I sat in my dinning room until a car parked on the front curb. The horn honked twice to let me know that it was the drugs. Three knocks on the door. My hand swung it open. "You got it?"

"Yeah." A skinny blonde guy stepped inside and unzipped a gym bag. "Now caffeine pills are the real deal and can cause an overdose, drinking cups of coffee no matter how many a day doesn't hold the lethal amounts these do."

It's like he read my mind. I took the bottle and handed him fifty bucks and pushed him out and slammed the door. "Okay, yeah thanks." On the couch I sat on my knees and placed five pills in my palm. "Now, this is the moment I want let's do this!! Fuck life and everything about it, fuck having fleeting happiness. There's no good in this world anymore."

The sun beamed inside on the carpet and dust rose high in the air, twinkling like diamonds. Traffic stopped outside and an eerie silence filled the small apartment. I hopped down and filled a glass up with water by the kitchen sink. I hope this kills me. Please, there's not a person more willing and ready to die than me. God, if you even exist...listen to me and end me. End it all. I need to see my baby again.

The pills met my tongue and tasted heavily of coffee but it wasn't like drinking a cup, it was way stronger, bitter like battery acid. I looked out the window one last time. The cup raised to my mouth. Seconds later I washed down the poison tablets and smiled at the rush of panic and impending doom that came over me.