honest, and Toby's her friend, so yeah, there's that, and secondly because, like Lydia always says, a guy who's upset at being 'friendzoned' is not a guy even worth being friends with, let alone anything else.

She's never pegged Toby for being that guy. And she hopes it's just a fluke and he's having a bad day or something, because he's pretty much her best friend bar Lydia and yeah. She's not exactly a fan of guys who get upset over that sort of thing. She's pretty sure he doesn't like her, anyway. It's cool. They're friends.

"Funny Girl," Toby replies to her previous question.

"Awesome!" Laura exclaims at the same as Allison's brows furrow and she says, "Is that the one with Barbra Streisand?"

"Yeah," Toby says, bringing his drink to his lips. "It wouldn't kill you to be a little more enthusiastic."

Allison's eyes narrow at his biting tone. "Excuse me?"

"I said..." Toby trails off, before shaking his head and putting down his cup on the table. "Whatever. Doesn't matter."

Her jaw clenches. She doesn't know if Toby's still embarrassed about the swimming thing and pulling bitchy shit just to hide it, but whatever it is, she's really not in the mood.

"Okay, well," Allison pretends to drain her cup even though it's still half-full, and gets up. . "I should go."

Laura frowns. "But -"

"Got a lot of work," she shrugs. "I'll text you later, okay?" she says, making sure to be clearly talking only to Laura. She's not communicating with Toby until he's ready to grow the hell up, she decides.

"Okay," Laura purses her lips, then, to Allison's surprise, takes Allison's hand and squeezes it slightly, out of Toby's view, pressing their fingers together. "See you later," she murmurs.

Allison offers her a half-hearted smile, feeling a sudden rush of affection for her. "Yeah," she agrees quietly. "Bye."

She leaves quickly after that, having to take the subway because she'd left her car at home that morning. For the whole journey back, she feels awful. And lonely. Lydia's being strangely distant, Toby's being strangely dickish, and the only person who's even bothering to be decent is Laura, which is ridiculous, since they only really started talking, like, two weeks ago.

She gets home and goes up to her room with barely a word to her mom, who's busy with work, anyway, and ends up staring at her phone in a very pathetic manner. Eventually Allison forsakes her pride in favour of typing out a text to Lydia.

19.03, Allison Reed: Wanna come over? There's Gossip Girl in the Netflix queue and Cookies n Cream in the freezer.

19.08, Lydia Huntington: Kinda weighed down with homework right now, sorry. :(

Allison stares at her phone and squeezes her eyes shut. Ridiculously, her throat's beginning to block up, a sure sign that she's on the verge of tears. Lydia has always had an absolutely ironclad rule of never doing homework on a Friday, and the confirmation that this means she's actively avoiding her makes Allison's stomach turn and her thumbs move to type out an answering text before she can stop herself.

19.14, Allison Reed: It's fine. I know how horrifyingly boring my company must be for you, so just text me when you can bring yourself to spend another minute in my presence.

It's catty and petty, she knows, but Allison's frustrated and upset and she refuses to feel guilty about it. Lydia's in the wrong, here, she thinks determinedly. Not her.

She brings up Netflix and watches Gossip Girl by herself. She doesn't go and get the Cookies 'n' Cream ice cream out the freezer, because she doesn't like Cookies 'n' Cream anyway.

Lydia doesn't answer her text.

✦

"I'm here!" Toby says brightly when she opens the door the next morning. "Your ready and willing student!"

Allison arches a brow. At least someone's stopped treating her like complete shit. "Good," she says finally, after examining Toby closely for any traces of dickishness left in his system. After concluding that it's probably all gone, she says, "Let me go get my kit. You got your stuff?"

"Yep," Toby chirps, smiling. "Had to stop by Target for a pair of trunks, but it's all good now."

Allison snorts. "Okay. Be right back."

Her bag's already ready, since she did say for Toby to arrive early (and he clearly listened, since it's still, like, twenty minutes to eight, and usually she'd never ever wake up this early on a Saturday, but hey, there's always exceptions to the rule). All she has to do is dart back into the hallway and grab it, then her and Toby are heading to her car in through the still slightly dim January morning.

"So," she says once they're in the car and she's starting up the engine. "Ready to learn how to swim?"

Toby purses his lips thoughtfully. "I don't think so," he says finally.

Allison grins, eyes fixed on the road. "Good. Very good."

✦

So maybe something Allison should have remembered about swimming before she offered to teach it to Toby is that it actually involves being dressed in things that, generally, one is not usually dressed in. And, in a male's case, it often involves the aforementioned male being shirtless.

As in, exposing his entire upper body. Whilst being dripping wet.

She wouldn't say she's turned on, or anything, because her and Toby are friends and that would be totally inappropriate. Allison's just a little...hot and bothered.

And kind of really hoping Toby isn't going to make shaking his hair out after he gets it wet and smiling widely at her afterwards a habit because, like, hot and bothered.

They're in the shallow end of what's pretty much a deserted pool but for some few regulars swimming laps in the sectioned off part of the pool that Allison usually heads straight for.

Not today, she thinks. Today it's back to basics.

"So," Allison purses her lips and tries not to stare too hard at Toby.

"So," he echoes.

"Okay, well, first things first, how scared are you of the water?"

"Super scared," Toby replies without hesitation. Allison arches a brow.

"You seem pretty happy now."

"Allison, I'm standing up."

"Fair point," she concedes. "But, like, I mean, you're not scared of the water itself as an entity."

"I guess not."

"Okay." Allison closes her eyes, trying to plan out her next moves in her head, then opens them again and pins Toby with a look. "I want you to wade out into the water until you have to stand on your tiptoes to keep your head above the water. Okay?"

Toby looks out at the vast swimming pool spread out in front of them, as though seriously considering it.

"I'll be right behind you," Allison adds.

He expels a breath, before trying for a smile that's so soft  it makes her toes curl against the ceramic of the pool floor. "Okay."

Toby moves out, and once Allison's satisfied that he is actually struggling to keep his head above water whilst still standing on the pool floor, she says, "Stop."

"Now what?"

He's a lot taller than she is, which means she's already treading water where they've stopped. "Now, you're going to do what I'm doing right now."

Toby glances down, frowning as though realising she's not standing up for the first time. "You mean tread water?"

"Mhm," Allison nods, lips quirking up into a smile. "Start kicking your legs first."

"If I kick my legs, I won't be standing up."

"Toby, that's the point," she huffs out a laugh, but at the frown still gracing his features, she adds, in much the same manner as she did before; "I'm still right here, okay? Anything happens, I'm here. You trust me?"

"Yeah."

"Then kick your legs. You'll probably start moving your arms naturally, too, but in case you don't, we'll add the arms in after."

He follows her instructions hesitantly, lifting his feet off the floor of the pool and beginning to kick them, the movement creating huge bubbles beneath the surface of the water. As Allison predicted, he moves his arms of his own accord.

"See!" she says, grinning widely.

"I'm doing it?" Toby glances down at his own legs, before moving his eyes back up to hers.

"You sure are."

"Woah," he looks back down again, before huffing out a laugh. "I'm kinda disturbing the water a lot more than you are."

"Yeah, well, baby steps, Martin," Allison teases. "Next thing you know you'll be taking my place on the swim team."

Toby lets out a laugh at that, happy and bright, and it sets off a tumult of butterflies in Allison's stomach. She tries to ignore them, saying instead: "I think you've got it. Ready for the next step?"

"Yes, ma'am," Toby nods, moving his feet back down to touch the floor.

"Okay, back to the shallow end. We'll sit on the side and I'll show you arm strokes, yeah?"

"Okay," Toby beams at her, and Allison can't help but mirror it.

Hours later, and Toby's swimming proper widths in the middle of the pool with Allison beside him grinning widely. He's a quick learner, and it didn't take nearly as long as she thought it might.

"So whaddaya think?" Toby stands up in the pool. By now, there are dozens of other families in the pool, as well as people swimming laps on the other side.

She smiles at him. "Pretty damn good."

Toby beams, a wider version of her own smile. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," Allison nods. "A month and you'll be doing laps with those guys," she nods at the people swimming in the other section of the pool, and Toby laughs.

"I think that's a bit of a stretch, Allison."

The way his voice moves over her name catches oddly in her head. She swallows, attempting to give him another smile. "Well, I don't," she manages.

"Okay," Toby cocks his head, eyes still bright. "Well, I'm beat. You know any place around here that makes good food?"

Allison hums in thought as they make their way back to the shallow end. "Yeah, I think so, if you're up for a cheeseburger and fries."

"I am always up for a burger and fries," Toby asserts with passion, and Allison laughs.

"Was that a genuine statement or just a result of the swimming?"

"No, it was genuine," he assures her. "But, sidenote, I did not realise how hungry people get after swimming. It literally makes you starving."

"Tell me about it," Allison agrees. She always ends up tripling her normal food intake after swim practice.

They reach the pool edge, and Toby heaves himself out, which, oh God, because he is literally dripping wet and he has an ass and also kind of tight swimming trunks and calves and a torso which is completely soaking w -

"So, promise you won't take ages changing?"

Allison jerks up her eyes somewhat guiltily and manages to function just enough to catch Toby's last words in what was probably a continuous stream that she ended up tuning out. "Huh?"

He arches a brow, but there's a sharp look in his eye that makes Allison think he knows exactly where her eyes were just five seconds ago. He crouches down to her level, stood on the side while she's still stood in the pool, and no no no bad bad very bad super bad very extremely bad abort mission May Day May Day -

"I said, don't -"

"- take ages changing," Allison finishes breathlessly, swallowing hard and certainly not letting her eyes stray past Toby's neckline. "Yeah, sorry, I heard. Don't worry. I, uh, I won't."

Toby rocks back a little on his heels, and bites his lip that makes Allison furious.

"Good," he says slowly, smiling a little. Suddenly, he's leaning forward, and Allison's breath absolutely does not catch. He eyes her carefully, smile still more soft than complacent,  before repeating; "Good."

Furious.

He straightens and offers her a final, slightly more genuine smile before turning towards the changing room. Allison expels a breath she didn't realise she'd been holding, then plunges downwards, submerging her entire head beneath the water.

This was such a bad idea, she thinks as she puffs out a breath and watches it bubble in the blue liquid. A very big part of her is slightly  regretting doing this. And the other part of her is still stuck on the mental image of Toby in swimming trunks, so she's disowning it. Like, immediately.

Immediately after it's examined in detail the mental image of Toby in swimming trunks.

✦

"So," Toby deposits a curly fry into his mouth, and Allison tries not to stare too hard. "Where'd you learn to teach people how to swim?"

They're sitting in a really nice diner Allison would go to with her mom after a Saturday of swimming (well, a Saturday of swimming on Allison's part. Her mom's never been a big swimmer. She preferred to sit on the side and observe.), each with a large cheeseburger and fries, except Toby's are curly fries, which means he's constantly discovering new ways to eat them, which means that Allison's aggressively not looking at him and ignoring the markedly hot feeling twisting itself around the very lower parts of her gut.

She shrugs as he takes a bite from his burger and figures that yes, now is the okay time to look at him, because no one ever made eating a cheeseburger look attractive. "I never learned how to teach people."

"Well, you seemed to know what you were doing," he points out in between bites.

Allison pops a fry into her mouth and shrugs again. "I was just doing what made sense in my head."

"You're a really good teacher," he informs her.

"Nah," she brushes off, shaking her head. "You're just a good student."

"I object," he points a fry at her before biting into it. "You are an awesome teacher. And it's not just me who says so."

"Oh yeah?" she raises her eyebrows. "Who else, then?"

"That sophomore kid you tutored in Bio last year," Toby says triumphantly.

Allison frowns. "What, Neil? How did you know I -"

"He was in Cinderella this year," he responds. "Worked backstage. Said he got an A in his final because of you."

"Yeah, well," Allison's lips quirk upwards. "Neil's cute."

"Oh?" Toby waggles his eyebrows suggestively. "How cute is cute?"

She rolls her eyes and kicks him under the table, ignoring his wince of pain. "Shut up, idiot. You know what I mean."

He grins, and changes the subject. They talk for a long time, and it's only once Allison is finishing off the last few fries on her plate that Toby says: "Wanna go back to mine and watch Funny Girl?"

Allison gives a long-suffering sigh. "Alright," she agrees.

✦

Allison really hopes that Funny Girl isn't actually meant to be very funny, because right now, it's doing a poor job of living up to its name.

Either that or Allison's just too much of a cynic.

The way Toby's practically peeing with laughter every time a line is even being said, she feels like she should be tending towards the latter, but then again, it's Toby, so. You know.

It's good, or rather, Barbra Streisand is good. She's already done some research and knows that she won an Oscar for the role, and it's pretty impressive. She guesses that her and Jennifer Hudson are living proof that there are singers out there who can actually genuinely act rather than just flounce around in front of a camera.

Toby laughs and Allison takes notes whilst rolling her eyes at Toby laughing. The thing is, she never shushes him. She'll never admit it, but she actually really likes the sound of Toby's laugh; it's kind of like Laura's, sunshine, but with a bit more, that feeling you get when you put a puzzle piece into a jigsaw and it fits. Sunshine and puzzle pieces. Nice. Warm.

The credits are just beginning to roll when Allison's phone buzzes with a text. Seeing it's from Lydia, Allison frowns, and unlocks the screen. A read of the first few words shows that it isn't Lydia at all.

21.13, Lydia Huntington: Hey, Allison, it's Emmett. Lydia's kind of very drunk atm. Like, very very drunk.  Dont want you to panic, but I'm starting to think she's in a bad way. I know you're probably busy, but she could really use you right now.

Emmett's text goes on to explain how they're at her flat, at a spontaneous house party Lydia decided to throw, and how he's keeping an eye on her for the moment, but Allison's brain is caught on the first part of the message.

Lydia's kind of very drunk.

She could really use you right now.

In all the time she's known her, Lydia Huntington has only been drunk twice. The first was when her dad was hospitalised after he stopped taking his insulin shots and his blood sugar rose to critical levels. The second was after her parents left her home alone for three months straight.

"Allison?" Toby is peering at her from across the couch. Allison can feel the fear begin to thrum its way into her system.

"I have to go," she manages.

Then Allison runs.

____________________________________________________________

a/n: oh dear........oh dear oh dear oh DEAR