I know.

I know as soon as I stumble into the homely little cottage that is eerily silent, with only the wind howling outside.

I don't believe it at first.

I push the feeling away, ignore the dread pooling in the pit of my stomach, the bile rising in the back of my throat.

It is too quiet.

I don't dare call out, for he might still be here, preparing to leap out of the shadows and take me by surprise. 

I know he has long gone.

But I cling to a hope, a tiny slither of hope, that he might have shown her mercy.

Then I see James Potter.

I see his slack jaw, his limp form, his glassy eyes that are rolled back in his head. 

I can't stop the tears that cloud my vision, the choked sob that escapes from me.

I know what this means.

Then, I hear another sound, faint against the vicious gale that is attacking the cottage, beating it with its iron fists.

It is a child crying.

It is all the motivation I need to stumble on, crashing into things in my path and ignoring the flashes of lightning that illuminate my surroundings. 

The crying is getting louder. 

I stagger on, and it feels like hours instead of mere seconds. 

I reach a doorway, unable to see the inside of the room as the engulfing darkness intensifies. 

I reach out a shaky hand to push open the door, and as I enter the room, a sudden crash of thunder and flare of lightning allow me to see it.

See her. 

No. 

She can't be dead.

She is just unconscious, I tell myself.

I am lying.

I don't notice the source of the wailing, the lone child in his cot, grieving for the loss of his mother.

I only have eyes for her.

Lily.

But this isn't my Lily. 

The one I grew up with, smiling, laughing, forever happy. 

Not this Lily, the one sprawled on the floor, her flaming hair fanned out around her. 

Not this Lily, who's limp hand sports her silver wedding ring, forever binding her to James Potter. 

I hear a thud, and realise that it is my own body, collapsed against the wall, unable to hold myself upright any longer. 

I can only stare at her through the blinding tears, coming hot and thick and fast now.

My lungs are closing in, and I don't care that I'm struggling for air, that black spots are appearing at the edges of my vision. 

I pick myself up, although it hurts to do so, and drag my body over to hers.

I scoop her lifeless form in my arms, holding on for dear life.

I remember when we used to hug each other as children.

I would give anything for her to hug me back again.

I am sobbing now, awful raging sounds that rip through me and tear me apart, piece by piece. 

I squeeze her tighter.

Wake up Lily.

I want to see you smile, laugh, cry.

Anything.

I want you to be alive.

Please Lily.

I don't know how to live without you.

I want to hear you sing, like you used to do when we were lying on the grass under the oak tree all those years ago.

I want to hear you hum, as you so frequently did when we were skipping down the Hogwarts corridors, dodging Peeves as he tried to assult us with water balloons. 

I want to hear you scold me, like you did on many occasions when I stepped out of line.

Anything.

I will always love you Lily.

Always.

I cling to her, holding on tightly, knowing that I will soon have to leave. 

Someone will be coming to collect your son soon Lily. 

I can't leave you Lily.

I knew that from the moment I set eyes you. 

Where has the fire in your eyes gone?

Where has that gorgeous smile that all the boys swooned over disappeared to?

I squeeze my eyes shut, gripping her broken form even more. 

My salty tears fall into her vibrant red hair.

Wake up.

Lily.

Please.

Then, with one final, painful sob, I gently place her back on the floor, caressing her striking locks.

I wipe the tears off my cheeks. 

I leave her there.

I let her go. 

A/N: Hi everyone! I wanted to write a collection of Harry Potter one-shots because I have so many ideas and don't want to keep making separate books for them all... so here is one from Snape's point of view when he found Lily Potter's body. I tried to articulate his pain and make it emotional, but I'm not very good at it😝 All the same, I hope you enjoyed it!

What should I write about next?

Lots of love

Saf xx