Here's the first chapter......

Please enjoy this gay romance.
This will be a severe age gap.

Warning rape mentioned!
And rape pregnancy mentioned and birth!

Age gap warning, Haven is thirty at the time of her death, but is reborn into an eighteen year old's body.
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My name is Haven; and I'm from America, and I was diagnosed with a rare brain tumor at age twenty-eight, and it has progressed to where at age thirty, that it's inoperable, so I am just awaiting my death.
The tumor causes me to have intense grandma seizures, to the point it could cause death.
The doctors have done all they can to make me as comfortable as they could; but my end is near, and I truly wished that I could have a second chance at life, so that I can have a happy love filled life with a gorgeous man, since I never could do so in my life.
I was sick at a young age; and as I grew up, I got even sicker, to the point I missed school, and I dropped out, and now my death is coming upon me.
And for the bullies that wished me dead; well they are getting their god-damned wish, because the doctors say that any day I could die, and I've accepted my death that will come upon me.

I was already on a defibrillator; because my lungs are having issues giving me oxygen, and the doctors have to keep me stable, by giving me medicine that makes me relaxed and tired, so that I will not have those intense seizures.
It's just I wish that I could euthanize myself, like European countries are allowing those who suffer like me.
I wanted it to end; which is sad that I am hoping I'll die soon.

Oxygen was flowing through my lungs through the defibrillator; that is until the power went out in the hospital, and my mother was by my bedside, her frantic, as my oxygen stopped, and I started choking, my face turning from red, then to blue, and apparently a hurricane was hitting our state, and it knocked the power out, and I look to my mother, giving her a look in my eyes to let me go.

As if my mother knew I wanted to die; she hugged me, and says.
"Go.
You can go now my child.
I love you Haven.
Wherever you go; please know I'll be meeting you soon."
Tears went sideways down my face as she said that, as my mind went dark, and I knew I was dead.

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"Reincarnation System Activate!"
I heard a really high voice say in the darkness, and I stood in the darkness, my chubby body in a gown, and I watch as a blue tiny dragon appear before me.

"Um.....who are you?"
I ask the blue tiny dragon.

"My name is Shin; and you have entered the Reincarnation System.
See; your soul is able to be reincarnated, because you never have done anything evil in your life, only that you suffered most your life, and showed much empathy towards others, even in death.
Only those who do not do evil deeds shall be reincarnated."
Shin the tiny blue dragon tells me.

"I don't understand."
I tell Shin.

"I know it's confusing; but that's how reincarnation works.
You never did any evil deed in your life, so you shall be rewarded, with a chance to be reincarnated.
So now you are here; inside the Reincarnation System.
Only I can choose where you shall be reincarnated at, not you.
I have already picked where you will be reincarnated."
Shin the tiny blue dragon says to me.
"You will be reincarnated into the Yulin Empire; a prosperous kingdom full of cultivators, and monsters."
Shin then I watched a long golden staff appear in his clawed hand, and he gently touched my shoulder with the orb of the staff that was blue and purple with swirling stars.
"Have a happy life Haven!"
He waves at me, and the floor under me caved in, and I scream, as my see through body, started falling down the sky at an immense speed, and through a building, that looked built in ancient China, and my see through body, went through a body of a person with waist length light brown hair, and wore a blue and gold hanfu, who had a wet cloth upon their forehead, and a woman was crying over the person.

I could hear her voice; as she sobbed.
"My poor Hanli; Li finally made you unable to carry on with life."

I saw darkness of eyelids; and I groan, me realizing I had a between high and low voice of a male, which shocked me, as I open my golden eyes, and look to my right, seeing the woman was sobbing, she had dark brown hair, and gray eyes, she had to of been in her early thirties, and once my eyes open, she gasped in shock.
"Hanli!
Thank the gods!
My baby boy!"

Baby boy?!
I thought to myself; me confused, but then I remember what Shin the blue dragon said, that I was given a second chance at life through reincarnation, so I was reborn as a boy.

I slowly sit up; the wet cloth fell onto the blanket over my waist as I look at her confused.
"Um....excuse me?
May I ask who you are?"
I ask her.

She sobbed again.
"My Hanli has amnesia!"

Hanli is my name here?
I thought to myself, me making a weird confused face.

"It's okay ma'am.
Even if I lost my memory; I'm still me."
I put a hand on her shoulder, and she immediately hugged me, and I instinctively hugged her back as she cried into my shoulder.

I rub her shoulders to try to attempt to calm her down, which seemed to work, as she says to me.
"I'm your mother Hana.
You are the illegitimate son of Lord Yun; who we serve as servants to, and his daughter tends to beat you, which last night I swore you died, but my baby boy I knew was strong, and lived."
She says to me as she pulled away from me, her wiping her eyes of tears, her smiling a warm smile at me.

"I'm fine mother."
I assure her.
"I might of hit my head too hard and received amnesia."

"I figured this would happen; curse those two!"
She mutters to me.

"I have a sister?
And who are those two?"
I ask her.

"Li and Churo are your siblings; who torment you because of your low birth.
Lord Yun ignores us quite a bit."
She says with a sad look to her face.
"If only we could leave here and live comfortably, but those two tend to steal the money I save up secretly."

"You do not need to worry mother; one day we will leave here."
I hugged her; me deciding to act as her son, though I'm literally a woman inhabiting her son's body.
She's my new mother; so I will treat her like she was my mother in my past life, and my mother in my past life was my best friend, and we did everything together, because of my sicknesses.
I assured her more as I tell her.
"We will get through this."

"I hope so."
She says to me; and she looked up at me, placing a hand upon my cheek, giving it a loving caress.
"If anything were to happen to my baby boy I would be devastated."

I place a hand upon hers upon my cheek; me leaning into her hand, and me smiling a warm gentle smile at her.
"Nothing will happen to me.
I'm here to stay mother."
I tell her this, and she hugged me once again, her arms wrapping around me.

"My miracle boy; that makes me so happy to hear this."
She then pulled away from me and asked me.
"Are you hungry?
I should still have some rice balls for you?"

Actually; now that I think about it, my stomach is a bit peckish, so I answer her.
"Yes; I'm hungry mother."

She stands up.
"You stay resting as I retrieve the rice balls."
She left out of a sliding door, and I sigh, my mind on this new life of mine.

Being in a boy's body was strange; and then it hit me, how the hell am I supposed to piss if I gotta go?
How do men go pee?
I never seen one go pee except in movies, and though I claim I have amnesia, his mother will surely figure out I lost the memory of learning how to pee properly, but which is totally embarrassing to say the least, and I don't really know how to put on these clothes I'm wearing, so she'll have to re-teach me too.

Oh great; I'll have to be taught how my body works as a boy, which won't be easy, since I was a girl in my past life.
I thought to myself, me dreading learning this stuff, especially learning how my weiner works, including how to pee with my weiner.

Mother came through the sliding door, and sat next to me, her holding a plate of rice balls, and a cup of green tea.
"Careful dear; the tea is hot."

I nod to her as I took the cup of tea and tell her.
"Mother; I forgot how my body works, especially when I need to urinate, so can you re-teach me?"
I sip my tea after I say that, after I blew on it, and to be honest the tea was delicious.

"Yes I can."
She says to me, and I was relieved that she would re-teach me how my body works, especially how to whizz.

And now that's over with, me telling her that, and her agreeing to re-teach me those things, she then says to me.
"Please do not be surprised that Li and Churo; after they learn you are alive, that they will try to harm you again, since they loathe you, and your father does not care to keep you safe."

I nod to her and tell her with a warm smile upon my face.
"Do not worry too much mother or you will get sick from worrying too much."

She nods.
"I cannot help but worry; but I know I can get sick if I do it too much."

"Can I ask why father does not want to help me when I'm hurt by my siblings?"
I ask her, me curious about the situation.

"It is because he never wanted you; but it was his fault you were born, since he couldn't keep his hands to himself."
She frowned at me, and I realized she was a victim in all this, that my father forced himself onto her, so I was a rape baby in this new life.

"Did he force himself onto you mother?"
I ask her and she nods.
"I'm sorry for asking and I will not bring it up anymore."

"I do not shun you my child.
I actually love you.
I would not ever abandon my baby boy."
She gave me a serious look, and I mean dead on serious look, and I knew she means her words entirely.

"Thank you mother."
I tell her and I took a bite of the second rice ball.

"As soon as you are done eating Hanli; we need to work on the laundry."
She tells me and I nod in understanding as my mouth was full.

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To be continued......