Incorrect Quotes that in my opinion fit gay angsty teenages. And why? Because they've been rotting in my brain while I'm doing school stuff. Also these may be in different days. Also this really isn't important to the whole fanfic so skip this if you'll like.

Jimmy: *looking through his clothes* "Has anyone seen my top?"
Sausage: "Scott's in the kitchen"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Lizzie: *currently gardening* "Hey, can you bring me the hoe?"
Grian: Yeah, sure.
*A few minutes later*
Grian: Here you go.
Lizzie: "......"
Joel: "Why am I here?"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Martyn: "Dom or sub?"
Pearl: "I guess Domino's, since I don't go to Subway that much. Don't see why you'd put them in the same category though."

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Shelby: "You know my motto. Carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe coles."
Gem: "Seize the day, seize the night, what's the last one?"
Sausage: "Seize the dick."

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Ren: "When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this..."
Martyn: *pulls out card from deck* "Now, was this your card?"
Ren: "Holy moly-"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Scar: *holding a toy lightsaber:* "I'm Darth Vader!"
Grian: "I'm done with everyone's bullshit.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

*Etho is cleaning the house and they find an empty bottle of orange juice*
Etho: "Clear orange juice?"
Etho: "Oh, it's empty."
Cleo: *who has been watching the entire time* "I'm friends with an idiot. I'm friends with an idiot. I'm friends with an idiot."

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Keralis: "It's impossible to make a sentence without using the letter A."
Xisuma: "Despite your thinking, it is quite possible, yet difficult, to form one without the specific letter. Here's one more to further disprove your theory."
Keralis: "Fuck you."

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Cleo: "Scott, Pearl, I love y'all and all, but can I ask what in the hell are you doing?"
Pearl: *trying to stabilize a tower of folding chairs that Scott is sitting atop* "Oh nothing much."
Scott: "I love you too"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Pearl: "Did you have to fight Etho?"
Gem: "You weren't there. You didn't hear what he said to me."
Pearl: "What did he say?"
Gem: " 'What are you going to do, fight me?' "
Pearl: "That's fair."

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

*Cleo is substitute for X*
Zed: "What did you say?"
Cleo: "I said, whoever threw that paper, your mom's a hoe!"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Tango: *running* "Slow down Imp, I can't ketchup!"
Impulse: *not slowing down* "You'll just have to use all the strength you can mustard."

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

xB: "Lol. Heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this."
Wels: "What did you do xB?"
xB: "A mistake."

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

*Boatem walking at the mall*
Scar: "Hey, have any of you guys seen Grian? They've been gone for a while.."
Impulse: "Eh, nope."
Mumbo: "No, I haven't..."
Pearl: "Probably ran off to McDonald's or something."
Grian: "Hey."
Scar: "Ooh, there you are-"
Impulse: "What the fu-"
Pearl: "I- where were you?!"
Grian: "Walking right next to you guys."

(*claps hands* Short Grian rights)

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Tango: "In my defense, I was left unsupervised."
Zed: "Wasn't Impulse with you?"
Impulse: "In my defense, I was also left unsupervised."

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Gem: "Why are your tongues purple"
Sausage: "We had slushies. I had a blue one."
Fwhip: "I had a red one."
Gem: "oh."
Gem: "OH."
Pearl: "......"
Pearl: "You drank eachothers slushies?"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Bdubs: "We need to distract these guys."
Scar: "Leave it to me."
Scar: "Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss."
Cleo & Etho: *immediately begin arguing*

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Doc: "Can you keep a secret?"
Hypno: Do you know anything about my life?"
Doc: "No, I don't. Good point."

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

JoeHills: *casually taking four stairs at a time*
Beef: *falling behind, taking two stairs at a time* "Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fu-"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Iskall: "Hand me the people opener."
Stress: "..."
Stress: "Pardon?"
Iskall: *annoyed* "The g! Just hand it to me!"
Stress: *stressed* "WHAT THE FUCK IS A PEOPLE OPENER?"
Iskall: "How do you not know what a people opener is? It's pointy- you know? With a handle?"
Stress: "Knife. It's called a knife."

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Pris: "You know, on second thought, Gum would be perfection."
El: *Gives them a strange look and hands them a piece of gum*
Pris: *Thinking* "Gum would be perfection. Gum would be perfection. I could have said gum would be nice, could have said I'll have a stick. But no no no no no, for me, gum is perfection. I loathe myself."

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Scott: "We're going to a candy store?!"
Cleo: "No! It's nighttime, candy stores are closed."
Pearl: "We're gonna ROB a candy store?!?!
"Cleo: *sighing* "No-"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Shelby: "I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine."
Katherine: "But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again."
Shelby: "O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??"
Katherine: "Is it working?"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

*Jimmy and Scott looking at a locked gate into a park*
Jimmy: "Aw."
Scott: "You know what they say."
Jimmy: "Please don't-"
Scott: "BE GAY DO CRIME! *hops gate*
Jimmy: Frick"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Gem: "Pearl is so..."
Scott: "Annoying?"
Shelby: "Cute?"
Sausage: "Funny?"
Joel: "Weird?"
Gem: "I don't know, maybe if y'all let me FINISH for ONCE IN MY LIFE, I'd tell you!"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Joe: "I love murder mysteries!"
Xornoth: *trying to impress him* "I've been a suspect in four murder cases."

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Joe: "How stupid do you think I am?!"
Shelby: "You really want an honest answer to that?"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Grian: "Valentine's day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-"
Scar: "I wrote you a poem."
Grian: *already crying* "You did?"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

                             SIMPS Chat                  
Fwhip Simp💚: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- (translation btw-I'M SORRY)
Pearl Simp🧡: What's that?
Fwhip Simp💚: Remorse code.
Pearl Simp🧡: I'm even angrier now.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Lyra: "You're a lying piece of shit!"
Zloy: "Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!"
Lyra: "I'm leaving and I'm taking Pix with me" Pix: *gathering cards* "Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today."

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Martyn: "Hey, do you know the password to Pearl's computer?"
Grian: "Fuck you, Martyn."
Martyn: "Hey!!"
Grian: "No, you misunderstood, the password is 'fuckyouMartyn'."
Martyn: "Oh, no numbers? Not very safe."

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Lizzie: "I love you brother."
Jimmy: *not paying attention* "What was that?"
Lizzie: "I said I'm selling you to the zOo-"

(Poor little canary)[I still refuse to believe Jimmy's curse is over]

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

W1 Scott: "I honestly feel like some of our conversations here are almost word-for-word accurate to an author."
Lauren: "Yup."
W1 Scott: "Maybe they're readers watching us."
Lauren: "Wouldn't that imply they would be reading this conversation?"
W1 Scott: "Wait—"

(Don't worry they are no longer aware. A baseball bat was very helpful :])

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

X: "EX, no."
EX: "EX, yes."

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Owen: "Hey, you wanna know a secret?"
Scott: "No."
Owen: "Okay."
Scott: "Do you smell smoke?"
Owen: "The secret is that the house is on fire."

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

False: "So, what is Scott and Sausage to you?"
Pix: "The reason I wake up every morning."
False: "...That's adorable."
Scott and Sausage earlier that morning, barging into Pix′s room, smacking pans together: "WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Oli: "If I say yes am I joining a cult?"
Fwhip: "Possibly."
Oli: "I'm in."

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

*Shelby skipping rocks on a lake with Pris*
Pris: "It's such a beautiful evening."
Shelby: "Yeah, it is."
Shelby: *whispering* "Take that you fucking lake"

(Dw Shelby was just a bit mad that day)

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Both Scott's: "Firstly, how dare you two use mathematics to make us look stupid!"
Bertha and Fwhip: "...."
Both Scott's: "We're actually very good at mathematics."
Bertha and Fwhip: "...."
Both Scott's: "Thirdly, we think you two might be right"
Bertha and Fwhip: "We know"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Stress: "My only talent is being stress and Stress."
False: "Don't you mean stressed?"
Stress: "No."

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Shelby: "I woke up and chose VIOLENCE. I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!! I AM ANGRY-"
Katherine: "Awwww, you're so adorable! Give me a hug"
Shelby: "Wh-What? nO, yOURE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH-"
Sausage: *recording* "This is so cute."

(I think this was meant to be, if Shelby heard the voices of the sculk talking with her. Or something)

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Joey: "You disgust me."
Tiff: *eating a kitkat sideways* "I realize this and don't care."

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

(Past Scarian)

Scar: So, what's Grian's type?
Lizzie: "Green eyes, kind, oblivious, obsessed with Star Wars, cat lover."
Scar: "Sounds kind of like me. Too bad we're just friends."
Lizzie: "Did I mention oblivious?"
Scar: "Yeah, why?"
Lizzie: "Okay, just making sure"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

TFC: "Oh, hi there little miss Jellie! What brings you here?"
Jellie: "Mrow!"
TFC: "Are you ready for some dinner? What would you like? Some jelly?"
Jellie: "Mrrow!"
TFC: "We'll get you some jelly! What else?"
Jellie: "Meowww!"
TFC: *picking her up* "Some chicken? All the chicken? Does that sound so yummy to you?"
Jellie: "Mew..."
TFC: "Are you starving?"
Jellie: "Mew!"
TFC: "You are? Would you like some chicken to eat?"
Jellie: "Mrrr..."
TFC: "Okay, we'll get you some jelly and some chicken and some milk, okay? Just like Scar used to give you!"
Jellie: "Mrow!"
TFC: "You're welcome"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Scar: *SCREAMS*
Mumbo: *running in* "What's wrong, who's hurt?!"
Scar: *ashamed* "...A bird flew into the window."
Mumbo: "..."
Scar: "..."
Pearl: *flying in* "IMPULSE JUST TOLD ME GRIAN FLEW INTO THE WINDOW WHERE IS HE I GOTTA TAKE PICTURES"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Grian: "Scar, what are you doing?"
Scar: "Putting milk and cookies out for Santa!"
Grian: "..."
Mumbo: "..."
Impulse: "..."
Impulse: "I'm gonna tell him."
Pearl: "Don't you dare!"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Gem: "If corals get stressed they die, so if I was a coral I would be dead."
Pearl: "What do corals even get stressed about?"
Gem: "Current events"
Pearl: "I sea."
Cleo: "Both of you get out"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Cub: "Hey X, what made you let Grian and Pearl join?"
Xisuma: "Mumbo and Cleo found them wandering a Tesco parking lot at three am and begged us to let us keep them."

(They were just running away from home bc why not)

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Zedaph: *running* "Tango! Tango, please! It's me, I'm just wearing a turkey costume! PUT THE SWORD DOWN!"
Tango: *chasing him* "RESISTANCE IS FUTILE, TURKEY MAN!"
Cub: "What's going on?"
Xisuma: *watching* "Just a regular American Thanksgiving on the with the hermits."
Cub: "Are you going to stop them?"
Xisuma: *sipping his Kool-Aid* "Nope."

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Impulse: *holding a rat* "So I just put them on my head?"
Scott: "And make sure to wear a blindfold
Impulse: "Blindfold?"
Gem: "And then the rat will cook for you"
Impulse: *concerned, with a rat on his head* "And this works?"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Xisuma *running away* "WE ARE NOT LETTING ANY NEW HERMITS JOIN!"
Basically everyone single Life Series Hermit: *chasing him* "SKIZZ! SKIZZ! SKIZZ!"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Gem: "Pearl, what are you doing?"
Pearl: "Making chocolate pudding."
Gem: "It's four o'clock in the morning. Why are you making chocolate pudding?"
Pearl: "Because I've lost control of my life."

(Honestly I wanna pull a Pearl and go make chocolate pudding one day at 4 o'clock)

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Cub: "Okay, so, just to be clear—you overheard a bunch of Girl Scouts talking about who their favorite superheroes were."
Scar: "Uh-huh."
Cub: "And one of them said Hotguy was the coolest."
Scar: "True!!"
Cub: "So you bought their entire stock of cookies?"
Scar: *inside a fort made from boxes of Scout cookies* "We have to encourage the youth."

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Gem: *saying to Pearl and Impulse, lying facedown on her bed, regretting everything* "And then I called him Dad"
Doc: *saying to Ren, trying not to cry* "And then she called me Dad"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Gem: *saying to Shelby* "No offense, you know you're my best friend and I love you, but let's face it. You're sometimes a nightmare."
Shelby: "Eh. Fair point"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Ren: "Quick, give me your knife!"
Stress: "My what?"
Ren: "Your knife. Don't you carry one in your purse?"
Stress: "Have you ever met a woman before?"
flashbacks
Ren: "Hey, do you have a knife in your purse?"
Cleo: "Of course, I'm not an animal."

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Keralis: "What are your three best qualities?"
Ren: "I'm hot, I have soft hair, and sometimes I cry because I love my friends."

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

(Past SIMPS+Scar)

Gem: *singing* I don't want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need—
Joel: "A family."
Scott and Shelby: "A better love life."
Sausage: "Mental stability."
Scar: *clueless* "Bagels?"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Pearl: "I'd like to remind you that Grian has international political immunity."
Taurtis: "The hell you mean by that????"
Pearl: "No reason. Just saying. In case we all forgot."

(Somehow Taurtis is here...I don't know how)

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Cleo: "Hey, do any of you know how to pick a lock?"
Iskall: "Stress does."
Cleo: "....Stress."
Iskall: "Yeah, she's pretty good with chemicals and explosives too actually. Apparently she had a rebellious phase during middle school."
Cleo: "That is terrifying information, thank you!" *runs off to find Stress*

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Jimmy and Lizzie: "Wait, where's Grian?"
Pearl and Martyn: "He's small, he's probably under something."
Grian: *inside the top cabinets* "I'M NOT SMALL!!!!!

(Again short Grian rights)

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

                       HERMITCRAFT

Bush Boi: Send dudes.
Washed Up: Do...Do you mean nudes?
Bush Boi: I'm in a fight, I need people.
Stressed Off: YOU'RE IN A WHAT?!
Birdie Boy: I'll be there in five minutes Bdubs.
——————
Out Of Chat
Grian: "Pearl! Get your baseball bat we are going to help Bdubs!"
Pearl: "ON IT!"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Scott: "I could cuddle with you 23/7."
Jimmy: "Why not 24/7?"
Scott: "Snack breaks."
Jimmy: "Fair enough."

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Ren, Martyn, and Pearl: "CROAK THE FROG! PET THE DOG! BURN THE LOG!"
BigB: "Guys our soulmates are officially insane"
Scott: "Pearl always been insane"
Cleo: "I would expect this from Pearl tho not Martyn or Ren"
Ren, Martyn, and Pearl: "CROAK THE FROG! PET THE DOG! BURN THE LOG!"
Scar: "OOOOOOH! A cult! I wanna join *Scar ran over to them and joined them*
Grian: "Fu- SCAR NOOOOOOO!"

(I actually made this one because I needed the Broken Hearts Club)[Also how was my first incorrect quote btw]

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Katherine: "I am going to need you to swear-"
Joe: "Fuck."
Katherine: "....."
Katherine: "...swear as in promise."

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

W1 Cleo: "Ooh, somebody has a crush"
Pris: "Pfft, I don't have a crush on El I just think they're cool, it's not like I stay up at night thinking about them."
Later that night
Pris: *very much awake* "Uh oh."

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Grian: "So Pearl how did you tell the hermits about yours and Gem's relationship?"
Pearl: "Ummmmm well you see"
flashbacks
Pearl: "Gem and I are no longer friends."
Gem: "PEARL THAT IS THE WORST WAY TO TELL PEOPLE THAT WE'RE DATING!"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Skizz: "Tango, you need to calm down."
Tango: *slamming their fists on the table* "BUT HOW CAN IT BE "BIRTHDAY CAKE" FLAVOR IF A BIRTHDAY CAKE CAN BE ANY FLAVOR?!"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Cub: *referring to Scar and Grian* "Those guys can be dorks."
Mumbo: "Yes, but they're my dorks"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Joey: "Okay, if we can't do it by sheer force, we'll do it my way."
Lauren: "But your way is sheer force!"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Grian: "Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?"
Mumbo: "You're a hazard to society."
Scar: "And a coward. DO TWENTY."

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Pearl: "So, did everyone learn their lesson?"
Grian: "No."
Martyn: "I did not."
Jimmy: "I may have actually forgotten one."
Lizzie: "Also no."
Pearl: "Oh good, neither did I."
Xisuma: *exhausted sigh*

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Wels: "Dang, I need a haircut."
Jevin: "I could do it"
Wels: "You can cut hair?"
Jevin: "Yeah, I cut Hypno's all the time!"
Hypno: "Wait, when do you cut my hair?"
Jevin: "You take a lot of naps."

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Author's Note: 5 Little Ducks, 4 Little Ducks, 3 Little Ducks, 2 Little Ducks, 1 Little Duck

And then they all died

My brain is quite something...

Also I found these incorrect quotes from Tumblr I don't remember the people tho. And I promise I'm working on an actual chapter I have an idea. Courtesy to my school brain thinking of random shit