Nakarugi's past - June 3rd, evening.

Nakarugi's POV:

why?

why did this be the ending I was fated to?

*****

[ Trigger Warning ]

I took a refreshing shower, the pain all fading away along with the regret of not protecting him when I could have. The cold yet warm water, washed over me, as my body filled with pain. The blood and the wounds felt like it reopened again.

I flinched, as I doubled down due to fatigue. My body had sustained too many burdens to keep up with this. I started seeing a blurred sight from my eyes.

I clasped them shut and when I opened them, I felt as though a part of me started to fall apart.

Ignoring that, I walked downstairs, and took the towel Tomura left for me and tied it around my waist, the cold air making shivers run up my feet all the way to my chest as I sneezed.

After a few moments of silence, I saw the dusk of the day approaching.

but that wasn't the only thing ending...

Tomura left, leaving me alone as I sneezed again.

" Right. Clothes." I suddenly got a lot more intelligent by acknowledging this.

I changed into my casual wear, threw a shirt on my bare skin as I noticed a sudden interest in the letter that was sitting on the desk.

When did I ever sense the need to look at a letter?

I opened it, sliding the piece of paper inside out as I put aside the cover.

*****

IM SUCH AN INSOLENT BASTARD!

I ran outside, sliding across the door as I broke a few things. But I didn't give a damn then.

I had to get to him.

Dear Matsuki,

I don't know if you agree with this but.
I hate this world for all it is. I love the world for all it is. I was bullied, I was loved. I was killed, I was raised. I was treated as scum, I was treated as a prince. I loved people, I despised them.

I drastically looked around for my bike but it was missing.

GODDAMMIT!

WHY!? Tomura, why?

I pulled at my hair in frustration as I decided that by foot was the only option right then.

I sprinted as fast as my legs could carry me as I pulled out my phone and called him.

"......" The line started to beep in and out. " The caller you are trying to reach, is out of the service area. Please try again, la-" I cut the automated response. I rushed my brain through thoughts as to where he might be as I kept running. My legs started to give up on me.

Don't get mad at me. But I have no other choice. They told me to go jump off a bridge. And I'm going to. At least this time, I do it for a reason. Now that I think about death, I'm actually trembling.
Funny right? I thought death would never be this scary.
I'm trembling right now.
But, that's what is necessary to protect you. They told me you'd be free from fighting if I'm gone. I guess a life as worthless as mine for yours is a pretty good trade, right?

IT'S NOT YOU IDIOT! I CAN FIGHT AS LONG AS YOU'RE HERE! I CAN HEAL WITH A GOOD MEDICATION!!

I tried to connect the dots in my mind while I was on the run.

They told me to go jump off a bridge.

" A bridge. I remember him taking his phone with him. So he MUST have it with him." It was a big assumption but guesses are all I had time for then.

The signal should be unavailable near him. I wrangled with my wits to pinpoint which bridge he was in. There were only two in the vicinity and since he was not a very athletic person, it should be the one nearest. I ran even faster since if my instincts were correct, he would have reached it by now.

My legs started to buckle, as I crashed into the pavement and I began to lose my balance and I collapsed onto a railing.

Groaning and confirming that wounds reopened, I got back on my feet and fell again.

And I got back up and started to run again.

I ignored every single sense of mine and ran as if my life depended on it. Which couldn't be more true. He was the only reason I still breathe. The reason I started to smile again. Started to live again.

I don't want that to be undone....

please don't take away the cause of my living.....

RUN FASTER!

But hey, no pain no gain, right? Now what I think about it, you loved to fight, right? After I'm gone, please don't fight any more. I don't wish to see you hurt anymore.
Please don't fight.
And you know how you always said you wanted someone to love? I wish you find her....or him....yeah. but one thing. Don't let that person go. No matter what.
Fight for the ones you love, unlike what I did. Letting them fight for me.
And one last thing. Don't look for me, my friend. It's not worth your time. I thank you for everything you did for me. I truly do.

-Love, Tomura Kitsuo

(A/N: The kanji for Love Kistuo used was the one for aishteru. The highest form one could use for love.)

RUN!!!

I saw him then. On top of the railing, his legs dangling off the edge. Ready to jump.

His face, almost smiling........

*****

Third Person POV:

He truly thought that his death was his friend's freedom.

From the bottom of his heart.

But in reality, it was just him trying to find a way as an excuse to end his cruel life. Lively as though it was, he was a weak person, by his thoughts.

But that wasn't true as well. He did well, keeping good at holding in all that pain, all this time. He embraced it, while painting a face of a smiling facade on himself. He was trembling.

He wondered if there would be a hell for him. Or just plain death.

But rather, he was worried if he would hurt anyone permanently. And so, he wished Nakarugi Matsuki would forget him once and for all after this.

For his own good......

He looked at the sky for a while and decided he would just get on with it and get it done.

He smiled, half hearted as he realised they might just leave him alone after all this blows off and the dust settles.

Meanwhile, Matsuki had just reached the bridge as he saw him get up.

*****

" TOMURA!" Nakarugi Matsuki yelled, desperate to reach out to a friend who suffered because of him not knowing what he goes through.

He could have fought for him if he had known it before.

But he didn't. He caused all this. He was the culprit of the crime here.

He caused this.

But, it reached him.

Halfway out the railing, Tomura Kitsuo looked back, seeing the one person he held precious to him calling to him.

He suffered longer than anyone he knew.

He didn't know that yet.

His family threw him away as garbage. They isolated him ever since they learnt of him being a homosexual. They treated him as someone they didn't know. A stranger to people he knew since he let his first cry out.

He had glimpses of his parents looked at him with disgust, lamenting his very existence.

What about the love they felt towards him before?

Was it all a lie?

A part of a drama soap?

His family name was the only other thing he had of his life. The only thing that will show he was living.

Not for much longer though.....

The balance was displaced.

The balance was displaced right as he realised he wanted to live a bit longer.

But reality isn't a movie.

This wasn't a cliché where they get back by the damned will of trying to stay alive.

His leg went off the edge as he thrust out his hands, to grasp another chance at life.

The world started to lose is colour....

The whole place started to elongate.

The moment was frozen in time for a few moments for Matsuki.

He had to watch as he painfully has to witness Tomura's eyes shaking in fear. A tear starting to tear apart.

A soul about to do the same....

He felt his heart tear apart. He wished he was dead. So this wouldn't have happened.

He was trying his best to clutch his hand in his, to save him.

But he was too late....

He started to fall.

Nakarugi Matsuki witnessed all this in sheer horror as his feet turned to lead.

His heart to stone.

His mind turned to rock and his soul to obsidian.

Cold and useless........

He was useless to help him. To stop him.........

He stumbled to his feet; All of this had been an illusion he forced himself to believe but part of his maddened mind said it wasn't, adding to this nightmare.

He screamed so loud, that it sent a roar as to mask the pain beforehand.

" TOMURA!!!!!"

" Why is this happening....?" Tomura though to himself, as the world started to tilt to the side.

He didn't want this. He wanted to live a life.

He wanted one last chance, seeing the agony resonated in his face.

*****

Tomura's POV:

Why am I falling?

I wanted to live...

I wanted to love.

I felt the roar of the air in my body as I fell through the bridge and into the water.

" Guess I'll never be able to tell you what I feel about you, Matsu....."

I felt the impact of my body crashing into the river below as I started to feel cold and while it felt like shattering against ice, I didn't feel anything at the same time.

Was this a bad time to realise I can't swim?

I felt as I struggled to cope up with the fact that I was drowning fast and tried to paddle my way onto the surface. But it was in vain.

The more I struggled against the vicious surface, the more I sank.

I guess....

this is the end......

*****

Nakarugi's POV:

I threw myself off the bridge with every last ounce of energy I had as I started to feel the roar of the air in my ears as I dived into the water below.

I had quickly dialed the medic before jumping and sent a SOS call for precautions.

As I came in contact with the water, I felt a thousand needles hitting my body as I cried out in pain, almost losing all of the oxygen I bundled up in my lungs.

But it was harder for him. He couldn't swim for his life.

DAMMIT!

FASTER!

please. save him.......

someone.....

I swam deeper, trying to find a figure but it was too dark.

This was the worst time to be looking underwater.

But soon, as I swam in with the decreasing depth, I sensed a arm hooking onto mine as I pulled it.

But it was too hard. He was flailing under me.

He was drowning......

He was losing time....

Losing breath.....

I didn't give a damn about the pain and tried my best as he started to choke.

I kicked, my lungs nearly bursting from approaching it's limit twice.

We broke surface with him in my arms.

But he wasn't moving.

I ran to the ground as the ambulance still took it's sweet time to arrive.

I ripped open his shirt, not caring a damn in the slightest for impressions if someone barged in and cupped my hand over his chest, right over his ribs.

I applied pressure, hopelessly pleading he was just suffocating and that the water had somehow found a way to his lungs.

I put my mouth over his and sent a puff of air into his air tract and applied pressure again, trying my level best to apply CPR.

" Come on!"

" Breathe!" Again.

And again.

And again.

I continued to do so, until all of his breath had run out and he collapsed backwards on the ground, hearing the sharp sirens of the ambulance, tears in my eyes and panic run all over my heart.

They opened the doors as I picked him up.

I clutched him in my arms, carrying him onto the stretchers which were already ready.

I slowly kept him on the bed they had as they closed the doors.

The lock of the hinges talking to me as if they closed the gates between us......

The only things my ears picked up were the muffled humming of the defibrillator.

Water still rolled off my eyes as I buckled on my knees and gave way to the exhaustion I was in store for.

I started to laugh.

He's....dead....

He was finally...free.

He also got a ticket to be with my mother.

Haha...

How lucky are you, Tomura?

now it's just me.

COME BACK.

COME BACK.....PLEASE.

COME BACK, GODDAMMIT.

COME BACK!!

*****

Third Person POV:

The doors opened.

After what seemed like the longest wait of his life, the medic came out of the vehicle as he unhooked the strap of his mask, his assistant taking down notes on his pad.

He didn't talk. He didn't know what to ask. He was restless.

His body still hurt from the fatigue he got after he sprinted a quarter part of the neighborhood and deep dived, pulled up someone and had time to perform CPR.

He welded a thought he would cry and hug him all he wants until he's fixed from now....

Yet, he looked at the medic with pleading eyes.

" We're sorry, Sir."

The air seemed to explode in a sea of tears. Thunder clapped overhead, discolouring the harsh reality of this world.

" We couldn't save him."

Tomura had died of suffocating in water. From drowning.

But it wasn't suicide.

It was homicide. Cold blooded murder.

Matsuki didn't hear anything for a moment.

The sound of his heart, the sound of thunder, the sound of the sirens, the voice of the doctor, the sound of rain....

All seemed distant to him.

He killed him...

His ignorance killed him.

His pride killed him.

Him being weak killed him.

His fighting manners killed him.

His life killed him.

Him becoming his friend killed him.

Him meeting him killed him.

But.

He died. So that his friend could live a good life.

And he wasn't throwing that away that easily, to respect his wishes, when he finally collected his thoughts.

As much as he'd like to join him......

A life isn't that worthless. Just living would make us indebted to life.

We can't even think about repaying that debt. We just can't.

EVER.

A million dollars won't clear it.

A mountain of gold won't do the trick.

The best we can do is live a good life, hoping to not waste this priceless gift.

This book of utter solace, filled with pages of anguish and silence.

With an end, nevertheless.

He decided to live a happy life. No matter how it turned out.

He would keep smiling.

" Excuse me" The medic's words cracked his thoughts and brought him back from the underworld.

" Who is he to you? Can I have his name? Do you know who he is? I know this is hard but please help us. Take your time."

Silence followed the next few moments.

" His name....?"

*****

Nakarugi's POV:

He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve that name.

A family who let him go this far. He isn't worth them.

Rather, they aren't worth him.

He didn't deserve that family name.

" Tomura." I said, finally.

" Nakarugi Tomura" I spoke up.

" My younger brother."

I would make him proud. I will mourn him. Yet not waste this life.

I made a silent vow to myself to not let any of my friends share his fate.

No matter the lengths I need to go to.

No matter what.....

I will protect them.

The ones I love.

The ones who stray.....

For the ones who left so I could live better.

I took an oath that day.

To help others see their lives.

Be the bridges they need.

Nothing more than a choice. The decision would be theirs. And I would stand by them.

*****

Third Person POV:

A few months later, in August, he visited the grave of his family.

His brother and his mother.

A family he loved.

He sighed, feeling the cold air in Summer.

" I'm living a quite good life, you two. But don't expect me to come anytime soon. I'm living to a ripe old age. I've found a good friend. It's the one you told me, Tomura." He placed a bunch of flowers on both their graves.

" Chris Canner"

*****

About half a year later,

" Still the same. But I'm guessing it's a bit sad here. Two more of my friends are gone. But don't worry. I'm still kinda smiling."

He placed a bunch of flowers as usual, replacing the ones that never seemed to wilt.

" I will miss her though. She was an Angel. Haruka Matoka. Like you mom."

He looked back.

" I'm coming dear! I'll visit you in a sec."

The people around him thought he was nuts.

Of course they did....

Mr.Pitied

" Yeah... That's her. See that grave there? She moved in recently. She a bit shy so be good to her, eh?"

And about a year since his first visit to Tomura Kitsuo's grave,

" So...Chris came back from prison. He is just standing there, and that's creepy. Mourning his loss. I'm here, like a creep, which is even more so. What should I do, now?"

He placed a bunch of flowers, as usual.

A small gust of wind blew across his face.

" Keep my promise? Good idea. A bit bland though. Don't lose your humor guys.... "

He grinned at the pictures of his old family and walked upto his friend and helped him. For all the times he couldn't.

He WON'T fail this time.

The Beginning Of A Trail

*****

So..... that's the end of this side story. I hope this justifies how it all happened and why it ended this way.

I wish it went the way I planned.

Anyways, I hope this was good enough for you guys!

Until the next side story, if there will be one, BYUH!

-Mythic