empty mind,

numb feelings,

i can't stop questioning myself,

"Why?"

and I can't fucking get rid of this craze,

i feel like i'm trying too hard,

i feeling trapped in this maze,

with my mouth giving a lot of,

"I'm okays",

and i'm shoving down how i really feel

because my mind is not a safe place,

i wish i could say i try,

but to be honest,

i'd be lying.

it's like i've got no more motivation,

to keep going.

i feel like i'm cracking,

like an eggshell,

one more hit and I'm broken,

i've never said this to anyone's face,

but i'm ready to let go,

leave this place.

my heads on a constant spin,

and i don't want to let anyone in,

because if they knew the things,

that went on in my mind,

they would leave,

and say goodbye.

i've lost all interest in my favorite things,

my favorite people,

i lost all want to be around them,

to talk to anyone,

and honestly the only reason,

i haven't stopped,

is because I don't want,

them to worry about me,

because they don't need,

my issues on their mind too.

i keep seeing things that aren't there,

hearing things that aren't there,

feeling things that aren't there,

and it drives me nuts,

because I keep thinking it's real,

even though, it's not,

and I wish it would stop.

but no matter what,

i seem to do,

i keep letting it get to me,

i keep believing it,

i keep thinking it's real,

i'm so paranoid,

thinking someone's following me,

watching me,

stalking me,

and I know,

that there's no one there,

but my mind keeps telling me there is,

i'm on a constant page,

of wanting to harm myself,

i want to see myself bleed,

i want to feel the pain.

but I can't.