Mon-els pov

"So, have you been noticing any recent symptoms?" Alex ask, as she begins to place two EEG scanners on  my temple.

This is my first time meeting up with Alex since I've taken the remedy that Barry has given me. J'onn thought it would be best if I had checkups with Alex at least twice a week to make sure everything was working as it should...that is if this works at all.

"I've been getting these headaches, but they've been kinda on and off" I reply, as she begins to removes both scanners from the sides of my head.

"Okay, well the scans haven't shown any changes, so I guess you're good to go"

"Okay, well I guess I'll see you again Thursday" I state, smiling softly at Alex, as I move towards the door.

"Mon-el wait!" Alex says abruptly, causing me to turn back around to face her. "What's going on between you and Kara?" Alex questions.

"Nothing...I'm just giving her some space" I remark truthfully, hoping that Alex will just let this slide...but she doesn't.

"She hasn't stepped foot in your dorm for three days! And you even stopped volunteering to help her out on missions!" Alex remarks, 'well I guess she observed the awkward tension between me and Kara' I think to myself before sighing softly.

"Things have been...different since we came back from Earth-1...and it's all my fault" I whisper rather to myself than Alex, causing her to call me back onto the bed that I was previously sitting on. "I told her I had feelings for her" I state smoothly, taking in Alex's bewildered reaction. "On daxam emotions practically didn't exist...we'd numb our selves of anything emotional, and just go on with our day...but I guess things work differently here on Earth...and if I'm being honest with myself these feelings are terrifying, and while I'm try to figure them all out, she keeps pushing me away"

Alex sighs softly as she moves to sit next to me. "That's what she does, when things get too overwhelming or uncomfortable with someone she cares about...she does what she thinks is best gives them space" Alex says nonchalantly. "But what she doesn't know is that often times we don't need space...we just need someone to talk too" Alex adds as she turns her gaze towards me.

"I can't risk making things worse Alex"  I retort, keeping my eyes trained on the floor.

"She doesn't blame you Mon-el, she's just scared!" Alex states.

"Of my feelings for her?" I ask, now turning my gaze to Alex.

"Of her feelings for you....when you came back with your memories gone, something inside of her just shut off...she's already spent seven months in hell...but this" Alex stops to point between me and the EEG scanners lying on the mattress "this shattered her"

"...she doesn't deserve any of this" I mumble softly, trying to keep my tears at bay.

"No...no she doesn't" Alex says shaking her hand in agreement, " but when she put on that cape she knew her life wouldn't be as simple as it once was, but that didn't matter to her...what mattered was that she wanted to help make the world a better place...even if that meant that sacrificing her happiness...that's just who she is...she has the biggest heart when it comes to others, but when it comes to her..."

"She doesn't treat herself with the same compassion" I say finishing her statement.

In the month that I've been back I've already noticed how Kara is always quick to apologize for things she shouldn't even be sorry about, and they way she victimizes herself in any situation where someone gets there feelings hurt.

"Yeah" Alex mummers  softly. If Kara's quick to judge herself for little things, than I can't even imagine what she's possibly feeling right now.

"I need to see her" I say, as I move to get up yet again.

"Mon-el" Alex mumbles as I near the door, causing me to turn back around. "Be patient with her" Alex says, her gaze softening a-bit as she speaks.

"Always"

*****

'What if this was a bad idea?' I think to myself as I pace outside of Kara's loft. 'What if she doesn't wanna see me?' I question as I turn my glance to the stairs, desperately wanting to return to the DEO. 'The least I could do is make sure she okay' I think again as I turn my gaze back to the door, than take my hands out my pockets, and knock.

"Hi!" Kara says opening the door with a surprised expression, although there's a bright smile on her face that makes me forget why I was so nervous in the first place.

"Hi" I reply back softly, Kara than moves to the side to let me in.

"What-what brings you by?" Kara questions, as she makes her way to the couch.

"Um, I was actually hoping that I could talk to you" I reply, as I also make my way to the couch.

"Yeah of course, is everything okay?" Kara ask as she shuts off the tv, and focuses her attention on me.

"Yeah everything's-everything's fine" I remark letting out a nervous chuckle. "I just...I missed hanging out with you" Although that wasn't what I intended on saying, it was the truth. Ever since we got back from Earth-1 Kara's kept her distance from me, and I completely understand why...but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

"...I'm sorry-" Kara starts.

"Don't" I say, cutting her off gently.

Kara sighs softly before speaking "I know I've been distant from you lately...and I swear it has absolutely nothing to do with what happened on Earth-1" Kara says, eyes locked on her hands which were placed on her lap. 'Wait if I'm not the reason she's been distancing herself from me than what is?' I ask myself, before Kara begins to speak again, eyes still trained on her lock hands. "I just needed time to process everything I needed time to process us" Kara adds, as she hesitantly glances up at me, but quickly brings her gaze back down to her lap, she than takes my silence as a sign to continue. "When-you uh...when you came back I thought there was no possible way that I could ever end up being in a relationship with you again because...you didn't know me anymore and I barely knew you...well not the new you anyways....but um after spending more time with you my reason became I couldn't possibly be with you because you weren't the same man I feel in love with" Kara says still locking her gaze away from mine...and I'm glad she is, because that means she's currently unable to see the hurt expression on my face. "...but regardless of that I still found myself...having feelings for you" Kara adds, finally mustering up the courage to look at me...After all this time I thought she was trying to let me down slowly, but it turns it she's been ignoring because she has feelings for me?..."And that terrified me...because I didn't wanna fall in love with you unless you were-"

"Your Mon-el" I state softly, causing Kara to slowly nod, as a tear rolls down her cheek, but she quickly wipes it away.

"...yeah" Kara confirms , her voice trembling softly as she continues, "what if it doesn't work?" Kara ask, questioning the solution I was given a week ago, with a few more tears beginning to fall down her  ravishing face...how I desperately want to wipe them away, but I don't think I'd be doing her any favors if I did.

"If this doesn't work than...we'll find something else...we'll-we'll figure something out" I state trying my best to reassure her.

"And what if nothing else works?!" Kara exclaims, frustration very present in her tone.

"...lets just take this day by day, okay?" I ask, as I absentmindedly place my hand on her knee.

After taking a deep breath and wiping her tears away Kara nods, causing my lips to curve into a small smile.

*****

Minutes go by and neither of us dare to say a word. Kara has yet again moved her gaze from mine, looking at everything but me...but as for me I can't seem to look at anything but her.

I still can't grasp my mind around the fact that Kara hasn't been ignoring me because of my feelings for her, she's been ignoring because of her feelings for me...the feelings that she's doesn't want to have because she loves the old me...or should I say the complete me. And that's understandable...I don't think I'd want to be in a relationship if I were in her shoes, so I see why she's been pushing me away...she doesn't need a boyfriend, she just needs a friend to help her through this...and I'm more than happy to be that for her.

"Kara..." I call out before thinking, causing Kara to look away from the windows behind the couch and back towards me, "...if it's okay with you...I'd be more than happy just being you're friend" I say, my voice turning into a whisper at some point.

"No" Kara replies quickly, causing something inside me to shatter.

"No?" I ask, a lump in my throat beginning to appear.

"No" Kara confirms, a-bit louder and clearer than before.

"Oh..o-okay well I-I guess I'll just go" I say moving to get up, as I begin to feel tears fill into the brinks of my eyes. I came here to hopefully make things better between us...but I singlehandedly made things worse...completely...utterly worse.

"Mon-el wait!" Kara calls out, as she gently grasp onto my wrist.

I turn back around facing her, not even caring that tears are currently falling down my face.

"Don't go...please" Kara says softly, her voice barley above a whisper, and her eyes basically pleading...how in Rao's name am I supposed to leave if she's looking at me like that?!

"...Kara" I start in protest but it's useless, because Kara has already sat me back down onto the couch, but only this time we were closer.

"I don't wanna be you're friend Mon-el" Kara says facing me but not quite making eye contact.

'Is she trying to make me feel even more embarrassed?' I ask myself not believing that she sat me back down...to what? Explain why she doesn't wanna be with me? Because frankly I don't think make me feel any better.

"...I-I wanna be more than that" Kara adds, looking up at me, with a hopeful, yet terrified gaze.

"You-you what?" I stammer. I-I must of misheard her.

Instead of answering, Kara glances from my eyes to my lips, than back to my eyes, before moving forward to capture my lips in hers gently. At some point my hands moved to her waist, and hers onto the side of my beard and the nape of my neck. This kiss was just as soft and warm as the first one, but it was also deeper and more passionate.

When Kara pulled away, we were both left breathless.

"So, that's what you meant?" I ask breathing out gently, causing Kara to chuckle softly.

"Yeah..." Kara remarks, as she leans in again, but I gently stop her by asking.

"what if it doesn't work?..." I question repeating her words for earlier, Kara only smiles tenderly in response.

"We'll figure something out" Kara mumbles repeating my words softly, before she moves in for another kiss, which I gladly accept.