"I am an only boy in my family. It was the same for Gaurav, my cousin he had  two elder sisters. So we both craved for a brother and when they shifted to our society we were extremely happy. Then it began, late night BBQ, drinking while watching movies and going on a bike ride around the whole city. We were inseparable like best friends. Until I got admitted here and he was sent to a boarding school because of his low grades", He sighed biting his lips as if holding back his emotions. I could see the pain in his eyes as he ignored eye contact.

"You miss him?" I asked softly. He nodded.

"We didn't talk for a while as I thought he was busy. I didn't knew he was depressed...", He trailed off his eyes turning red filled with regret. I kept quiet not knowing how to assure him.

"He didn't write any letter, just...", He hiccuped trying to control his voice from breaking. Then the tears dropped one by one. I wasn't sure how to comfort him. He was stifling his voice to stop the sob from emerging.

I stood up and hugged him sideways.

"Let it out, you can cry", I said and he nodded wiping the tears away. I stood there for a while as he calmed down.

"I am okay now. You can sit", He told me pulling his arm away. I nodded and went back to my seat.

"I just wish he... he called me. Told me how sad he was, shared his problems and stress with me. I feel so useless from inside, I couldn't save my Gauri, my little brother. And you know Rosie he wasn't a weak willed boy. I can still see him smiling at me as he joked around. Everyone adored him", He said his eyes on the ceiling as he gulped. His face has turned red as he tried to maintain a blank face.

"He wasn't a stranger, I could have called him. How wasn't I aware that he was depressed? I... wish I could go back. These days I see myself going back and supporting him like I was supposed to. But I failed as an elder brother", His voice was filled with pain as he closed his eyes. The tears dropped one by one and then he laid his head on the table, covering his eyes with his arm.

I didn't knew what to do so I kept quiet and let him cry. I was feeling weird, this was the first time I saw Karthik cry. He never cried in front of me in the two lives. This must have happened in last life too. And that's why the quirky chatterbox transitioned into a quiet man.

I curled my fingers and watched him. He was in the same position not moving, but I knew he was crying. My hands hovered above his head but stopped midair. I sighed and placed it back on my lap.

I felt useless at the moment. And was clueless about how to comfort him. I passed him a tissue as he raised his head. Wiping the tears and snot away he cleared his throat.

"I hate him. He was so selfish, he left me behind. He could have written a parting letter. Anything. How weak was he?" He asked his voice breaking my heart.

"He wasn't weak Karthik, it was the moment. Depression is a big thing, a person who is depressed can be impulsive. The fact that he didn't write a suicide note proves that it was just the wrong time. He must be sad...", I said reminiscing the past when I slit my wrist. It was a weak moment for me too, I never planned it.

"He must be lonely", I whispered as the emotional tornado started building up inside me. It was the same for me, I was lonely. I couldn't run home to my parents or cry to a dear friend. As I had neither. I had no one.

His tear stricken eyes blinked and narrowed as if he was thinking about something deeply.

"He had me", His voice was filled with slight anger and sadness.

***

As I laid on my bed, his voice kept echoing in my brain.

He had me

I remember the day Siddharth and Pari were getting engaged. I was numbly sitting on the swing when Karthik saw me. Instead of being an ass to me like usual he comforted me.

"Rosie listen to me. Talk to me, shout at me, at least cry but don't look at me like that. You are scaring me"

"No Rosie you can't break... you are my only.. hope. Please bring her back"

I knew someone was there with me that night. That person stayed with me holding my hands. Was it Karthik?

It has to be as although I don't remember much, I remember the moments before I broke down. It was an unpleasant memory so I don't remember anything but his words. They sounded desperate, so when I woke up I thought it was a dream.

'Karthik can never be nice to me', I thought. But now that I think back it felt real. His pleading eyes, the warmth of his fingers on my head as he caressed it.

I was crying in my half sleep state when he consoled me.

I won't leave, Rosie

He said the truth today. I never realised it or never thought back to it.  When I had no one, he was the only one who tried to drag me out of my depression. But he was too late, I was far too gone.

I felt my chest tightening as I remembered his tears from evening. I was restless, to know how was he.

Was he still crying?

Inspite of being enemies in last life he wasn't inhuman. He could see my pain and didn't ignore my cries like others. He could have hurt me with them knowing that I was at my weakest but he didn't. Instead he tried to cheer me up.

Maybe it's true. I never realised that I had him.

***

So this was chapter 29.

This chapter is dedicated to my highschool friend Nisha. I hope wherever you are, you are smiling. Rest in peace ❤️