"Okay, she's being moved to the NICU, she's -"

"Can we see her?" Nico cut off the doctor, too worried to really think of anything else other than 'Zoella, Zoella, Let me see my baby, Zoella, Zoella,'

"Soon but I must warn you she is in a very unstable condition - I really should tell you what's going on before you work up the courage to go see her. She's going to have a scar all the way down her chest, wires in her nose, she'll be covered in medical tape and you really need to know what you should be expecting before you see it, even people who work in the field need preparation before seeing what you're about to see,"

The two boys had already stood up (which had proven to be very difficult considering he had just pushed a baby out of him hours ago and was slightly sore) but he had braced himself on the end of the bed, plus his hand in Percy's helped, knowing someone was there.

Percy felt broken. He didn't know how to explain it with any other word. Shattered? Maybe Crumbling? He really just couldn't put his finger on the word, but he knew it sucked, he felt like crying, screaming, he wanted to curse the gods, but at the same time, he didn't want to piss of the ones that actually thought keeping the baby would be a good idea.

"Okay," Nico said, Percy felt the younger boy squeeze his hand lightly. The son of Hades looked up at Percy silently asking 'are you ready?' Percy nodded as he looked at the boy's tear-brimmed eyes, the beautiful brown eyes that on any other day would bring a bright smile to his face. "Okay," Percy mumbled.

Nico held eye-contact for a moment longer, searching Percy's eyes for a more intricate answer, but in the end had turned back to Kate, nodding his head, not trusting the words to come out of his mouth.

"Zoella is very sick," She deadpans, which made the two boys sad, even though they already knew that much. "To pinpoint exactly what seems to be the problem, is very difficult, especially after just going in there. You'd think that would be the best way, but in reality, tests and scans are the best way to really know, because we can observe, and watch, and compare, but just going in there it's more heat of the moment. but so far, we know she has PDA, which is basically a heart condition. She has a hole in her Aorta, many preemies have it without some ever really realizing it because the hole is so small, however, Zoella's is a rare case of it being pretty extreme,"

Kate took a deep breath, clearly trying to word it correctly, but she had just spent hours on a surgery and now had to explain to the parents what was wrong. It wasn't exactly enjoyable, plus you have to be extremely careful with every word said, because she knew Nico and Percy would probably cling onto the words as they sat for hours next to their very weak baby.

"We'll be watching her closely for the next 72 hours, and then we'll know what to do by then, hopefully, but now, it's really all theoretical. And I wish I had more answers for you, I really do, but I don't, and the most I can do is prepare you for what you're about to see,"

Nico and Percy didn't know what to say, so the two new parents simply nodded, bracing themselves for what they would hear, and wanting to absorb all information to hopefully make seeing their daughter a little less difficult.

"She can't breathe or eat on her own, so she has a feeding tube, along with a oxygen tube. In reality, the tube itself is small, but so is she, which makes it look a lot worse than it is. Plenty of preemies require these, just Zoella is -"

"A special case," Nico finished for her, his voice breaking. Percy looked down and he knew Nico would most likely never admit it, but Percy could see the emotion on his face. Nico blamed himself. He knew he should say something along the lines of 'stop that, that won't help anything' but at the same time, now wasn't really the time to say that.

"Yes," Kate confirmed. "She also has bandaging covering up the incision point. Which once again, will seem so much worse than what it really is because of how just small she is," Kate said. She wanted to be gentle with the words she used, but at the same time, she wanted them to know what they were about to see. "She'll also have a few wires on her chest, tracking her heart rhythm. Please, please keep in mind it will look worse than it is," She said finally, clasping her hands together. Nodding their heads, they waited for Kate to say more, but the next words that she said were the most confusing words she had said.

"Follow me,"

Nico or Percy didn't know if they should be elated to see their daughter or terrified. Obviously, the two demigods would be relieved, but neither would be jumping from joy at the sight of Zoella sick and weak in a baby incubator. Yet, they would also finally be able to see their baby. It was a lot of mixed emotions.

Kate lead them through the hall, the hall they had spent most of their days at the hospital. 'The special wing' as Nico could call it, sense their entire situation just seemed to be special. The son of Hades tried not to limp, but it was a bit difficult, but he hid it well enough. However, it was a lot of walking.

After a bit more walking, they finally turned one last hallway, walked a few more steps, and there they were, walking into a room labeled 'NICU'. Nico's breath hitched as the door opened and the first thing he saw was other babies, and other parents by those babies, some with tears in their eyes, and all of them broken.

Kate lead them through a bit of the room and in a corner, pretty secluded, still had a few people near, but out of ear-shot. Nico knew Kate probably did this on purpose, or Shane at least, given their special condition of being demigods and being able to be a boy and give birth to a child, someone hearing that would raise suspicion.

Walking hand in hand, the two demigods braced themselves as they neared one of the incubators, the one Kate had stopped by. The one that held Zoella.

One more step further and they saw something that no amount of information would have ever prepared them for. Nico let out a choked sob noise, and Percy let out a shaky, broken breath, covering his mouth with his hand in shock.

"Oh, gods," Percy spoke, walking closer to Zoella, tears gathering in his eyes, unable to push them back, Nico having the same problem. Percy tried to tell himself that it looked worse because of how small she was, but looking down and seeing ALL the tubes and wires, knowing they were keeping her alive, it was hard to think of it not being bad.

The closer the two parents got, the more it was bittersweet. They knew they should be more excited, they were seeing their baby for the first time, but at the same time, she was so sick. However, the tubes and wires, and the tape, and the ill lighting couldn't take away her beauty.

Nico was never one to find babies that different from the next, but Zoella was definitely beautiful and special. Maybe it was because it was his baby, but he was sure he would never find anything else so beautiful and perfect.

Percy took a step towards his daughter, holding back a sob as he looked at her for the first time (of course besides the time when she was rushed away from the delivery room to the O.R)

The son of Poseidon wanted to do so much. He wanted to hold Zoella. He wanted to kiss her forehead, cradle her in his arms and not let anyone or anything hurt her. Waves of protectiveness just washed over him. But, everything he wanted to do, he couldn't. He couldn't do any of it, because she was in the incubator, covered in medical supplies. And it hurt, it was like being trapped, but he wasn't trapped, she was trapped. Not him. But it gave off the same feeling.

"I want to say again, it looks far worse than it actually is," Kate began, looking at the two demigods. "I mean, it isn't ideal, but it isn't as bad as your mind are going to make it look like, please try and remember that,"

Nico only managed a nod, Percy was unresponsive, only able to look at his and Nico's daughter, he knew Kate was only trying to help, but it was hard to care of someone else when your newborn was on the brink of death.

There were already two chairs pulled up by Zoella's incubator, and Nico took one, slumping down, still holding back tears. Percy followed in pursuit, choosing that sitting down on his own record would be better than his knees giving out.

"We'll leave you three alone," the doctor said calmly. "We'll be back to check on Zoella every hour or so, but they'll always be one nurse to page us if anything goes - um, wrong,"

This time Percy answered, nodding while speaking: "Yes, thank you," He said, glad his voice didn't break too much. Kate walked out, Shane trailing behind her. "Gods," Nico said, looking at the sight before him.

"I know," Percy said, reaching his hand out for Nico's, squeezing it for reassurance. "It's -"

"Horrible," Nico finished.

"Yeah," Percy agreed. They both sat there, looking at their daughter, not sure what else they could do. She was still so small, that the option to stick your hand into the little incubator thing, wasn't there, the holes closed up, only able to be opened with a key.

That they didn't have.

All they could do was sit there, looking at their precious Zoella, not able to do a thing about her sickness.

-

Either Kate or Shane has walked in each hour, as Kate had said earlier. The entire time, Nico and Percy just watched as they did the same routine, checking her breathing, how her heart was beating. Percy and Nico did ask questions, but they didn't really understand what was happening completely, which made it very hard to ask something - because, well, where do you begin?

"Her heartbeat is getting a bit stronger, not as much as we would like, but as much as we would expect," Shane said.

Nico nodded, breaking eye-contact from Zoella and looking up at the intern, "Thank you," He mumbled, but quickly looking back down at his daughter. 'Do you think she'll get better?' The question stayed on the tip of his tongue, but he didn't say it, mainly because he didn't know if he could handle it when Shane scrambled to get out a fancy way of saying 'I don't know, maybe, we don't know, not for sure'

Nico knew that's what he would say.

Because he knew that's all he could.

Shane wasn't allowed to say much else. He wasn't allowed to really say his truthful opinion because whatever he said, he would be held to, and then if something did go wrong, he would have to explain why he was wrong. So, 'I don't know, maybe, we don't know, not for sure' seemed to be the only thing that he could really say.

"Well, we'll be back to check on her again, I'd try to get some sleep," Shane said, taking off his gloves, throwing them away, and walking out of the room. Nico almost laughed, but he couldn't given the situation, but sleep?

Shane had not a single clue what he'd been through, or he would have never told Nico to get some sleep. One, Nico was very good at going ages without sleep, and secondly, if he went to sleep, he'd have a nightmare, one that would thirty times worse than reality.

Percy was clearly thinking the same thing, as he let out a grim laugh of sorts. More of a shaky breath, really. "She'll get better?" There was a small pause. "Right?"

"Yeah," Nico said, not sure if he was lying or not. he really hoped he wasn't lying. "She has too,"

"Exactly," Peercy said. "It has too,"

Almost on cue, beeping sound. Percy and Nico both snapped out of some sort of trance. It was like they were looking at her, but almost numbly. They both stood up and looked at their daughter, her face was struggling to breathe.

The nurse that ran the NICU came rushing over, opposite of the two demigods and opening the incubator. "Someone page Doctor Katelyn Holt,"

Nico was looking around the room, everything seemed to be going at a different speed, He wasn't sure if it was slow or fast. The best word to really describe it would be chaotic. Someone clearly had listened to her, because moments later Kate was rushing into the NICU, her hair in a messy bun and already putting gloves on. "Talk to me, Daniels," She said, Shane rushing in behind her.

"She was seeming stable and then she just coded," Said the nurse, who Nico now knew as Daniels. Kate had taken control of the situation, pulling on wires, putting them on, Nico didn't even know how he was supposed to focus on all of it.

Kate rested her hand on top of Zoella's chest, she kept her hand steady on the newborn's chest. She was mumbling something and Nico knew what she was doing - she was using her powers as a daughter of Apollo to try and determine what the hell was happening.

However, the gods weren't exactly on their side. It sounded as if she was praying to her father, but Nico knew better than to bet on him helping them out. "Okay," She said a little louder and began gesturing Shane around, using gestures and Shane just knew what they meant. "Okay," She repeated, backing up, taking off her gloves.

"Kate," Percy began. "What's wrong?" He asked.

No response, she kept going, doing a bunch of different things, mainly pulling out a transfer cart-thing.

"Katelyn?" Percy repeated.

Nico was growing increasingly worried. And, Kate, bless her, she was an amazing doctor, but she had an answering questions issue. He wanted - no - needed to know what was happening with his daughter. Kate obviously knew to some extinct, but she just couldn't see to get it out.

"Doctor Holt!" Nico snapped, not meaning too but he was too worried to care much about being rude.

She managed to stop her train of thought and looked at Nico and Percy, going from Nico's eyes, to Percy's. "Her lungs collapsed, and with the recent surgery it complicates things, but I promise you, I'll try,"

Nico's heart shattered.

---

well, this was a tear-jerker. 

i got sad writing this so im with y'all. also im back. i've been back and writing for awhile, but i had a chapter for my other work in the drafts so i did that one first <3

i wasn't able to reply to many of the kind words y'all sent me, but i REALLY appreciated them and i saw them and they made me smile, so thank you <3 it means a lot. 

uhm, the next update should be out soon, and this book is coming to a sort of end. i'm not opposed to a sequel, i kind of have a name already, but this one kind of like EXPECTING which means expecting a child? i don't know i may end it, may not, whoop.

also it's my birthday, 15 years old today. i feel like 15 really isn't that different, but when people that read some fo my smut ever wonder how old i am '15' it better to say than '14' like i feel like there's this unspoken thing of growing up? you know? i don't know.

like im 15 but i don't feel all that different, it's just another number, blah. whatever.

hopefully i get a bloody hoodie bc that's literally all i want.

anyway, loves. thank you for reading everything (and maybe even this long a/n bc i can be a dumb ass)

thank you, RainbowChild546 for beta-reading this, <3

 biyaaaa :p