Writing this because I am sick of FFs and the actual episodes just using the female officers as pretty much an eye candy or just putting them "musibat mein" as if they are a bunch of Nobita's. They are CID officers and I believe they wouldn't be inept at handling fuddu threats aur unki yeh abilities sirf women's day ke episodes mein nahi bahaar niklengi. 

Ok rant over.

*

It was another one of Chitrole's parties to celebrate his apparent success in leading his teams to victory in every case.

And as usual, it was pretty much filled with sloppy and douche-looking rich businessmen and most probably corrupt officials. 

The guys were mainly in dress-up shirts and the ladies wore dresses and the like.

"Hi Kavin, you look like shit," greeted Purvi, with a polite nod of her head.

"Hi Purvi, you...look like hell," retorted Kavin, just as sweetly.

Aww

"Yeah I was up all night. All because of you," she whined, only half joking, making everybody turn their heads towards them, their faces contorting into grins at the unintended insinuation, making her backpedal. 

"I m-meant because of all the files that I had to complete because of the unrealistic deadline set by this guy. Mai abhi bhi sirf aadha kaam hi kar paayi hu fyi kyunki itna saara tha."

"Well don't worry, you'll be able to sleep tonight. I've completed the second half of the assignment ehehe. I also know you were just whining to check if I had. You're welcome." Kavin smiled at her cutely.

"Kavin you're a bitch; but a good one. So thank you," she flirted..? and rose up on her toes to give him a polite kiss on his cheek while the bitch statement was being agreed upon by Dushyant who was soon to receive a punch by Kavin.

 "You're a little shit but I guess my shit is important to me," he flirted back..?

*

"Kv, you're staring. Aur thoda karega toh shaayad bechaari ki khopdi jal jaayegi," Dushyant broke through Kavin's gaze on Purvi, who was currently dancing the night away with a few other team members, stealing occasional glances at him.

"Kya kisi ne 'khopdi' bola?" Salunkhe broke in, making the other two jump in surprise.

"Geez, you're a creepy old man, doctor."

"Well Kavin, with the way you've been staring at her all night, you're no different. Admit it, we are both the same," Salunkhe told Kavin with a creepy smile, making him half-horrified and hald-offended at the comparison. 

"Come on man, does everybody know? How obvious am I?"

"Yusss. You two are like annoying teenagers jo fudduon jaise harkatein karke bhi kuchh nahi samajhte," Daya and Abhijeet yelled to them from the far end of the bar table to get their voices to be heard over the loud music. 

"Yeah Kavin, your constant flirt-fighting is very distracting, I must say," added the ACP as he came by to sit with them. 

When Dushyant saw what he thought was the beginning of a legit pout on Kavin's face, he quickly added, "well maybe not everyone knows...th-the guard by the gate might not-"

As the group turned towards the guard on the ground floor through the window and saw him winking to Kavin and suggestively mouthing 'Purvi', that last hope at dignity was also outta the window. Literally. 

"Seriously, Kv, talk to her."

"Oh no I'll wait for a few years, until she gets almost engaged to someone as per her family's wishes, hope that the guy turns out to be a criminal, save him from literal death and then propose to her on her engagement day, and then date her while giving a junior some unsolicited dating advice," Kavin threw back with heavy sarcasm, making the team laugh at the insinuation towards Daya.

Their laughter was broken by the sound of a glass being smashed on a guy's head and Purvi swinging her legs across his neck to bring him to the ground, using a thigh death grip to deprive him of any, and all, oxygen.  

She had been politely prying off his attempts on her for an hour now and when she felt his hands grace her back, she didn't hesitate to pull all the stops and show the douche how to pick up a person. Literally. 

The team didn't interfere as they had seen the ladies defend themselves against people like him before as well, and didn't doubt their capabilities. They'll keep lounging on the couch, eating away, until she calls for help, which they knew most probably wouldn't happen; and they'll be found placing bets, on whether Kavin is proud or horny at this moment, with almost the whole team divided into halves (excluding the ACP and Salunkhe because bets were "childish" and their "mango fruity waits") , sitting literally a foot behind him.

As she got up from the guy, fixing her dress and giving everybody the 'don't mess with me' look of hers, the other people stopped gawking and went back to whatever insignificant it was that they were doing before and the DJ attempted to start the music again which had been stopped during the commotion, but stopped in his tracks again when they heard a stupid guy whisper to his friends in the eerily silent room.

"Itni kamar dikhaayengi toh ladkon ko toh signal milega hi," he said as he laughed away, ignoring the infamous 'murder strut' of Purvi as the team liked to call it....Aaand then he erupted into a cry of pain as he received a punch to the face. 

The sound of his tooth falling to the ground was satisfying, to say the least, and the team watched on, with snacks in hand and bets in place.

"Itne daant dikhaaoge toh mujhe toh todne ka signal milega hi," Purvi wiped the blood away from her hand as the team erupted into cheers and applause while still watching Kavin for his reaction so they could decide the winner of the bet. 

"Oh it's definitely both," Kavin growled as he walked towards Purvi, "she is so not going to sleep tonight."

*

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"If she's asking for it, she can just ask for it."

                                                            -Vir Das, 2018